A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, September 3, 2013
$520 - $565 from Trail Insight »

I didn't realize there were people out there into running or hiking a trail, and then doing more grunt work grooming or reconfiguring it as their reward for finishing without passing out. Is this a new extreme sport? I also...

Monday, June 3, 2013

1, 2, Freddy's comin' for you. 3, 4 better lock the door. 5, 6 get a crucifix.... My sister let me watch A Nightmare on Elm Street when I was 5 and I think it made me wet the bed in fear every night for like 3 months, and...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011
$16.12 from Amazon »

Although Agent BloodRayne used a similar arm blade to exterminate vampires, this non-digitized replica is made of stainless steel, not silver, so it will be of little assistance in your mission to annihilate Edward Cullen, Bill Compton, and Stefan Salvatore. If wielded properly, it may, however, cull the masses of rabid fan girls and lonely, overweight cat owners sucking up space at Comic-Con....

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$100 from Wish.co.uk »

Simulate ZDay. Fight zombies. Know how Marty McFly felt when he walked down the streets of 1955. But you'll be even further back in time. You'll be in 1940, in the midst of WWII. Instead of fighting off your teenage mom's...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$4,500 from Ebay »

Maker International VentureCraft Corp. describes the One-Person SportSub Solo as a "yacht toy." That can't be a good sign of its retail price. Another bad omen: their Website lists no costs for the submarines themselves, but...

Monday, March 4, 2013
$4.99 from ThinkGeek »

The little bit of good news I have for you today is that we are only 16 days away from spring and 27 days away from Easter*, which means Peep eating season is upon us! Even better tidings for Minecraft die-hards: Marshmallow Creeps. Quad packs of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, preservatives, green dye, and carnauba wax all spun into the likeness of Minecraft's notorious bearers of hostility and explosives....

Thursday, September 13, 2012
$3,500 from Peter Lynn Kites »

I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and luminol...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$160 from 80stees.com »

By the power of Greyskull! No, wait, that's not it. It's Morphin time! Uh...getting closer, but...no. Hold on...ah, here we go. These robotic lion fangs were impeding the movement of my cerebral neurons. Activate interlock!...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$124.99 from Jacob Bromwell »

Jacob Bromwell's set of Old West shot glasses are pure copper, handmade by up to 5 American workers, and in very limited supply. So get 'em while they're smokin' hot, and you just might have the perfect beginnings for staying...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
$29.95 from Etsy »

This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$116.78 from Amazon »

Happy New Year! Here's something to make you feel fat, ugly, and depressed motivate and inspire you to reach your 2014 fitness goals! The Fitbit Aria Wi-Fi Smart Scale measures weight, body fat percentage, and body mass index...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$22.83 from Amazon »

What time is it? Let me check my Secret Agent projection gun alarm clock. Shoot! It's time to get up....

Monday, September 3, 2012
$27.99 from Amazon »

The Ole Smoky Moonshine family has honed the art of whiskey makin' since the early days of Smoky Mountain settlement. Distilling was a way to survive during hard times, both in terms of economics and, we presume, morale. After...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$25k - $35k from ideum »

Ideum's 55" Platform and Pro Touch Tables, carnivals of interactive media suitable for simultaneous use by up to 4 computing people, have just been walloped by the Hammer of Thor in the form of the company's newest advancement...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and Bodice Rockers fall down but they get right back up and stand just as tall as they did before. So I guess they're more similar to Rocky Balboa than Weebles. But they're not fighters...

Friday, November 1, 2013
$42.95 - $169.95 from Onnit »

First it was the apes that got the swing and pood treatment. It was only natural, really. Now, fitness...dare I say maverick?...Onnit has designed another limited edition set of freakish kettlebells, this time giving a nod...

Friday, January 6, 2012
$5 from Ravelry »

Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn you...

Monday, October 28, 2013

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS CAN'T...

Friday, October 26, 2012
$17,500 - $19,500 from Tourneau »

Devon Timepieces has harnessed the raw, industrial, I-Love-Lucy technology of conveyor belts in their Time Belt series of watches. Each wicked, steampunky wrist ornament has a five-piece belt assembly mounted on a central...

