The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions

Sold Out from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

Barocook Flameless Cooker

$39.99 from Amazon »

What kind of mad Japanese scientist concoction is in these Baropacks that makes them boil water with no supplemental heating element? No fire, no gas, no electricity, not even the sun. Now I can make spaghetti & meatballs...

T3 Tactical Triage & Auto Rescue Tool

$39.99 from StatGear »

The T3 Tactical Triage & Auto Rescue Tool came forth into the world from the cranial loins of NY City Paramedic Avi Goldstein. Or maybe he just picked it to be part of his online store StatGear's survival inventory. Either...

Marty McFly Nikes

By: Nike »

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair...

Handmade Wood & Aluminum USB Charger

$38.99 from Amazon »

BREAKING NEWS: Boutique Design Meets Charging Powerhouse! Also, Thundersnow! in Boston! Dude, this weekend just keeps getting trippier. First all the dead flowers and rotting meat I got from my ex for Valentine's Day...

Horse Head Squirrel Feeder

$13.20 from Amazon »

We've seen dudes with horse head masks and we've seen squirrels with big head feeders, so to complete the triangle of masks and garden critter nourishment, Archie McPhee obviously had to create a Horse Head Squirrel Feeder....

Cogburn CB4 Hunting Bike

$2,199.99 from Scheels »

Well here's one way for mountain bikers to take out the competition during races. Can't beat 'em with speed and skillful maneuvering? No problem. Just haul out your crossbow from the scabbard on Cogburn's CB4 hunting...

3D Latte Art Maker

Sculpting 3D bears and puppy dogs out of foamed milk to float in a latte seems like a lot of trouble to me. Trouble that will be ruined the instant the jackhole I went to all the trouble for decides she is going to drink...

Railroad Spike Knives

Discontinued

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes...

SOScharger

$49.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

If I'm using an SOScharger it means my phone died. Again. And my backup battery also died. Again. And now all I have left to make tonight's booty call happen are my own two hands. No, that's not good enough, I already...

Eco-Egg Automatic Mini Washing Machine

Sold Out from Amazon »

Could your days of quarter hoarding and letting sweat-saturated clothes pile up until your entire room smells like a festering colony of bacteria because you can't do laundry until you have a full load be over? Eco-Egg...

Egg Minder - App-Enabled Egg Tray

$8.99 from Amazon »

The Wink Egg Minder is a smart egg tray, which at first I thought might be taking this Internet of Things thing way too far. A Nest thermostat for smart home heating, sure. That could have a huge impact on cost and energy...

Rolled Omelet Pan

$24.88 from Amazon »

This Rolled Omelet Pan could be an alternative to the Bubble Waffle pan for the gluten intolerant. Or an accompaniment to the Bubble Waffle pan for the culinarily adventurous who also could have beaten Joey Chestnut in...

Rhino Shield iPhone 6 Screen Protector

$19.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get a Rhino Shield impenetrable scratch & impact screen for your new iPhone 6! Just $19.99, 33% off its $30 retail value, from Dude Exclusives....

TIK Ultra-Thin Bike Chain Keychain

$49 from Kickstarter »

According to the TIK keychain and the sagging bulge in my left pants pocket, 75% of a key's mass is useless. So TIK creator Daniel Farkas hacked off the proverbial fat, attaching only the meaty parts of his keys to a...

Energy Shisha Caffeine Vapor Pen

$11.79 from Energy Shisha »

While drinking coffee in public isn't forbidden...yet...with the recent boom in vaporizer popularity, it's not surprising that caffeine has hopped inside the barrel too. Energy Shisha is an electronic vapor pen that outputs...

Pancake Pen

$10 from Amazon »

I know I'm ur sunshine, Mama. You don't have to make me pancakes that spell it out for...no, wait! But I mean, since you're already almost finished with them anyway, you should probably just keep going. Mmmm, we have...

Shift Self-Bending Paperclip

$55 from Ellusionist »

You know who loves magic tricks? Kids. You know who else loves magic tricks? Hopefully all the women I invite home for a night of fine 7-layer dip and shots of Sauza Silver after I show them my magic trick....

FakeTV Burglar Deterrent

Sold Out from Amazon »

Home automation, cameras that let you play with your dog while you're at work, smartphone-controlled burglar alarms...I just want something simple. Something Kevin McCallister would have put to good use in Home Alone....

NES Cartridge Cutting Board

$40 - $50 from Etsy »

Dave Stencil of Cutting Boredom has a place for you to slice and dice your mushrooms. You know, in case you prefer to eat them bite by bite instead of chest bumping or head butting them to get bigger. His NES cartridge...

The World's Fastest Amphibious Car

While I'd settle for the World's Second Fastest Amphibious Car...or any amphibious car my mama's up for purchasing...the World's Fastest Amphibious Car is definitely my #1 choice. This beauty earns its title, and its...

