A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, April 13, 2012
$850 - $1,500 from Etsy »

It's Friday the 13th. Do you feel the eeriness? The rumblings of misfortune and chaos? Look outside. Is there something strange in your neighborhood? Anything weird that don't look good? Well forget about the phone. There's...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$7.16 from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$34 from Epic »

I know what you're thinking: that is a slab of jerky with the inexplicable addition of dried fruit and a fancy wrapper. And I say, yeah, OK. That's one way to look at Epic grass-fed meat bars. But having tried the Bison Bacon & Cranberry flavor myself--when I was in New Orleans this nice young lady noticed me staring at hers, and gave me a bite in exchange for my word that I would go away and stop...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012
$140 from Armourgeddon »

Who wants to come out and play with me, my paintball guns, and my colossal FV432 Armored Personnel Carrier? Armourgeddon, based out of Leicestershire, England (sorry, US of A) hosts extreme paintball experiences headlined...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
$38.59 from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought...

Monday, August 20, 2012
Discontinued

David Vigil of Vigilante Leather (oh, the fortuity some people have with their given names!) has hand tooled a replica of Nathan Drake's leather gun holster from Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception that not only looks as dope and primed for TCB as the video game version, but has also been waterproofed and stress tested to sustain similar punishments of impact and wear. Not that we recommend getting...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$48.95 from Etsy »

Well I know which of Geekify's Game of Thrones eReader cases I wouldn't want: House Stark. Jon Snow may be the only literal illegitimate child of the Winterfell clan, but I feel like that whole family is some poooooor bastards....

Wednesday, December 7, 2011
By: GNR 8

Natural sunlight is overrated, but slatted blinds and electroluminescent lighting are even more badass than their hype. Cash in on coolness, and brighten up your basement apartment or 10 x 15 cubicle with this simulated window....

Sunday, January 6, 2013
$4.95 from Trongs »

Obviously I like eating with my hands. It goes with the territory of being a man. Buuut...I really hate when BBQ and Buffalo wing sauce get under my fingernails and into the cuts I have from doing manly things with my hands...

Saturday, September 7, 2013

It's the double helix of your literary life. And remember, there's a 50/50 chance its contents will get passed down to your kids, so maybe try filling it with something other than comic books, porn, and smooth jazz, 'ey?...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013
$39.99 from Mommysentials »

The Baby Hanger. A design so utilitarian, yet so uproariously hilarious, that I almost want to acquire an infant just so that I can hook it on a bathroom stall. Check out the gaping mouth and dangling legs on that kid. He...

Saturday, August 3, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I'd imagine a concern for all parents, but particularly male parents, is having a baby and then accidentally dropping it. Or tucking it snoozing in its carrier under the table at the bar so it will be out of the way, and then...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Saturday, December 15, 2012
$179.99 from Amazon »

After that Outkast song came out about shaking it like a Polaroid picture, Polaroid had to issue an official press release advising its customers not to shake the photos at the risk of compromising their quality. Fun story...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$2,299.99 from Entertainment Earth »

My life-size Iron Man statue needs a buddy. Or a nemesis so I can choreograph elaborate sparring bouts for the two of them in my head. Or how about Tony Stark can be my super-ego and this 6' tall stormtrooper my id, and together...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
$31.19 from Amazon »

Will you name the fire breather coiled around your ear Viserion, Rhaegal, or Drogon? Add a little Daenerys Targaryen to your wardrobe with a menacing, yet somehow cuddly-loooking Dragon Wrap Earring. Its tail extends through...

Friday, February 8, 2013

And I don't mean the kind of airplane trunk Auntie Heloise carries when she travels. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk, an all-inclusive, roller work station, is quilted in polished aluminum panels held together with exposed steel...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Discontinued

If I were a normal 16 year old 8 year old out trick or treating and I walked up to a door and this thing started moving, I might crap my drawers.... and I haven't done that since college. Checkout the video on the product...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the month...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Although I always say that one of my favorite things to do is sit on my ass, photographic evidence here suggests that Nina Havermans' SHAY work-out stool is going to necessitate my refinement and qualification of that statement....

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline. Maybe so, Ron, but might I remind you what the studies show?...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$59.98 from Amazon »

Here's a blast from Halloween past. And not just OG, circa 1978 Michael Meyers, OG 2.0, circa 1998 Michael Meyers too. Remember when they released the Halloween H20 remake to celebrate the series' 20th anniversary? And Jamie...

