A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, January 5, 2014
$15k from indiegogo »

Remember the Cocoon 1, a means for people to leave the bubble of their computer screens and living rooms, and enter a bubble plopped down in the middle of a park or the general admission area of the next Slipknot show? Now...

Tuesday, May 20, 2014
$999.11 from Amazon »

Why does Between the Lines: An Expert Level Coloring Book exist as a Kindle Edition? I mean, I don't really use much technology aside from my flip phone and Apple IIGS, but I feel like the appeal of a coloring book, particularly...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the iFlask. A polyethylene and polycarbonate liquor cradle disguised as a piece of Steve Jobs technological genius, the iFlask was born out of necessity. Necessity to eliminate...

Monday, August 25, 2014
$413.70 from Amazon »

Here's a fun James Bond toy for the everyday man. The DataLocker Enterprise has 1 TB of 256-bit encrypted portable storage, and is the first USB hard drive with FIPS 140-2 validation. It also spotlights one of spy movies'...

Friday, October 31, 2014
$249 from Atlas »

For Atlas, "next level" in smart wearables means more than tracking heart rates, counting calories, and noting that you have just walked 22 steps when you sit in front of the TV with a plate of fried chicken and shake it really...

Saturday, March 8, 2014

What we are looking at here is either a bit of a hyperbole or the wine version of that lady who tamed Helen Keller and taught her to communicate. It's called the Miracle Machine. It asserts itself as the world's first affordable winemaking device for the home. In addition, the Machine, a stylish fermentation chamber designed in the minimalist image of a wine bottle, will produce wine quickly, inexpensively...

Sunday, November 30, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Soothe sore muscles, melt away tension, and (ladies) enjoy some alone time with red wine and powerful jets. Conair's Dual Jet Bath Spa fancifies any bathtub into an underwater den of relaxation and personal gratification....

Sunday, October 20, 2013

What stands between you and the driver's seat of a precise, officially-licensed roadworthy replica of the 1966 Batmobile? One year and a few zeros, my friend. The most iconic of all the Dark Knight's transportation iterations...

Friday, August 10, 2012

It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From his...

Monday, April 8, 2013

Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen used to be the best scent on the planet but then they changed the formula and now it just smells like all other sickly sweet girl things that are acceptable only because they are attached to girls....

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$29.94 from Amazon »

I feel like Bas Rutten made a similar, but much sexier-looking version (uh, relatively speaking) of this Breathslim weight loss contraption. His O2 trainer gets a lot of impassioned feedback here, both from advocates and BS-callers...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$29.98 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mama), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Discontinued

Sealife Creations turns deceased jellyfish--the second most common creature on earth next to insects, they say--into handmade sculpted works of art for the desktop. Most of the oval encasements range from 4" to 7" tall and...

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$70.71 from Grand Illusions »

The trickery of prisms strikes again! Here two hunks of Dove plexiglass fit over a pair of glasses' eyepieces to invert all images the wearer sees. Reversing Goggles make for interesting school science experiments, as in the...

Monday, October 27, 2014
$59.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the 28-port MondoHub for $39 off its retail price! A limited time offer from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
$10.79 from Amazon »

Some dude at work gave me this Manual to Manhood malarkey. Like, he was under the impression that I don't know how to tie a tie or cook a steak or change my oil. Which is true, but I'm not sure why I'd waste my time reading...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$159 from Edyn »

Kid down the street who used to water my mama's flowers when she went out of town, you're fired. Don't worry, it's not that we're not downsizing or shipping your job overseas. We're just replacing you with a robot. Edyn, a...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Good news for men itching for superpowers but hesitant to accept the body-suctioning spandex--and in this case noxious spider bite--that often accompanies them. The Marvel Electronic Spidey-Sense T-Shirt grants a heightened...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$580 from NLO Moto »

NLO Moto, recently of Predator 2 and Dredator 3 motorcycle helmet fame, has popped out a third mythical beast to add to its alien headwear menagerie. While the Orc Dragon deviates from using a Schwarzenegger nemesis as its...

Monday, December 22, 2014
$9.75 from Unikia »

Sure you could use a knife to clean the caked dirt and gunk out of the crevices of your shoes. You could also use a knife to clean the caked dirt and gunk out from under your fingernails. But it's probably not the best idea....

