A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, March 4, 2012
$885 from Uggi Lights »

Talk about lighting that makes a statement, sets a mood, and shows up all your friends with bass, elk, and golden retriever taxidermy. Skinned cod fish, or Uggi, lights are the fantastical creations of Icelandic artists Dögg...

Friday, November 29, 2013
$68 from Unikia »

Life hacking innovator Unikia adds the Stirio to its online showroom of tools that will expedite and elevate the filling of my belly. We previously saw the Compleat FoodSkin flexible lunchbox, a simple trick for keeping mile-high...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever craft masters but who were not clever or crafty enough to conceive this sweet, sleeved means of tricking kids into being their parents' servants. Hey, they're the reason your shoulders...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$9.89 from Amazon »

One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$28 from Amazon »

VinniBag is the answer to the call of Fra-gee-lay. Case in point: one time, back when I had a sugar mama, I went to Chilean wine country and while going through customs upon returning to my homeland I watched a dude pick up...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
$425 from NONDesigns »

I saw lights like those emitted from the FLIP tactile luminaire last night. Many, many lights. Prismatic shards of color beaming above my head and through my jugular to the beat of mmmchuck, mmmchuck, mmmchuck. People kept taking their shirts off. But none of them were girls. And I was with a bachelor party but...I'm pretty sure I don't know anyone getting married. It was kind of like a dream that...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Double up on the fish & chips and nuggets with fries, or cook one big vat of extra crispy fried chicken with Secura's triple-basket deep fryer. The electric countertop model contains a 1700-watt immersion element said to preheat...

Sunday, November 11, 2012
$21.66 - $77.10 from Amazon »

A swing and a miss no more. Not with 400 Lumens of LED light pouring from the tip of your baseball bat. Available in compact, but business-takin'-care-of 15-1/2", and say-goodbye-to-the-bones-in-your-face 23-1/2" models*...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013
$55 - $105 from Etsy »

Ladies, if you're wondering what dudes will say when you enter the room wearing a pair of Alanya Divine's custom-made silver elf ear cuffs, the answer is, "Yes, please." You like them for their craftily shaped argentium silver...

Thursday, June 13, 2013

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series of...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
$36.95 from BeerShorts »

Cold beers, cold thighs, elastic waist to accommodate the intake of fried things with your Buds and Coors, what more could you ask for in a pair of shorts? Beershorts' pair of built-in koozies not only eliminate the tedious...

Sunday, August 11, 2013
$115 - $335 from Etsy »

Land shark! Or at least the scariest part of the shark now available to tear into human flesh on land. Dane Kealoha's shark tooth weapons style themselves after traditional blades and blunt implements with walloping power...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$48 from Amazon »

When I need to cut line or slice through nylon...or, more likely, since I don't really do outdoor activities or know how to safely wield a knife, when I need to expediently cleave open the box containing my new copy of Hyrule...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$179 - $279 from Vachen »

One watch, over a hundred different faces--interchangeable at the flick of a finger. Reminds me of this bipolar chick I used to date...I sure hope the Vachen Smartwatch doesn't come with an I'm-gonna-bludgeon-you-with-my-F'd...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$21.99 from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Monday, March 4, 2013
$4.99 from ThinkGeek »

The little bit of good news I have for you today is that we are only 16 days away from spring and 27 days away from Easter*, which means Peep eating season is upon us! Even better tidings for Minecraft die-hards: Marshmallow...

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Monday, April 7, 2014
$5.99 from Amazon »

I drink all my wine on the rocks, so I don't really need a wine bottle thermometer, but if you're into the whole tradition and preservation and quality thing, maybe you'd like to slip this thermal readout cuff onto your favorite...

Monday, October 7, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Raul Souza's cleaver ring is what you use to threaten children who can't keep their hands to themselves when time out, grounding, and public humiliation cease to have an effect. Of course the ol' finger-sized-butcher's-knife-and-fake-blood...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014
$9.50 - $17.64 from Amazon »

Egglings are kind of a weird mash of concepts. Like, an egg is supposed to be a womb for growth, but if you crack it before the growth cycle is complete you don't get life, you get breakfast. With this egg though, if you don't...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$11.99 - $19.99 from Ember »

Not that we should be rewarded for irresponsibly drinking to excess such that we need preventative steps to hangovers, but...Ember kind of rewards us for irresponsibly drinking to excess by way of serving as a preventative...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$800 from Etsy »

