A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Saturday, August 30, 2014
$420 - $1,200 from Rene Siebum »

Rene Siebum made a Garderobe. That's Dutch for Wardrobe. Though in this case the designer's grid of hexagons that manually flip outward to hold hoodies, hats, and other bodily fixin's looks more like our definition of a coat...

Friday, March 14, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

It's almost spring! Only...I don't know, however many days until the first day of spring...days away. What am I, a meteorologist? I'm 80% sure it happens sometime this month. And that means it's time to plant your garden....

Saturday, October 12, 2013
$29.95 - $64.95 from Morph Costume Co. »

Digital Dudz are back for Round 2 of their wildly popular animated, smartphone-enhanced Halloween costumes. 2013 designs are housed in infrastructures with lower profiles than the 1.0 versions', making them simpler to install and less cumbersome against the wearer's chest. Pouches sized to fit phones either built into the costume's pre-designed T-shirt, or standalone for easy insertion into your...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011
By: Flickr

If you can't afford the $55k price tag on the real TRON Light Cycle there's always this. And it's not a bad consolation prize. Are LEGOS the hippest toy around or what?...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$16.09 from Firebox.com »

In lieu of spending $80 grand on the Talking Periodic Table of Swearing coffee table I think I might part with my Andrew Lincoln and go for the Periodic Table of Swearing mug instead. Granted, it doesn't blurt heinous profanities...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Scottevest SeV Sterling jacket has 24 interior pockets. 24! That means it can hold my wallet (condoms), water bottle (lube), iPad (In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon DVD), sunglasses (vibrator), Bluetooth headset (butt plug), and camera (camera). And since it maintains a low profile even when stuffed, and doesn't look at all like travel (walking sex shop) clothing, I can wear it around town...

Sunday, November 3, 2013
$15.83 from Amazon »

Atlas of Prejudice: Mapping Stereotypes is a compilation and continuation of the Mapping Stereotypes project created by visual artist Yanko Tsvetkov. That's a curt, dispassionate way of saying the Atlas of Prejudice stockpiles...

Tuesday, August 5, 2014
$650 from Pro Idee »

The Picnic Trolley is like a food truck that holds just enough food for ME! And maybe my friend Cornelius. And I guess my mama since she'll probably be the one who cooks it....

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Cufflinks that brandish all-caps disclaimers and warnings? My interest is piqued. Sparrows, peddler of lock picks and other Houdini-style tomfoolery, introduces Uncuff Links, wrist adornments that inconspicuously incorporate...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$4.90 from Amazon »

It looks like the powers that be, in a clandestine effort to identify all of the easily manipulated minds in the country, have incorporated a shell company to produce a bracelet which claims that just by wearing it, your body...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get a flashlight...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$44.99 from Amazon »

This is the time of year that we gather up all the crap we got for Christmas and return it/sell it on Craig's List so we can use the money to buy the stuff we really want. Like the Vault Edition of Book of Sith: Secrets from...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

I bet this is the only bathrobe on Amazon--no, on the planet!--that has 121 customer reviews! 121 reviews! 159 if you count its second listing here. 159 reviews*! Of a bathrobe. I know it's a Jedi bathrobe and it has a Star...

Friday, November 1, 2013
By: Wristify

Much of the hype surrounding Wristify addresses the potential impact the thermoelectric bracelet could have on contemporary society's heating/cooling energy consumption. But its creators, a group of MIT students who won the...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't...

Monday, April 14, 2014
$185 from BaseCampX »

I can't figure out why this slingshot is so expensive. It must be the one David used to slay Goliath. Alright then, give me a rock and a pair of eyeballs...and $200, Mama...and I'll see what I can do....

Saturday, April 12, 2014

What's so special about an "atomic" wristwatch paradoxically struggling to work itself down from prototype sizes as big as the wearer's wrist? Well. In tracking time, it loses just 1 second every 1,000 years. Because its foundation...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
$29 from BoatsToGo.com »

Though most people would probably rather get burnt by the sun than bitten by a shark, both injuries are pretty bad these days. Take your pick on which one leads to a slow, tortuous death, or having flesh ripped away from random...

