Cabana Shirt Pool Float

$26.64 from Amazon »

Garcon! Bring me a pina colada--extra umbrellas!--and a big plate of fried plantains with salsa and guacamole. Fresh mashed poolside, please....

Casual Strains Cannabis Strain T-Shirts

Casual Strain's line of T-shirts aren't made of hemp and they don't contain built-in smoking apparatuses. And thanks be to God Bob, Willie, Woody, and Snoop Dogg for that. What they do contribute to the world are some...

Lifetime Subscription to Blur Privacy Protection

$49.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Blur your email addresses. Blur your credit card and phone numbers. Blur that photo of you taking a few of someone's uneaten sweet potato waffle fries off a plate on the bus tray while you're waiting for your table. What...

Orbit1 Electroplater - Coat Anything in Metal

$1,999 - $2,199 from Orbit1 »

The Midas Touch: now available for as little as $2 per gram. 3D printing is still cool and all, but in technology years it's getting to be an old man. Between hobbyists being able to print their trinkets on desktop models...

Rebel Bass Guitar

$790 - $1,400 from Etsy »

No longer must you search the galaxy to find this Rebel Bass, but you will have to wait at least 3 months to get it. Last Fall, after photos of his custom Star Wars guitars had gone viral online, Englishman Doni opened...

Carolina Shuckers Hand-Forged Kitchen Tools

$25 - $55 from Carolina Shuckers »

Hand-forged in North Carolina by Kirk Davis or Michael Waller--you'll know which one because his name will be etched into the back of your purchase--Carolina Shuckers repurposes items such as old railroad spikes and equestrian...

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Alcohoot Smartphone Breathalyzer

$79.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

A 2014 Red Dot Award Winner, the Alcohoot attaches to iOS and Android smartphones to tell those who have had a couple how likely "a couple" is to get them into trouble. The portable breathalyzer plugs into a phone's headphone...

Lotus Belle Luxury Canvas Tents

$1,800 - $2,800 from Lotus Belle »

I recently learned a new word from my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, and although I swore I would never use it, it's all I can think of when I look at these canvas tents from Lotus Belle. The word is "glamping."...

Heroes Never Sleep Sleep Masks

Unless you're jacked up on the caffeine and dinoflagellates in Power Glow you may need some shuteye every now and then, but superheroes? Superheroes never sleep!* And now for a mere handful of US dollars, they are willing...

Invisaband Mosquito Repellent Bracelet

$24.99 from Amazon »

Mosquitos may love your blood, but do they love it enough to wade through a shield of...dun, dun dun!...geraniol to suck it? If I remember correctly, geraniums are the dapper flowers my mama used to keep in her sunroom....

C4 Carbon Fiber Diving Fins

$419 - $600 from Amazon »

C4 makes fins for serious freedivers, spearfishermen, and mermaid cosplayers. And also people who just want to swim really, really fast. The carbon fiber designs tout themselves as key players in more underwater-themed...

nScope Portable Electronics Lab

$89 - $165 from nScope »

nScope advertises itself to consumers the same way I advertise myself to ladies*: safe enough for beginners, powerful enough for experts. nScope is a portable electronics workbench that connects to any laptop to produce...

Tricked Toys Metal Phone Cases

$40 - $80 from Tricked Toys »

Tricked Toys CNC machines all of their smartphone cases from 6061 aluminum, solid copper, or solid brass. If you like their street artsy look, then grab your screwdriver: the metal cases actually bolt together around...

Marvel Superhero Family Car Decals

Sold Out from Amazon »

Usually I hope a giant flock of pigeons craps on those cars with the stick figure family decals on them...unless the scene goes on to show T-Rex eating everyone...but I don't think I'd find these Marvel superhero versions...

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The MaxiClimber

Giveaway: The MaxiClimber

The bad news is it's too late to enter to win the MaxiClimber as a Mother's Day gift. The good news is by entering to win the compact rock climbing simulator for yourself, you'll incinerate your own body fat, shred your...

Star Wars Wine Stoppers & Lightsaber Cheese Knives

$12.50 - $109.95 from Etsy »

Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you. And, thanks to Zeitgass' Dark Side metal stoppers and lightsaber knives, also with your fine 2004 Cabernet Franc and stinky goaty hunk of barnyard cheese....

