A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, April 25, 2013
$79.99 from ThinkGeek »

Do I want a 5-foot foam sword with a 45-inch blade and beaming blue LEDs? Uh, does Cartman want some Cheesy Poofs? More importantly, is a rhetorical question referencing South Park still culturally relevant?...

Friday, March 9, 2012

Many of us used to think travel to and within the Galactic Republic was impossible due to its being make believe. But now we all know the truth that real Star Wars fans have always known: up until 2010, the Intergalactic Identity...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

I like designating what's mine and what's yours, particularly when what's mine is bigger/better/faster/closer to the front/equipped with a hot tub. Eugenie2's pillowcases are a terrific example of and flawless conformance to my preferences in action....

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$12.99 from Perpetual Kid »

I love how, along with depicting the unsavory image of a fat person spilling out of his jeans in a way that still makes me want to take a big bite out of his moist and caky excess fat, these muffin top molds also stay true...

Sunday, February 10, 2013

While being on the receiving end of a buzzing, pesky winged bug's attentions can prompt minor fits of rage, I feel like if I could control the insect, and make it evoke these sentiments and actions from those who are not me...

Monday, November 19, 2012
$60 from Etsy »

Why be the good guy or the bad guy when you can be both? The Batbane Mask, by Ministry of Masks, is a gnarly, handcrafted portmanteau word for the face. Batman fused with Bane fused with latex rubber. Does it get any better? Wait, wearing it during Thanksgiving dinner with your judgy aunt and snooty cousins--oh yeah, it does. The full-head Batbane creations are all individually forged and painted...

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$79 from Kickstarter »

I'm not sure I approve of the Bosse Tools ethos. An ergonomic shovel for driving through dirt and clearing snow that precludes its users from walking away from the grunt work with tweaked backs, sore wrists, and gimp arms?...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$279 from GNR 8 »

The Mirror 180's joined splices allow it to tilt and reposition such that it reflects many a splendid thing. Namely, a more comprehensive view of me. One half of the mirror angles into 3 different positions, suiting a bevy...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$299 - $1,999 from i'm Smart »

In 5 words or less: Italian-made Android wrist candy. i'm Watch pours smartphone functionality--from calls to texts to calendars to apps--into a sleek personal effect forged from your choice of aluminum, titanium, gold, or...

Friday, December 20, 2013
$295 from 94Fifty »

The 94Fifty basketball is so smart it can measure any force you apply to it, instantly output data about your game, hone your shooting skills, coordinate competitions against other players, and diss your mama for being so...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014
$19.95 - $24.95 from Amazon »

Wine Folly has produced a series of infographic prints to assist in the casual wine drinker's oeno-education, and to give the wine savvy a sense of pride in seeing all the minutiae living inside their heads poured onto posters...

Saturday, January 5, 2013
$14.85 from Amazon »

Omnio's WOW-Keys merges the PC/Mac world of full-size QWERTY with the iPhone. Type on the keyboard to input text into an iPhone, or to give commands to a computer from the iPhone. Or just use it as a standard desktop keyboard...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$49.50 from Amazon »

Oh I'll buy a Senz stormproof smart umbrella alright. I'll also take one of those red-lipped brunettes in a cocktail dress to valiantly shield from torrential downpours and winds of up to 50 mph with it....

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$19.95 - $39.95 from MudJug »

I personally don't dip because I've always thought you have to be a baseball player or type of male who doesn't sob uncontrollably and beg for help from the Baby Jesus upon chewing anything that burns more than a stick of...

Thursday, July 26, 2012
Discontinued

I just cracked the ever-loving Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Alien vs. Predator, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem out of my knee cap on the corner of a coffee table, but somehow, as I gaze upon the Chesthugger...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

Saturday, November 2, 2013
$26.99 from ThinkGeek »

Shake it, shake it. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Guess what! The next time you have to do that because you get a pesky dingle berry whilst sitting on the toilet, the Polaroll toilet paper holder will be there to provide...

Wednesday, May 2, 2012
$13.06 from Amazon »

Since most of us would rather be wet than dead, this water balloon variation on Russian Roulette is likely to generate a bit more participation and enthusiasm as a try-your-luck party game than its bullet-based counterpart....

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$4.24 from Amazon »

Noah Levenson took 15 principles from MTV2's Guy Code and funneled them into his daily life in an attempt to realize his full potential as a man. The result? He has overtaken the body of Chuck Norris. Guy Code: Unleash Your...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Discontinued

My mama says this sloth ring reminds her of me, and although I'm not exactly sure what that means, based on my extensive knowledge of the movie Seven, which I discussed at great length over beers with an abnormally high ABV...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$11.15 from Amazon »

The Snuggie Sutra, Lex Friedman and Megan Morrison's how-to guide to fleecing up your sex life, brings 3 things to mind. 1) The lingering misery of winter. 2) March Madness. 3) Yam bags....