Sunday, July 20, 2014

No more must you be the son of God or the father of Luke Skywalker to have your face toasted on a piece of whole wheat. Burnt Impressions, a Vermont-based novelty toaster company, will take any hi-res photo selfie you've got--or...

Monday, September 15, 2014
$149.95 from Amazon »

If you had a Prep Pad bumper sticker it would say, My food scale is an honor student. More than just showing how much the avocado weighs and flashing some pre-programmed nutritional information about a pound of pork loin...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
By: Fixed

Those of you who follow the detailed accounts I provide of my illustrious life now know that I have racked up many hundreds of dollars in unpaid parking tickets. So many hundreds that you could technically upgrade the term...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement...

Sunday, July 14, 2013
By: serveball

I'm not sure grad student Jonas Pfeil would agree that Serveball's Squito is the "world's first intelligent throwable camera", given that he too has developed a ball with which to capture 360 degrees of snapshots during up-down...

Thursday, December 19, 2013
$220 from Amazon »

Appropriately, this giant, 7' bean bag sofa is called the Fuf. In honor of all the people who are going to Fuf on it. In comfort, no less. The Fuf replaces the traditional foam balls of 1970s bean bag creations with patented...

Sunday, December 22, 2013
$120 from Kickstarter »

Yes, they shuffle. But they can't do the bridge/easy stack after the riffle, so if you want a deck of carbon fiber playing cards, you'll have to be willing to press them together and realign them into a neat pile yourself....

Friday, December 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Even if you've never seen John Cleese perform the Monty Python skit leading to the creation of this terrific Ministry of Silly Walks watch--since I happen to be younger than my mama, I for one haven't--you can probably appreciate...

Friday, April 18, 2014
$12 - $14 from Amazon »

They call it a high performance guitar pick, which in my mind means that the Pykmax should do the guitar strumming for me. Like a player piano, but completely inconspicuously so that the ladies I'm trying to impress think...

Friday, September 7, 2012

If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either way...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$119.99 from Etsy »

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of Zelda-inspired...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012
$599 from Aquarius PC »

Suck it, fishes! Thanks to AquariusPC, computers no longer have to gaze covetously at aquatic life, seething in envy over the cool, bubbly, pebble-smattered digs they thought they could never own. The Italian company has devised...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of smoke;...

Thursday, May 29, 2014
$12.18 from Amazon »

Need to cover your crack? Driveway Medic says it will prevail where liquid crack filler falters. A roll of self-adhesive asphalt repair fabric, the patcher applies in seconds via a simple peel-and-stick method, covering, sealing...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$145.41 from Amazon »

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with heart...

Saturday, July 12, 2014
$17.91 from Amazon »

Box Contents: 2 Hats; 3 Doodies. In life we sling mud and we talk shit and also many animals with opposable thumbs literally throw their excrement, so...uh...it's only logical that someone created a party game wherein players...

Tuesday, December 24, 2013
$12 - $144 from Skoshbox »

Listen up, 11th hour shoppers, plus anyone else who loves candy, surprises, and/or the delicacies of Japan (the edible, not the human ones): Skoshbox, a deliverer of monthly, fresh-off-the-boat candies and snacks from the...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$500 from Huzza »

A carbon fiber handle holsters 120 layers of Swedish rose stainless damascus steel in this folding pocket knife fit for a pretty, pretty princess, or a male with extraordinarily refined and luxurious tastes. Like myself....

Saturday, March 29, 2014
$22 from Amazon »

One time when I was a young boy I, like all young boys, wanted to hang a Tawny Kitaen poster on my wall. But I didn't have any poster putty on hand, so as an alternative I licked its 4 corners and stuck Tawny to my closet...

Sunday, February 3, 2013
$24.95 from Amazon »

"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

I have to say, as superfluous to life as a heated butter spreader is, it would be kind of nice to have a SpreadThat! when I slice off a brick of ice cold Land O'Lakes and then mangle the ever-loving churned bovine secretions...

