A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, September 22, 2013
$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$295 - $1,689 from Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float around...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$99.99 from Brookstone »

The Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard is cool, but palm-sized? Come on, technology, you can do better than that. Let me see thumb-sized. Let me see belly button-sized. Let me see...oh, you have thumb-sized now? A Keychain Laser Virtual Keyboard? OK, that's a good start....

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

I hope the electromagnetic fields projected by these Iron Man 3 glowing Arc Reactor coasters will keep my drinks safe this holiday season from particulates of snot and saliva ejected by fellow partygoers whose mothers never...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

They call it a reverse Molotov cocktail, nomenclature I find very slick, and thereby reason enough to invest in a throwable fire extinguisher. Plus, although I'm normally more one to fan the flames, I also recognize that ladies...

Monday, November 4, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

So what you're saying is that this simple stamp could be the solution to ridding myself of the 8' piles of credit card offers and guaranteed ways to pay off my student loads in 6 months and weird notices about taxes or something from the US Government currently occupying 75% of the floor space in my bedroom? I mean, I would shred them and everything...eventually. Once I could find a good shredder...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics, personality...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
$449 from Platinum Stages »

Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how many...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$8.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$49.95 from Amazon »

I always thought my car required an oil change every 3,000 to 5,000 miles out of necessity, but according to Lubricheck, I shell out my precious duos of Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States and fellow Pisces...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$24.95 from DarkfinGloves.com »

Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing and even jumping...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Giveaway: Griz Coats 58
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: Griz Coat

Our contribution to your Halloween bedecking comes courtesy of yard upon yard of faux fur, wads of foam finessed into the heads of beasts, and the very generous ursine and lupine outerwear enthusiasts at Griz Coat. Enter to...

Thursday, July 10, 2014
$630 from Toer »

Clouds might be the new bacon. First they appeared in the sky (where their reign, like bacon's alongside a plate of scrambled eggs, is still very strong.) Then they showed up as an abstruse term for virtual storage/intangible...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$269.99 from Amazon »

You and your Armies of the Confederacy aren't so scary at 1/6th your size, are you General? Whoa. What?! Did you just swing one lightsaber in each hand and a third in your left foot at me, Grievous? Crap. You have fully-articulated...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$595 - $3,890 from Etsy »

A USS Enterprise engagement ring is what happens when true love collides with the reluctant decision to propose to some chick. As a male with a basic appreciation for the Star Trek TV series and movies, plus a deep respect...

Saturday, August 31, 2013
$32.22 from Firehouse Pantry »

Sometimes I wonder what I'll do if one day I don't want the Kraft Mac & Cheese my mama or Bob Evans serves me. Like, what if I want Kraft mini wieners* & cheese or Kraft Jet-Puffed Jumbo Mallows & cheese? Or, screw all this...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off and flying...

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

When I see alien abduction images like this lamp's they make me think of one thing: Cartman gets an anal probe. Ugh, poor cow. Well, maybe not. I mean, really, whatever fate lies ahead for him on that spaceship can't be any...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$225 from The Spiritree »

Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it is...

Friday, August 10, 2012

It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From his...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
Discontinued

Superheros and their nemeses covering the keys of my MacBook? Yahtzee! I mean, Shazam! Never before did I realize how boring and uninspired a black-and-white keyboard really is. Thank you, superhero skin genius Killer Duck...

Monday, October 21, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Stink Yourself Slim is not a joke. It's not a gag gift or an Instructables project some dude made at home to give to the lardass who hogs all of the chocolate long johns when someone brings donuts to work. Yeah, I know. It...

Monday, August 26, 2013
$33 from Unikia »

Compleat's FoodSkin seems like a better idea than a Ziploc bag because your sandwich won't rip or fall apart as you stuff it inside or later try to yank it back out. And it seems like a better idea than saran wrap because...

Saturday, October 6, 2012

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Sunday, April 14, 2013
$0.92 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves...

Monday, August 19, 2013
$328 from droog »

The perfect gift for anyone who never learned how to swim! Especially if you swap their standard bedding out with this set of lake sheets on the DL, and then make sure they don't head back to bed until they're too drunk to...