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$27 - $57 from gnov8 »

Hold it like a pen, use it like a mouse, make the stuff you draw on your computer look less like it was birthed by the hand of someone who just chased a triple espresso macchiato with a Red Bull. Gordon Stewart designed the...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$39.81 from Amazon »

This is some real MacGyver shit right here. This kit has absolutely everything. And even though Bear Grylls was found to be a big fake and a liar and a fraud and gay, this survival kit will save your ass the next time you'r...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
$109.99 from GearUp »

"Crovel", like "spork", is a portmanteau word. It combines "Shovel" and "Crap! I'm gonna get impaled, sawed, and scooped all at once!" GearUp's latest in a respectable line of survival tools, the Crovel Tactical weighs only...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$4 from Etsy »

I can't tell if these temporary tattoos are attractive or look like someone taped a doily to your eye, but I think girls will like them, so as a nod to girls, I'm going to award Man Nga Liu's makeup alternatives relatively...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$41.49 from Amazon »

Here's a way to increase the functionality--oh, no, sorry, "unlock the power" of your Windows 8 PC. The Logitech rechargeable touchpad expands upon the standard built-in trackpad both dimensionally with its large, 5.9" x 5.7"...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

To me (an art expert of the highest respect) this looks like something I would have seen in the movie The Mummy and it makes me feel scared. That's a first rate art critique right there. Tons of cool images in this gallery....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011
$149.99 from Demon Bells »

Just in case the implications of heaving a 72-pound concentrated mass of steel back and forth near your head doesn't scare you enough, DemonBells have added the creepy faces you see in your nightmares to the mix....

Friday, January 24, 2014
$8.89 from Amazon »

They call them the Booger Buddies. I call them the newest additions to my Super Bowl XLVIII meat buffet. Nothing like a squirt of mustard from the nostrils of an ooga-booga-looking monster (with impeccable oral hygiene) to...

Saturday, August 27, 2011
$34.99 from Amazon »

I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good odds....

Wednesday, October 3, 2012
$31.50 from Etsy »

Now that our taste for Dexter-flavored blood has been satiated, and Season 7 is in full swing, let's take a moment to review all of our favorite fictionalized serial kills. So in Season 1 there was that church choir master...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$29.99 from Jamboo Headphones »

Rock out with your co...nscientious bamboo and thread headphones out. Jamboo headphones add eco-friendly materials and stylized flair to what has become a fixture dangling from the ears of many a cool kid on campus, at the...

Friday, February 1, 2013
$150 from Pebble »

One of the most successful Kickstarter campaigns of all time, the Pebble E-Paper watch for iPhones and Androids is getting closer to large-scale production and sale. The self-proclaimed "infinitely customizable" timepiece...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I feel like the Treadwall--a rock wall on a treadmill-style conveyor belt--might be the ultimate example of something that appears to be really easy, but in practice makes 80% of its users look like complete assholes. Kind...

Thursday, July 5, 2012
$25 from Etsy »

These patriots heard the battle cry of Team America, and hollered back an even louder Fuck Yeah! From Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a Tron Light Cycle to Abe Lincoln wielding an M16 and giddy-upping on a grizzly bear to George...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

No one complain that SeaDuction's amphibious cabanas are available only at tropical resorts, and not for public purchase, because I know that even if they were up for general grabs, all I would hear is more complaints: "Cool...but...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Giveaway: HooToo TripMate Wireless Travel Router 43
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
$49.99 from Amazon »

Enter to win a HooToo Tripmate and turn your wired network wireless on the go for Internet access by multiple devices, file sharing, and, when batteries get low, a backup power bank. Read on to learn more about the portable...

Friday, April 27, 2012
Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent teenagers...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$117.60 from Garrett Wade »

Anyone else snicker at the Super-Penetration Shovel's name? Come on, we're all intelligent adults here and, as such, know that the most popular application for the word "penetration" does not involve unruly terrain in the...

Sunday, February 3, 2013
$489.37 from Amazon »

I prefer to use my coffee table to play old school Nintendo, but I understand there are some out there even older school than I am who are more down with using theirs to play foosball. By the way, to those under the age of...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$9.79 from Amazon »

I chose a pug to help convey the meaning of this Stop Eating Poop remedy for dogs because pugs both mow on their own turds and suck in general. OK listen. I love all nature's creatures. Mostly the human women kind, but all...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Everything tastes better when ingested directly from a mason jar. Fruit preserves. Pickled green beans. Molten chocolate cakes. Ole Smoky Moonshine. Apparently even music--ingestible aurally rather than orally--is a prime...

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Obviously I like this chess set because most of its pieces appear to have leapt right out of my VHS cassette of Beetlejuice, one of the best 80s movies ever, as evidenced by the fact that I am saying so right now. I sure hope...

Sunday, January 5, 2014
$33.34 from Amazon »

Oh good, it's Billy the Puppet poised to nod and smirk at me all day long. That mouth doesn't actually move, does it? And that tricycle doesn't actually roll, does it? What are the odds that a bobblehead from Saw arrives as...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$399 - $999 from Amazon »

This visual sales pitch for the Chilipad, a mattress cover that can cool or heat his and her respective halves of the bed, might be my favorite photo I've seen all summer, and no one is even naked or wielding a sword or dressed...

