A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$12.41 from Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of crème de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$50 from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
$5,400 from Frontgate »

The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's how he sounds in speech. When Dasher hauls out the holiday carols, though, behold: instant transformation from Ross Matthews to Burl Ives....

Monday, March 12, 2012
$5.19 from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
$29.99 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
$1,575 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's infamous moon-howling T-shirts. And for all the echelons of Beta, plus the true Alphas, and most of all, every member of Alan Garner's Wolfpack out there, there is no better...

Thursday, March 14, 2013
$34.95 - $199.95 from Muzzleshot »

A few months ago I would have been all over the Muzzleshot, a tactical shot glass crafted in the likeness of M16A2 weapons' flash hider. But after a recent, constitution-crushing experience with Fireball in DC, I'm sticking...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$56 - $112 from Edge of Belgravia »

It's cool how one color option for these ceramic knives is Zombie-Slaying Green, so I can pretend I'm hacking up the flesh and bones of the undead each time I try to slice an onion without crying like the doctor just slapped...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$10.70 from Amazon »

Everyone loves superheros. Super villains. Super powers. Super tales of good vs. evil. And flashy graphics. Don't forget the loud spectral colors and ripped/buxom exaggerations of flashy graphics. That's the allure of comic...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, June 28, 2013
$11.20 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Monday, November 26, 2012
$47.70 from Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind small...

Sunday, September 25, 2011
$9.65 from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is a tough...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$25 from Bakery Ave. »

I guess you could make cheeseburger cupcake brownies yourself if you know how to bake cupcakes and brownies, and apply icing without squirting it all over your kitchen cabinets, but I don't. Also, things always taste better...

Friday, April 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One time when I was in New Orleans this voodoo lady tried to sell me some bath salts under the guise that they would enlarge my manhood if I soaked in them while listening to Prince's "Sexy MF", but I said, "No thank you...

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

25 years of life in Springfield are honored with a potato. Plus some bulbous eyes, a scruffy muzzle, and Woo hoo! a pink-frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles. Mr. Potato Head Homer Simpson has been released as an homage to...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$123 - $134 from Black Milk Clothing »

I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Discontinued

An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

While the HotTug, a Dutch, wood-fired tug boat with a built-in hot tub, is cozy and quaint-looking, it defies American protocol by not being the size and price of a luxury SUV. Thankfully, Hammacher Schlemmer recognized these...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$25.18 from Amazon »

This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$99.95 from Bass Egg »

I received a Bass Egg vibration speaker of my own yesterday, and although it looks more like an egg that has been cut in half with both pieces inverted and then fused back together than an egg freshly ejected by a hen (it...

Friday, September 16, 2011
$1,299 from Makerbot »

If you're not familiar with 3D printers yet, it's time to start familiarizing yourself. A 3D printer actually "prints" an object you design on your computer by laying down successive layers of material. This offers the possibility...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$120 - $130 from QSTO »

With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$77.70 from Connox »

I love BBQ and I hate bending over, so I guess I'd classify the Balcony Barbecue as a dream come true. Apartment dwellers and people with limited space can take advantage of the simple mountable grill that hangs at a perfect...

Saturday, July 13, 2013
$14 from archer »

Archer's macho-scented room sprays have a lofty goal: putting a positive spin on the statement that a place smells like 5 guys living in a 2-bedroom apartment. Can they succeed? I don't know, but hauling out scents such as...

Monday, February 6, 2012
$3,920 from Real-f »

On a bad hair day, you might wear a wig. Now, on a bad face day, you can wear a REALFACE. REALFACE is a 3DPF--three-dimensional photo form--that elevates the powers of standard 3D printing, and combines them with 3D modeling....

Friday, November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100 from Shapeways »

Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face...

Bar
Thursday, November 7, 2013
$218.64 from Amazon »

I used to be secretly jealous of those incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Jagermeister. Then they all got replaced by incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Fireball. So now I'm jealous of Fireball chillers. At least...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
$35 from Amazon »

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and people who live in marble towers should watch out because...bombs away! MindWare's Q-Ba-Maze 2.0 is an interlocking system of brightly-hued cubes that tinkerers small...

