A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, December 30, 2012
$16.99 - $20.99 from Amazon »

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked warrior's...

Friday, February 24, 2012
Discontinued

A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG and...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

And I thought it couldn't get any better than R2-D2 measuring cups. Well, really, R2-D2 measuring cups are better than a Death Star cutting board, if for no other reason than their deconstruct/reconstruct Russian doll attributes, but replacing my current slab of wood with a Death Star worktop saver will still be a crucial step towards transforming my mama's kitchen into the ultimate shrine to Star...

Bar
Thursday, November 21, 2013
$26 from Shapeways »

A bird in the hand is worth...nowhere near as much to me as a shot of Fireball in the hand. Birds are dirty and carry avian flu and salmonella. Even some of the cooked ones. Ahem, chicken. But hands. Hands are the poster child...

Friday, August 16, 2013
$4,497 from Iron Man Statue »

Outstanding. Not just that it's a life-size Mark 42 statue from Iron Man 3, but that whomever forged it deemed "life-size" to mean "Robert Downey Jr.-size", which is actually more like garden gnome-size. Good thing Iron Man...

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$70.71 from Grand Illusions »

The trickery of prisms strikes again! Here two hunks of Dove plexiglass fit over a pair of glasses' eyepieces to invert all images the wearer sees. Reversing Goggles make for interesting school science experiments, as in the above video, as well as fun ways of flooding oneself with frustration, or screwing with people who are high....

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$45 from Etsy »

Panda bears have a notoriously low sex drive in captivity. Some of them don't even seem to know how to do it. Zookeepers must spend countless hours showing pandas bear porn and demo videos to light the fire below their bellies*....

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Discontinued

Sometimes people do stupid shit, such as get extremely drunk and ornery on the 4th of July and refuse to respond to reason and jump off the deck of a Carver 54 motor yacht...twice...without taking their brand new iPhones out...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker, Catwoman...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
$499.99 from Urban Mercenaries »

F nuclear codes and attacks. Booze, cards, Red Bull, cash, mints, and first aid are a real man's real tickets to power and life-altering--or at least night-altering--decisions. The briefcase. The weapons. The Football. Reinvented...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$15 from Brando »

This USB lighter with a UV light for counterfeit bill detection should be a pretty sweet combo for drug dealers. Get handed a $100, see it's a fake on the spot, burn it to bits, kick the scammer's ass to next Tuesday, and...

Sunday, March 24, 2013
$595 from Burglar Blaster »

Burglar Blaster, the DIY Home Security System, Scenario 1: It's late. You're in the living room watching your DVR of Michigan about to bone it in the tournament after two rounds of respectable action (sorry, Cornelius, but...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$30 from Lumi »

My brother used to screen print T-shirts. He made me one with a Charlie Brown-looking assembly of twigs and a lone ornament that said, Merry Christmas Plant a Tree. And another with Danielle Fishel's face that said, Topanga...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$10.66 from Amazon »

In this case, I think that inserting an eyedropper as a serving utensil for One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce isn't more than just a kitschy packaging ploy. Reviews of the habanero- and scotch bonnet-infused mouth incinerator...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$59.99 from Amazon »

According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy truffled...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$3.33 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$1,799.95 from Amazon »

The Mojo UFO is a Jetsons/Back to the Future II/Doctor Who/impenetrable shelter from the zombie virus outbreak sort of tent. Made of virtually indestructible space-age textile Cuben Fiber, the 2-person Mojo condenses to a...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes sense....

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Longboard Stroller: the future of kids and mobility. The Longboard Stroller: because every kid deserves to eat pavement at the hands of a parent who didn't see the raised edge in the sidewalk. The Longboard Stroller: Naw...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$44.99 from ThinkGeek »

Doctor Who's time-traveling spacecraft TARDIS has a new assignment: hold your soaps, shampoos, razors, and other grooming gear so they don't litter up or fall off the ledges of your shower. Despite the looks of it, the TARDIS...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$15 from LOTR Project »

Featuring characters from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, I'd say The Periodic Table of Middle Earth would rank very close to the top of a list of Geekiest Items a Human Being Could Own. (I specified human being because...

Thursday, April 17, 2014
$13.99 from Amazon »

OXO says, "There's nothing as luscious as a ripe mango." OXO obviously has never seen Kate Upton's rack. Or Kelly Brook's. Or Christina Hendricks'. However, I do agree that mangoes are in the luscious family. The luscious...

