A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, January 24, 2014
$1,310 from Duffy London »

If I ever happen to move out of my mama's house, I doubt it will be into anything larger than a 400-square-foot studio apartment, so this transforming coffee-to-dining table from Duffy London would be the perfect addition...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$58.99 - $65.99 from Amazon »

Call my name! Bastian, please! Save us! Did anyone else have trouble deciphering what Bastian actually said when he screamed out the name he had chosen for the Childlike Empress? I must have watched The Neverending Story a...

Sunday, April 14, 2013
$0.92 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves of America, along with a grip of other Far East doctorings of our four-fingered, choco-dipped biscuits that have, on these soils, remained unchanged since 1935. I guess we can't...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
Discontinued

Superheros and their nemeses covering the keys of my MacBook? Yahtzee! I mean, Shazam! Never before did I realize how boring and uninspired a black-and-white keyboard really is. Thank you, superhero skin genius Killer Duck...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$99.99 from Brookstone »

The Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard is cool, but palm-sized? Come on, technology, you can do better than that. Let me see thumb-sized. Let me see belly button-sized. Let me see...oh, you have thumb-sized now? A Keychain Laser...

Thursday, July 19, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed to behind the backs of those who would make them stop. Easily concealed under clothes as a belted pouch, the Freedom Flask holds up to 32 ounces of your favorite booze, which...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$1,425 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in my...

Thursday, August 1, 2013
$399.99 from NOCQUA »

I bet slumbering sea life are gonna love getting a shot of over 1,000 lumens of light in the eye post nightfall. Seriously. It will help the ones who need to get up and take a leak find the bathroom. As for the rest, eh, fish...

Saturday, October 12, 2013
$1,850 from Etsy »

Here's a snicker-worthy case of accidental black humor. Officially titled the Up North Fire Pit, this hand-cut steel sphere drew its inspiration from the majestical scenes and wildlife of Minnesota's north woods. And probably...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
$349 from Clearview Audio »

Click through the photos of rooms above. Can you spot the Clio clear speaker amidst their furniture and decor? I struggled with a couple. It might be named after one of the nine goddesses of music, but Clio is making its debut...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
$950 from Jellio »

To quote Freddie Mercury, "Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?" Let's see...well, according to the $950 subtotal in my Jellio shopping cart, it is real life. Oh boy! Real life now has furniture that looks like ice cream...

Friday, August 30, 2013
$18.99 from Amazon »

Uh, those are gross. And while I know gross is the fundamental point of a poo-stained pair of briefs with a hidden, Velcro-sealed compartment in the fly...dude...those are gross. And it gets worse: according to The Brief Safe's...

Sunday, August 11, 2013
$179.95 from CrossBell »

Often when I struggle to empty a cooler of mostly-melted ice, or lift a fat jug to my lips for a refreshing drink, or dump the vat of Gatorade on my friend Cornelius' head after he scores point 10 in Settlers of Catan, I think...

Saturday, July 27, 2013
$26.11 from mzube »

Now kitchen countertops can look like a bloody mess whether you've cut yourself or used them to butcher a half side of beef or not. Great for Halloween, great for an otherwise ho-hum Monday night, great for getting a rise...

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$65 - $680 from Soylent »

Nary a week goes by that I don't hear about how my friend DeAndre just wishes they made a dog food for humans. Something containing all necessary nutrients, adequate calories, and appropriate protein:carb:fat ratios that requires...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$220 from Hand-Eye Supply »

At first I wasn't sure why this Nata Hatchet costs so much, but then I read the item description on Hand-Eye Supply's listing and noticed it begins with "Behold." As in, "Behold, the mighty Bridgetown Forge x Hand-Eye Supply...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$1,200 from Etsy »

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian aesthetics...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

I decided to spotlight the Darth Vader bathrobe because this morning I got an email from someone named Anastasia Kryzinski entitled, "What Does Your Love Python Need?" I thought it was the best email I ever received, and I...

Saturday, October 6, 2012

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$195 from Etsy »

Way to go, Walter White and meth heads, Breaking Bad has reached terrarium levels of popularity. Terrarium. I find that word difficult both to spell and to say aloud. Try it. Rough on the tongue, 'ey? Not very pleasant on...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
$89.95 from Etsy »

If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry enough...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off and flying...

Wednesday, October 23, 2013
$199.95 from Amazon »

Professor Plum in the dining room with the...3D glasses, suckah! Iconic board game Clue has followed Hollywood feature films into the 3rd dimension with its own 3D addition to your family fun nights. No glasses required here...

