A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Saturday, October 13, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

I guess I can kind of see now why some people are turned on by goats. Oonacat's Demon Hooves, a pair of spiked, knee-high boots with cloven foot pads in place of typical toes and heels are pretty sick. I mean in the good way...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$99.49 from Amazon »

I've always thought how nice it would be to have a cool, consistent breeze blowing up my shorts. I'm actually in the process of developing my own take on Air Jordans, called Air Up There Jordans. They'll have a ring-shaped...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
$135 from Amazon »

When I was little they used to have one of these devices that makes your hair stand on end at an amazing and delightful place called The Magic House. My mama would sometimes take me there if I could go 8 days straight without peeing the bed. But only now am I learning that this wild and wacky tool is called a Van de Graaf generator, and that it garners its power from 200,000 volts of electricity....

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$77.70 from Connox »

I love BBQ and I hate bending over, so I guess I'd classify the Balcony Barbecue as a dream come true. Apartment dwellers and people with limited space can take advantage of the simple mountable grill that hangs at a perfect...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$125 - $1,699 from Kult »

Luke was never the apple of his daddy's eye, but thanks to fine artist Christian Waggoner, he will forevermore be the reflection in Vader's mask....

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here, a floating tablecloth. Though maybe technically less impressive for not manipulating magnetic fields to achieve its levitating effect like the Crealev lamp, the floating...

Sunday, August 25, 2013
$49.99 from NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

Saturday, December 14, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

In Star Wars: The Blueprints, "the meticulously researched text gives voice to the groundbreaking and brilliant engineers, designers, and artists that have, in film after film, created the most imaginative and iconic locales."...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

Even if I weren't a gambling man I would like the 50/50 Savings Bank because every day it would remind me of Plinko, my favorite Price Is Right game, and also Bob Barker, my favorite game show host and general hero of life....

Saturday, February 16, 2013
$35.89 - $40 from Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$15.99 from Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones with...

Friday, May 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Mark Ecko is doing everything he can to make Star Wars a leading name in high fashion. I just wish the items were priced in accordance with the bank accounts of Star Wars fans rather than those of Star Wars actors and directors....

Thursday, September 8, 2011
$6,500 from Opulent Items »

Fish are smart. Everyone knows this. A fake ceramic treasure chest and plastic plants get old after a few minutes. Enter the labyrinth. A veritable swimmer's amusement park for aquatic life, this will keep your smelly morsel...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$885 from Uggi Lights »

Talk about lighting that makes a statement, sets a mood, and shows up all your friends with bass, elk, and golden retriever taxidermy. Skinned cod fish, or Uggi, lights are the fantastical creations of Icelandic artists Dögg...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed and ready...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
Discontinued

Who goes anywhere without their phone? My guess is zero people. Who goes anywhere without a pocket knife, screwdriver, wrench, ruler, and bottle opener? My guess is a few more than zero people. Maybe even enough people to...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$11.99 from Amazon »

According to Soft Goat, "Scruffy is sexy!" And given that scruffy means unshaven and unshaven means me not having to partake in the laborious task of shaving every morning, it appears I have finally succeeded in my quest to...

Sunday, November 11, 2012
$21.66 - $77.10 from Amazon »

A swing and a miss no more. Not with 400 Lumens of LED light pouring from the tip of your baseball bat. Available in compact, but business-takin'-care-of 15-1/2", and say-goodbye-to-the-bones-in-your-face 23-1/2" models*...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$477 - $525 from bublcam »

What better way to prove you've got balls than to show 'em? That's the cue photography seems to be taking from projects such as the Panono and, here, the bublcam. A baseball-sized spherical camera, bublcam houses 4 equidistant...

