A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, September 30, 2012
Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions....

Tuesday, August 21, 2012
$18 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black-and-solar-system-speckled anatomical shields are almost as fun to gaze upon as the parts of the body they cover. Artist Nate Crane designed the planets, moons, asteroids, and star...

Friday, January 11, 2013
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The desire to own an OHEA Super Bed transcends mere laziness because, I'm sorry, I don't care what kind of draught horse you are, making the bed is an enormous pain in the ass. Think of all the people who trip over themselves...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$99 from Siva Cycle »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts to most standard bicycle frames to collect the kinetic energy generated during pedaling and convert it to electrical energy for directly charging an attached device, or storing...

Saturday, January 4, 2014
$279 from Primo »

Primo is a tangible programming interface designed to teach children ages 4 to 7 basic programming logic without the need for literacy. No literacy? No reading? Pwah! Kids are just handed everything in life. On silver spoons...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
$499.99 from Urban Mercenaries »

F nuclear codes and attacks. Booze, cards, Red Bull, cash, mints, and first aid are a real man's real tickets to power and life-altering--or at least night-altering--decisions. The briefcase. The weapons. The Football. Reinvented...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.18 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$3.59 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever craft...

Thursday, June 13, 2013

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series of...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$899.99 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who still...

Saturday, October 26, 2013
$249 - $1,499 from Etsy »

Rich Bhata hand smiths all Sizzle Strapz bags in his St. Charles, IL shop from genuine cow hide and American buffalo. I've never felt the desire to lovingly stroke a cow or buffalo before--just devour them in ground and fillet...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Good news, Clark Griswolds of the world. If you don't have 7 hours to spend staple gunning 700,000 strands of lights to your house this year, you can still xenon-bomb Julia Louis-Dreyfus and her husband out of their midnight...

Monday, October 17, 2011
$22 from Firebox.com »

For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise using...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$100 from Amazon »

Blissful slumbering courtesy of a bed in the sky. It sounds like a dream come true. So you click...and view...and...it's a hammock. A thin, garbage bag-looking hammock too. This hammock has some explaining to do....

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Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$90.61 - $98.88 from Amazon »

When the tops come off, the fun begins! That's what they say about these bottle cap bar stools, but I don't see much about the statement that has anything to do with bottle cap bar stools. Obviously I like it as it relates...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$14.95 from Bacon Basket »

Is a bowl-shaped baking dish designed explicitly to mold bacon into baskets for transporting eggs and BBQ pulled pork to my mouth necessary? I don't know, are pants necessary? Necessity may be one, but she is not the only...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long and...

Saturday, July 6, 2013
$18 - $72.60 from Society 6 »

Oh snap! It's imaginary ancient fantasy world meets the decades of excess and grunge. In a new line of Society 6 prints, graphic designer Mike, who sells under the name Moshi-Kun, gives your favorite Game of Thrones characters...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$215 from Amazon »

Breville says it will do for pizza lovers what cooking meth does for ailing chemistry teachers: bring home the dough. The Crispy Crust Stone Baked Pizza Maker aims to deliver brick oven pie quality without the bricks. Probably...

Friday, March 2, 2012
$345 from RcSuperhero »

A life-size, remote control foam superhero probably isn't going to be much help if you're looking for someone to swoop in and save your kid from the schoolyard bullies next time they try to weave his body through the bars...

Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis of...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Estonian sculptor Mati Karmin has been creating art for over 25 years, but his marine mine furniture and decor are perhaps his most breathtaking work to date, and indeed some of the most unique pieces you'll ever take out...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$59.97 from Amazon »

Oh man, talk about livin' large on the cheap. I think I just found my second favorite application of the term bouncy, bouncy. Intex has fitted its inflatable pull-out sofa with a 76", queen-sized width, a set of cushions that...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
$895 - $3,401 from Monkeylectric »

MonkeyLectric upgrades its previous version of Monkey Light LED madness for bicycle tires with Monkey Light Pro, an installation of customized, downloaded graphics and animations that turn two wheels into two tickets to vehicular...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$179 - $279 from Vachen »

One watch, over a hundred different faces--interchangeable at the flick of a finger. Reminds me of this bipolar chick I used to date...I sure hope the Vachen Smartwatch doesn't come with an I'm-gonna-bludgeon-you-with-my-F'd...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

It would be better if it were in the shape of the toast I'm going to pile it on, and I also doubt my ability to flip an egg within such tight confines without losing part of it to my burner, but I still appreciate the sentiment...