Sunday, April 15, 2012
$7,950 from Etsy »

Ready, aim...fire up the grill! What kind of meat are you packin'? BBQ with a bang. Ribs that will knock 'em dead. Your shot at culinary perfection. A stallion in the bedroom, a Colt .45 on the grill. Anyone else? Contributions...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
$79.23 from Amazon »

It was a tough call which of the Perfect 10 happy families splashing around in the Intex Easy Set Pool to pick as the product's featured photo, but I ultimately decided the blonde MILF in the winning shot was a better representative...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...

Monday, September 9, 2013
$99 - $199 from Kapture »

Kapture could easily both save and ruin my life. Because the snazzy wristband doesn't just record voices and conversations, it records them all the time. It runs continuously, collecting audio in 60-second buffered loops...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wedding cakes have been topped with zombies. Video game junkies. Your own face. But have you ever seen one topped with an infinite web of sugar spun in 3 out of 3 dimensions? The Sugar Lab will custom make 3D printed sugar...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$199 from Griz Coat »

Griz Coat, fast becoming the Mercedes of mammalian outerwear, is prepping to release their fourth installment, the Panda Coat. Bulbous bear head, luxurious full-length faux fur body, you know what sartorial delicacy you're...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013
$69.95 from Etsy »

Default setting during Settlers of Catan play is already shaking my fist while bellowing a battle cry. Sometimes of conquer. Sometimes of defeat. Funny how those sounds and gestures have global emotional applications. Anyway...

Monday, November 5, 2012
By: Youtube

Electrical engineer Brian Egenriether designed a machine to sort Skittles so that I can have all the red ones, and no one ever has to eat the disgusting green ones again. While Skittles umbrella corporation, Mars, Inc., has...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Monday, September 2, 2013
$32 from Best Made »

This is a nice cup. It's sturdy--steel coated with enamel, double-thick on the handle and rim to defray those areas' proportionately high use and abuse. Also it has "Steadfast" and "Best Made" stamped in large letters all...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011
$40.19 from Firebox.com »

Twenty four cans of Homer's favorite pastime will have you snoring in your La-Z-Boy before midnight. These aren't just cans that say Duff Beer on them with soda inside either. They have actual alcohol in them. German lager...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not yet...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Good news, Ralphie Parker. The whole point of the Mace Pepper Gun is to shoot an eye out. Using patented Bag-in-a-Can technology--ooh, that sounds...the opposite of intimidating--the pistol's system enables loaded cartridges...

Saturday, October 26, 2013
$69.99 - $72.99 from Amazon »

It's not quite as cool as toting a real Proton pack, and infinitely less cool than being the real Peter Venkman, but this Ghostbusters printed Venkman jacket is still better than a tan Russell Athletic zip-up from Target...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012
$84.95 from TAT7 »

The iPhone SCUBA Case: Impenetrable like your psyche, yet accessible like your heart. TAT7 has developed this bruiser of an outer shell to protect iPhone 4/4S models to a dive depth of 100 feet, while allowing user access...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The complete evolutionary tree of the video game controller, tracking 82 species and 9 genera over four decades. Printed in rich indigo ink. My favorite is still the Intellivision controller which was basically a phone dialpad...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$24 from Wine Folly »

Wine Folly has released this quasi-satirical, though largely legit and helpful, infographic to assist self-conscious or indecisive wine buyers in the selection of the perfect bottle to bring, serve, or guzzle down solo while...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$27.50 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you for your...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Discontinued

If you have $75 and the desire to slice 10" of carbon fiber through the air, Tyler Seamons has an official flying saucer of summertime for you. Pending successful project funding on Kickstarter, his frisbee and golf-style...

Monday, May 21, 2012
$24.95 from No Starch Press »

LEGO Heavy Weapons, a guide to transforming the iconic building blocks into equally iconic firearms, is author Jack Streat's debut book. Just prior to its publication, he worked full-time at Algebra 2, driver's ed, and asking...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013
$20 from Etsy »

Looks like we're gonna have a grotesque perversion of the fuzzy, frolicky, happy animals emblematic of every major holiday now. First Phillip Blackman took on Valentine's Day with his Undead Teds, and here Undead Ed tackles...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Discontinued

Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means...

