A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
$500 from Opulent Items »

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$28 from Amazon »

VinniBag is the answer to the call of Fra-gee-lay. Case in point: one time, back when I had a sugar mama, I went to Chilean wine country and while going through customs upon returning to my homeland I watched a dude pick up...

Monday, February 6, 2012
$3,920 from Real-f »

On a bad hair day, you might wear a wig. Now, on a bad face day, you can wear a REALFACE. REALFACE is a 3DPF--three-dimensional photo form--that elevates the powers of standard 3D printing, and combines them with 3D modeling. Japanese designer Osamu Kitagawa takes both photos and facial impressions of his clients, and amalgamates the two to create an exact replica and 3D mold of the subject's features....

Saturday, July 6, 2013
$18 - $72.60 from Society 6 »

Oh snap! It's imaginary ancient fantasy world meets the decades of excess and grunge. In a new line of Society 6 prints, graphic designer Mike, who sells under the name Moshi-Kun, gives your favorite Game of Thrones characters...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$26.95 from Amazon »

Sick of hearing about the Zombie Apocalypse? Me too. I'm also sick of hearing about how pretty soon my mama's going to kick me out of her house and stop paying for my cell phone bill and all of my chips and cereal, thus forcing...

Sunday, September 2, 2012
Discontinued

Antagonist. Necromancer. Lord of the Rings. SRG Armoury brings the darkness and malevolence of Tokien's Sauron to life in this custom-made Full Plate Armor Set. Constructed from 16 - 18 gauge mild steel, all suits are forged to order over the course of 3 to 5 months. Uses range from cosplay battle re-enactments to an art installation for deep pocketed fantasy die hards to a personal protection...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$228.99 from Amazon »

Hmmm, does my desire not to wash dishes by hand supersede my desire to microwave Hot Pockets? It's not even a rhetorical question. Even though SPT's countertop dishwasher says it will fit beneath most kitchen cabinetry, it's...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$15.29 from Firebox.com »

Oh the C word. My friends Constantine, Bartholomew, and I all agree it's pretty much the worst in the English language. Definitely the most heinous mud you can sling at someone. Which makes this C U Next Tuesday, or UNT Mug...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
$650 from Etsy »

I like the idea of the Force being with me, but I also like the idea of stuff. With one of these Star Wars rings I will still be able to envision and harness the power of an intangible Force, but, more importantly, I'll be...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$500 from Etsy »

Ways to maintain popularity and credibility over the course of 20 years in the music industry: 1) Keep making good music; 2) Wear badass LED costumes from the future. Mauricio Santoro pays homage to the Thomas half of the...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$28.79 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$100 from Amazon »

Blissful slumbering courtesy of a bed in the sky. It sounds like a dream come true. So you click...and view...and...it's a hammock. A thin, garbage bag-looking hammock too. This hammock has some explaining to do....

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$3,065 - $6,131 from Surface Tension »

Previously we witnessed the introduction of fine craftsman furniture to the old school Nintendo controller. Now we see tastefully worked walnut and oak incorporated into full-on coffee table arcades and PCs. Surface Tension...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$25k - $35k from ideum »

Ideum's 55" Platform and Pro Touch Tables, carnivals of interactive media suitable for simultaneous use by up to 4 computing people, have just been walloped by the Hammer of Thor in the form of the company's newest advancement...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014
$9.50 - $17.64 from Amazon »

Egglings are kind of a weird mash of concepts. Like, an egg is supposed to be a womb for growth, but if you crack it before the growth cycle is complete you don't get life, you get breakfast. With this egg though, if you don't...

Friday, June 28, 2013
$11.50 - $44.09 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$30 from Amazon »

It's Dungeons & Dragons for the boozin' 21+ crowd. DrunkQuest combines fast-paced card game mechanics with shades of the D&D fantasy world with a few 6-packs and a liter or two of Captain Morgan for a party game of competitive...

Thursday, January 30, 2014
$12.09 from Amazon »

I kept searching for more at the end of the Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too book title. Some ellipses leading into a second line of ...if They Want to Die Alone on the Couch with the A-holes, Who Will Then Eat Their Owners' Raw...

Saturday, December 1, 2012
$199.99 from Watchismo »

While seemingly morbid and in poor taste at first glance, The Accurate--a Mr. Jones Watch--intends to serve as a reminder of our fleeting seconds, minutes, and hours on earth. Its dial and rim are even mirrored so that when...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
$29.95 from Etsy »

This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't be...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

Monday, February 17, 2014
$10.36 from Amazon »

Stereotypically, they're awkward. Unathletic. Unpopular. Nasally. Know-it-alls who got no game. In reality, they run the world. And maybe a lot of the 21st century's geeks still do possess some of the qualities of those from...

