A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, March 13, 2014
$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Monday, June 30, 2014
$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

I don't really need another cast metal telescoping ring fashioned in the steampunk style, but I can be convinced to buy pretty much anything for the right price. And at half off/$9.99 at printing, Captain Jules' Extraordinary...

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

When I see alien abduction images like this lamp's they make me think of one thing: Cartman gets an anal probe. Ugh, poor cow. Well, maybe not. I mean, really, whatever fate lies ahead for him on that spaceship can't be any worse than the captive bolt pistol awaiting him when Farmer Brown gets a hankering for some brisket....

Monday, July 7, 2014
$54.70 from Amazon »

The Wonderbag. Huh. It looks like a dog bed, but they say it cooks food. So well, in fact, that the portable slow cooker can serve as a a simple, inexpensive, and effective means of reducing energy costs and usage worldwide...

Monday, May 26, 2014
$19.97 from Amazon »

Dude reader Richard B. wrote to me in reverential verse about the ThermaCELL, a battery-operated personal mosquito repellent. His words were so moving and convincing that I really had no choice but to pass the endorsement...

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Alien prequel Prometheus doesn't hit theaters until June 1, 2012. So in the interim, let's take a trip down memory lane to the series' Alien vs. Predator installment. Are you there? OK, now throw in a motorcycle, a grip of recycled metal, and a superbly talented Thai sci-fi nut....

Sunday, May 18, 2014
$24.49 from Amazon »

I don't know about the BugZooka's whole catch-and-release design. I mean, yeah, if I caught my senile neighbor's cat Willard in my house again and had a CatZooka that would humanely suck him up into a holding chamber long...

Monday, February 20, 2012
Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from every...

Sunday, June 15, 2014
$20.12 from Amazon »

Looks like Wooly Willy is a new daddy. They told him this would happen if he didn't stay away from that sexy hourglass at the front desk. Now he's got at least 18 years of minding his little iron fillings in 60-second cycles....

Friday, January 18, 2013
$28.01 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mama), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$125 - $179 from Amazon »

A less expensive alternative to the Crypteks USB Drive, the Apricorn Aegis Secure Key Flash Drive boasts military grade full-disk AES 256-bit CBC hardware encryption, further protected by a 7- to 15-digit PIN-activated alphanumeric...

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Wednesday, December 3, 2014
$49.95 from Amazon »

Though the Silhouette wine glass appears to be designed to make the wine drinking process less difficult and embarrassing for people with inordinately large noses, its true benefits extend to proboscises of all sizes. The...

Monday, June 9, 2014

It is now your karma to stay connected wherever you may roam. It is also your karma to earn free data in return for sharing your Karma WiFi hotspot with others. The Karma Hotspot, a 4G pay-as-you-go data conduit provides remote...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker, Catwoman...

Friday, August 15, 2014
$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Save a few bucks on the ChargeKey this week and next. It's on sale for $24.99 from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$20.38 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur of...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Sunday, March 16, 2014
$22.69 from Amazon »

Not so scary when you're splayed across my coffee table in 20 detachable organs and body parts, are you Jaws? Ow! F- OK, fine. Teeth still sharp in 13" long 4D model. Shark still mildly intimidating....

Sunday, December 15, 2013
$35.95 from Amazon »

Skypanels are intended to make places such as waiting rooms and hospitals and dentists' chairs and baby nurseries less awful than they inherently are by covering harsh fluorescent lights and diffusing their searing output...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get a flashlight...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$12.91 from Amazon »

Great. Now when I don't catch the frisbee not only is it going to hit me in the face, it's going to hit me in the face and then bounce off up to 25 feet. The Sky Bouncer flies like a disc but ricochets off walls, floors, skulls...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$149 from Amazon »

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with heart...

Tuesday, March 11, 2014
$125 from Healbe »

Healbe calls its GoBe wristband a 100% automatic body manager. Like the scads of other fitness trackers available and forthcoming today, this means it detects and provides feedback on biometrics such as heart rate, blood pressure...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Nice. A condom to carry my message to all the unborn children in the world. Attention would-be zygotes! I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER!...