Friday, November 29, 2013
$68 from Unikia »

Life hacking innovator Unikia adds the Stirio to its online showroom of tools that will expedite and elevate the filling of my belly. We previously saw the Compleat FoodSkin flexible lunchbox, a simple trick for keeping mile-high...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever craft...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013
$55 - $105 from Etsy »

Ladies, if you're wondering what dudes will say when you enter the room wearing a pair of Alanya Divine's custom-made silver elf ear cuffs, the answer is, "Yes, please." You like them for their craftily shaped argentium silver...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
Sold Out from ThinkGeek »

Snuggle up with God's ugliest creature. It's true. The blobfish wins all the Most Horrific Beast on the Planet contests, and as I've previously mentioned here, I think it might be my curse to be reincarnated as one. Legend...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
$425 from NONDesigns »

I saw lights like those emitted from the FLIP tactile luminaire last night. Many, many lights. Prismatic shards of color beaming above my head and through my jugular to the beat of mmmchuck, mmmchuck, mmmchuck. People kept...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$9.88 from Amazon »

One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to...

Monday, January 20, 2014
$19 from Amazon »

These are just the facts, dudes. Clinical reporting with complete objectivity. Nothing about how Smirnoff Whipped Cream vodka in a Shot Gun is a terrific way to break the ice with the ladies at a party. Nothing about the magnitude...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Chocolate Zombie Bunny is what happens when you make an April Fool's Joke that sends all the little zombies into a frenzy of Easter basket demands, and then off on a killing spree when they discover the punchline. That...

Thursday, June 13, 2013

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series of...

Saturday, March 29, 2014
$14.78 from Amazon »

Why are we assisting dogs with a task they are supposed to be genetically predisposed to handling themselves? Aren't their fur coats designed by Mother Nature to insulate them both with and against heat? Isn't panting their...

Monday, March 4, 2013
$4.99 from ThinkGeek »

The little bit of good news I have for you today is that we are only 16 days away from spring and 27 days away from Easter*, which means Peep eating season is upon us! Even better tidings for Minecraft die-hards: Marshmallow...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
$2,565 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's...

Sunday, August 11, 2013
$115 - $335 from Etsy »

Land shark! Or at least the scariest part of the shark now available to tear into human flesh on land. Dane Kealoha's shark tooth weapons style themselves after traditional blades and blunt implements with walloping power...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$179 - $279 from Vachen »

One watch, over a hundred different faces--interchangeable at the flick of a finger. Reminds me of this bipolar chick I used to date...I sure hope the Vachen Smartwatch doesn't come with an I'm-gonna-bludgeon-you-with-my-F'd...

Monday, September 5, 2011
$600 from Amazon »

Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian hats...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$48.99 from Amazon »

When I need to cut line or slice through nylon...or, more likely, since I don't really do outdoor activities or know how to safely wield a knife, when I need to expediently cleave open the box containing my new copy of Hyrule...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$10.95 from Amazon »

Geez, even connect the dots sex looks complicated. There must be 200 numbers in each of these puzzles, and good luck trying to figure out what's lurking behind the connective ink lines before putting in the elbow grease. Unless...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Double up on the fish & chips and nuggets with fries, or cook one big vat of extra crispy fried chicken with Secura's triple-basket deep fryer. The electric countertop model contains a 1700-watt immersion element said to preheat...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

When it comes to living things, are you more into cultivating them, or popping them in the jaw? Icelandic industrial designer Hafsteinn Juliusson's live grass knuckles are brilliantly executed wearable flora for the half of...

Friday, October 26, 2012
$17,500 - $19,500 from Tourneau »

Devon Timepieces has harnessed the raw, industrial, I-Love-Lucy technology of conveyor belts in their Time Belt series of watches. Each wicked, steampunky wrist ornament has a five-piece belt assembly mounted on a central...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
$1,196 from UD Replicas »

From the brilliant mind of Lucius Fox and "the copycats" at UD Replicas comes this faithful rendition of the bat suit as worn by Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Painstaking work with the original screen suits has gone into capturing...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$21.99 from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$11.99 - $19.99 from Ember »

Not that we should be rewarded for irresponsibly drinking to excess such that we need preventative steps to hangovers, but...Ember kind of rewards us for irresponsibly drinking to excess by way of serving as a preventative...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97 from Amazon »

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$123 - $134 from Black Milk Clothing »

I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed...