Sunday, September 30, 2012
Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Friday, March 8, 2013
$2,499 - $4,999 from AutoHome »

I was just thinking how awesome it would be if for once I could wake up on the roof of my car on purpose. Good lookin' out, AutoHome tents. The roof top--or truck bed--pop ups store flat overhead while driving, and then (allegedly)...

Monday, April 28, 2014
$12 from Amazon »

Taco trucks are the best. Even the one that gave me 28 hours of food poisoning that one time was pretty tasty before the eruptive vomiting and diarrhea set in. Mmm, blackened Mahi or carne asada on a crispy corn tortilla....

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The glass-half-full perspective would admire and appreciate Charles Lushear's new collection of Batman tables as the tasteful approach to geekery that they are. The glass-half-empty perspective would hiss and gripe at DC Comics...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
$18.25 from Amazon »

Unlike a BLT without the bacon or a stripper without the boobies, a jump rope without the rope might actually be an improvement upon the original. First of all, a lot of people are good at jumping up and down (yes, I'm definitely...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Estonian sculptor Mati Karmin has been creating art for over 25 years, but his marine mine furniture and decor are perhaps his most breathtaking work to date, and indeed some of the most unique pieces you'll ever take out...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$71,633 from Switch Modern »

Really this couch is called the Aster Papposus Sofa, but who knows what the hell an aster papposus is? I can't even pronounce those words together, and have just resorted to reading them as Snuffleupagus. To whom the couch...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Animal Chair collection constitutes a diverse range of species, from mammals to reptiles, and even including insects. Each creation retains the animal's natural vitality whilst being totally biological accurate in their...

Thursday, April 24, 2014
$9.95 from Amazon »

I don't know about the logistics of fitting a mug with a sippy cup top in my car's cup holder, but I do know about the logistics of being able to walk down the street drinking from my favorite ninja mug without sloshing and...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
$895 - $3,401 from Monkeylectric »

MonkeyLectric upgrades its previous version of Monkey Light LED madness for bicycle tires with Monkey Light Pro, an installation of customized, downloaded graphics and animations that turn two wheels into two tickets to vehicular...

Friday, March 2, 2012
$345 from RcSuperhero »

A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the bars...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The desire to own an OHEA Super Bed transcends mere laziness because, I'm sorry, I don't care what kind of draught horse you are, making the bed is an enormous pain in the ass. Think of all the people who trip over themselves...

Saturday, December 8, 2012
$19.99 from CritSuccess »

I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

Why is it that every photo I could find of this Comfort-U Total Body Pillow depicts a lady using it? Do men not want to experience the soothing, womb-like coziness of a giant stuffed parabola? Do we eschew the possibility...

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Club swingers...not to mention club chuckers and club smashers into the sides of golf carts...can all benefit from this SwingTIP and MobiCoach instruction combination. The SwingTIP, a Bluetooth-enabled motion sensor, attaches...

Monday, November 7, 2011
$22 from Shapeways »

Hey moms! Check it out... No more searching for that perfect stocking-stuffer for your teenage son. Customize these to say whatever it is you'd like... that's 5 characters or less. This is actually a pretty creative idea...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$899.99 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who still...

Bar
Saturday, September 14, 2013
$171 from Etsy »

A set of 5 beer glasses, each of which has been crafted explicitly to cater to the nuances of a particular style of beer, is kind of pretentious and off-putting, right? But what if the set also came with a sense of self-awareness...

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$11.09 from Amazon »

Grow Glow Snow! It's not a request, it's an order, son! Get a bowl! Get some water! Watch it expand to 100 times its starting size, just like a diaper that's been pissed in*! And, if you're a real man, turn off the lights...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Giveaway: Rhino Shield Screen Protectors 67
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of any 2 Rhino Shield impenetrable screen protectors, courtesy of Dude and Rhino Shield creators, Evolutive Labs (up to an $80 value). The Shields have been fabricated to fit and protect smartphones...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$26.55 from Amazon »

Sometimes an alarm just isn't enough. It's too easy to press snooze and get another 10 minutes in. Before you know it, you're late. Here's your solution....

Monday, March 19, 2012
$8.72 from Amazon »

Kiddie classic Pat the Bunny has been zombified. Pat the Zombie is a morbid adult spoof on the revered literary tome that famously commands children to touch it, scratch it, sniff it, and put it in your mouth. Only this time...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$14.95 from First Aid Flame »

Movie stuntman and stunt coordinator Bob Bragg developed the First Aid Flame for 2 reasons. 1) He could. Having honed his savvy in fire-related stunts, Bragg knew how to fabricate and manipulate the combustion process well....