Friday, October 17, 2014
$100 - $140 from Third Eye Design »

I don't know very many regular motorcycle riders who have never been in a wreck. And while half the time it's happened because they were doing something Level 9 stupid, the other half it was because they got rear-ended or...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$75 - $350 from Amazon »

Defense wins games. (Right, Peyton?) Defensive driving prevents accidents. Proof of self-defense averts jail time. And a Pelican crushproof barrier defending your laptop against fat Aunt Jan tripping over a strap of the backpack...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.95 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$5 - $95 from Fiverr »

For as little as $5, Uruguayan artist Eliana Fernandez will send you a glimpse of yourself inside some of TV's most popular animated series. Kick off the return of The Simpsons and Family Guy, or bid farewell to Futurama with...

Sunday, December 22, 2013
$101.89 from Amazon »

myFC PowerTrekk is a portable fuel cell charger that runs on ordinary water. Ordinary water orrrrr...a rechargeable lithium-ion battery....

Saturday, December 6, 2014
$10.99 from Amazon »

No one can resist Pete's Schweddy Balls. They come from an old family recipe. Delicate and toothsome with a moist, chewy center, Schweddy Balls will put all other balls you've ever put in your mouth to shame. With their perfect...

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Loot Crates are what happens when Santa Claus remembers all of his favorite geeks and gamers the other 11 months of the year. You don't even have to be nice or well-behaved or someone who doesn't tailgate on the highway. All...

Friday, August 10, 2012

It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From his...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014
$39.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Slip a LithiumCard Portable HyperCharger into your wallet for just $39.99. That's 27% off retail value for a limited time from Dude Exclusives....

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Wednesday, August 27, 2014
$2,050 from Ferrari Store »

Sure, $2 grand is steep, but it's not like this is just a Ferrari carbon fiber chess set. Look, you can play checkers on it too. And check out the varnish on those red playing pieces. I can almost see my reflection in them...

Friday, March 14, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

It's almost spring! Only...I don't know, however many days until the first day of spring...days away. What am I, a meteorologist? I'm 80% sure it happens sometime this month. And that means it's time to plant your garden....

Sunday, December 14, 2014
$11.54 from Amazon »

English majors and word nerds, get your snorts and snickers ready. And everyone else rolling your eyes, get your glasses ready. I'm sure Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist will seem hilarious to you too after...

Saturday, January 4, 2014
$239.68 - $573.97 from Amazon »

These Pelican coolers have 7- 10-day ice retention properties. That's pretty good. Nowhere near those of my ex, who has retained the ice in her heart for, like, 2 years now, but for a cooler, pretty good. Coined Elite Marine...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Scottevest SeV Sterling jacket has 24 interior pockets. 24! That means it can hold my wallet (condoms), water bottle (lube), iPad (In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon DVD), sunglasses (vibrator), Bluetooth headset (butt...

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Flashy diamonds, fat rings, and firing machines: the Uzi ring is a thug's dream. And though designer Jason of Beverly Hills lists it in his jewelry for gents section, he points out there is no reason thugesses can't sport...

Saturday, October 6, 2012

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$994.95 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in my...

Monday, October 21, 2013
$199.99 from ThinkGeek »

What elevates a Star Wars watch to designer status? Uhhh...price tag? Sophisticated aesthetics? Not coming attached to a rubbery plastic band my dog and I can chew on? And if that's the case, why exactly would I want a designer...

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

According to Hush, "The moonshine business was built on confidence, loyalty and the ability to keep secrets." That's a nice way to put it. Nicer than, "The moonshine business originated as an illegal and criminal activity...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$99.99 from Brookstone »

The Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard is cool, but palm-sized? Come on, technology, you can do better than that. Let me see thumb-sized. Let me see belly button-sized. Let me see...oh, you have thumb-sized now? A Keychain Laser...