Ltd Tools Smoking Pipes

$120 - $135 from Ltd Tools »

The Ltd Tools mission statement: "To make the nicest pipes on the planet." I guess the truth in that goal is all personal taste before you're high, and not really worth taking the trouble to think about after you're high...

Moon Chaise Lounge

$266 from Love the Design »

Huh. The Moon chaise lounge kind of looks like another swell piece of furniture, the Liberator Wedge. But not enough that you couldn't set it out on display in your living room and use it as, like, an actual chair or...

Corkcicle Arctican Stainless Steel Can Cooler

$48.97 from Amazon »

If you need the Corkcicle Arctican to keep your can of beer cold for 3 hours, because it takes you 3 hours to drink a can of beer...maybe you should you switch back to cans of sodie. While the company's stainless steel...

Steampunk Warrior Leather Armor

$700 from Etsy »

You say you dig steampunk culture, but do you dig it enough to live it? Like, when you receive the invitation to your golden boy cousin Dickie's wedding with the "Black Tie" designation stamped across it, do you head...

DIY Craft Beer Kit

$44.99 from Craft a Brew »

This OG is for Orange Golden, an ale you'll enjoy not just because you've lifted it from the cooler with your own two hands, but because you've brewed it from start to finish with them too. The DIY craft beer kit gives...

Tesla Powerwall Home Battery

$3k - $3,500 from Tesla Motors »

Basically if I could be anyone else on earth, living or dead*, I would be Elon Musk of Tesla Motors (and SpaceX). He's incredibly rich, he's had 2 hot wives (#1, <a class="magnific-copy" href="http://media.tumblr.com/57abc65432c9f83fe01ef6515d055444/tumblr_inline_n6qvxw1Dp

Baby Up In This B*tch Car Decal

$4.99 from Amazon »

Step back, son, and give this minivan a wide berth. Because the soccer mom driving it: 1) is a terrible speed-up-slow-down-please-just-pick-a-lane driver; 2) keeps yelling at her 8-year-old to put the lid back on his...

Rolo Space-Saving Travel Bag

$51.45 from Amazon »

With the exception of rich, chewy caramel you can pretty much stuff the Rolo with anything you want to take on your travels and trust that the portable wardrobe will condense the items into their most compact, most portable...

Coyote Face Pet Harness

Discontinued

I don't know whether that cat looks more pissed that someone put a harness on him or that the face of the coyote he just gutted and ate from the inside out when it tried to swallow him whole is still stuck to it....

Pyle Pocket Projector with Built-in WiFi

$419.74 from Amazon »

The Pyle Smart Mini Pocket Projector couldn't decide whether it wanted to be a compact photo/video viewer, a laptop, a TV, or an MP3 Player, so it decided to be a true Renaissance Projector and conquer them all. In addition...

WOW Aqua Floating Table & Bar

$229.99 from Amazon »

Oh yeah. An inflatable floating picnic table & bar + me + She-Ra: Princess of Power + my friend Cornelius + wamp, wamp. Cornelius is still single. Don't worry, C, we'll find you a date for summer boozin' and eating pressed...

nexpaq Modular Smartphone Case

$89 - $109 from nexpaq »

Since we're still waiting for a modular cell phone to emerge from the Sea of Google, nexpaq proposes that in the interim we...wait...but hopefully for less time...for their forthcoming modular cell phone case. Customizable...

Lebert Equalizer

$99 - $116.95 from Amazon »

Use the Lebert Equalizer to do pushups, pullups, dips, lunges, planks. Use it on the incline, use it on the decline, use it on the road. Grab the simple set of arced bars and rip out your whole body solo, or partner up...

Atacama Expedition Motorcycle Tent

$499 from Redverz Gear »

The Atacama Expedition is a tent fit for a king. Of the road. This is the latest version of the brand's 3-person plus 1-motorcycle sleeper. The center bay is large enough to fit a full-size adventure tourer with panniers...

iBlazr Smartphone LED Flash & Flexible Charger

$39.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

A small square LED flash with its own self-contained battery (so it won't make your device's even crappier), iBlazr inserts into the audio jack of smartphones and tablets, or mounts to DSLRs to synchronize with their...

H2OVibe Showerhead with Bluetooth Speaker

$49.99 from Amazon »

Sure you can suction cup a waterproof Bluetooth speaker to your tile...and hope that it doesn't dislodge and whack you right in that tender spot on the downslope of your foot at the height of "Raining Blood." Or you can...

