Hey dude, I know it's heating up in here, but just stay cool. Stay cool. Unfortunately, talking to my beers about their habit of going chihuahua-whizzing-on-my-leg warm after the first few sips has proven pretty useless. I'm told I need reinforcements. A Beer Whisperer. A BottleKeeper.
The BottleKeeper is an insulated, neoprene-lined stainless steel beer sleeve designed to keep your bottles "colder, longer, and sexier than ever." And that's sexy both in sleek and shiny appearance, and in drinking action, as the BottleKeeper also protects its glass contents from antagonists such as gravity, misguided feet, and clumsy hands that have been through 2 smartphones and 5 smartphone screens in the past year and probably should not be trusted with any liquid not poured into a sippy cup anyway.
BottleKeepers come in 3 different sizes to accommodate the widest range of beer bottles possible. There's a 12oz Standard, a 12oz Stubby, and a 22oz Bomber, all in your choice of 3 to 5 different colors. And when you're not tipping one back, an included Custom BottleKeeper Cap screws over your open beer top to create a seal for transport or safekeeping. Click here to check which size BottleKeeper you'll need for your favorite brand's bottle.
According to the BottleKeeper guys, who reportedly got their data from science, slipping your longneck into a BottleKeeper will hold it up to 40% colder than a standard beer koozie. Using one is pretty simple: unscrew the bottom of the BottleKeeper, and slide your beer in neck-first. You can check out all BottleKeeper sizes and colors here.