Monday, January 7, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Why do people always diss Mark Wahlberg? He makes such quality movies with filthy-mouthed talking teddy bears. And from forth the cinematic masterpiece that was that Ted comes the the plush masterpiece that is this Ted. A...

Thursday, January 2, 2014
$19.49 from Amazon »

"I LOVE this. I was worried this would look tacky or cheap, but it really is awesome looking. Pleasantly surprised. Goes great with other wolf bathroom accessories I have." Thank you, Amazon reviewer Adelaide. Your assessment...

Sunday, October 7, 2012
$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors and trademark...

Saturday, March 2, 2013
$35 - $55 from Etsy »

Oh, how nice. A clock for people with no respect for others' time who like to turn their lack of responsibility and accountability into a big joke. Well, when I tell you to be at my place at 8 a.m. and you unapologetically...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011
$500 from Opulent Items »

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$295 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not wear...

Friday, September 28, 2012

Guy Laramee redefines the term "bookworm" with his extraordinary sculptural landscapes carved from encyclopedias and other volumes of formidable stature and heft. Mountains, canyons, meadows, Jordanian rock temples, all rush...

Saturday, July 20, 2013
$195 from Goorin Bros. »

I'm pretty sure Macklemore, that Caucasian rapper from the Pacific Northwest, spoke of this hat in his song about wearing your grampy's coat and purchasing clothes from a thrift shop. Funny how milliner Goorin Bros. can smack...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$23.44 - $40.62 from Etsy »

My Zombie Apocalypse plan is to collect things like hand grenades and hacksaws and tins of beans, and then collect them all in miniature charm versions to wear on a bracelet or necklace. Like, so I can show them off handily...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Part superhero transportation, part adult sized go kart, one thing is for sure, this is a suicide machine. But think what fun you'll have right up until the point of death! And then you can have all of your loved ones say...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Maybe the coolest thing about the Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle is that it's smaller than it looks. Like, I could sit on it and make it drive me around, profiting from its design as an all-electric workhorse with the precision...

Friday, August 17, 2012
$53 from Pixers »

Huh. Now this is interesting. And by "interesting" I mean, "I really hope I never show up to someone's house and see an entire room wallpapered in blood splatters." That's, like, some psycho housewife shit. Some Kathy Bates...

Monday, December 31, 2012
$19.76 from Amazon »

People who cannot read Japanese rejoice. Dark Horse Books and Nintendo have published an English version of The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, which is now available for pre-order. The Triforce unites and soars to the Western...

Friday, November 15, 2013
$37.90 from Etsy »

Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we...

Bar
Thursday, September 15, 2011
$25 from Chugbeers »

So long beer bong. Pump up to 24 ounces of cold, tasty, inhibition stealing beer down your gullet in less than two seconds with the Bierstick. It's like a 2x multiplier for having fun. You're gonna have fun anyway... why not...

Monday, September 24, 2012
$639.99 from Etsy »

Dragon slaying dudes saw their wicked set of leather armor featured a few months ago, so now, ladies, it's your turn. John McGovern is peddling this handcrafted Dragon Scale Leather Armor to badasses of the female persuasion....

Monday, June 17, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star Wars...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013
$14.99 from NYC Taxi Calendar »

See, ladies, why waste time exacting revenge upon your ex-boyfriend when you could be spending it pursuing one of these hot transportation professionals as your new boyfriend? The 2014 NYC Taxi Drivers Beefcake Calendar is...

Sunday, October 21, 2012
By: Flickr

Wayne Hussey and Carlyle Livingston, ye builders of the LEGO Bat Cave, I think you might win Batman Creations Fabricated by People Obsessed with the Dark Knight for 2012. Motorcycle suits be damned, I'd much rather have this...

