A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, January 20, 2012
$18.29 from Amazon »

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off like...

Saturday, December 8, 2012
$19.99 from CritSuccess »

I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$19.95 from Amazon »

Everyone knows that pigs don't sweat. But if they did, they would smell like Power Bacon. And now too so can you. Just be sure to apply the deodorant with caution. Because while obviously nothing attracts the favor of a lady like the succulent scent of sizzling swine, the same aroma exposed to the public will also likely draw in every hound dog, raccoon, rogue sewer gator, and Fatty McFatterson...

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Longboard Stroller: the future of kids and mobility. The Longboard Stroller: because every kid deserves to eat pavement at the hands of a parent who didn't see the raised edge in the sidewalk. The Longboard Stroller: Naw...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

I decided to spotlight the Darth Vader bathrobe because this morning I got an email from someone named Anastasia Kryzinski entitled, "What Does Your Love Python Need?" I thought it was the best email I ever received, and I...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014
$37.95 from Amazon »

I don't know. I feel like if Salvador Dali had actually fashioned a watch in his likeness, the trademark handlebar mustache would have extended into a horse femur on one end and had, like, a Boeing 747 tethered to the other. And the random ant between 10 and 11 o'clock? Would have been a swarming nest of carpenters. And the watch face would definitely be melting. So as a Salvador Dali watch, this...

Saturday, October 13, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

I guess I can kind of see now why some people are turned on by goats. Oonacat's Demon Hooves, a pair of spiked, knee-high boots with cloven foot pads in place of typical toes and heels are pretty sick. I mean in the good way...

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I don't know too much about Lexington, Kentucky. Well, really I don't know anything about Lexington, Kentucky except that beginning Spring 2014 it will be #1 on my list of vacation destinations. In Spring 2014 Ninjas, an indoor...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Discontinued

If this bed's a rocking then... it's probably a cool new rocking bed. The Mood Rocking Bed is an indoor / outdoor bed built inside of a cylinder shaped frame. It can be left to rock or freeze in any position with rubber stops....

Saturday, April 19, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

As if it weren't amazing enough that there are paper towels so strong that a single quilted sheet can mop up an entire glass of spilt milk someone's crying over. Now these paper towels' holders can charge up to 4 of my smartphones...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Although Agent BloodRayne used a similar arm blade to exterminate vampires, this non-digitized replica is made of stainless steel, not silver, so it will be of little assistance in your mission to annihilate Edward Cullen...

Thursday, September 13, 2012
$3,500 from Peter Lynn Kites »

I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long...

Friday, May 4, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

What I want to know is, if my friend Gary uses brute muscular force to bounce one helium-and-compressed-air-filled Skyball to its peak height of 75 feet, and my other friend Mitch drops a second Skyball from a balcony 75 feet...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$15 from LOTR Project »

Featuring characters from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, I'd say The Periodic Table of Middle Earth would rank very close to the top of a list of Geekiest Items a Human Being Could Own. (I specified human being because...

Sunday, December 8, 2013
$64.99 from Amazon »

What?! A snow-melting stair mat? And a baby demonstrating its use?! But the best part of accumulated Mother Nature dandruff is watching little kids wipe out trying to navigate through it! I do feel bad for old people when...

Saturday, February 11, 2012
$100 from iPatch »

Get ready to radioactivate your iPhone. British iPhone "enabler" iPatch is set to release a glow modification for the rear apple on iPhone 4S models within the month. That means incoming calls, texts, alarms, and other alerts...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$78 - $298 from 400oz »

Though these skull stands from Detroit-based 400oz. are made only of high grade resin, they sure get the wheels turning, don't they? Like, why not preserve Uncle Joe's memory by converting him into something more useful than...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$15 from Brando »

This USB lighter with a UV light for counterfeit bill detection should be a pretty sweet combo for drug dealers. Get handed a $100, see it's a fake on the spot, burn it to bits, kick the scammer's ass to next Tuesday, and...

Thursday, February 2, 2012
$270 from Valyrian Steel »

Though it ultimately couldn't keep Ned Stark's head affixed to his body, the Valyrian steel sword Ice did serve his majesty of Winterfell well. And, should you be one of the lucky keepers of the North to grasp the formidable...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$700k from RaptorGTR »

The Mosler RaptorGTR compares itself to the Bugatti Veyron SuperSport and Lamborghini Aventador. But only to point out that, in terms of power-to-weight ratio, it is better than both of them. (Though in terms of marketing...

