Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and programs to more...
When I first heard about the Pee-wee Herman cycling suit I thought I had been proven wrong in my contention that nothing on earth could make cyclists look any more ridiculous than they already do. Seriously, does any sport have a worse more...
What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off like a dried-out scab as you vacation in Bora Bora, rock climb in Patagonia, or attend a quality control conference in Poland. Every 1 in 1,275,000 maps also awards a pot of gold more...
Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor of both beef more...
The Drivemocion Rear Window LED Messenger is probably legal in only, like, 10 states (I'd guess the spectrally left and right ones, such as Massachusetts and Texas), but for those of you living amidst bureaucratic leniency, yippie ki-yay! more...
Felt wall maps of Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York, and Paris for people who live in or have visited or just sorta like the idea of Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York, and Paris. All come with 15 push pins for marking favorite streets and venue locations, or turning the maps into bulletin boards for displaying photos, tickets, and that huge, gnarly scab I was able to rip off in one piece a more...
True apple addicts don't have time to slough off the forbidden fruit's skin one strip at a time with a handheld peeler or their fingernails. And while other crank peelers technically get the job done expediently, their clunky, heavy more...
"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in it it's a stupid more...
A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the bars of the jungle more...
I've been looking for a speaker than can bump & grind as well as I do. The BlackDiamond3, a wireless/Bluetooth model compatible with all iProducts and most smartphones, raves in up to 16,000,000 LED colors, syncing vividly with your more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
How curious it is that some people like to spend hours doing themselves what I could accomplish in a 20-minute, $20 trip to Target. DIY speakers? A DIY synth? No, no, here's the best: DIY LED greeting cards. You know, the ones that more...
The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right hand* such that more...
When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored stuff. And, more...
Hey, a chess set that's fun to play with even for people who don't know how to play chess. Umbra brings the world of Wobble to its thinker's game, either to add some whimsy to what is otherwise an insufferably boring, hours-long endeavor, more...
Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those things more...
I figured some people would question my substitution of "encyclopedia" for "lexicon" in the above Back to the Future Encyclopedia title, which represents any McFly lover's dream publication, A Matter of Time: The Unauthorized Back to more...
iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting its aromatic more...
Typically, I'm all too happy to touch things in public places and then put my fingers in my mouth, but the airplane is where I draw the line. Confined space, large numbers of people and, ugh, their children, recycled air...even though more...
"Crovel", like "spork", is a portmanteau word. It combines "Shovel" and "Crap! I'm gonna get impaled, sawed, and scooped all at once!" GearUp's latest in a respectable line of survival tools, the Crovel Tactical weighs only 3 pounds more...
The Big Face Woody. Is the name alone not reason enough to pledge our support of Oahu designer NFNT's bamboo watch? I wonder how many people inadvertently stumble across this eco-friendly wooden timepiece during Google searches for...other more...
Huh. Now this is interesting. And by "interesting" I mean, "I really hope I never show up to someone's house and see an entire room wallpapered in blood splatters." That's, like, some psycho housewife shit. Some Kathy Bates in a secluded more...
Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's infamous more...
Cloud Strife needs some help wielding his massive Buster Sword and Zack seems to be busy at the moment. Want to wear it around your neck? Chainmail mastro Michelle has hand woven a 23" gunmetal chain to support its hefty length and more...
Interdisciplinary exercises combine two or more distinct areas of study, and present them as one cohesive whole. In a world-class display of interdisciplinary art, The Talking Periodic Table of Swearing endeavors to entwine the science more...
First of all, I am in no mood for cutesy plays on words this morning so Doorganizer, minus one point. Second, the main thing about organization tools that help you not forget stuff is that you have to remember to use them. Like those more...
I guess I can kind of see now why some people are turned on by goats. Oonacat's Demon Hooves, a pair of spiked, knee-high boots with cloven foot pads in place of typical toes and heels are pretty sick. I mean in the good way, not in more...
OUYA creators Julie Uhrman and Yves Behar have said it best: There is nothing more gratifying than chillin' on the couch in Goodwill scrubs and a Nightwing hoodie, sipping on grape Fanta, and getting the news that the princess you have more...
I've always thought Suzuki motorcycle pistons would make a great bookshelf, and here's proof in the form of a Suzuki motorcycle piston bookshelf. Matt Johnson handmakes each one with Spanish cedar and aluminum and needs 2 weeks lead more...
Fish are smart. Everyone knows this. A fake ceramic treasure chest and plastic plants get old after a few minutes. Enter the labyrinth. A veritable swimmer's amusement park for aquatic life, this will keep your smelly morsel brained more...
Table Lamp 3. That's a nice secret code phrase for lightsaber, Andrew Haarsager. No one would ever suspect your true intentions of arming people with phosphorescent vectors of power primed to splice through space and unprotected body more...