Talk about tying a room together. Etsy shop owner Allie, self-described hoarder and clearcut winner of Best Latch-Hooker on Earth*, spent over 220 hours immortalizing The Dude in dream sequence rug form. Urinate on this heart-stopping...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$10.95 from Amazon »

Geez, even connect the dots sex looks complicated. There must be 200 numbers in each of these puzzles, and good luck trying to figure out what's lurking behind the connective ink lines before putting in the elbow grease. Unless...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
$2,565 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
$7.50 from Amazon »

I hear Pasta Boobs pair best with cream-based sauces. I hear Pasta Boobs should be cooked al dente if you want them to stay firm. I hear if you serve Pasta Boobs to kids under 3, they'll only gnaw on the tips. I hear...eh...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97 from Amazon »

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to...

Monday, September 5, 2011
$600 from Amazon »

Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian hats...

Thursday, September 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

This warplane ceiling fan reminds me that I hate ceiling fans. For two reasons. First, once they're on it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how many times I have to pull the GD cord to turn them off. Click. It's slowing, right?...

Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis of...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long and...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Roasting marshmallows and making s'mores over an open flame is such grand fun. At least until someone falls into the burning ring of fire and doesn't live to sing about it like Johnny Cash. Then it's kind of a downer. Avoid...

Friday, October 26, 2012
$17,500 - $19,500 from Tourneau »

Devon Timepieces has harnessed the raw, industrial, I-Love-Lucy technology of conveyor belts in their Time Belt series of watches. Each wicked, steampunky wrist ornament has a five-piece belt assembly mounted on a central...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
$1,196 from UD Replicas »

From the brilliant mind of Lucius Fox and "the copycats" at UD Replicas comes this faithful rendition of the bat suit as worn by Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Painstaking work with the original screen suits has gone into capturing...

Friday, November 30, 2012
$34.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send him some...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$139.99 from Amazon »

While RockBoard's Descender doesn't appear to be a wheeled vehicle suitable for the protruding roots and rocky drops of mountain bike trails, if its video is to be believed, it will serve as a smooth operator for anyone who...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$24.95 - $64.95 from Dan & Dave »

Each of the 54 cards in Dan & Dave's Ultimate Deck brandishes a unique piece of artwork courtesy of design agency Stranger & Stranger. And yes, most of them are macabre and vaguely disturbing like the Unicorn Head Mask and...

Monday, January 9, 2012
$16.95 from InstaMorph »

The next time you throw your hands to the sky and lament, "Argh! If only I had a doohickey with a flat lip on that end and a kind of hook-claw on the other that's small enough to fit in this slot here, and strong enough to...

Friday, January 6, 2012
$5 from Ravelry »

Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn you...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$45 - $250 from Morlock Enterprises »

Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the Fighting...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

When it comes to living things, are you more into cultivating them, or popping them in the jaw? Icelandic industrial designer Hafsteinn Juliusson's live grass knuckles are brilliantly executed wearable flora for the half of...

Monday, September 3, 2012

The Ole Smoky Moonshine family has honed the art of whiskey makin' since the early days of Smoky Mountain settlement. Distilling was a way to survive during hard times, both in terms of economics and, we presume, morale. After...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$123 - $134 from Black Milk Clothing »

I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed...

Monday, February 17, 2014
$10.36 from Amazon »

Stereotypically, they're awkward. Unathletic. Unpopular. Nasally. Know-it-alls who got no game. In reality, they run the world. And maybe a lot of the 21st century's geeks still do possess some of the qualities of those from...

Friday, March 22, 2013
By: Flickr

Whatever, I could make a Bilbo Baggins Bag End Bonsai. Or I could if I had the meticulous, exacting hands of a surgeon. But then I'd probably just be a surgeon because I bet it pays more than selling miniature Japanese trees....

Monday, December 24, 2012
$349.99 from Cat Wheel Company »

In a way I hate the idea of the Toy-Go-Round cat hamster wheel because really the only kinds of cats I like are the lazy fat ones that look as if they might go into cardiac arrest if they even stood up. But in another way...