Wednesday, April 30, 2014
$369.99 from Amazon »

While I generally approve of anything that makes manual labor less laborious for me, I am not too stoked to hear about GreenWorks' battery operated lawn mower's 70-minute runtime. 70 minutes?! Great. That means my mama's going...

Saturday, August 31, 2013
$32.22 from Firehouse Pantry »

Sometimes I wonder what I'll do if one day I don't want the Kraft Mac & Cheese my mama or Bob Evans serves me. Like, what if I want Kraft mini wieners* & cheese or Kraft Jet-Puffed Jumbo Mallows & cheese? Or, screw all this...

Bar
Thursday, May 22, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

A manual contraption for slicing lemons and limes into perfect wedges that isn't my two hands may not be a groundbreaking addition to the world, but as a bar tool I'd pretty sure I'd use it at least as much as my shaker, and...

Thursday, June 13, 2013
$39.09 from Amazon »

I thought maybe SleepPhones blocked out the sounds of snoring and garbage trucks and sirens and stupid F'ing songbirds with some sort of industrial acoustic insulation woven inside their fleece headband, but the self-described...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$149 from Petcube »

Does your pet give you a forlorn look of abandonment that stirs an overwhelming sense of guilt in your heart and makes you feel like a complete a-hole every time you leave the house? More importantly does this typical bundle...

Friday, August 10, 2012

It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From his...

Friday, September 21, 2012
$93.70 from Amazon »

If looking like a complete schmo in an Ostrich Pillow means that I can sleep through transcontinental flights and my boss' stories about his Junior Samba Champion grandson, then bring on the gawks and guffaws. I won't see...

Monday, September 30, 2013
$75.95 from Amazon »

Being able to ride au naturel beneath a fuzzy fleece Chewbacca bathrobe is quite possibly the only upshot to summer's ending and the agony of shit cold, rain, and darkness kicking off my foreseeable future. How snug and content...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Fogged mirrors! I can't groom my facial hair or Dep Gel my head for, like, 8-1/2 minutes after emerging from the shower unless I stand there like an a-hole blowing my mama's hairdryer on it. Towels: do not work. Squeegees:...

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$39 - $127 from Broquet »

Broquets are cornucopias of real man stuff sent to real men...plus women who don't want no stinkin' roses, and would rather have a vat of hot sauce that puts hair on their chest than a box of chocolates that puts pounds on...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning. Zing!...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

You're still on your own for keeping yourself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb your buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every handyman and Daddy-O, the LadderLimb...

Sunday, July 21, 2013
$479 from Amazon »

So I guess laborers can take a modicum of comfort in knowing that white collar jobs are beginning to get outsourced to robots as well. Unmanned aerial systems pioneer DJI Innovations fabricates a host of flightful fancies...

Thursday, November 14, 2013
$21.43 from Amazon »

When I was 6 years old my babysitter forced me to sit on a skateboard with her and roll down the ominously steep street on which we lived. About halfway to the bottom my suspicions that her idea was a terrible one and she...

Thursday, January 16, 2014
By: PrioVR

As predicted, probably by Nostradamus and Back to the Future II (but not the Mayans because they thought we'd be dead by now), 2014 is shaping up to be the year of virtual reality. As the buzz around the Oculus Rift VR gaming...

Friday, April 11, 2014
$23.99 from Amazon »

The only redeeming qualities of being on an airplane are that I can guiltlessly spend 3 to 9 hours doing nothing but eating, getting drunk, and watching full seasons of Battlestar Galactica. However, this is also problematic...

Monday, March 4, 2013
$149 from Mycestro »

Controlling objects through abracadabra gestures seems to be a hot trend right now. So can someone please make me a Mycestro 3D Mouse ring or MYO Armband that, in addition to manipulating my PC, will also abracadabra my dog's...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$119.93 - $149.95 from Amazon »

When I was 8 or so my family got one of those tactile floor lamps for the living room. Touch it once to light it, twice to make it brighter, thrice to illuminate all, and four times to return the world to darkness. It was...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$9.50 from Amazon »

They call it hot ice because sodium acetate is extremely unstable (probably moody and demanding too) and begins hardening immediately as it drops below its melting point of 58.4 to 58 degrees C (about 136.5 to 137 degrees...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$20.44 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur of...

Friday, September 27, 2013
$69.50 from Garrett Wade »

The Yankee Push Drill does not plug into the wall, which means its successful use is dependent entirely upon the well-oiled machine that is its handler's body. I bet my right arm and shoulder would be sore for 3 days if I...

