A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$32.79 from Firebox.com »

I know grizzly bears are meant to connote fortitude, ferocity, and...bigness...in a reverential way, but, uh, I'm pretty sure these grizzly bear underwear are intended only for dudes who don't want blowjobs. They could also...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014
$364.99 from Amazon »

While I generally approve of anything that makes manual labor less laborious for me, I am not too stoked to hear about GreenWorks' battery operated lawn mower's 70-minute runtime. 70 minutes?! Great. That means my mama's going...

Thursday, April 3, 2014
$7.19 from Amazon »

I question this Zipstrip's ability to zippily strip cilantro stalks, which is pretty much the only (culinary) herb I'm aware of that doesn't make me want to sneeze and vomit simultaneously, but if you like rosemary, thyme, or whatever else it is maker Chef'n considers a "woody, stemmed herb" then you will probably like the time and frustrating tediousness this pull-through leaf stripper wants to...

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$25.99 from Amazon »

To use the sundial ring, hold it upright to align one of its 3 reference lines straight up. Calibrate to your time zone by using the reference line corresponding to to your latitude (i.e., northern cities use a different line...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$1,799.95 from Amazon »

The Mojo UFO is a Jetsons/Back to the Future II/Doctor Who/impenetrable shelter from the zombie virus outbreak sort of tent. Made of virtually indestructible space-age textile Cuben Fiber, the 2-person Mojo condenses to a...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$129 from Amazon »

Know why I need a bulletproof clipboard? The same reason I need a tactical beer mug: so that I'm prepared the 1 in 1,000,000 times I need to go Jason Bourne in protecting and defending myself, and so that I'm prepared the 999,999 in 1,000,000 times I just need something righteous to hold my Bud Light Lime/drawings of unicorns eating baby back ribs. Also, once my friend Cornelius sees what I put...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$15 from Brando »

This USB lighter with a UV light for counterfeit bill detection should be a pretty sweet combo for drug dealers. Get handed a $100, see it's a fake on the spot, burn it to bits, kick the scammer's ass to next Tuesday, and...

Sunday, September 30, 2012
Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Monday, January 6, 2014
$60 from Sabrina Fossi »

Now when you say "ToastyMUG," Sabrina Fossi, do you really mean toasty? Like, warm and soul-soothing? Or do you actually mean scorching and my choice of second degree finger burns or dropping the mug and spilling its steaming...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$59.99 from Amazon »

According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy truffled...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Animal Chair collection constitutes a diverse range of species, from mammals to reptiles, and even including insects. Each creation retains the animal's natural vitality whilst being totally biological accurate in their...

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Longboard Stroller: the future of kids and mobility. The Longboard Stroller: because every kid deserves to eat pavement at the hands of a parent who didn't see the raised edge in the sidewalk. The Longboard Stroller: Naw...

Monday, April 21, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Yeah, MP3 speaker pillows are all fun and games until someone drowns their connected smartphone in a pool of drool and shorts it beyond repair. It's about time we got a Bluetooth upgrade to this otherwise swell advancement...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
$895 - $3,401 from Monkeylectric »

MonkeyLectric upgrades its previous version of Monkey Light LED madness for bicycle tires with Monkey Light Pro, an installation of customized, downloaded graphics and animations that turn two wheels into two tickets to vehicular...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Estonian sculptor Mati Karmin has been creating art for over 25 years, but his marine mine furniture and decor are perhaps his most breathtaking work to date, and indeed some of the most unique pieces you'll ever take out...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The glass-half-full perspective would admire and appreciate Charles Lushear's new collection of Batman tables as the tasteful approach to geekery that they are. The glass-half-empty perspective would hiss and gripe at DC Comics...

Monday, November 7, 2011
$22 from Shapeways »

Hey moms! Check it out... No more searching for that perfect stocking-stuffer for your teenage son. Customize these to say whatever it is you'd like... that's 5 characters or less. This is actually a pretty creative idea...

Friday, March 2, 2012
$345 from RcSuperhero »

A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the bars...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
$24.99 from Amazon »

This is what I'm dreaming of. Swimming pool season. Lazing in a water hammock. Hot blondes in little black bikinis. (The brunette in the little white one isn't bad either.) Over the hump of winter now, I can see it. All I...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$15 from LOTR Project »

Featuring characters from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, I'd say The Periodic Table of Middle Earth would rank very close to the top of a list of Geekiest Items a Human Being Could Own. (I specified human being because...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The desire to own an OHEA Super Bed transcends mere laziness because, I'm sorry, I don't care what kind of draught horse you are, making the bed is an enormous pain in the ass. Think of all the people who trip over themselves...