Monday, April 9, 2012
$59.95 - $69.95 from Prong »

Even as a stubbornly loyal flip phone user, I am overtaken by the brilliance of PocketPlug, a high grade polycarbonate iPhone case with a fully-integrated, retractable charger. And I hear the iPhone's battery power leaves...

Thursday, April 5, 2012
$14.99 from PocketShot »

Is that a shot of tequila in your pocket, or am I just happy to see you? Pocket Shots are flexible, stand-up pouches enshrining 50 ml servings of everyone's favorite 80-proof hard liquor varietals. Long flight? Long day at...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Discontinued

Digital passwords, encryption software, purity rings, and LDS allegiance all claim to guard the goods, but they don't physically lock them. Said goods are still vulnerable to breaches, negligence, or too many shots of tequila...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012
$51.88 from Amazon »

Something tells me that 90% of the time someone buys a Giant Inflatable Penis Costume, it's to give to someone else. But what's wrong with wanting to walk around dressed as a 7-foot tall penis yourself? I mean, I act like...

Monday, November 11, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

This Password Vault seems like a decent gift for people who, like me, follow the universal password rules of choosing a different protective code of at least 8 characters, half of which are symbols or caps, for every one of...

Friday, April 5, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Needle-felted Absolem, blue, hookah-sucking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, you look a little too real for me. If I got high I would definitely try to converse with and befriend you. I might do that even if I weren't...

Sunday, November 18, 2012
$129.95 from Amazon »

Find out whose pants are on fire from the comfort of your own living room and USB port. The USB Polygraph for in-home use (read: barrels upon barrels of monkeys, particularly when anyone expected of cheating or doing other...

Saturday, June 1, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The robotic fish provide ambient light in a pool while swimming autonomously. They look cool. I'd prefer it if they don't touch me with their exotically-hued lionfishy spikes though. It's like when I'm at a bar and some strange...

Saturday, January 21, 2012
$199.95 from Amazon »

Even though it's scaled to 1/20th of its original size, this historically accurate replica of Edward the First's response to the 1304 siege on his Stirling Castle could still probably catapult most of your neighbors' free-roaming...

Monday, March 5, 2012
$90 from Shapeways »

Still wish you could put a face to the name? This visual interpretation of omniscient audio-lord of the iPhone, Siri, was SaGa Design's entry into the Siri Design competition, and can now be part of your iPhone cover collection--and...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$24.83 from Amazon »

And maybe when I'm not making ravioli I can use this rolling pin on the knots in my back and my tightly wound IT band. The beechwood ravioli rolling pin delivers a strong sense of self-satisfaction to its rollers as it allows...

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

The nocturnal trouble maker's dream. Powered with UV light, you can now tarnish bridges, overpasses and subway stations without fear of your genius being hidden once the sun goes down. It's very complicated vandalism and you...

Friday, May 11, 2012
$139 from Tokyo Flash »

And the best part is, no one will ever suspect it's a watch! The Kisai 7 LED watch is another trippy, limited edition Tokyoflash creation, with two rings and two L-bars of searing blue pronouncing the hours and minutes of...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$79.96 from Amazon »

The Leap Motion Controller, a sort of hands-free mouse with far more calibrated skills, sounds so wicked I don't even care that I'm going to look like an epileptic mime waving my arms around to use it. Though unassuming in...

Friday, January 3, 2014
$10.31 from Amazon »

A lemon shark is a real thing! It looks like this! Do you think it's called a lemon shark because it prefers lemons to human limbs or because it is particularly sour? Wikipedia says...wamp, wamp. Neither. It's just yellowish...

Monday, November 7, 2011
Discontinued

And finally, after more than 25 years, the long awaited update to the Commodore 64. This was my very first computer actually. My dad took me to NYC where he was shooting a commercial for a toy company. They had all of these...

Monday, September 19, 2011
$100 from Hobby Search »

Everyone knows that Japanese people are out of their fucking minds a little bit eccentric when it comes to... everything, but that's why we love them. This streaking flashing banana, I think, captures that eccentricity pretty...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Monday, March 19, 2012

McFly! I pity the fool who lives in the UK, and doesn't get Pussy Galore on the road in one of these famed vehicle replica rentals. Yeah, baby! From Back to the Future's DeLorean and the A-Team van, to James Bond cars and...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$16.03 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase...

Monday, December 31, 2012
$277 from Etsy »

Bring the Nolanverse to your living room with a set of Dark Knight bookshelves. Made to order. Just beam your Bat-Signal into the sky and designer Fahmi Sani will get to work erecting a set of webbed-winged night stalkers...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
$99 from Netatmo »

Business coach, life coach, fitness coach, diet coach, and now add sun coach to the list of people I pay to help me avert F'ing up. Except June isn't a person. She (I'll go ahead and personify her though) is a bracelet and...

Friday, May 10, 2013
$249 from earl »

Built for the extreme outdoors, the Earl survival tablet combines Android 4.1 technology with a low-energy E-Ink screen to enable complete (and useful--no Angry Birds here) functionality where other smartphones and tablets...