Sunday, August 11, 2013
$115 - $335 from Etsy »

Land shark! Or at least the scariest part of the shark now available to tear into human flesh on land. Dane Kealoha's shark tooth weapons style themselves after traditional blades and blunt implements with walloping power...

Saturday, August 10, 2013
$99.95 - $229.95 from Nobilified »

Now you too can enjoy the spoils of fame and have your face dropped onto an old world portrait of a king, queen, emperor, clergyman, knight, solider, or naked lady. Like the series of celebrity solider prints we showed you--inked...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
$35.89 - $40 from Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I...

Friday, February 24, 2012
Discontinued

A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG and...

Saturday, February 11, 2012
$100 from iPatch »

Get ready to radioactivate your iPhone. British iPhone "enabler" iPatch is set to release a glow modification for the rear apple on iPhone 4S models within the month. That means incoming calls, texts, alarms, and other alerts...

Saturday, August 31, 2013
Discontinued

Fos: It's an LED safety patch for pedestrians and bikers. Fos: It's a light grid programmable wirelessly through your smartphone to display video, graphics, or text. Fos: It's everything people post on Facebook about how many...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97 from Amazon »

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to...

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$349 from Pet Chatz »

The simulation of being at home when you're not at home. It's the new black. And from smartphone-controlled security systems to interactive pet communication systems like the Petcube and, now, PetChatz, the application of...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Animal Chair collection constitutes a diverse range of species, from mammals to reptiles, and even including insects. Each creation retains the animal's natural vitality whilst being totally biological accurate in their...

Monday, October 7, 2013
$9.99 from Hopson Kinetic »

OSM = Object for Spatial Manipulation = a kaleidoscopic sculpture made of disks = pronounced "awesome". No joke. "OSM" sounds out as "awesome" because its designers have astutely noticed that that's exactly what this endlessly...

Monday, June 4, 2012
$149.99 - $399.99 from Simple.TV »

Simple.TV is the latest in the vicious volley of cable companies screwing us, and us screwing them right back. For those fed up and ready to disavow cable altogether...but bummed about not being able to watch Modern Family...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$3,065 - $6,131 from Surface Tension »

Previously we witnessed the introduction of fine craftsman furniture to the old school Nintendo controller. Now we see tastefully worked walnut and oak incorporated into full-on coffee table arcades and PCs. Surface Tension...

Monday, September 23, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Unless you're a complete tool, it's pretty hard to F up a cake mix. However, if you're attempting to bake a cake from scratch in an effort to show the apple of your eye how much you care/should get laid with an introductory...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
$425 from NONDesigns »

I saw lights like those emitted from the FLIP tactile luminaire last night. Many, many lights. Prismatic shards of color beaming above my head and through my jugular to the beat of mmmchuck, mmmchuck, mmmchuck. People kept...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$34.99 from Amazon »

Sick of hearing about the Zombie Apocalypse? Me too. I'm also sick of hearing about how pretty soon my mama's going to kick me out of her house and stop paying for my cell phone bill and all of my chips and cereal, thus forcing...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$15.29 from Firebox.com »

Oh the C word. My friends Constantine, Bartholomew, and I all agree it's pretty much the worst in the English language. Definitely the most heinous mud you can sling at someone. Which makes this C U Next Tuesday, or UNT Mug...

Friday, January 20, 2012
$14.97 from Amazon »

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off like...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$18.37 from Amazon »

Sometimes an alarm just isn't enough. It's too easy to press snooze and get another 10 minutes in. Before you know it, you're late. Here's your solution....

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
$80 from Focal »

Mogo is a portable seat. It folds. It does not weigh very many pounds. It functions indoors and out, on grass, concrete, and sand alike. Mogo looks like a peg leg extending from your butt. Or what might happen when the idiomatic...