Sunday, February 9, 2014
$57.95 from Amazon »

They term the type of massage RumbleRoller's Beastie Bar delivers "aggressive." I think you could also call it "penetrating," "effectively deep," and "more painful than a head-butt in the hamstring from a unicorn." Look at...

Bar
Monday, April 7, 2014
$5.99 from Amazon »

I drink all my wine on the rocks, so I don't really need a wine bottle thermometer, but if you're into the whole tradition and preservation and quality thing, maybe you'd like to slip this thermal readout cuff onto your favorite...

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$119.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for an oven I can carry around like a ladies' purse. And this one looks like the contraption my grandma used to use to get a suntan, so it even has some nostalgia built into it. Sunflair's portable solar...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$6.06 from Amazon »

Oh hello Cthulhu. I almost didn't see you there before I turned on my flashlight. Well, technically LED underwater torch. TOMTOP made it 100% waterproof and effective at illuminating up to 25 meters of ocean pathway. It weighs...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Part superhero transportation, part adult sized go kart, one thing is for sure, this is a suicide machine. But think what fun you'll have right up until the point of death! And then you can have all of your loved ones say...

Thursday, July 26, 2012
Discontinued

I just cracked the ever-loving Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Alien vs. Predator, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem out of my knee cap on the corner of a coffee table, but somehow, as I gaze upon the Chesthugger...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$120 - $130 from QSTO »

With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose...

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
$31.26 - $61.95 from Amazon »

A little morbidity to go with your coffee and intent gaze of surfing the Web for non-work-related diversions today? The idea for Havalon sporting scalpels arose from watching taxidermists at work. Havalon's parent company...

Friday, September 16, 2011
$1,299 from Makerbot »

If you're not familiar with 3D printers yet, it's time to start familiarizing yourself. A 3D printer actually "prints" an object you design on your computer by laying down successive layers of material. This offers the possibility...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and luminol...

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$419 from Amazon »

The Makita 18V Cordless Autofeed Screwdriver powerfully delivers screw after screw with a 4-pole motor capable of 4,000 RPMs. It is ideal for decking and sub-floor applications. And also for quickly bolting The Big Coloring...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$11 from Etsy »

While my ideal Bat Key would start the ignition to a Batmobile, I guess one that makes an X on my computer screen will suffice until I raise $620,000 and learn how to drive a stick. Etsy artist Anya's Batman Keyboard Stickers...

Monday, April 8, 2013
$119 - $199.95 from Amazon »

Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable Umbrella...

Monday, March 12, 2012
$4.30 from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those...

Saturday, August 31, 2013
Discontinued

Fos: It's an LED safety patch for pedestrians and bikers. Fos: It's a light grid programmable wirelessly through your smartphone to display video, graphics, or text. Fos: It's everything people post on Facebook about how many...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$99 - $119 from Amiigo »

What if you had a tiny device to track your reps, sets, duration, speed, and intensity? Would you work out more? Would you work out harder? Yeah, me neither, but I'd use it to barter with a strong, fit person who actually...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$55 - $80 from Eighty-Eight Industry »

Aero Ti creators Eighty Eight Industry went aerodynamic with their chopsticks after studying the physiology of holding typical round, square, and octagonal shapes. When the hand's three fingers merge to grip a pair, they create...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Sold Out from eartheasy »

Think Fast LifeStraw Go Promotion: In honor of their debut, LifeStraw Go water bottles will be available for 43% off their normal retail price through December 11, 2013 ($19.95 vs. $34.95). Follow the link to vendor eartheasy's...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$12.46 from Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of crème de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Friday, February 1, 2013
$67,500 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

If they were going put the effort into creating a bathtub out of airplane and race car materials, couldn't they have made it look like an airplane or race car? Not that I wouldn't still clamor to spend some QT in Corcel's...

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Here's a fun accident waiting to happen. Sorry about Grandma's porcelain ash urn, Mama! It's so hard to find Skee Ball machines outside of Chuck E Cheese's anymore. I guess they don't have the same bar-game allure as pool...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$75k - $135k from WaterCar »

Uh, can panthers even swim? I thought cats hated water and stuff 'cause it might, like, cleanse their evil spirits. I'm just not clear on the logic of WaterCar's name selection process for what is supposedly the world's fastest...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of your...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$14.95 from Bacon Basket »

Is a bowl-shaped baking dish designed explicitly to mold bacon into baskets for transporting eggs and BBQ pulled pork to my mouth necessary? I don't know, are pants necessary? Necessity may be one, but she is not the only...

