A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, November 1, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

The most endearing part about the Kuwaete Sukkiri Tongue Exerciser marketing campaign is that it claims the silicone (and grapefruit scented!) apparatus is intended to "help improve your face line and those flabby, sagging...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$62 from Studio Ve »

When people like my Aunt Jan speak contemptuously of other people like me, who they believe "do nothing but sit around watching time go by," the judgmental old hags should probably look into whether or not their unambitious...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics, personality traits, and origins over 350 of the most infamous zombies ever to grace the screens and pages of movies, books, video games, comics, manga, and TV. In a drawing reminiscent...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of you...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$300 from Kickstarter »

Sometimes it's humbling when you enter into the domain of professionals and hobbyists who do things that both blow your mind and make you feel like a complete jackass for your inability to understand how they accomplish any...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag of tricks. Complementing its fashionable cotton composition, fully lined hood, and rad high-fiving monkey logo we have the following handy crack-'em-open and knock-'em-back...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Sold Out from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit an...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
$99 from Yellow Jacket »

In an act of retaliation against its relegation to the uncomfortably jarring vibrate setting, the iPhone has summoned the Yellow Jacket, and plans to return the favor. In the form of a body-rocking 650,000 volts. The Yellow...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want to be...

Thursday, May 22, 2014
$28 from Toniiq »

This Memorial Day weekend, I will metabolize my alcohol without damaging my liver! I will take Toniiq Lingzhi capsules the morning after my nights of heavy drinking and address the underlying metabolic process that causes...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$36.01 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Saturday, May 17, 2014
$59 from The Fowndry »

TIE Fighters may be fragile, but they're strong enough to crush your nuts. Rebel pecans, Jedi almonds, your only escape now is through my GI tract!...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
By: Nike

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair and never...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$27.78 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mom), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
Discontinued

At first I was like, "Huh. Star Wars auction paddles and rhythmic gymnastics ribbons. Ummm...neat?" But then I looked up what BDSM is* and suddenly the gallery of items before me got a lot more interesting. GeekKink's Star...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sold Out from threadless »

I Park Like an Idiot stickers have two outstanding selling points. 1) Applying one to the bumper or window of a deserving vehicle will give its user an instant boost, likely eliminating the crankiness and ill-will evoked by...

Friday, October 25, 2013
$10.57 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea, a military-grade...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$595 - $3,890 from Etsy »

A USS Enterprise engagement ring is what happens when true love collides with the reluctant decision to propose to some chick. As a male with a basic appreciation for the Star Trek TV series and movies, plus a deep respect...

Friday, May 9, 2014
$249 from Amazon »

I like how anymore anything that's not a "smart" whatever it is gets labeled a "dumb" whatever it is. According to Quirky, which recently made Dr. Garthen Leslie's Aros Smart Window Air Conditioner available for purchase...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all over...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

This week only get your PhoneSoap, a mobile phone charger and UV-C light sanitizer, from the Dude Exclusives online store for 15+% off! Sale price includes shipping....

Thursday, May 15, 2014
$41.75 from Amazon »

There's nothing I want more after traipsing through the whirling dust and scorching sun of a summer festival than a seat, a cold beer, and maybe one of my mama's chicken salad sandwiches. So I'm glad to see there's a Spectator...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$79 from SparqEE »

Getting up off the couch to go make a cell phone sounds even rougher than getting up off the couch to go make a sandwich. But if you're up for either, good on you. I recommend pastrami and swiss on rye for the sandwich, and...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$56.76 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving as...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$79 from Cole-Bar »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

I hope the electromagnetic fields projected by these Iron Man 3 glowing Arc Reactor coasters will keep my drinks safe this holiday season from particulates of snot and saliva ejected by fellow partygoers whose mothers never...

Thursday, March 6, 2014
$24.99 - $46.42 from Amazon »

The 4th dimension is time. 4D puzzles of famous skylines--including Westeros from Game of Thrones!--sprawl width- and lengthwise, rise vertically with scale-model buildings, and cap their dimensional empire with the axis of...

Monday, June 25, 2012
Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

One time I stepped outside my back door and it was -8 degrees and the snot froze in my nostrils. That time was yesterday. But during these frigid winter months, instead of jacking up my home's central heating system, or wearing...

Monday, November 4, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

So what you're saying is that this simple stamp could be the solution to ridding myself of the 8' piles of credit card offers and guaranteed ways to pay off my student loads in 6 months and weird notices about taxes or something...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Wednesday, February 26, 2014
$14.99 from Amazon »

As all ladies who prefer older men know, nothing compares to well-seasoned meat. Particularly meat that has been infused with flavor from the inside. While rubs and marinades can slough off or lose their potency during cooking...

