39

The BottleKeeper

By: on December 16, 2016
  • The BottleKeeper
  • The BottleKeeper
  • The BottleKeeper
  • The BottleKeeper
  • The BottleKeeper
$22 - $30
Check It Out

Hey dude, I know it's heating up in here, but just stay cool. Stay cool. Unfortunately, talking to my beers about their habit of going chihuahua-whizzing-on-my-leg warm after the first few sips has proven pretty useless. I'm told I need reinforcements. A Beer Whisperer. A BottleKeeper.

The BottleKeeper is an insulated, neoprene-lined stainless steel beer sleeve designed to keep your bottles "colder, longer, and sexier than ever." And that's sexy both in sleek and shiny appearance, and in drinking action, as the BottleKeeper also protects its glass contents from antagonists such as gravity, misguided feet, and clumsy hands that have been through 2 smartphones and 5 smartphone screens in the past year and probably should not be trusted with any liquid not poured into a sippy cup anyway.

BottleKeepers come in 3 different sizes to accommodate the widest range of beer bottles possible. There's a 12oz Standard, a 12oz Stubby, and a 22oz Bomber, all in your choice of 3 to 5 different colors. And when you're not tipping one back, an included Custom BottleKeeper Cap screws over your open beer top to create a seal for transport or safekeeping. Click here to check which size BottleKeeper you'll need for your favorite brand's bottle.

According to the BottleKeeper guys, who reportedly got their data from science, slipping your longneck into a BottleKeeper will hold it up to 40% colder than a standard beer koozie. Using one is pretty simple: unscrew the bottom of the BottleKeeper, and slide your beer in neck-first. You can check out all BottleKeeper sizes and colors here.

Buy Now

Embrava Best Ever Water Bottle

$37.95 from Amazon »

Embrava's water bottle is hands down (and bottoms up) the best water bottle I've ever owned. I'll grant, whether you agree with me or not depends on what you're looking for in a water bottle, but if we have similar requirements...

Check it out

Dual Beer Glass

$35 from Etsy »

At first I thought the Dual Beer Glass was intended for sampling two different types of beers at once, and I was like, How the dickens am I supposed to keep one from spilling all over my crotch when I'm drinking the other?...

Check it out

The Can Stamp

$6.95 from Can Stamp »

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things...

Check it out

HOPii Personal Micro-Brewery

$399 - $599 from HOPii »

HOPii on one foot and do a little jig, beer lovers. This little micro-brewery is coming to ferment your favorite craft beers right from your kitchen countertop. HOPii is your personal brewmaster. Really, the machine is...

Check it out

The Knockout Beer/Water/Gravity Bong

$40 from The Knockout »

I used to prefer my knockouts served as Fireball shots and right hooks, but this Knockout, a new twist on the beer bong, might leave those standards unconscious and bleeding from the ear on the floor. Designed for attachment...

Check it out

Snake Venom - World's (New) Strongest Beer

$78 from Firebox.com »

At this time last year, the World's Strongest Beer was Armageddon, a 330 mL bottle of malt, hops, a little sweetness, and an awesome 65% ABV crafted by Scottish brewery Brewmeister. This year, the World's New Strongest...

Check it out

Modpools - Shipping Container Swimming Pools

$26,900 from Modpools »

Rather the seal him inside a shipping container bound for Abu Dhabi, why not fill that shipping container with water and let Odie dog paddle around inside it with you this summer? Dig up a big hole in your backyard, and...

Check it out

Biersafe Underground Beer Cooler

$67 - $117 from Biersafe »

The Biersafe Underground Beer Cooler is a smaller, simpler, and much cheaper version of a design I first saw in the eCool cooler. The Biersafe removes some of the nifty engineering of the eCool - like, instead of using...

Check it out

The Can Cannon Soda Can Launcher

$398.95 from XProducts »

Big & Rich recommend ladies save a horse, ride a cowboy, and the Can Cannon recommends cowboys save a bullet, fire a shook-up sodie can....

Check it out

Beer Tree Gravity-Fed Home Brewer

Are normal home brewing kits typically boring and ugly? I don't really know, as I focus more on drinking beer than making beer (best to funnel all of your energy into a single channel and dominate it!) but whatever normal...

Buy Now

Stanley Stein Hockey Beer Mug

$58.95 from Amazon »

I don't always watch hockey, but when I do...I prefer to do it drunk of my ass so I find it more entertaining. This beer mug incarnation of the Stanley Cup looks like a great way to achieve drunk off my ass with a quickness....

Buy Now

Igloo Party Bar Cooler with LiddUp Lighting

$154.37 from Amazon »

The Igloo Party Bar Cooler keeps the party lit up all night long courtesy of LiddUp technology. About 4 years ago, startup LiddUp sought crowdfunding for its own illuminated cooler. The campaign didn't quite hit its goal...