Saturday, December 1, 2012
$7.99 from Amazon »

Liven up the holidays--at least for yourself--with Prank Packs, fake gift boxes with intricately detailed photos and explanations of products just bizarre enough to be ridiculous, but just believable enough in enterprising...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

I've slept on my sofa for the past 2-1/2 years. I've even slept in my sleeping bag on my sofa. But until now the two were not a happy combination, as the outsides of sleeping bags are slippery, and the heights of sofas are...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Like Food Huggers, Cover Blubbers are condom-ish pieces of sticky rubber that fit directly over leftovers for preservation and storage. Kind of like plastic wrap or foil, except Cover Blubbers actually adhere and stay put...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$385 from Boone Rings »

The next generation of bottle opener rings settles into a titanium home. With roommates. Designer Bruce Boone has thrown ultra-sharp twins Straight Blade and Serrated Blade, wily bad boy, Saw, and ...yahtzee!...the dapper...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
Discontinued

On the one hand, we look at people like Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp and envy their posh celebrity lives. But on the other, we look at the Who Tall Are You? Mirror and wonder how the H-E double hockey sticks they get so much...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Discontinued

Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$62 from Etsy »

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$75 - $350 from Amazon »

Defense wins games. (Right, Peyton?) Defensive driving prevents accidents. Proof of self-defense averts jail time. And a Pelican crushproof barrier defending your laptop against fat Aunt Jan tripping over a strap of the backpack...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Good news for men itching for superpowers but hesitant to accept the body-suctioning spandex--and in this case noxious spider bite--that often accompanies them. The Marvel Electronic Spidey-Sense T-Shirt grants a heightened...

Monday, April 16, 2012
$11,882 from Firebox.com »

Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic, this...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
By: blocks

Like Phonebloks (i.e., Google's Project Ara), the forthcoming BLOCKS smartwatch will encompass an array of detachable modules. Wearers will be able to snap together hardware, sensor, app, and "dummy" (for sizing) BLOCKS to...

Thursday, July 24, 2014
$142.20 from Beta Brand »

Audio engineer Nic Pope designed a hoodie for in the studio, on stage, at festivals, and while walking down the street in oversized headphones. He's calling it the Audio Engineer's Hoodie. Pope provides a rundown of special...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
$45 from Etsy »

Did anyone who left the theater after seeing Jaws for the first time not exit with a newly-acquired fear of sharks, and a newly-acquired need of a new pair of pants? I'm pretty sure Spielberg's decision to make a movie about...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$250 - $900 from Dog Powered Scooter »

Oh good, dog sledding is now available for suburbia in July. It's a Dog. Powered. Scooter. For canine exercise? Sure. To enhance mobility of the elderly? Sounds good. So that I can be the one guy in town who travels by a yoke...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$9.54 from Amazon »

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense tool....

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego...

Friday, October 19, 2012

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...

Sunday, January 12, 2014
$222 from Sen.se »

I don't know about the name "Mother." This home and life sensor system's creators say they chose it because Mother takes care us. Our safety, our fitness. Our comfort and joy. She makes our lives "serene, healthy and pleasurable."...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies. Thankfully...

Thursday, May 1, 2014
$50 from Amazon »

I like how even though it's mostly just silverware, Buck's Travel Mate looks like the deciding factor between a spy's successful completion of his mission and colossal failure resulting in death. Or maybe, like, what Batman...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$35k from Prima Cinema »

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who did...

Thursday, August 7, 2014
$149.99 from Amazon »

It's bladeless, it's oscillating, it's kinda cool-looking, but, no. It's not a Dyson. Then again, look at the Airso 10" table fan's price tag. Also not a Dyson....

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,699 - $2,099 from PicoBrew »

Even at a $1,600 investment, it would really only take about 6 weeks of home brewing for me to recoup the cost of a PicoBrew Zymatic in consumed beer. For me, a 6-pack of brewskis that doesn't taste like a donkey's bunghole...

Tuesday, July 29, 2014
$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you can solve this Rubik's Cube in 2 minutes or less I'll give you 1 million dollars. Awwww, shucks. Yeah, I did know the the segments don't actually move. Why else would I put the offer on the table? I don't think I even...

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$1,260 - $1,500 from Scan Computers »

Since the BBC officially licensed the TARDIS PC, Scan Computers was able to build it exactly to scale from the original prop schematics, match the interdimensional police box's precise Pantone color, and load its hard drive...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
$18.95 from Zazzle »

Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option...

Thursday, March 29, 2012
$11.95 from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...