Monday, December 24, 2012
$349.99 from Cat Wheel Company »

In a way I hate the idea of the Toy-Go-Round cat hamster wheel because really the only kinds of cats I like are the lazy fat ones that look as if they might go into cardiac arrest if they even stood up. But in another way...

Monday, January 9, 2012
$16.95 from InstaMorph »

The next time you throw your hands to the sky and lament, "Argh! If only I had a doohickey with a flat lip on that end and a kind of hook-claw on the other that's small enough to fit in this slot here, and strong enough to...

Friday, January 6, 2012
$5 from Ravelry »

Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn you...

Thursday, April 3, 2014
$10.72 from Amazon »

All I have to say is Wookiee Cookies better just be a treat Wookiees love and not a treat Wookiees are...you know...baked into. I don't need Chewie ginger snaps describing anything but the texture of my favorite after-work...

Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis of...

Friday, November 30, 2012
$34.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send him some...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long and...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$24.95 - $64.95 from Dan & Dave »

Each of the 54 cards in Dan & Dave's Ultimate Deck brandishes a unique piece of artwork courtesy of design agency Stranger & Stranger. And yes, most of them are macabre and vaguely disturbing like the Unicorn Head Mask and...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$114.97 from Amazon »

While RockBoard's Descender doesn't appear to be a wheeled vehicle suitable for the protruding roots and rocky drops of mountain bike trails, if its video is to be believed, it will serve as a smooth operator for anyone who...

Monday, October 7, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Raul Souza's cleaver ring is what you use to threaten children who can't keep their hands to themselves when time out, grounding, and public humiliation cease to have an effect. Of course the ol' finger-sized-butcher's-knife-and-fake-blood...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$45 - $250 from Morlock Enterprises »

Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the Fighting...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014
$15.37 - $24.29 from Amazon »

If your 6-pack of Bud needs a wetsuit, BUILT has it covered. Their neoprene bottle totes in black and cops'll-never-see-it camo safely transport glass-housed beverages, plus keep them cool for up to 4 hours....

Monday, September 3, 2012

The Ole Smoky Moonshine family has honed the art of whiskey makin' since the early days of Smoky Mountain settlement. Distilling was a way to survive during hard times, both in terms of economics and, we presume, morale. After...

Thursday, September 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

This warplane ceiling fan reminds me that I hate ceiling fans. For two reasons. First, once they're on it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how many times I have to pull the GD cord to turn them off. Click. It's slowing, right?...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
$36.95 from BeerShorts »

Cold beers, cold thighs, elastic waist to accommodate the intake of fried things with your Buds and Coors, what more could you ask for in a pair of shorts? Beershorts' pair of built-in koozies not only eliminate the tedious...

Friday, March 22, 2013
By: Flickr

Whatever, I could make a Bilbo Baggins Bag End Bonsai. Or I could if I had the meticulous, exacting hands of a surgeon. But then I'd probably just be a surgeon because I bet it pays more than selling miniature Japanese trees....

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$800 from Etsy »

Talk about tying a room together. Etsy shop owner Allie, self-described hoarder and clearcut winner of Best Latch-Hooker on Earth*, spent over 220 hours immortalizing The Dude in dream sequence rug form. Urinate on this heart-stopping...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
$7.50 from Amazon »

I hear Pasta Boobs pair best with cream-based sauces. I hear Pasta Boobs should be cooked al dente if you want them to stay firm. I hear if you serve Pasta Boobs to kids under 3, they'll only gnaw on the tips. I hear...eh...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
$8.76 from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in it...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$1.03 million from Porsche »

Porsche has entered the hybrid market with its 918 Spyder: progressive or a bunch of pomp and circumstance? I mean, sure, it's time for all car makers to contribute to the trek towards alternative vehicle fueling, but the...

Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is a tough...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Roasting marshmallows and making s'mores over an open flame is such grand fun. At least until someone falls into the burning ring of fire and doesn't live to sing about it like Johnny Cash. Then it's kind of a downer. Avoid...