Saturday, February 1, 2014
$79.99 from Amazon »

In many ways, this NOMIS Piggyback Rider for kids up to 7 years old! is a total crock. If I have to walk 18 blocks from where we parked to the PAX entrance, why should whiny little punk Treyton get to hitch a ride on his dad's...

Sunday, January 12, 2014
$222 from Sen.se »

I don't know about the name "Mother." This home and life sensor system's creators say they chose it because Mother takes care us. Our safety, our fitness. Our comfort and joy. She makes our lives "serene, healthy and pleasurable."...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$250 - $900 from Dog Powered Scooter »

Oh good, dog sledding is now available for suburbia in July. It's a Dog. Powered. Scooter. For canine exercise? Sure. To enhance mobility of the elderly? Sounds good. So that I can be the one guy in town who travels by a yoke...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hurricane Irene, meet your match. The air form concrete dome is a hurricane survivor. Not only does the dome's round shape allow the water to flow around it, much as the ocean rushes around a light house, its weight, strength...

Tuesday, February 3, 2015
$112 from The Orange Chef »

If you had a Prep Pad bumper sticker it would say, My food scale is an honor student. More than just showing how much the avocado weighs and flashing some pre-programmed nutritional information about a pound of pork loin...

Saturday, October 6, 2012

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Nice. A condom to carry my message to all the unborn children in the world. Attention would-be zygotes! I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER!...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.95 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off and flying...

Thursday, August 21, 2014
$39.99 - $122.85 from Amazon »

While SteelBell creator Hyperwear also makes neoprene SandBells, these steel shot-filled versions of the free weights are about half the size of and, some say, twice as dynamic as their counterparts. Available as individual...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
$9.16 from Amazon »

Now that I've learned How to Poo at Work, plus How to Pee with Morning Wood, it's time I overcome my next, and perhaps my greatest, hurdle in life: How to Poo on a Date. How do I poo on a date? I've often wondered. Obviously...

Thursday, October 2, 2014
$10 - $19.50 from Stark Raving Cat »

Legal in all 50 states! Though I'm pretty sure Catnip Joints are the inverse of marijuana joints. In the sense that all the cats I've ever seen lie around and sleep all day, pausing only to look at you with complete disinterest...

Thursday, October 30, 2014
$24.95 - $44.95 from Etsy »

Ear plugs make me a little queasy. Even those fitted with a painted acrylic AT-AT. Though if you're going to stretch a 1" hole in the middle of your earlobe, it would probably be my #1 choice of things to fill it with. Followed...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
$79 - $299 from Kickstarter »

Apple loves their proprietary ports more than a back alley hooker loves crack. And while iStick can't put an end to this affinity, it can make it easier for those of us with iPhones, iPads, and iPod Touches to deal with. With...

Sunday, November 2, 2014
$14.40 from Amazon »

Now that Breaking Bad is over it's time to cook up your own meth...cupcakes. Or, I don't know, maybe it's just blue food coloring in the mix and rock candy on top. Whatever, fans of the show going through Walter White withdrawal--and...

Thursday, April 17, 2014
$1,199 - $1,699 from Etsy »

Even if I weren't the Laziest Man Alive I could get down with a king-size mattress hoisted atop a solid wood porch swing bed. Swaying supine in the June breeze, dozing and drooling, sipping 7 & 7 Big Gulps...ahhh, it's the...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
$15.80 - $23.37 from Amazon »

Rabbit with Long Ear is by far the most profound book I've read...ever. In 0 words and less than 5 seconds it provides a stirring and stark look into the life of a creature cursed with inordinately long lobes who refuses to...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$99.99 from Brookstone »

The Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard is cool, but palm-sized? Come on, technology, you can do better than that. Let me see thumb-sized. Let me see belly button-sized. Let me see...oh, you have thumb-sized now? A Keychain Laser...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
$49 - $99 from Pilot Study »

Grab your totem, but be forewarned: Inceptor the board game has as many layers as the Inception film it stemmed from. If you play it in subdued lighting with Hans Zimmer's soundtrack blaring through some surround-sound speakers...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Water resistance and suction cups join forces to create this rechargeable Bluetooth Shower Speaker, and Dude Exclusives and frugality join forces to offer it to you for $39, 60% off retail, for a limited time!...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$3,999.99 from Etsy »

The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it....

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Saturday, November 22, 2014
$67.10 from Amazon »

Cold as ice...and watered down as George Carlin doing standup at Sunday Mass. Not the best combination when you're serving and drinking beverages. The BrewTender is an 80-ounce drink dispenser sized for the tabletop and fitted...