Saturday, February 11, 2012
$100 from iPatch »

Get ready to radioactivate your iPhone. British iPhone "enabler" iPatch is set to release a glow modification for the rear apple on iPhone 4S models within the month. That means incoming calls, texts, alarms, and other alerts...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$89.99 from Quirky »

Modular. It's going to take tactical to the octagon for the title of Most Profitable Buzzword. Modular cell phones, modular pens, and now a modular pocket knife. Quirky Inventor James Robinson's Swift is Swiss Army gone piecemeal....

Tuesday, April 15, 2014
$17.99 from Amazon »

I've had one of these Hamilton Beach single-serving blenders for years, and although it's not the highest quality blending product ever made, I use it faithfully for 3 reasons:...

Friday, January 20, 2012
$16.17 from Amazon »

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off like...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$99 from Siva Cycle »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts to...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

United Nuclear's Nuclear Element Glow Soaps will scrub you clean. Clean and genetically modified. Maybe like Spider-Man. Maybe like Sloth from The Goonies....

Thursday, September 13, 2012
$3,500 from Peter Lynn Kites »

I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long...

Friday, March 28, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

One thing I like to do is buy stuff. A lot of this stuff requires a charger. And none of it--none of it!--ever seems to require the same charger. Anker's compact and tidy 5-port USB charger claims to have enough ports, both...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Discontinued

If this bed's a rocking then... it's probably a cool new rocking bed. The Mood Rocking Bed is an indoor / outdoor bed built inside of a cylinder shaped frame. It can be left to rock or freeze in any position with rubber stops....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Although Agent BloodRayne used a similar arm blade to exterminate vampires, this non-digitized replica is made of stainless steel, not silver, so it will be of little assistance in your mission to annihilate Edward Cullen...

Monday, June 4, 2012
$149.99 - $399.99 from Simple.TV »

Simple.TV is the latest in the vicious volley of cable companies screwing us, and us screwing them right back. For those fed up and ready to disavow cable altogether...but bummed about not being able to watch Modern Family...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're into swinging and threesomes, the Infinity Hammock...will do nothing to help your cause. Unless you're into the kind of swinging threesomes wherein each party has his or her own personal space amidst a cocoon of...

Friday, January 11, 2013
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold...

Friday, May 4, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

What I want to know is, if my friend Gary uses brute muscular force to bounce one helium-and-compressed-air-filled Skyball to its peak height of 75 feet, and my other friend Mitch drops a second Skyball from a balcony 75 feet...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$435 from Hovding »

The Swedish Hovding has a lofty goal: un-dorkify bicycle helmets without compromising their ability to keep bicycle riders un-dead. With claims of being one of the market's safest helmets, Hovding trades in the foam-filled...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$700k from RaptorGTR »

The Mosler RaptorGTR compares itself to the Bugatti Veyron SuperSport and Lamborghini Aventador. But only to point out that, in terms of power-to-weight ratio, it is better than both of them. (Though in terms of marketing...

Friday, May 24, 2013
$69 - $129 from Etsy »

In addition to offering a bunch of sick shades, sunglasses maker Kevin of Neon Nightlife also offers some suggestions on how best to use his eye-catching glowing designs. These include:...

Wednesday, January 29, 2014
$22.50 - $30 from Etsy »

Jeff Hornung of The Walnut Log handcrafts all of his works from fine and unique woods. In the case of our featured pen series, he incorporates some fine and unique objects as well: bullets. What normally fire out of barrels...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
$11.51 from Amazon »

Now everyone can engage in Ninja battles and perform the ol' sword down the throat trick. If you start choking during the latter, just calm down. The Samurice should melt quickly, both freeing up your air passageway and imparting...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$59.99 - $64.99 from Amazon »

Defining characteristics of Hoth's tauntauns include a 4-pack of nostrils and a foul body odor. So. Who wants to wear a tauntaun zip-up hoodie? Stamped on the inside by a tauntaun intestines lining? On the upshot, I hear the...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014
$200 from SUCK UK »

I think someone should make a globe out of bubble wrap so that every time I visit a different country I can gratifyingly pop it off the world. Get to work on that, someone, will you? And in the interim, I guess this cork globe...

Monday, March 10, 2014
$5.97 from Amazon »

That Striker Hand Tools' hands-free Magnetic Light Mine looks like an Everlasting Gobstopper is just the cherry on top of this cherry-sized task light. For illumination in tight spaces during repairs, tinkering, and upgrades...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that, when ingested, releases perfumed scents through its host's pores. So instead of spritzing dewy showers of juniper and orange blossom onto your body, you'll be able to sweat aromatic beads...