Saturday, March 22, 2014
$99.95 from Amazon »

The Combat Daddy Equipment diaper bag: no Skoda Man Pram is complete without one. Combat Daddy Equipment's Model 1 carry-all for fathers who drew the short straw and have to take their kids to the park...or stay at home and...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Giveaway: Griz Coats 57
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: Griz Coat

Our contribution to your Halloween bedecking comes courtesy of yard upon yard of faux fur, wads of foam finessed into the heads of beasts, and the very generous ursine and lupine outerwear enthusiasts at Griz Coat. Enter to...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.16 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Monday, March 31, 2014
$75 from Amazon »

I can hardly stand the anticipation. Game of Thrones. Season 4. Less than a week away. I might pee my pants. Hey! Someone turn off that dragon sink faucet! It's not helping my continence! Hey, wait...a dragon sink faucet?...

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$7.55 from Amazon »

I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$886 - $1,271 from Jolan van der Wiel »

Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel not only created these Fraggle-Rock-meets-Super-Mario-Brothers-meets-Gotham-City hybrids, he also created the simple wood-framed machine used to forge them. Summoning the forces of gravity...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$6.15 from Amazon »

My friend Esteban lives on a boat and at the end of the summer every year he hires a diver to scrounge around the water at the bottom of his slip to try to recover the myriad items he and his friends drop over the side when...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$125 - $179 from Amazon »

A less expensive alternative to the Crypteks USB Drive, the Apricorn Aegis Secure Key Flash Drive boasts military grade full-disk AES 256-bit CBC hardware encryption, further protected by a 7- to 15-digit PIN-activated alphanumeric...

Friday, June 29, 2012
$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both traditional...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$55 from D3 Protection »

Sap is an interesting word because it can connote both a sorry, pathetic loser and an object of grit and power that will F your S up. Here we will talk about the second version of sap because, in honor of summer's official...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$295 - $1,689 from Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float around...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

They call it a reverse Molotov cocktail, nomenclature I find very slick, and thereby reason enough to invest in a throwable fire extinguisher. Plus, although I'm normally more one to fan the flames, I also recognize that ladies...

Thursday, July 19, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Monday, October 21, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Stink Yourself Slim is not a joke. It's not a gag gift or an Instructables project some dude made at home to give to the lardass who hogs all of the chocolate long johns when someone brings donuts to work. Yeah, I know. It...

Saturday, May 31, 2014
$227.98 from Amazon »

Whoa, the sixth scale collectible figure of Wolverine as portrayed by Hugh Jackman might look more like Hugh Jackman portraying Wolverine than Hugh Jackman himself. Head sculptor and painter Lee So Young and JC Hong should...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$17.75 from Amazon »

Now that Twinkies have returned to market, a homemade Twinkie maker might not classify as the same magnitude of necessity that it did for about 8 months there. But, still, it's kind of a necessity. You never know when Hostess...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Nom, nom, nom. It's Hasenpfeffer meets the next-generation three wolf moon shirt. Your days of gnawing on leathery old rabbit parts that taste like a combination of barnyard and the positive ends of AA batteries are over....

Friday, February 14, 2014
$15 from SUCK UK »

BottleLights are USB-rechargeable LED bulbs that make glass bottles glow all moody and sensual. Basically they achieve the same It's time for sexy time effect as candles without the associated fire risks. Designed by Steve...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$49.95 from Amazon »

I always thought my car required an oil change every 3,000 to 5,000 miles out of necessity, but according to Lubricheck, I shell out my precious duos of Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States and fellow Pisces...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Friday, May 23, 2014
$29.94 from Amazon »

Bulgaria. That's the inspiration, the origin, the country we have to thank for Deo, a candy that makes you sweat roses. The Valley of the Roses sits between the Balkan and Sredna Gora mountain ranges in central Bulgaria, and...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
By: Neurowear

According to Forbes magazine, 2014 is bringing back tight-rolled jeans headgear. Thankfully, most of it won't connect to braces or interfere with beer consumption like Joan Cusack's in Sixteen Candles, but much will look just...

Monday, February 20, 2012
Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from every...

Saturday, September 7, 2013
$42.95 - $149.95 from Onnit »

On the list of things that would really suck: 1) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 72-pound kettlebell with an incensed gorilla face carved into it; 2) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 500-pound incensed...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
$9.25 from Klecker Knives »

Klecker Knives gets the kids wielding folding lock-backs young. Their Trigger knife kit, edition glow-in-the dark, aspires to teach children ages 7 and up how to build their own pocket blade model. Now at first I wondered...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Monday, August 26, 2013
$33 from Unikia »

Compleat's FoodSkin seems like a better idea than a Ziploc bag because your sandwich won't rip or fall apart as you stuff it inside or later try to yank it back out. And it seems like a better idea than saran wrap because...

Sunday, September 22, 2013
$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014
$20.99 - $37.86 from Amazon »

Sanuk uses real, squishy, foot-contouring yoga mats to make several lines of flip flops for both men and women. I tried on a pair once a few years ago in the company's homeland of Southern California and they were probably...

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$21.79 from Firebox.com »

Dead or alive, you're coming with me. Robocop might drag you kicking and screaming out of bed in the morning like a big douchebag, but Robocup plays the good cop. He combats your fatigue and eases you into the harsh day ahead...