A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, March 20, 2014
$55 from Etsy »

Finally, a literal interpretation we can love as much as the figurative one: it's a banana hammock! Designer Biken even fabricated and hand-finished this one in genuine leather because your banana deserves nothing but the...

Friday, September 19, 2014
$29.95 from DudeIWantThat.com »

The size of a quarter, the value of your sanity. Attach a StickR TrackR Bluetooth location sticker to any important item and maintain a permanent link to its whereabouts. Get a pair of the disks from Dude Exclusives for $29.95...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$35.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ugh, do I have to explain what the Higgs boson is? Like, in a way that implies I understand it? Well. IMHO, it's just another tiny, tiny cog in the machine that makes the world churn, but apparently physicists have a more affable view of the Higgs boson. Especially because confirmation of its existence as another elementary particle--which was seemingly achieved just a few months ago on March 14...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$61.25 from Gizoo »

Onion! You bastard! Raw atop my chalupa you give me the breath of a dragon-sized chihuahua that just puked up a can of tuna fish. Dicing is too good for the likes of you. Prepare to be hacked to bits with my Samurai sword...

Sunday, September 21, 2014
$17.99 from Perpetual Kid »

It's only natural that a company called Perpetual Kid would be selling a Mitten Flask. Ahhh, mittens. I lost so many of them sledding during Christmas vacation as a precocious 7-year-old. And ahhh, flasks. I always had my...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie and brainy matter, all of whom technically may be gazed upon prior to the apocalypse and 2013 and the months they represent that we will never experience. And I don't know about...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$385 from Boone Rings »

The next generation of bottle opener rings settles into a titanium home. With roommates. Designer Bruce Boone has thrown ultra-sharp twins Straight Blade and Serrated Blade, wily bad boy, Saw, and ...yahtzee!...the dapper...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
Discontinued

On the one hand, we look at people like Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp and envy their posh celebrity lives. But on the other, we look at the Who Tall Are You? Mirror and wonder how the H-E double hockey sticks they get so much...

Wednesday, December 3, 2014
$185 from The Shrine »

Dirty, germy shoes nestled against your white shirts and boxer briefs. Not cool. Neither is cramming your sneakers in a bag's slim outer pocket and having them come back out all misshapen and degraded. In response to this...

Tuesday, March 18, 2014
$229.99 from Amazon »

The reduction of "Little" to "Lil" normally makes me cringe. It might be second only to shortening words with "y" or "ie", or adding the letters to the end of them. "Sammy" instead of "sandwich" is the worst offense. However...

The Eviltron
Sold Out from Amazon »
Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of smoke;...

Sunday, May 11, 2014
$139.95 from CarbonLite Tools »

Who wants the same kind of carbon fiber used to build F1 race cars and spaceships also used to build the tools used to build carbon fiber F1 race cars and spaceships? CarbonLite calls its carbon fiber wrenches "the next generation...

Sunday, November 16, 2014
$128.34 - $179.70 from Etsy »

On the chopping block is right. Even though Danny van Kessel's Big Chop wood cutting boards look pretty tasteful and finely crafted, I have no doubt they'd serve faithfully when you need to hack up a big hunk of meat or take...

Thursday, August 21, 2014
$39.99 - $122.85 from Amazon »

While SteelBell creator Hyperwear also makes neoprene SandBells, these steel shot-filled versions of the free weights are about half the size of and, some say, twice as dynamic as their counterparts. Available as individual...

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego...

Sunday, June 29, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

It's like the Hopside Down Beer Glass but with more of a bang. And I hear even better than a punctured aluminum can for shotgunning a Bud Light. As you can imagine, filling the the 50 Caliber Bullet Beer Glass requires minimal...

Friday, February 14, 2014
$13.75 from Amazon »

Black like my ex's heart, and black like the magic I'm going to use to make her rue the day she left me crushed and dejected inside a four square. Anyone who wants to know what's wrong with me, here's your answer: 1) Julie...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$62 from Etsy »

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

I've slept on my sofa for the past 2-1/2 years. I've even slept in my sleeping bag on my sofa. But until now the two were not a happy combination, as the outsides of sleeping bags are slippery, and the heights of sofas are...

Thursday, October 23, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

If I'm traipsing through the middle of nowhere and slip on a lichen-spewing rock that sends me plummeting over a 3-foot dropoff such that I suddenly find myself in need of a Rapid Application Tourniquet System I can guarantee...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies. Thankfully...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$35k from Prima Cinema »

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who did...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A great way to settle arguments between siblings, the MMA throwdown bed gives parents the option to let their children battle to the death before night night time. No biting or hair pulling please....