Sunday, June 30, 2013
$59.95 from myType »

I'll tell you one thing I like is buttons. This touch screen crapola, even when it's all cool and laser virtual keyboard-y and keychain-sized, is unacceptable to my manly and powerful hands. They just do not like typing on...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$38 - $44 from Amazon »

Here are some giant squishy beasts--Squishables, officially--fashioned after the likes of the Narwhal, T-Rex, Yeti, Cthulhu, Polar Bear, and Android mascot. I know you don't want one. But look: they appear to make ladies happy....

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$29.50 from Amazon »

An easily-assembled pumpkin tap for your easily-chugged pumpkin beers. In order of tastiness, according to Boston.com, those would be:...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

You know the opening scene in Spaceballs when they pan along that massive ship and you kind of start to wonder when a bomb or Jaws is gonna hit, but then the camera jumps to Rick Moranis in an oversized Darth Vader costume...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

I wonder if they ship it packed in porcelain. Though an official nod to Dude, Where's My Car? UFO cultists and their leader, Zoltan, the Bubble Wrap Suit really transcends circa 2000 stoner flick pigeon holes in its practicality...

Monday, February 6, 2012
$129 from BioLite Stove »

No gas, no juice, no problem. Reserve BioLite's petrochemical-free CampStove and USB device charger now, and be burning hot with full battery power in time for the 2012 season of backpacking, camping, and chillin' hermit-like...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$9.99 from Amazon »

I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled...

Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Maker Archie McPhee says, "No one can be angry at you while you're wearing this latex Pug Mask." I don't know whether to scoff at and rebuttal that or just swallow the couple tablespoons of vomit the statement made me throw...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$220 from Etsy »

Yoda pipe? Yes, I'll take one. I will also take one six-piece Chicken McNugget, a dozen Doritos Locos tacos, a deep dish pepperoni pizza with extra sauce, and three large Oreo Mint Blizzards. Thank you, and Happy 4/20....

Wednesday, July 25, 2012
$37.95 from Amazon »

Father-son lightsaber battles over Kung Pao chicken are about to get the LED treatment. Original lightsaber chopstick fabricator Kotobukiya continues its journey through their Galactic Republic of Replica Awesomeness with...

Monday, June 10, 2013
$79.95 from WickedLasers.com »

For the times you'd rather use the World's Most Powerful Laser to shed light on a situation instead of to incinerate its components, Wicked Lasers' Phosforce flashlight adapter for their Arctic 1W handheld laser pointer will...

Saturday, May 5, 2012
$160,060 from Arrinera Automotive »

In the grand tradition of comparing cars to women, the Arrinera supercar is like your mom. Dynamic, powerful, programmed to watch your back, classy with very expensive tastes, but...sorry...still available for purchase and...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Discontinued

Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$12 - $39 from CRL Products »

Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types: Aluminum;...

Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Friday, February 10, 2012
$3,499 from LifeGem »

From ashes to ashes...to bedazzled ashes. Gone are the days of keeping the deceased in our hearts. In their place? Keeping the deceased around our fingers, atop our wrists, or dangling from our necks. LifeGem diamonds are...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$15.96 from Amazon »

If we were to step into reality for a brief moment, I guess we would concur that the opportunity to apply combat marksmanship and self-defense training to an encounter with an actual zombie is probably never going to arise....

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$59 from Nap Anywhere »

Oh boy, and I think the NapAnywhere pillow looks just enough like a neck brace that I can convince suspicious parties I need it for medical reasons. Let me tell you some things I do not enjoy that will maybe become bearable...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on the creation...

Thursday, December 15, 2011
$27.19 from Amazon »

Holy shit, I'm feeling epically perplexused just looking at this gnarled sphere of chaos. And that's not even the interactive fun part. Inside the visual affront is a little steel ball, which must be wound around the structure's...

Monday, July 22, 2013
$8.49 from Amazon »

Previously, I didn't think it was possible for Luke to sound like any more of a dipshit when he spoke, but I bet throwing in some iambic pentameter will prove me wrong. Adoring fans, get your bookshelves and e-readers ready....

Thursday, January 24, 2013
$8 from Ruffbowl »

Before delving into RuffBowl specifics, I will share some fun facts about the French. Parisians love their dogs. The ratio of dogs to people in that city is 1:7. But they don't love cleaning up after their dogs. In fact, the...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$499.94 from Amazon »

At this point we all know that if I have the opportunity to circumvent or finagle my way out of manual labor, everyone better settle in for a sweeping display of circumventing and finagling. So the news that setup of Kelty's...