Thursday, January 30, 2014
$12.09 from Amazon »

I kept searching for more at the end of the Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too book title. Some ellipses leading into a second line of ...if They Want to Die Alone on the Couch with the A-holes, Who Will Then Eat Their Owners' Raw...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$1.03 million from Porsche »

Porsche has entered the hybrid market with its 918 Spyder: progressive or a bunch of pomp and circumstance? I mean, sure, it's time for all car makers to contribute to the trek towards alternative vehicle fueling, but the...

Sunday, February 9, 2014
$57.95 from Amazon »

They term the type of massage RumbleRoller's Beastie Bar delivers "aggressive." I think you could also call it "penetrating," "effectively deep," and "more painful than a head-butt in the hamstring from a unicorn." Look at...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$228.99 from Amazon »

Hmmm, does my desire not to wash dishes by hand supersede my desire to microwave Hot Pockets? It's not even a rhetorical question. Even though SPT's countertop dishwasher says it will fit beneath most kitchen cabinetry, it's...

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$119.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for an oven I can carry around like a ladies' purse. And this one looks like the contraption my grandma used to use to get a suntan, so it even has some nostalgia built into it. Sunflair's portable solar...

Saturday, July 6, 2013
$18 - $72.60 from Society 6 »

Oh snap! It's imaginary ancient fantasy world meets the decades of excess and grunge. In a new line of Society 6 prints, graphic designer Mike, who sells under the name Moshi-Kun, gives your favorite Game of Thrones characters...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
$8.99 from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in it...

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Here's a fun accident waiting to happen. Sorry about Grandma's porcelain ash urn, Mama! It's so hard to find Skee Ball machines outside of Chuck E Cheese's anymore. I guess they don't have the same bar-game allure as pool...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$34.99 from Amazon »

Sick of hearing about the Zombie Apocalypse? Me too. I'm also sick of hearing about how pretty soon my mama's going to kick me out of her house and stop paying for my cell phone bill and all of my chips and cereal, thus forcing...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$6.17 from Amazon »

Oh hello Cthulhu. I almost didn't see you there before I turned on my flashlight. Well, technically LED underwater torch. TOMTOP made it 100% waterproof and effective at illuminating up to 25 meters of ocean pathway. It weighs...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$15.29 from Firebox.com »

Oh the C word. My friends Constantine, Bartholomew, and I all agree it's pretty much the worst in the English language. Definitely the most heinous mud you can sling at someone. Which makes this C U Next Tuesday, or UNT Mug...

Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is a tough...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$27.58 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Ways to maintain popularity and credibility over the course of 20 years in the music industry: 1) Keep making good music; 2) Wear badass LED costumes from the future. Mauricio Santoro pays homage to the Thomas half of the...

Sunday, March 9, 2014
$10 from Amazon »

That's right, kid. You wanna play Here Comes the Airplane, you pilot that aircraft yourself. I'm sick of contemporary society's unbridled pandering to children. They have two hands. Why can't they feed themselves? Put on their...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
$650 from Etsy »

I like the idea of the Force being with me, but I also like the idea of stuff. With one of these Star Wars rings I will still be able to envision and harness the power of an intangible Force, but, more importantly, I'll be...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$3,065 - $6,131 from Surface Tension »

Previously we witnessed the introduction of fine craftsman furniture to the old school Nintendo controller. Now we see tastefully worked walnut and oak incorporated into full-on coffee table arcades and PCs. Surface Tension...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011
$500 from Opulent Items »

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$100 from Amazon »

Blissful slumbering courtesy of a bed in the sky. It sounds like a dream come true. So you click...and view...and...it's a hammock. A thin, garbage bag-looking hammock too. This hammock has some explaining to do....

Monday, February 6, 2012
$3,920 from Real-f »

On a bad hair day, you might wear a wig. Now, on a bad face day, you can wear a REALFACE. REALFACE is a 3DPF--three-dimensional photo form--that elevates the powers of standard 3D printing, and combines them with 3D modeling....

Sunday, September 2, 2012
Discontinued

Antagonist. Necromancer. Lord of the Rings. SRG Armoury brings the darkness and malevolence of Tokien's Sauron to life in this custom-made Full Plate Armor Set. Constructed from 16 - 18 gauge mild steel, all suits are forged...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$25k - $35k from ideum »

Ideum's 55" Platform and Pro Touch Tables, carnivals of interactive media suitable for simultaneous use by up to 4 computing people, have just been walloped by the Hammer of Thor in the form of the company's newest advancement...