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$319.99 from Amazon »

ADT had better either step up its game or get ready for retirement because with all of the user-controlled, smartphone-based home security systems trickling onto the market it won't be long now until third-party remote (and...

Sunday, January 12, 2014
$128 - $185.50 from Gyroscope.com »

Made from solid brass and aluminum, the Super Precision Gyroscope is both the epic tinkerer's and workplace thumb-twiddler's essential toy. It runs on miniature stainless steel bearings that propel its movement continuously...

Monday, August 4, 2014

Use the Sensordrone to turn your smartphone into a mobile, wearable, programmable 11-in-one sensor. Available for $149, 25% off its $199 retail value, for a limited time from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
$16.99 from Flick Candles »

Well, in all fairness, every single one of Flicking Candle Company's Flick Candles isn't a complete killjoy. I mean, sure, there's Cancelled Vacation, Defriend, Grandma's Last Christmas Tree, and Freshman 15 Pound Cake, but...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$15.98 from Amazon »

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense tool....

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Necessity, she is the mother of invention. Even if it takes decades--no, centuries!--of jagged edges and misshapen triangles. Of someone popularizing the word "rustic" to justify the serving of sloppy, ugly food. Necessity...

Tuesday, September 16, 2014
$28.99 - $29.50 from Amazon »

One nice thing about the FlipBelt is that it doesn't appear to make you look like you're wearing a fanny pack or running to burn off that spare tire encircling your gut region. Slim, comfortable, and sturdy, the storage belt's...

Thursday, August 21, 2014
$229 - $499 from Revolights »

Revolights, a wheel-mounted bicycle headlight and taillight system, equip cyclists with wheels that provide true 360-degree visibility, plus an integrated brake light indicator. The Kickstarted company's current model, Revolights...

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$1,260 - $1,500 from Scan Computers »

Since the BBC officially licensed the TARDIS PC, Scan Computers was able to build it exactly to scale from the original prop schematics, match the interdimensional police box's precise Pantone color, and load its hard drive...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$119.99 from Etsy »

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of Zelda-inspired...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Sold Out from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit an...

Monday, April 28, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

As we all know, my mama occasionally gets mad at me for being...what does she call it? A complete shithead, maybe?...at which times I have to move out of her house and go live in her back yard. This is of course very annoying...

Sunday, September 14, 2014
$1,700 from Artonomos »

Confluence looks so vast. Layers of birch plywood undulating over a rich landscape of smooth canyons and swirling colors carved especially to transport your wildest dreams and...your teapot. Zoom out. A little more. Oh. It's...

Thursday, December 19, 2013
$189 from Amazon »

Appropriately, this giant, 7' bean bag sofa is called the Fuf. In honor of all the people who are going to Fuf on it. In comfort, no less. The Fuf replaces the traditional foam balls of 1970s bean bag creations with patented...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$210 - $395 from PJ Reefs »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$159 from Edyn »

Kid down the street who used to water my mama's flowers when she went out of town, you're fired. Don't worry, it's not that we're not downsizing or shipping your job overseas. We're just replacing you with a robot. Edyn, a...

Saturday, August 16, 2014
$3.99 from Amazon »

Don't want to wait 19 months, or whatever the current ETA for Bunch O Balloons is? Get an instant water balloon fix with ZORBZ latex bombs. You won't be able to pump up 3 dozen of them at once, but the balloons' self-sealing...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$36.99 from Amazon »

I bet this is the only bathrobe on Amazon--no, on the planet!--that has 121 customer reviews! 121 reviews! 159 if you count its second listing here. 159 reviews*! Of a bathrobe. I know it's a Jedi bathrobe and it has a Star...

Saturday, October 4, 2014
$12.85 from Amazon »

The skulls on these X-ray playing cards show a transparent face to you, an opaque face to your opponents, and a sinister face to all. You'll be able to turn your friend Cornelius' mug into a sick-grinning, blood-red-brained...

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$1,999 - $2,198 from USU »

The Urban Storage Unit, or USU (pronounced "oooh-sue"), provides up to 1,000 pounds worth of additional storage for people with assigned parking spots in apartment and condominium complexes. Uh, high-end apartment and condominium...

Saturday, April 12, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

So...I guess Slothzilla sounded better than King Sloth or Sloth Kong? Or maybe it's creators were just taking a page out of sloth the animal's own book and being lazy about fact checking their re-imaginations of iconic cinematic...

Tuesday, September 9, 2014
$349.99 from Amazon »

Of course, of course McConaughey runs in a weighted training vest. His pecs aren't schlepping around any 140 pounds of solid iron like this ZFL pullover though....