Sunday, March 9, 2014
$9.15 from Amazon »

That's right, kid. You wanna play Here Comes the Airplane, you pilot that aircraft yourself. I'm sick of contemporary society's unbridled pandering to children. They have two hands. Why can't they feed themselves? Put on their...

Thursday, January 16, 2014
$15.12 from Amazon »

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't eat a zucchini under any circumstances. But a zucchini that's been shaved? Hmmm, I don't know. See, when it comes to girls I...well, anyway, I guess it's safe to say that if an ugly, stumpy...

Monday, February 3, 2014
$89.95 from Amazon »

Great. I always tell my mama that as soon as someone makes it so I can just wave a magic wand to get the job done I'll gladly help her clean the house. I never thought a magic wand that cleans the house was a legitimate possibility....

Monday, January 7, 2013
$235 - $260 from GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler....

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$55.79 from Firebox.com »

This year, the grubby little hands that touch Santa's cookies are getting a superlaser blast to the neck. Or at least that's the scare tactic this Death Star cookie jar will promote in parental attempts to limit cookie overconsumption...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$89 from Amazon »

Reviewers of ABEO's HDVR-150, a hi-def video/still camera built into an attachable rearview mirror, have predominantly words of praise to lay upon the device, but I'm not fully sold on its application. Certainly in this age...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$295 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not wear...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Discontinued

An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Who doesn't love avocados? Besides people who hate avocados? No one! And one tool all avocado lovers should have is three tools! In one! OXO's 3-in-1 avocado slicer slits, pits, slashes, and scoops fleshy green about-to-be-guacamole...

Bar
Thursday, September 15, 2011
$25 from Chugbeers »

So long beer bong. Pump up to 24 ounces of cold, tasty, inhibition stealing beer down your gullet in less than two seconds with the Bierstick. It's like a 2x multiplier for having fun. You're gonna have fun anyway... why not...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$128 from Wool & Prince »

Do you know how many men in the Pacific Northwest are going to go apeshit when they find out about a wool shirt that will stay wrinkle- and odor-free for 100 days straight...without washing, ironing, or dry cleaning it? All...

Monday, June 3, 2013

1, 2, Freddy's comin' for you. 3, 4 better lock the door. 5, 6 get a crucifix.... My sister let me watch A Nightmare on Elm Street when I was 5 and I think it made me wet the bed in fear every night for like 3 months, and...

Saturday, August 10, 2013
$99.95 - $229.95 from Nobilified »

Now you too can enjoy the spoils of fame and have your face dropped onto an old world portrait of a king, queen, emperor, clergyman, knight, solider, or naked lady. Like the series of celebrity solider prints we showed you--inked...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$21.85 from Amazon »

What time is it? Let me check my Secret Agent projection gun alarm clock. Shoot! It's time to get up....

Saturday, August 3, 2013
$74.99 from Ilumi Bottle »

The ILUMI Smartbottle, a container that tracks and analyzes water intake, is like your mom: it follows you around telling you what to do, keeping track of whether or not you do it, and offering unsolicited commentary about...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$29.55 from Amazon »

This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and...

Monday, September 24, 2012
$639.99 from Etsy »

Dragon slaying dudes saw their wicked set of leather armor featured a few months ago, so now, ladies, it's your turn. John McGovern is peddling this handcrafted Dragon Scale Leather Armor to badasses of the female persuasion....

Thursday, April 5, 2012
$14.99 from PocketShot »

Is that a shot of tequila in your pocket, or am I just happy to see you? Pocket Shots are flexible, stand-up pouches enshrining 50 ml servings of everyone's favorite 80-proof hard liquor varietals. Long flight? Long day at...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't know what you get when you pass Go--maybe another axe or Gator machete to add to your zombie defense arsenal--but I do know that when I play Monopoly: Walking Dead Survival Edition I'll have permanent dibs on the bucket...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

Is it too early to be talking about candy canes? Most likely. But I join the Targets and Macy's (Macy'ses?) of the world in shoving Christmas down your throat immediately after Halloween only because I care about you. I care...

Thursday, March 14, 2013
$34.95 - $199.95 from Muzzleshot »

A few months ago I would have been all over the Muzzleshot, a tactical shot glass crafted in the likeness of M16A2 weapons' flash hider. But after a recent, constitution-crushing experience with Fireball in DC, I'm sticking...