Thursday, June 27, 2013
$19 - $45 from Calibur Prints »

Is it just me or does it seem weird to call an AK-47 a "classic" or "historical" firearm? I feel like those words should still just refer to guns like the single-shot pistol John Wilkes Booth used to assassinate Abraham Lincoln....

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$19.99 from Amazon »

Now that Twinkies have returned to market, a homemade Twinkie maker might not classify as the same magnitude of necessity that it did for about 8 months there. But, still, it's kind of a necessity. You never know when Hostess...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire designs...

Monday, September 8, 2014

Last chance to take advantage of the iOS 8 Developers Course deal! Dude Exlusives $79 pricing ends today!...

Sunday, May 4, 2014
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

This LEGO-esque utensil set makes me want to glue interlocking bricks to everything I own for easy wall storage on a baseplate. Belts, hats, game controllers, wallets, phone cases, underwear. I could wallpaper my entire room...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$1,750 from A+R Store »

Funny, the guy shown using the Smokestack outdoor fire pit is exactly the type of guy I'd imagine to be entirely incapable of using a Smokestack outdoor fire pit. Half-kneeling in a suit with a baby axe? I guess that means...

Saturday, April 27, 2013
$149 from KidsEmbrace »

A Batman Car Seat?! Kids these days are so spoiled. When I was of car seat age my mama didn't even put me in a car seat. She strapped me down with bungee cords. And only on the inside of the car instead of the roof on days...

Monday, June 16, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Get in the spirit of summer festivals and San Diego Comic-Con without spending a fortune. Or dropping trou. Here the iconic Princess Leia slave costume gets a more modest tank top treatment. Flesh-colored torso, bikini-clad...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

One time I stepped outside my back door and it was -8 degrees and the snot froze in my nostrils. That time was yesterday. But during these frigid winter months, instead of jacking up my home's central heating system, or wearing...

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Alien prequel Prometheus doesn't hit theaters until June 1, 2012. So in the interim, let's take a trip down memory lane to the series' Alien vs. Predator installment. Are you there? OK, now throw in a motorcycle, a grip of...

Monday, September 16, 2013
$16.42 from Amazon »

Every time you masturbate, God chokes a kitten. I don't know if that bit of wisdom can be found in this Chinese to-go container of of X-Rated Fortune Cookies, but it should be a staple. Get your hands out of your pants and...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$20.69 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur of...

Monday, March 18, 2013
$99.99 from Amazon »

They say the Grillbot, an automatic BBQ cleaner, is fully effective, easy to use, and, my favorite selling point, fun to watch. I mean, grilling season typically coincides with TV rerun season, so hell yeah I'm on the hunt...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$2,499 from Etsy »

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian aesthetics...

Friday, October 25, 2013
$599 - $999 from Rotimatic »

I'm still not even sure what the hell roti is. I thought Indian bread was either naan (mmmmm, chewy) or papadums (mmmmm, crunchy). What's this third formation of dough throwing a wrench into my narrow culinary view of Curry...

Sunday, June 8, 2014
$29.97 from Amazon »

Why cook up homemade biscuits & gravy in your underwear in the kitchen this weekend when you can use Coleman's Camp Oven to make them buck naked in the great outdoors? Set atop a 2- or 3-burner camping stove, the aluminized...

Sunday, July 6, 2014
$43.89 - $49 from Amazon »

Cowabunga Bogeyman! These Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle nightlights--3D deco lights to be precise--don't look quite as grand as the Krang belt buckle, but I guess it fits the Hero's Narrative that Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$58.99 - $65.99 from Amazon »

Call my name! Bastian, please! Save us! Did anyone else have trouble deciphering what Bastian actually said when he screamed out the name he had chosen for the Childlike Empress? I must have watched The Neverending Story a...

Sunday, May 25, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

I know. I'm thinking it too. Boy is that a huge beach towel. And boy to the power of a hundred does that lady look lonely lying on it all by herself. What happens when she gets up to cool off and splash around adorably in...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$25.99 from Amazon »

Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying, sickle-shaped...