Bar
Thursday, November 21, 2013
$26 from Shapeways »

A bird in the hand is worth...nowhere near as much to me as a shot of Fireball in the hand. Birds are dirty and carry avian flu and salmonella. Even some of the cooked ones. Ahem, chicken. But hands. Hands are the poster child...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$30 from Lumi »

My brother used to screen print T-shirts. He made me one with a Charlie Brown-looking assembly of twigs and a lone ornament that said, Merry Christmas Plant a Tree. And another with Danielle Fishel's face that said, Topanga...

Saturday, December 8, 2012
$19.99 from CritSuccess »

I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$14.04 from Amazon »

In this case, I think that inserting an eyedropper as a serving utensil for One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce isn't more than just a kitschy packaging ploy. Reviews of the habanero- and scotch bonnet-infused mouth incinerator...

Monday, March 19, 2012
$8.42 from Amazon »

Kiddie classic Pat the Bunny has been zombified. Pat the Zombie is a morbid adult spoof on the revered literary tome that famously commands children to touch it, scratch it, sniff it, and put it in your mouth. Only this time...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
$18.25 from Amazon »

Unlike a BLT without the bacon or a stripper without the boobies, a jump rope without the rope might actually be an improvement upon the original. First of all, a lot of people are good at jumping up and down (yes, I'm definitely...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$26.55 from Amazon »

Sometimes an alarm just isn't enough. It's too easy to press snooze and get another 10 minutes in. Before you know it, you're late. Here's your solution....

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$77.70 from Connox »

I love BBQ and I hate bending over, so I guess I'd classify the Balcony Barbecue as a dream come true. Apartment dwellers and people with limited space can take advantage of the simple mountable grill that hangs at a perfect...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
$152.95 from Amazon »

A selfie in the hand is worth two on Instagram. Fujifilm's Instax Share SP-1 printer enables immediate and direct mobile printing. You want your mug on the break room fridge/dangling from your rearview mirror/sent over to...

Friday, January 20, 2012
$16.17 from Amazon »

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off like...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$99 - $125 from LifePrint »

For its price, particularly its Kickstarter price, the LifePrint seems pretty convenient and versatile. Its basic function as a WiFi photo printer for Apple and Android smartphones allows anyone with either a WiFi or 3G and...

Monday, March 31, 2014
$35.99 from Amazon »

One of the most popular specialty games of all time, the #2 bestselling board game on Amazon, an average 5 out of 5 stars in over 1,300 reviews, and I've never even heard of Ticket to Ride. Where have I been living, in the...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$71,633 from Switch Modern »

Really this couch is called the Aster Papposus Sofa, but who knows what the hell an aster papposus is? I can't even pronounce those words together, and have just resorted to reading them as Snuffleupagus. To whom the couch...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$899.99 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who still...

Saturday, February 11, 2012
$100 from iPatch »

Get ready to radioactivate your iPhone. British iPhone "enabler" iPatch is set to release a glow modification for the rear apple on iPhone 4S models within the month. That means incoming calls, texts, alarms, and other alerts...

Friday, May 4, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

What I want to know is, if my friend Gary uses brute muscular force to bounce one helium-and-compressed-air-filled Skyball to its peak height of 75 feet, and my other friend Mitch drops a second Skyball from a balcony 75 feet...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Although Agent BloodRayne used a similar arm blade to exterminate vampires, this non-digitized replica is made of stainless steel, not silver, so it will be of little assistance in your mission to annihilate Edward Cullen...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes sense....

Thursday, September 13, 2012
$3,500 from Peter Lynn Kites »

I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Discontinued

If this bed's a rocking then... it's probably a cool new rocking bed. The Mood Rocking Bed is an indoor / outdoor bed built inside of a cylinder shaped frame. It can be left to rock or freeze in any position with rubber stops....

Bar
Thursday, May 22, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

A manual contraption for slicing lemons and limes into perfect wedges that isn't my two hands may not be a groundbreaking addition to the world, but as a bar tool I'd pretty sure I'd use it at least as much as my shaker, and...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$700k from RaptorGTR »

The Mosler RaptorGTR compares itself to the Bugatti Veyron SuperSport and Lamborghini Aventador. But only to point out that, in terms of power-to-weight ratio, it is better than both of them. (Though in terms of marketing...

Saturday, October 13, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

I guess I can kind of see now why some people are turned on by goats. Oonacat's Demon Hooves, a pair of spiked, knee-high boots with cloven foot pads in place of typical toes and heels are pretty sick. I mean in the good way...