Friday, December 14, 2012
Discontinued

You-Vision Video Glasses don't do the I-spying for you, but they do allow you to film what your little eye sees. In HD. A tiny camera built into the bridge of the glasses records full motion video with the push of a button...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$12.35 from Calligraphuck »

Ah. It seems Mr. Garrison has forayed into the business of paper products. Merry Fucking Christmas. Come on, you know you want to sing along as you read it. Maybe tie a little Mr. Hat plush to the ribbon if you're one of the...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$1k from Blade HQ »

This dual-bladed evolution of bladesmith Brian Tighe's Nirk Tighe won Most Innovative Custom Design at the 2012 BLADE Show. Now what I wonder is if the Buy Tighe knife is really so outstanding that it's worth a cool grand...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$24.95 - $55.95 from Society 6 »

Obviously the only one of these celebrities who really sat for his French Republican Guard...or whatever...portrait in the 19th century is Chuck Norris because he's immortal and easily over 200 years old. The rest are fakes...

Saturday, November 9, 2013
Discontinued

Apparently, we're allowed to take aim only at the Dark Side. Sneaky Studios didn't design any of their Star Wars shooting targets with Luke or Han or Yoda behind the bullseye, which in a way cuts out an entire buyer demographic...

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

When I see alien abduction images like this lamp's they make me think of one thing: Cartman gets an anal probe. Ugh, poor cow. Well, maybe not. I mean, really, whatever fate lies ahead for him on that spaceship can't be any...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
$63.79 from Costume Craze »

Costume Craze has released a whole line of Second Skin Star Wars suits for 2013, but I feel like if a man is going to put a definitive outline of the family jewels on display, the face of a Wookiee would complement them much...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$25 - $45 from RIPT »

Pipes, mushrooms, a Cape Feather or two, and it's even a real, useful map of the New York City subway system. The Super Mario NYC Subway Map salutes Super Mario World in its pixel-by-pixel mass transit trek through 16-bit...

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Leave it to Japan Trend Shop to extol the virtues of these Humanoid Fleeces--a "secret" second run of the onesies that sold out during their initial release, your ticket to looking like a superhero in a cult sci-fi movie--while...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$20.95 from Amazon »

Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying, sickle-shaped...

Sunday, March 30, 2014
$7.73 from Amazon »

Well, Star Wars: Jedi Academy doesn't come in a sweet mechanical vault or reveal ancient secrets of the Jedi discipline like The Jedi Path, but I bet it will be an easier purchase to share with your kids. I mean that in the...

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$14.25 - $20.35 from Amazon »

It's an AT-AT. Costume. For your dog. I know Halloween is still 2 months and 14 days away, but I sense these babies are going to sell out quick come October 1st. And anyway, a lot of dog owners get a charge out of dressing...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire designs...

Sunday, March 16, 2014
$30 from Sosu Sauces »

I told them this is what would happen if they let the roosters near the tomatoes. The cocks just can't keep it to themselves. And now we have this bastard child. This atrocious, humiliating...awesome-sounding, mouthwatering...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$1.95 - $6.99 from Amazon »

Now drive slow, honey, it's not a race. Ha! Clearly that bit of motherly wisdom is a crock, as indicated by this vehicle manufacturer-issued decal right here on my side view mirror. It is a race, Mama. And all of those VW...

Monday, March 24, 2014
$176.23 from Amazon »

Compatible with Android and iOS, the Netatmo Urban Weather Station will track and provide comprehensive feedback on your immediate environment. It's an entirely personal weather device with one tracking module for interior...

Monday, April 21, 2014
$68.46 from Amazon »

Yeah, MP3 speaker pillows are all fun and games until someone drowns their connected smartphone in a pool of drool and shorts it beyond repair. It's about time we got a Bluetooth upgrade to this otherwise swell advancement...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$2,499 from Double Robotics »

What if you could be in two places at once? I mean really. I mean more really than just having a view via a live video feed. What if you could walk around, look at, and engage with anyone or thing you wanted, with your face...

Monday, November 11, 2013
$15 - $48 from indiegogo »

Though there are many things I can do to prevent a hangover...yeah, Mama, not over-consuming alcohol is indeed one of them...I find drinking glass after glass of water, or eating Tums at 1-hour intervals, or restricting myself...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$149.95 - $199.95 from Lunasee »

Lunasee ASL wheel lights for motorcycles increase rider visibility and safety by providing active side lighting over a broad range, even when bikes are outside the direct path of another vehicle's headlight. That the wraparound...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$3,999.99 from Etsy »

The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it....