Saturday, November 9, 2013
$299.95 from Amazon »

Could the people at Pizzacraft please define their use of the term "pronto" for me? Before I buy this outdoor pizza oven, whose photos suggest its cheesy, saucy, doughy output could rival that of the best pizza on earth, aka...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Discontinued

The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects on...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$199 - $776 from Canary »

Sandy D. Dude Product Tipped us off to the Canary user-controlled smart home security device with the pitch that it "will phone you if it notices unusual activity in your home," and, if that's not enough of a draw, you can...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$38.49 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

When it comes to living things, are you more into cultivating them, or popping them in the jaw? Icelandic industrial designer Hafsteinn Juliusson's live grass knuckles are brilliantly executed wearable flora for the half of...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$45.99 from Amazon »

The Swissmar girouette says it was devised to shave and curl Tete de Moine, a fancy cheese from Switzerland that probably costs $100 pound, but you can also use it to make byooteeful ribbons of chocolate, or on any old cheese...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$69.59 from Amazon »

Some people believe that a blaring alarm shattering the silence of our slumber and tearing our eyes open in the still-blackness of a winter morning isn't so good for the body. Philips, makers of the Wake-Up Light and alarm...

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

She's just been let loose to wreak havoc and revenge in Batman: Arkham City. Harley Quinn's equally deadly next stop? Ladies' legs. And this time, her weapon of choice is an explosive cocktail of Polyester and Spandex. Black...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

They call the leggings First Contact Sucks because some are of the opinion that Meeting other intelligent life forms for the first time could probably have gone a little better. What, better than KRA-KOOOOM!? But I love KRA-KOOOOM!...

Sunday, September 22, 2013

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Discontinued

Back in July, New Orleans natives Trey DeArk and Terence Green ran a Kickstarter project for their slick reappropriation of the iPhone 4/4S' built-in LED camera flash and iOS' LED Flash Alerts called FLASHr. Now they're back...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$16 from Firebox.com »

What is, a man who ate his daughter's 1st birthday cake without a fork, Alex? No? What is...a makeshift Fraggle mask? No? OK, then how about you just tell me why this man has neon pink goo smeared on his face, Mr. Trebek?...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
By: Blogspot

If they're gonna make us wear helmets when we ride our bikes, then we might as well make a powerful fashion statement while following their rules. Enter the R2D2 helmet. Girl has some skills. Pretty cute too....

Tuesday, March 27, 2012
$100k from Martin Jetpack »

The 2012 Martin Jetpack represents 30 years of research and development, a dozen or so prototypes tweaked and tested to sustain 30+ minutes of flight time at 63 mph, and over 4 long years of agonizing anticipation for the...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$9.94 from Amazon »

The definitive building block of food porn now has its own erotic cookbook. Fifty Shades of Bacon, about damn time. Right, ladies? 'Cause I know once you satiate your carnally voyeuristic instincts reading Fifty Shades of...

Friday, April 5, 2013
Discontinued

The lamp is a 1" black iron pipe and its fixture is a vintage recycled glass insulator and the Mario hovering above the decorative green pipe is the light pull! Sweeeeet! Mama! I need to borrow 199 dollars. And 35 cents. No...

Friday, March 30, 2012
$159.99 from Amazon »

Bathe with the stars! Well, the battery-operated, not the hydrogen and helium gas, kind. Or the Jennifer Lawrence/Ryan Gosling kind for that matter. Still, the Homestar Spa, a planetarium for the bathtub, hot tub, or indoor...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
$89.99 from Amazon »

OUYA creators Julie Uhrman and Yves Behar have said it best: There is nothing more gratifying than chillin' on the couch in Goodwill scrubs and a Nightwing hoodie, sipping on grape Fanta, and getting the news that the princess...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$1,650 - $1,750 from Squirrel »

Skydiving, BASE jumping, walking down the street: success in these extreme adventures isn't so much about having skills and balls as it is about having the right gear. For example, when I walk down the street, I just make...