Doom Hero Rifle

Discontinued

Here's something awesome I did yesterday: drove to the coffee shop, parked my car in the garage underneath, regaled you with a small handful of product descriptions, and then walked home. Boy was I surprised a couple...

PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella

$149 - $219 from PowerShade »

I can hear the naysaying negative Nellies now: The beach is for disconnecting!; Can't you enjoy nature for an hour without your laptop?; Why don't you just stay home, A-hole? Um, because I would like to get a tan, and...

Solar-Powered Anywhere Fridge

$199 - $499 from Anywhere Fridge »

A fridge, a freezer, a solar-powered wonder child called the Anywhere Fridge. Portable for camping and sturdy and weather-resistant for transport or permanent outdoor installation, this wheeled powerhouse of food preservation...

Prank Pack Fake Gift Boxes

$7.99 from Amazon »

Liven up the holidays--at least for yourself--with Prank Packs, fake gift boxes with intricately detailed photos and explanations of products just bizarre enough to be ridiculous, but just believable enough in enterprising...

Thug Kitchen

$11.95 from Amazon »

Thug Kitchen, in the piped icing vein of What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner, has parlayed a recipe blog and the gratuitous use of profanity into a cookbook. And although I'm pretty sure noting Thug Kitchen on the...

Chemist's Spice Rack

$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

I'm trying to think of a way to spin the Chemist's Spice Rack into something besides the perfect gift for a complete culinary geek, but...donut hole. Then again, as evidenced by the comments on ThinkGeek's listing of...

Cyntur JumperPack Car Jump Starter

$99.99 from Amazon »

Portable jump starters could be the next wearables in the how-many-more-of-these-are-they-going-to-come-out-with department. Luckily for Cyntur: 1) We haven't gotten to that point yet; and 2) Most of the packs juiced...

.68 Caliber Paintball Pistol

$219 - $229.99 from Amazon »

Tippmann calls their TiPX a "true military-style paintball pistol", which is cool, but also surprises me because I have always been under the impression that the military uses guns that fire real bullets. Compact, lightweight...

MMA Throwdown Bed

A great way to settle arguments between siblings, the MMA throwdown bed gives parents the option to let their children battle to the death before night night time. No biting or hair pulling please....

Tricera Hi-Tops

$88 - $99 from Tricera Hi-Tops »

Archaix Laboratories makes a big claim. According to the Brooklyn-based company, they have "finally found a solution to the problem that has plagued modern society: the lack of wearable dinosaurs." And appropriately...

Wocket Smart Wallet

$149.99 from NXT-ID Inc. »

Is that a Wocket in your pocket, or are you just expecting me to pay for dinner? Like the Coin card consolidator, Wocket is an electronic wallet replacement that stores personal information from all of your credit and...

Instant Home Marijuana Test Kit

$7.75 from Amazon »

My company doesn't do drug testing because it recognizes that recreational weed use has far less of an impact on an employee's ability to perform well at work than, say, the office kegerator that gets tapped every Friday....

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Super Mario Magic Billet Boxes

Giveaway: Super Mario Magic Billet Boxes

Stash your stash and stupefy untrained fingers Super Mario-style! Enter to win a set of Magic Billet Boxes fashioned after the legendary Nintendo bricks and ? blocks (a $240 value)!...

Atlas of Prejudice: Mapping Stereotypes

$15.83 from Amazon »

Atlas of Prejudice: Mapping Stereotypes is a compilation and continuation of the Mapping Stereotypes project created by visual artist Yanko Tsvetkov. That's a curt, dispassionate way of saying the Atlas of Prejudice stockpiles...

Who Tall Are You? Mirror

Discontinued

On the one hand, we look at people like Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp and envy their posh celebrity lives. But on the other, we look at the Who Tall Are You? Mirror and wonder how the H-E double hockey sticks they get...

Mega Hammock

Discontinued

You say tomayto, I say tomahto. You say Crrribbean, I say Caribbeeean. You say roomy, I say...orgy. Here is a great big hammock. A Mega Hammock. The listing specifies that it comfortably fits 3 people, but I think it...

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Giveaway Entry Is Closed
Game of Thrones Dragon Rings & Eggs

Giveaway: Game of Thrones Dragon Rings & Eggs

By: Etsy »

Game of Thrones fans, help lessen the withdrawal and despair that will follow this week's Season 4 finale. Enter to win a set of handmade Game of Thrones Dragon Rings & Eggs, complete with a baby Drogon, Viserion, and...

The Married Kama Sutra

$13.60 from Amazon »

The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual extols both the wild and nuanced interactions of married life, and categorizes them--with illustrations--into the next echelon of the ancient Indian guide to...