Friday, April 25, 2014
$24.66 from Amazon »

Since it's difficult for me even to pour a bowl of cereal without making a mess I'm not sure how much of a difference in cleanliness Clongs will make in my life, but I do appreciate their intent and nifty V-dip. And with grilling...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$129 from Amazon »

Know why I need a bulletproof clipboard? The same reason I need a tactical beer mug: so that I'm prepared the 1 in 1,000,000 times I need to go Jason Bourne in protecting and defending myself, and so that I'm prepared the...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that, when ingested, releases perfumed scents through its host's pores. So instead of spritzing dewy showers of juniper and orange blossom onto your body, you'll be able to sweat aromatic beads...

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$25.99 from Amazon »

To use the sundial ring, hold it upright to align one of its 3 reference lines straight up. Calibrate to your time zone by using the reference line corresponding to to your latitude (i.e., northern cities use a different line...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$885 from Uggi Lights »

Talk about lighting that makes a statement, sets a mood, and shows up all your friends with bass, elk, and golden retriever taxidermy. Skinned cod fish, or Uggi, lights are the fantastical creations of Icelandic artists Dögg...

Monday, June 4, 2012
$149.99 - $399.99 from Simple.TV »

Simple.TV is the latest in the vicious volley of cable companies screwing us, and us screwing them right back. For those fed up and ready to disavow cable altogether...but bummed about not being able to watch Modern Family...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
$18.25 from Amazon »

Unlike a BLT without the bacon or a stripper without the boobies, a jump rope without the rope might actually be an improvement upon the original. First of all, a lot of people are good at jumping up and down (yes, I'm definitely...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$32.79 from Firebox.com »

I know grizzly bears are meant to connote fortitude, ferocity, and...bigness...in a reverential way, but, uh, I'm pretty sure these grizzly bear underwear are intended only for dudes who don't want blowjobs. They could also...

Bar
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
$12.99 from Uncommon Goods »

Ahhh, the marriage of bottle opener and beer glass. We have reached the pinnacle of efficiency and consolidation. Nothing left to do now but go home. And pop the top off a cold one....

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$30 from Lumi »

My brother used to screen print T-shirts. He made me one with a Charlie Brown-looking assembly of twigs and a lone ornament that said, Merry Christmas Plant a Tree. And another with Danielle Fishel's face that said, Topanga...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$899.99 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who still...

Thursday, January 30, 2014
$10.99 from Amazon »

My ad campaign for this product would be Paleo Wraps: they definitely taste way better than paper. To say the coconut carb substitutes are delicious, or even good, is tough though. They're not bad. And they're not tasteless....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

When it comes to living things, are you more into cultivating them, or popping them in the jaw? Icelandic industrial designer Hafsteinn Juliusson's live grass knuckles are brilliantly executed wearable flora for the half of...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$71,633 from Switch Modern »

Really this couch is called the Aster Papposus Sofa, but who knows what the hell an aster papposus is? I can't even pronounce those words together, and have just resorted to reading them as Snuffleupagus. To whom the couch...

Saturday, January 18, 2014
$99.99 from Amazon »

Exergaming isn't new to the scene. From as far back as the NES Power Pad for track events to modern day fitness programs on the Wii and Kinect for jumping around with digital Shaun Ts, someone is always trying to slap masks...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014
$12.99 from ThinkGeek »

Raaaaaahhgh huuguughghg! Yeah, Chewie, I know. I'm hungry too. So stop hogging my lunch. Open up! Let's see what delectable afternoon satiations my mama packed beyond your furry Wookiee zip-up flap today. Awww yeah. Little...

Thursday, May 15, 2014
Discontinued

And the Minifig even looks exactly like Sigourney Weaver! OK, as much as I wanted the life-size Caterpillar Power Loader Dustin Kiska made, I find Ichiban Toys' LEGO version just as enticing and commendable in execution. Plus...

Thursday, July 3, 2014
$16.99 from Amazon »

What better way to show little Johnny how much longer he has to play the handheld gaming device that's defining his childhood than with the handheld gaming device that defined yours? Alright, squirt, I'm setting the timer...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$10.66 from Amazon »

In this case, I think that inserting an eyedropper as a serving utensil for One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce isn't more than just a kitschy packaging ploy. Reviews of the habanero- and scotch bonnet-infused mouth incinerator...

Friday, January 11, 2013
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$99 from Siva Cycle »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts to...

Monday, July 7, 2014
$39.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

One reason the iMaze Fitness heart rate strap and Bluetooth-connected smartphone app are better than all the other fitness trackers in the land is that the iMaze system will monitor and record the minutiae of your athletic...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
$6,500 from Opulent Items »

Fish are smart. Everyone knows this. A fake ceramic treasure chest and plastic plants get old after a few minutes. Enter the labyrinth. A veritable swimmer's amusement park for aquatic life, this will keep your smelly morsel...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$151.18 from Amazon »

It's pretty simple: your valuables; your safe; your fingerprint. BARSKA's biometric guardian of cash, firearms, last wills and testaments, and treasures you stole from Smaug allows keyless access only to those with the correct...