Monday, March 19, 2012
$8.42 from Amazon »

Kiddie classic Pat the Bunny has been zombified. Pat the Zombie is a morbid adult spoof on the revered literary tome that famously commands children to touch it, scratch it, sniff it, and put it in your mouth. Only this time...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$5,824 from Amazon »

If you're into swinging and threesomes, the Infinity Hammock...will do nothing to help your cause. Unless you're into the kind of swinging threesomes wherein each party has his or her own personal space amidst a cocoon of...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012
By: Aerofex

As if a Hoverbike Part I weren't mind-blowing enough, Manhattan Beach aerospace engineering firm Aerofex is tossing its own aerial ATV prototype into the pool of flying bikes most recently filled by Australian fabricator Chris...

Friday, November 8, 2013
$18 from Etsy »

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.... I don't know what I like more: that Etsy vendor Albert Hernandi of miniBIGS made a LEGO Ron Burgundy minifig, or that he made a LEGO Scotch...

Friday, November 30, 2012
$34.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send him some...

Monday, July 1, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Here's a silver lining, or at least some black polyester, for the poor bastards who have to go to summer school: DC Comics' Batman Backpack...with Bat ear hood...and...du-nuhnuh-nuhnuh-nuhnuhnuh...BAT! WINGS! As with any loyal...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
Discontinued

Who goes anywhere without their phone? My guess is zero people. Who goes anywhere without a pocket knife, screwdriver, wrench, ruler, and bottle opener? My guess is a few more than zero people. Maybe even enough people to...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$24.35 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...

Monday, November 7, 2011
$22 from Shapeways »

Hey moms! Check it out... No more searching for that perfect stocking-stuffer for your teenage son. Customize these to say whatever it is you'd like... that's 5 characters or less. This is actually a pretty creative idea...

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
$31.26 - $61.95 from Amazon »

A little morbidity to go with your coffee and intent gaze of surfing the Web for non-work-related diversions today? The idea for Havalon sporting scalpels arose from watching taxidermists at work. Havalon's parent company...

Sunday, January 15, 2012
$9.99 from Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones with...

Friday, March 8, 2013
$2,499 - $4,999 from AutoHome »

I was just thinking how awesome it would be if for once I could wake up on the roof of my car on purpose. Good lookin' out, AutoHome tents. The roof top--or truck bed--pop ups store flat overhead while driving, and then (allegedly)...

Friday, May 4, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

What I want to know is, if my friend Gary uses brute muscular force to bounce one helium-and-compressed-air-filled Skyball to its peak height of 75 feet, and my other friend Mitch drops a second Skyball from a balcony 75 feet...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$10.58 from Amazon »

Geez, even connect the dots sex looks complicated. There must be 200 numbers in each of these puzzles, and good luck trying to figure out what's lurking behind the connective ink lines before putting in the elbow grease. Unless...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013
$55 - $105 from Etsy »

Ladies, if you're wondering what dudes will say when you enter the room wearing a pair of Alanya Divine's custom-made silver elf ear cuffs, the answer is, "Yes, please." You like them for their craftily shaped argentium silver...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I'm not on the best of terms with my smoke alarm. First it fell from the ceiling and went off. Then I left a few pounds of bacon in the skillet for too long and it went off. Then I had this girl over to watch Major League...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$128 from Wool & Prince »

Do you know how many men in the Pacific Northwest are going to go apeshit when they find out about a wool shirt that will stay wrinkle- and odor-free for 100 days straight...without washing, ironing, or dry cleaning it? All...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Discontinued

If this bed's a rocking then... it's probably a cool new rocking bed. The Mood Rocking Bed is an indoor / outdoor bed built inside of a cylinder shaped frame. It can be left to rock or freeze in any position with rubber stops....

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$75k - $135k from WaterCar »

Uh, can panthers even swim? I thought cats hated water and stuff 'cause it might, like, cleanse their evil spirits. I'm just not clear on the logic of WaterCar's name selection process for what is supposedly the world's fastest...