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Giveaway Entry Is Closed
foc.us tDCS Headset for Gamers

Giveaway: foc.us tDCS Headset for Gamers

By: foc.us »

Enter to win the foc.us, a brand new transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) headset. Designed to increase brain plasticity and make synapses fire faster, foc.us aims to whittle gamers' minds into impenetrable...

Zombie Ammunition

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies....

Dovo Classic Straight Razor

$115.99 - $123 from Amazon »

Dovo Steelware was founded in Solingen, Germany around 1906, and began producing implements of male face grooming in the 1930s. Nearly 100 years later the company is still supporting and still forging its classic straight-edge...

Stumble Upon Carpet Edge Table

Alessandro Isola made a carpet table. Like, he took what happens when some klutz or foot shuffler catches his toe on a rug and flips up its edge stumbling forward, and he sculpted that edge into a coffee table. And then...

Kershaw Scallion Knife

$37.36 - $64.81 from Amazon »

Sure, the Scallion Knife by Kershaw comes in black. But the real draw of this high-performance pocket knife? It also comes in...no, not rainbow. RainBLOW. Now I don't know if that stylization of the word is supposed to...

Invisible Glove Protective Hand Coating

$7.31 from Amazon »

My immediate impression is that applying BlueMagic Invisible Glove to my hands would feel like covering them in a thin layer of Elmer's Glue. That thought gives me the willies and makes me want to vomit. Maybe the Invisible...

Uncuff Links

Cufflinks that brandish all-caps disclaimers and warnings? My interest is piqued. Sparrows, peddler of lock picks and other Houdini-style tomfoolery, introduces Uncuff Links, wrist adornments that inconspicuously incorporate...

Soft Claws for Cats - Anti-Scratching Aid

$9.99 - $15.02 from Amazon »

Listen, I approve of anything that will prevent a cat from slashing up my face just because I had the nerve to pet it after it came and laid down on my head. But I feel like some crazy cat people...well, let's call them...

Titanium Utility Ring

$385 from Boone Rings »

The next generation of bottle opener rings settles into a titanium home. With roommates. Designer Bruce Boone has thrown ultra-sharp twins Straight Blade and Serrated Blade, wily bad boy, Saw, and ...yahtzee!...the dapper...

IceMule High Performance Soft Coolers

$59.95 - $68.95 from Amazon »

In the past I've definitely been known to shove a 6-pack in my backpack in preparation for a hike or particularly long day at school, but I never expected to be able to enjoy it cold when the 10 a.m. thirst took hold....

Prima Cinema - Theater Releases at Home

$35k from Prima Cinema »

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who...

You Have to F**king Eat

$12.30 from Amazon »

If I had a kid I think I would be way more concerned about it not going the fuck to sleep than not fucking eating because, I mean, the hours from bedtime to the ass crack of dawn when the kid inevitably wakes back up...

T8X Robotic Spider

$499 - $749 from Robugtix »

I know. It's just a remote control spider, right? Fun for 5 minutes' worth of scaring Grandma, but otherwise unremarkable. And $499? Is that a joke?...

Carrot Cigarettes

 

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers...

Little Mermaid Ariel Costume

Discontinued

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit...

Alter Ego Football Gloves

Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter...

The One Ring Firepit

Sold Out from Etsy »

How do I plan to make it through the winter? Bohemian Alp Designs' Lord of the Rings One Ring firepit, many gallons of hot cider & whiskey, and a recording of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" warped to sound like Gollum is...

Google Chromecast HDMI Streaming Media Player

$35 from Amazon »

With its typical anything-you-can-do bravado, Google has built Chromecast, an HDMI streaming media player in the vein of Apple TV and Roku, but...you got it. Better. So they say....

MOTA iPhone 6 Charging Case

$35 from MOTA »

iPhones are the worst when it comes to draining battery power fast. Lately mine has always died at the best part of the adult movie clip I've been accidentally streaming too. No, seriously. All week long I've been faced...

Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar

Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Portal: No Escape

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning....

Sleeping Bag Sofa

I've slept on my sofa for the past 2-1/2 years. I've even slept in my sleeping bag on my sofa. But until now the two were not a happy combination, as the outsides of sleeping bags are slippery, and the heights of sofas...

Self Defense Shoelace Inserts

$15.98 from Amazon »

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense...

Rollie Egg Dog Maker

$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey?...

Flump Face - Your Photo on a Giant Marshmallow

$20.49 from Firebox.com »

Oh man, I cannot wait to toast my ex-girlfriend Karen's face over a roaring fire or blow it up in the microwave. Flump Face gives us the great pleasure of printing favorite pics of ourselves, the people we love, or the...

Bearded Year Transparent Overlay Calendar

$49 from Etsy »

I know we're almost halfway through January, but you still have, like, three hundred sixty...um...forty...like, a lot of days left in 2015 to 1) merit tracking by 2015 calendar and 2) grow a sick Arctic beard. Anna Marinenko's...

World's Tackiest Sweaters

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of...