Monday, June 4, 2012
$149.99 - $399.99 from Simple.TV »

Simple.TV is the latest in the vicious volley of cable companies screwing us, and us screwing them right back. For those fed up and ready to disavow cable altogether...but bummed about not being able to watch Modern Family...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

Why is it that every photo I could find of this Comfort-U Total Body Pillow depicts a lady using it? Do men not want to experience the soothing, womb-like coziness of a giant stuffed parabola? Do we eschew the possibility...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$99 from Siva Cycle »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts to...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$44.99 from ThinkGeek »

Doctor Who's time-traveling spacecraft TARDIS has a new assignment: hold your soaps, shampoos, razors, and other grooming gear so they don't litter up or fall off the ledges of your shower. Despite the looks of it, the TARDIS...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that, when ingested, releases perfumed scents through its host's pores. So instead of spritzing dewy showers of juniper and orange blossom onto your body, you'll be able to sweat aromatic beads...

Thursday, February 2, 2012
$270 from Valyrian Steel »

Though it ultimately couldn't keep Ned Stark's head affixed to his body, the Valyrian steel sword Ice did serve his majesty of Winterfell well. And, should you be one of the lucky keepers of the North to grasp the formidable...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

You're still on your own for keeping yourself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb your buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every handyman and Daddy-O, the LadderLimb...

Friday, January 11, 2013
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're into swinging and threesomes, the Infinity Hammock...will do nothing to help your cause. Unless you're into the kind of swinging threesomes wherein each party has his or her own personal space amidst a cocoon of...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$45 from Etsy »

Panda bears have a notoriously low sex drive in captivity. Some of them don't even seem to know how to do it. Zookeepers must spend countless hours showing pandas bear porn and demo videos to light the fire below their bellies*....

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$885 from Uggi Lights »

Talk about lighting that makes a statement, sets a mood, and shows up all your friends with bass, elk, and golden retriever taxidermy. Skinned cod fish, or Uggi, lights are the fantastical creations of Icelandic artists Dögg...

Bar
Saturday, September 14, 2013
$171 from Etsy »

A set of 5 beer glasses, each of which has been crafted explicitly to cater to the nuances of a particular style of beer, is kind of pretentious and off-putting, right? But what if the set also came with a sense of self-awareness...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here...

Friday, May 24, 2013
$69 - $129 from Etsy »

In addition to offering a bunch of sick shades, sunglasses maker Kevin of Neon Nightlife also offers some suggestions on how best to use his eye-catching glowing designs. These include:...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Giveaway: Rhino Shield Screen Protectors 72
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of any 2 Rhino Shield impenetrable screen protectors, courtesy of Dude and Rhino Shield creators, Evolutive Labs (up to an $80 value). The Shields have been fabricated to fit and protect smartphones...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
$6,500 from Opulent Items »

Fish are smart. Everyone knows this. A fake ceramic treasure chest and plastic plants get old after a few minutes. Enter the labyrinth. A veritable swimmer's amusement park for aquatic life, this will keep your smelly morsel...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
$35.89 - $40 from Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$15.99 from Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones with...

Friday, July 12, 2013
$12.11 from Amazon »

Learn a different kind of quackery...um, I mean brain skill, with the Telekinetic Enhancer, a lightweight aluminum flyer thing that sits on a prong and lolls about in clockwise or counterclockwise circles when touched by the...

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$10.79 from Amazon »

Grow Glow Snow! It's not a request, it's an order, son! Get a bowl! Get some water! Watch it expand to 100 times its starting size, just like a diaper that's been pissed in*! And, if you're a real man, turn off the lights...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$435 from Hovding »

The Swedish Hovding has a lofty goal: un-dorkify bicycle helmets without compromising their ability to keep bicycle riders un-dead. With claims of being one of the market's safest helmets, Hovding trades in the foam-filled...

Sunday, November 11, 2012
$21.66 - $77.10 from Amazon »

A swing and a miss no more. Not with 400 Lumens of LED light pouring from the tip of your baseball bat. Available in compact, but business-takin'-care-of 15-1/2", and say-goodbye-to-the-bones-in-your-face 23-1/2" models*...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$89.99 from Quirky »

Modular. It's going to take tactical to the octagon for the title of Most Profitable Buzzword. Modular cell phones, modular pens, and now a modular pocket knife. Quirky Inventor James Robinson's Swift is Swiss Army gone piecemeal....

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...