Tuesday, January 6, 2015
$89 - $99 from indiegogo »

Breathometer's first foray into the world of oral off-gassing came in the form of a breathalyzer users can plug into their smartphone's audio jack, give a big blow, and get an instant blood alcohol content readout. Now with...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$500 from Huzza »

A carbon fiber handle holsters 120 layers of Swedish rose stainless damascus steel in this folding pocket knife fit for a pretty, pretty princess, or a male with extraordinarily refined and luxurious tastes. Like myself....

Thursday, August 21, 2014
$229 - $499 from Revolights »

Revolights, a wheel-mounted bicycle headlight and taillight system, equip cyclists with wheels that provide true 360-degree visibility, plus an integrated brake light indicator. The Kickstarted company's current model, Revolights...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$211.64 from Amazon »

This is the time of year that we gather up all the crap we got for Christmas and return it/sell it on Craig's List so we can use the money to buy the stuff we really want. Like the Vault Edition of Book of Sith: Secrets from...

Friday, January 13, 2012
$75 from Etsy »

Every groom-to-be gets cold feet at some point, and this zombie wedding cake topper brilliantly summarizes both the worst and best case scenarios that could play out when that happens. Worst Case Scenario: Your feet are so...

Friday, December 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Even if you've never seen John Cleese perform the Monty Python skit leading to the creation of this terrific Ministry of Silly Walks watch--since I happen to be younger than my mama, I for one haven't--you can probably appreciate...

Tuesday, September 9, 2014
$6,495 - $8,775 from Schiller »

I used to see this dude pedaling around a lake near where I live on a water bike. He always had his Westie dog with him, riding in a milk crate attached to the front. Like a Bizarro World Dorothy and Toto. I don't think his...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012
$13.50 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black-and-solar-system-speckled...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$4,500 from Ebay »

Maker International VentureCraft Corp. describes the One-Person SportSub Solo as a "yacht toy." That can't be a good sign of its retail price. Another bad omen: their Website lists no costs for the submarines themselves, but...

Thursday, July 17, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

As if cats, and particularly cats that have been lit on fire, aren't scary enough. Now Thorunn Arnadottir had to go and make one that also slowly melts down to a sinister skeleton as the flames eat away its flesh. I don't...

Sunday, December 15, 2013
$35.95 from Amazon »

Skypanels are intended to make places such as waiting rooms and hospitals and dentists' chairs and baby nurseries less awful than they inherently are by covering harsh fluorescent lights and diffusing their searing output...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$994.95 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in my...

Sunday, April 14, 2013
$0.92 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves...

Friday, April 18, 2014
$15 from Amazon »

One thing I've never owned is an iron. Not that I'm complaining or consider myself deprived. Owning an iron would probably just make me feel guilty about owning an iron and never using it. I mean, my clothes look great straight...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Tuesday, September 16, 2014
$28.99 - $29.50 from Amazon »

One nice thing about the FlipBelt is that it doesn't appear to make you look like you're wearing a fanny pack or running to burn off that spare tire encircling your gut region. Slim, comfortable, and sturdy, the storage belt's...

Friday, February 27, 2015
$44.99 from Amazon »

Everyone talks about mold causing allergies and lung problems and, like, mental illness, but I just think it's gross. If I want fungus growing alongside my bed or watching TV with me, I'll get a Mushroom Log and at least make...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$5 - $95 from Fiverr »

For as little as $5, Uruguayan artist Eliana Fernandez will send you a glimpse of yourself inside some of TV's most popular animated series. Kick off the return of The Simpsons and Family Guy, or bid farewell to Futurama with...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
Discontinued

Superheros and their nemeses covering the keys of my MacBook? Yahtzee! I mean, Shazam! Never before did I realize how boring and uninspired a black-and-white keyboard really is. Thank you, superhero skin genius Killer Duck...

Friday, October 3, 2014
$219.78 from Amazon »

A pack of Toastabags, a Quik-Serve conveyor toaster, a couple loaves of bread, a couple pounds of cheese...huh. I might not starve to death when my mama goes out of town next week after all....

Wednesday, January 21, 2015
$25 from Etsy »

"Batman, what did your parents get you for Christ-" "WHACK! My parents are DEEEAAAAAAD you sniveling little sidekick!"...