What gift to give the people who gave you the gift of life? I've got a few Mom & Dad gift ideas for those of you who want to go beyond the Whitman's Sampler Boxes and bathrobes, jumbo cans of mixed nuts and multi-packs of golf balls this year. Here are my picks for the Best Gifts for Mom & Dad...

Play with Your Food Sports Mugs

$24 from Amazon »

Sports mugs with nets and baskets and goalposts and gloves to flick food into? Weeeee! As if marshmallows in hot chocolate and Fritos in chili weren't fun enough before!...

Sure Fuck Cologne & Fuck Me Perfume

$24.75 - $44 from SF Cologne »

Sure Fuck USA and the Sure Fuck Science Team have cooked up and calibrated a duo of scents--Sure Fuck Cologne and Fuck Me Perfume--for one express and guaranteed purpose: to get you f...ragrant. Sure Fuck Cologne and...

Nature's D*ck Pics 2018 Wall Calendar

$19.99 from Amazon »

Leave it to nature to penetrate our...hearts. The Nature's Dick Pics 2018 Wall Calendar takes us on a 12-month tour of some of the most striking rock formations Mother Nature ever created. When she was horny...

Raclette Cheese Melting Machine

$57.11 from Amazon »

"Alexa, add raclette cheese to the list of tasty foods that are going to make me distastefully fat this season." Would you like me to add the Nutri-Chef cheese melting machine to your cart?...

Gravity Museum Tabletop Space Exploration Kit

The Gravity Museum is a hands-on catalogue of the gravitational forces acting on the planets in our solar system. Created by Kristoph Krisjans, who also brought us the Moondrop gravity-defying fidget toy, the Gravity...

Tokaido Board Game

$49.95 from Amazon »

In Tokaido, board game designer Antoine Bauza takes his award-winning artwork skills to Japan's East Sea Road. Two to five travelers will journey along the undulating road in hopes of discovery its treasures and natural...

Twisty Glass Blunt

$44.99 from 7pipe »

The first time I saw 7pipe's Twisty Glass Blunt was in a video with a shot of a lady taking a hit off one and then blowing out birthday candles. Good stuff in, bad stuff out, and now we eat cake!...

A Secret Santa exchange at the office, a White Elephant party amongst friends, or a long overdue payback to your brother for sending you that Christmas card that played "Jingle Bells" for 3 hours straight. There plenty of reasons to buy funny, quirky, or borderline not very nice gifts for selected...

Goats in Trees 2018 Calendar

$10.76 from Amazon »

Too bad the 2018 Goats in Trees calendar doesn't come with sound effects. Assuming the crazy SOBaaaahs that hoof it up trunks and balance on limbs are the same crazy SOBaaaahs that scream, that is. But imagine it: every...

Oral Rehydration Salts

$13.99 from Amazon »

Oral rehydration salts should part of everyone's survival kit. Especially your survival kit for New Year's Eve. And Christmas Eve. And the office holiday party with the open bar. And your friend Cornelius' Ugly Christmas...

Firebiner Carabiner & Firestarter

$19.99 from Outdoor Element »

Half-carabiner...half-firestarter. But stronger than both. Ahhh, the Firebiner hybrid is a multi-tool straight out of Underworld...

Beardaments - Beard Ornaments

$8.99 from Amazon »

If Santa approved of beard ornaments I think he would have invented Beardaments - or at least worn some - himself. Unless he's just leaving Beardaments to those they can really benefit. To all the lumberjacks and hipsters...

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Village

$17.99 - $129.99 from Amazon »

You can go all out Clark Griswold and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on your holiday decorating this year without risking falling off the roof or running up a thousand-dollar electrical bill. Just make yourself...

Chill-O-Matic Automatic Drink Chiller

$25.13 from Amazon »

The Chill-O-Matic is for when your friend Cornelius takes the last sodie from the fridge and doesn't. Put. More. In! Cornelius, you jackass! It's like, it's like...what's that, Sugar Lips? Huh. She-Ra: Princess of Power...

Night Vision Driving Glasses

$24.02 - $28.97 from Amazon »

Sorry, night vision driving glasses won't help you cruise around in the pitch black all stealthy like a Navy SEAL. In fact, these yellow tint lenses aren't meant for predominantly dark conditions at all. They're for reducing...

Teva Ember Moc Slippers

$43.75 - $69.95 from Amazon »

Teva's Ember Moc slippers might have Dad Joke written all over them, but I don't care. I want some. Teva says they're like sleeping bags for your feet. Who can resist sleeping bags for your feet?! Not me...

M8 Cube Cage Mini Drone with HD Camera

$41.99 from Amazon »

Clumsy people who dream of drone ownership, the M8 mini drone is here to make your dreams come true. Not only is this little quadcopter small, nimble, and light enough to throw in a bag for impromptu flights and photo...

Automaton Wall Clocks

$39.90 - $149 from Amazon »

Automaton clocks originate not from a love of steampunk or time, gears at work or the inner workings of machines - though one of those may be the reason you're drawn to them. Automaton roots are practical: one day, their...

WORX ZipSnip Cutting Tool

$44.98 from Amazon »

"ZipSnip" sounds a little meek for what WORX's beast of a cutting tool says it can do. The motorized blade with precision handling steps in where you'd normally use scissors or a box blade, but operates like a mini circular...

Great City Maps

$20.21 from Amazon »

"Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see." Know who said that? It wasn't Christopher Columbus, or Mark Twain, or Rick...

AncestryDNA - DNA Ancestry Test Kit

$99 from Amazon »

AncestryDNA, where did I come from? Well kids, it's a lot more complicated than the stork, and it's a lot more complex than the birds and the bees. The AncestryDNA genetic testing kit helps curious boys and girls discover...

Giveaway Closed

Giveaway: Korchmar Full Grain American Leather Backpack

Korchmar Full Grain American Leather Backpack Giveaway Winner: Congratulations to Brain M. of Cameron, MO, winner of the Korchmar Full Grain American Leather Backpack. Thanks to all entrants, and be sure to check the...

In this year's compilation of The Best Gifts for Women I tried to include what a girl wants. What a girl needs. Whatever makes her happy, sets her free. And, fine, a few things that, if she owned, might benefit me too...