Thursday, December 26, 2013

What's better than filling a water bottle with water? Filling a water bottle with beer! And what's better than filling a water bottle with beer? Inserting an entire bottle of beer into the water bottle! Wait...do what? Why...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here...

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$80 from Snurk »

Not much of a lake snoozer? How about sleeping in a swimming pool? Snurk's pool bedsheets add a second option to spending the night enveloped in a large body of water without drowning. Fun! Trippy! Still horrendously scary...

Sunday, February 9, 2014
$90.99 from Amazon »

One Bounty Hunter metal detector packed and ready to head to Ft. Lauderdale with me next week. I plan to use the gold teeth I find to fund a down payment on the Bitcoin mining operation I'm working on setting up in Detroit....

Monday, January 27, 2014
$36.49 from Amazon »

When my friend Cornelius pulls his breaded raviolis out of the deep fryer on Sunday I am going to recommend he season them with a click quarter teaspoon of oregano and a click, click half teaspoon of basil from my auto-measure...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$15.99 from Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones with...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're into swinging and threesomes, the Infinity Hammock...will do nothing to help your cause. Unless you're into the kind of swinging threesomes wherein each party has his or her own personal space amidst a cocoon of...

Monday, January 6, 2014
$60 from Sabrina Fossi »

Now when you say "ToastyMUG," Sabrina Fossi, do you really mean toasty? Like, warm and soul-soothing? Or do you actually mean scorching and my choice of second degree finger burns or dropping the mug and spilling its steaming...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$36.57 from Amazon »

After I gave a rundown of this ultralight, and ultra-cheap, canister camp stove, I received a message from a reader about how I should have focused more on the ultra-cheap part. My understanding now is that it is a knockoff...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$123 - $134 from Black Milk Clothing »

I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed...

Monday, February 17, 2014

Under normal circumstances, my tongue wouldn't be the first place I'd pick to be spanked. But seeing as Tonguespank Spices are coating their lashings in flavors like Garlic Grappa and Scorpion Bourbon, I guess I'd be OK with...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
$35.89 - $40 from Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...

Sunday, November 11, 2012
$21.66 - $77.10 from Amazon »

A swing and a miss no more. Not with 400 Lumens of LED light pouring from the tip of your baseball bat. Available in compact, but business-takin'-care-of 15-1/2", and say-goodbye-to-the-bones-in-your-face 23-1/2" models*...

Bar
Thursday, November 21, 2013
$26 from Shapeways »

A bird in the hand is worth...nowhere near as much to me as a shot of Fireball in the hand. Birds are dirty and carry avian flu and salmonella. Even some of the cooked ones. Ahem, chicken. But hands. Hands are the poster child...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
$2,565 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's...

Sunday, March 16, 2014
$30 from Sosu Sauces »

I told them this is what would happen if they let the roosters near the tomatoes. The cocks just can't keep it to themselves. And now we have this bastard child. This atrocious, humiliating...awesome-sounding, mouthwatering...

Friday, May 30, 2014
$11.33 from Amazon »

Steak Saws? Now that's a little cynical, don't you think? Just because you've had to get the entirety of your body weight behind carving bites off of every steak your wife/girlfriend/mama has served to this point in life doesn't...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

Why is it that every photo I could find of this Comfort-U Total Body Pillow depicts a lady using it? Do men not want to experience the soothing, womb-like coziness of a giant stuffed parabola? Do we eschew the possibility...

Monday, March 24, 2014
$176.23 from Amazon »

Compatible with Android and iOS, the Netatmo Urban Weather Station will track and provide comprehensive feedback on your immediate environment. It's an entirely personal weather device with one tracking module for interior...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
Discontinued

Who goes anywhere without their phone? My guess is zero people. Who goes anywhere without a pocket knife, screwdriver, wrench, ruler, and bottle opener? My guess is a few more than zero people. Maybe even enough people to...

Friday, May 24, 2013
$69 - $129 from Etsy »

In addition to offering a bunch of sick shades, sunglasses maker Kevin of Neon Nightlife also offers some suggestions on how best to use his eye-catching glowing designs. These include:...

Sunday, March 30, 2014
$7.73 from Amazon »

Well, Star Wars: Jedi Academy doesn't come in a sweet mechanical vault or reveal ancient secrets of the Jedi discipline like The Jedi Path, but I bet it will be an easier purchase to share with your kids. I mean that in the...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes sense....