Friday, February 7, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

My friend Esteban lives on a boat and at the end of the summer every year he hires a diver to scrounge around the water at the bottom of his slip to try to recover the myriad items he and his friends drop over the side when...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
$99.95 from Etsy »

If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry enough...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all over...

Saturday, July 5, 2014
$99.95 from Amazon »

On the upside you do not need to be able to read an analog clock face to tell time with this LED Word Clock. On the downside, you do need to be able to read. But on the upside again, word nerds the world over, rejoice! You...

Thursday, August 7, 2014

What's this? Reverse psychology at work? Nope, no mind games or salesman trickery here at all: name your price, and you'll get up to 7 actionable Web dev training courses. That's 93+ hours of instruction on topics ranging...

Thursday, December 19, 2013
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

You know what they say: when the balls are knockin', Newton's cradle must be rockin'. Fine. They don't say that. But maybe they will once these Newton's cradles with color-changing LED balls take the kinetic sculpture world...

Friday, September 21, 2012
$99 from Amazon »

If looking like a complete schmo in an Ostrich Pillow means that I can sleep through transcontinental flights and my boss' stories about his Junior Samba Champion grandson, then bring on the gawks and guffaws. I won't see...

Monday, September 16, 2013
By: Behance

Impressively, Russian industrial designer Ekaterina Dekhtyarenko went from creating a stylized egg holder to conceptualizing and rendering a complete manned vehicle of flight (OK, she did do a hang-glider along the way as...

Thursday, March 6, 2014
$24.99 - $46.42 from Amazon »

The 4th dimension is time. 4D puzzles of famous skylines--including Westeros from Game of Thrones!--sprawl width- and lengthwise, rise vertically with scale-model buildings, and cap their dimensional empire with the axis of...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$3,999.99 from Etsy »

The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it....

Friday, June 6, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

The NHL Goal Light with horn is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. (Thank you, thank you very much.) Except it has the additional perk of arriving pre-programmed with all 30 NHL teams' authentic goal noises, selectable...

Sunday, July 14, 2013
Giveaway: KettlePizza - Backyard Wood-Fired Pizza 70
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

In collaboration with the grill masters at KettlePizza, we're firing up one KettlePizza Pro Kit--a nearly $300 value--for 1 lucky Dude reader. Enter using the quick and easy form below, and we'll draw a winner at random at...

Sunday, December 8, 2013
By: UV Vodka

Hello there, ma'am. Fine evening we're having, wouldn't you say? What's that in my hand you ask? Here, have a closer look....

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$7.61 from Amazon »

I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking...

Friday, December 14, 2012
Discontinued

You-Vision Video Glasses don't do the I-spying for you, but they do allow you to film what your little eye sees. In HD. A tiny camera built into the bridge of the glasses records full motion video with the push of a button...

Friday, June 13, 2014
$28.25 from RoofScope »

I don't really need a RoofScope gear mirror since I don't do outdoor activities, but here's why I strongly recommend one for those who do. My dentist's office is in this ghetto, horseshoe-shaped building whose back end is...

Friday, February 14, 2014
$15 from SUCK UK »

BottleLights are USB-rechargeable LED bulbs that make glass bottles glow all moody and sensual. Basically they achieve the same It's time for sexy time effect as candles without the associated fire risks. Designed by Steve...

Saturday, February 1, 2014
$99.35 from Amazon »

I saw some compact devices similar to PowerAll's portable car jump starter & power bank that claim to juice up a car battery from the comfort of my driver's seat. Just plug one in to the cigarette lighter, chill for 20 minutes...

Wednesday, February 26, 2014
$14.99 from Amazon »

As all ladies who prefer older men know, nothing compares to well-seasoned meat. Particularly meat that has been infused with flavor from the inside. While rubs and marinades can slough off or lose their potency during cooking...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
By: Neurowear

According to Forbes magazine, 2014 is bringing back tight-rolled jeans headgear. Thankfully, most of it won't connect to braces or interfere with beer consumption like Joan Cusack's in Sixteen Candles, but much will look just...