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$70.71 from Grand Illusions »

The trickery of prisms strikes again! Here two hunks of Dove plexiglass fit over a pair of glasses' eyepieces to invert all images the wearer sees. Reversing Goggles make for interesting school science experiments, as in the...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014
$104.99 from Etsy »

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.) Called...

Saturday, July 19, 2014
Discontinued

As a frame of reference, I looked up how much it would cost to purchase a normal drinking fountain. Like, for a human. Under $400 from Amazon. So why would you spend $1,250 for a custom-made miniature wood drinking fountain...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
Discontinued

At first I was like, "Huh. Star Wars auction paddles and rhythmic gymnastics ribbons. Ummm...neat?" But then I looked up what BDSM is* and suddenly the gallery of items before me got a lot more interesting. GeekKink's Star...

Wednesday, December 10, 2014
$14.99 from The Bacon Jams »

Bacon jam is kind of like peanut butter: intended as a spread or topping, but inevitably eaten by the spoonful standing at the kitchen counter. Preserved pork advocates The Bacon Jams are happy to oblige either method of consumption...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
By: Fixed

Those of you who follow the detailed accounts I provide of my illustrious life now know that I have racked up many hundreds of dollars in unpaid parking tickets. So many hundreds that you could technically upgrade the term...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off and flying...

Friday, September 26, 2014
$5.99 - $9.99 from Viveltre »

Today's Lesson: If you're going to eat...hold on, let me count...30 jumbo marshmallows for breakfast, they may as well be jumbo marshmallows that are F'ing. Delicious. Viveltre, confectioner and administrator of my lesson...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Hmmm, ShutterBall looks like gadget fit for the MUA. But I guess that's not surprising given that people seem to enjoy taking selfies as much as they enjoy using sex toys these days. This bulbous piece of Bluetooth tech serves...

Friday, April 18, 2014
$12 - $14 from Amazon »

They call it a high performance guitar pick, which in my mind means that the Pykmax should do the guitar strumming for me. Like a player piano, but completely inconspicuously so that the ladies I'm trying to impress think...

Thursday, September 11, 2014
$27.84 from Amazon »

A 20-gauge shotgun shell thermos that holds only 16 ounces of liquid! Could they not have added 4 ounces so it makes more sense? Why is it so difficult for people to be smart and think logically? Anyway, this Shotshell insulated...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
$79 from Pro Idee »

I've heard the ideal rate at which to administer effective chest compressions when doing CPR is in accordance to the beat of "Stayin' Alive." But I wonder, what if you're not a Bee Gees fan? What if you could stomach singing...

Friday, October 31, 2014
$16.25 from Amazon »

Here at last to keep track of your 60-second increments of time: soapy water. Fill the Awaglass bubble timer with H2O and dish soap, shake it up, and marvel at the brilliant mind of a Japanese dude with so much time on his...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic...

Thursday, August 28, 2014
$9.79 - $16.01 from Amazon »

Duke Cannon would like you to know two things about his Big Ass Bricks of Soap. One, they are 3 times bigger than "feminine soaps." In other words, if you're not using a Big Ass Brick of "Smells Like Accomplishment" or "Smells...

Monday, June 30, 2014
$49.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the SmartPlane, the first smartphone-controlled aircraft known to man, for $20 off from Dude Exclusives through July 6, 2014!...

Sunday, April 14, 2013
$0.92 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves...

Tuesday, December 16, 2014
$8.81 from Amazon »

I wouldn't typically brag about something I have that's only 1.47" long, but when it comes to a powerful flashlight I want to attach to my keychain or dangle from my belt loop Streamlight's Nano Light actually gets points...

Monday, June 2, 2014
$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

This interest-free ChargeCard will never send you into debt and never threaten to ruin your credit. Granted, it won't buy you an iPhone 5s either, but should you get one and suffer a dead battery within the first 3 hours of...