Sunday, September 7, 2014
$5.39 - $28.99 from Otakumode »

They're sushi socks going on anyway. Probably more like kusaya socks coming off. Mmmm, take a whiff of that, Cornelius. All the wasabi and pickled ginger in the world isn't going to cover up the scent of me and my fuchsia...

Friday, May 17, 2013
$6.61 from Amazon »

I don't think that's how you spell "wiener" or "cleaner", but I'm willing to overlook the mistake on account of the fact that my penis has been bugging me for its own soap ever since it got the wrong end of a bar I used to...

Friday, February 28, 2014
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

Did you ever know a kid growing up who had, like, full-size Pac-Man and Mortal Kombat arcade games in his basement? You know, the "rich kid"? Boys would go over en masse for tournaments after school and his mom would bring...

Saturday, July 26, 2014
$10.63 from Amazon »

F*cked up? I prefer to think of it as irreverently incapacitated. But that's just because I'm a pillar of class even when I'm challenging a Belgian vagabond to a Fireball shooting contest in a Buenos Aires bar, and then yelling...

Monday, October 13, 2014

Some acid trip mood lighting to complement your acid trip pillow? Together, they're guaranteed to satiate seekers of a psychedelic, yet drug-free lifestyle. And since ilumi's color-changing LED Smartbulbs are controlled remotely...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
$29 from BoatsToGo.com »

Though most people would probably rather get burnt by the sun than bitten by a shark, both injuries are pretty bad these days. Take your pick on which one leads to a slow, tortuous death, or having flesh ripped away from random...

Saturday, November 17, 2012
$9.82 - $23.95 from Amazon »

Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair of...

Sunday, July 14, 2013
By: serveball

I'm not sure grad student Jonas Pfeil would agree that Serveball's Squito is the "world's first intelligent throwable camera", given that he too has developed a ball with which to capture 360 degrees of snapshots during up-down...

Wednesday, December 24, 2014
$27.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Peanut Butter Blossoms. They've been a standard in my mama's Christmas cookie repertoire for as long as I've had enough teeth to eat Christmas cookies. I think that basically makes me an expert on what they're supposed to...

Thursday, July 19, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Friday, September 5, 2014

Get over 170 hours of Stone River eLearning courses on topics such as Xcode for iOS, Eclipse for Android, HTML5, Unity 3D, Bootstrapping, Foundation Grid Framework for just $59 from the Dude Exclusives online store! That's...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning. Zing!...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sold Out from threadless »

I Park Like an Idiot stickers have two outstanding selling points. 1) Applying one to the bumper or window of a deserving vehicle will give its user an instant boost, likely eliminating the crankiness and ill-will evoked by...

Sunday, April 27, 2014
$39.95 from Amazon »

This baby with a mohawk and sleeves tattooed on his arms looks ridiculous. Even though the mohawk is probably just a styling of the only hair he has on his head and the sleeves are part of a onesie. The poor bastard. He doesn't...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$116 - $158 from Crocosaurus Cove »

I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory...

Friday, January 24, 2014
$49.90 from Brando »

The Jedis may have the Force, but the Dark Side has power. Tons of it. Enough to take your iPhone, Android, or Windows mobile phone from dead to fully juiced and ready for battle. One round with the Darth Vader lightsaber...

Saturday, March 8, 2014

What we are looking at here is either a bit of a hyperbole or the wine version of that lady who tamed Helen Keller and taught her to communicate. It's called the Miracle Machine. It asserts itself as the world's first affordable...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$99 - $249 from Pro-Defense »

Designed originally for law enforcement and military use, Pro-Defense calls their F4 Tactical rail-mounted pepper spray the non-lethal alternative. Which I take to mean getting hit by a solid stream of it is still going to...

Monday, June 25, 2012
Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$16.09 from Firebox.com »

In lieu of spending $80 grand on the Talking Periodic Table of Swearing coffee table I think I might part with my Andrew Lincoln and go for the Periodic Table of Swearing mug instead. Granted, it doesn't blurt heinous profanities...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$2,249 - $4,259 from Etsy »

Holy Daenerys Mother of Dragons. If I ever propose marriage, or more likely if I ever need to bribe a girl, a ring whose gem is mounted on fire-breathing beasts of fantasy is definitely the one I'm using to do it. ArtMasters...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
$99 - $980 from Smart Wall Paint »

Smart Wall Paint is the dry erase board version of Chalkboard Wall Paint. Brush it on any smooth surface and one coat later you'll have a functional whiteboard for office, school, or home use....