Rotating Pie Chart Coffee Table

$1,600 from Polit »

A table that looks like a pie chart isn't as good as a table that looks like a pie, but at least with Goncalo Campos' 4 Times coffee table I can hide my mama's O magazines and rosehip & baby's butt pot pourri when my...

Cyberpunk Headpieces

$116.43 from Etsy »

OK Google...uh, I mean...here are a bunch of cyberpunk headpieces to suit futuristic cosplay ventures and desires to wear an ornate conversation piece on your face. Artist and designer Dominic Elvin takes his inspiration...

BevPod Slim Cooler

$34 from Bevpod »

Start with a Beer Briefcase. Add some ice. And take away the sense that it should be handcuffed to your wrist. There you'll have the BevPod, an ultra-slim cooler capable of chilling up to 10 cans or 6 bottles in a fraction...

WatchStand Apple Watch Charging Dock

$26.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Now that you've got a shiny new Apple Watch, it's time to buy it some shiny new toys. You could start with this slick stick of a charging podium from Griffin. The WatchStand houses and hides Apple's charging cable inside...

3D-Illusion Lighting Sculpture

$79.99 from Blue Pine Studio »

Now here's a fine piece of optical trickery. Blue Pine Studio's 3D light sculpture projects its beams as an intricate geometric nest of LEDs that can be set to 16 different colors and 4 different light-changing modes....

O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun

Sold Out from Amazon »

But officer, it's just a movie prop. See, they used an O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun in Demolition Man, Con-Air, and The Last Boy Scout. I'm just role-playing and...ow! I see you are not. Can you at loosen those cuffs...

Sneaky Uses for Everyday Things

$9.63 from Amazon »

Sneaky and shady basically mean the same thing, but for some reason sneakiness manages to carry an air of charm, whereas shadiness makes everyone want to steer clear of the jackhole who will short you on his portion of...

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The COFFEEBOXX

Giveaway: The COFFEEBOXX

By: OXX »

Bulls schmulls. I want to help you get strong as an OXX. Step 1: click here and enter to win OXX's burly COFFEEBOXX, a single cup brewing system with a crush-proof core, water- and dust-resistant housing, and button that...

GoBQ Roll-up Grill

$135 from GoBQ Grills »

Some punk kids do grow up to make something of themselves. For example, punk college kid Eric Goeken grew up to be a 30-something broke hipster punk (I swear, his words, not mine). A 30-something broke hipster punk with...

Hidetoshi Nakayama Bolt Action Pen

$420 from Monkey Edge »

I've never understood why people drop hundreds of dollars on things like blue jeans and wine when Carhartt's and 2 Buck Chuck will do just fine jobs of covering your ass and getting you drunk. But spending hundreds of...

Dotti Pixel-Art Notification Light

$69.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Here's a happy little block of blocks to add some entertainment and LED flair to your notifications. The Dotti lights up and serves as a canvas to pixelated art you can set to notify you of texts, emails, and social media...

GolfBoard

$6,500 from GolfBoard »

I'm sure serious, elitist golfers have long been wondering when their posh country clubs were going to figure out a way to incorporate skateboarding into their rolling 18 holes of pristine greens. Well, lads, this is...

Bruiser Gauntlet

$48 from Etsy »

Why throw your hat in the ring for the title of Most Badass Cosplayer when you can show up in Rawring Craft's Bruiser Gauntlet and just whack the shit out of anyone who disputes your claim to it? The sci-fi arm guard...

CPU Wars Card Game

$14.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

No one appreciates your knowledge and skills until they need you to fix their own IT systems, do they? But at least with these 2 decks of the CPU Wars card game you can show off your encyclopedic understanding of desktop...

Lime Bomber

Sold Out from Amazon »

Whether you're averse to germs, juice squirts in the eye and beer sprays on the shirt, or just putting forth a modicum more of effort than is necessary, the Lime Bomber will free your fingers of the habitual summertime...

Breaking Bad Los Pollos Hermanos Fry Batter

$18.99 from Amazon »

Celebrate this summer--and finding Walter--with a big bucket of Los Pollos Hermanos fried chicken. And if you don't live close enough to Breaking Bad's fictional representation of Albuquerque to grab some, grab a bucket...