Monday, January 9, 2012
$16.95 from InstaMorph »

The next time you throw your hands to the sky and lament, "Argh! If only I had a doohickey with a flat lip on that end and a kind of hook-claw on the other that's small enough to fit in this slot here, and strong enough to...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$50 from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Discontinued

The 3D Converter system extracts pertinent data from any video game and translates it into 3D format viewable on any 2D or 3D TV. Yep, Frogger in 3D on my 18" Sony from 2005. Now I know what all those elderly people at the...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$189 - $339 from Christie Street »

Last week I recounted my triumphant tale of Scrabble domination over a girl I once dated. At that time, I literally had not seen...or even really thought about...this girl for at least 3 years. But then I wrote about her competitiveness...

Monday, December 24, 2012
$349.99 from Cat Wheel Company »

In a way I hate the idea of the Toy-Go-Round cat hamster wheel because really the only kinds of cats I like are the lazy fat ones that look as if they might go into cardiac arrest if they even stood up. But in another way...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$1.03 million from Porsche »

Porsche has entered the hybrid market with its 918 Spyder: progressive or a bunch of pomp and circumstance? I mean, sure, it's time for all car makers to contribute to the trek towards alternative vehicle fueling, but the...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
$5,500 from Opulent Items »

Check out the Optimus Prime of seating designs. Though slightly less cool than the balls lounger, Francesca Donati's chameleon lounger still looks way more comfortable and relaxing than my hangover. Whoa, non sequitur. Why...

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

25 years of life in Springfield are honored with a potato. Plus some bulbous eyes, a scruffy muzzle, and Woo hoo! a pink-frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles. Mr. Potato Head Homer Simpson has been released as an homage to...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
$5,400 from Frontgate »

The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's how...

Monday, October 14, 2013
$73 - $128 from Etsy »

Sterling silver, copper, and the aura of someone up to no good. Maybe a psycho chef. A sociopathic sadist. Your mom. (Zing! It's like Patrick Stewart. It never gets old.) Those are the primary components of jewelry shop Arrok's...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
$1,196 from UD Replicas »

From the brilliant mind of Lucius Fox and "the copycats" at UD Replicas comes this faithful rendition of the bat suit as worn by Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Painstaking work with the original screen suits has gone into capturing...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$885 from Uggi Lights »

Talk about lighting that makes a statement, sets a mood, and shows up all your friends with bass, elk, and golden retriever taxidermy. Skinned cod fish, or Uggi, lights are the fantastical creations of Icelandic artists Dgg...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$30 from Amazon »

It's Dungeons & Dragons for the boozin' 21+ crowd. DrunkQuest combines fast-paced card game mechanics with shades of the D&D fantasy world with a few 6-packs and a liter or two of Captain Morgan for a party game of competitive...

Monday, October 28, 2013
$139 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console me...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$45 - $250 from Morlock Enterprises »

Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the Fighting...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
$9.95 from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in it...

Monday, January 7, 2013
$235 - $260 from GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler....

Monday, April 8, 2013
$119 - $199.95 from Amazon »

Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable Umbrella...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$58.95 from Lovelysally »

Laser Cats has finally made the leap from SNL short to Italian women's fashion. Sans copyright infringement given that these leggings' cats shoot lasers from their eyes instead of their mouths, and appear to be permanently...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
$50 from Etsy »

Art for people who like to read the words and for those who like to just look at the pictures. Pete Ware pours his graphic design talents into this series of swell prints depicting iconic movie characters shaped from the typography...

Friday, February 1, 2013
$67,500 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

If they were going put the effort into creating a bathtub out of airplane and race car materials, couldn't they have made it look like an airplane or race car? Not that I wouldn't still clamor to spend some QT in Corcel's...

Monday, September 5, 2011
$1,108.53 from Amazon »

Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian hats...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$99 - $119 from Amiigo »

What if you had a tiny device to track your reps, sets, duration, speed, and intensity? Would you work out more? Would you work out harder? Yeah, me neither, but I'd use it to barter with a strong, fit person who actually...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$11 from Etsy »

While my ideal Bat Key would start the ignition to a Batmobile, I guess one that makes an X on my computer screen will suffice until I raise $620,000 and learn how to drive a stick. Etsy artist Anya's Batman Keyboard Stickers...

Friday, March 8, 2013
$10 - $25 from Machine of Death »

Just when I think games have been completely overshadowed by Breaking Bad viewing parties and orgies as the most popular indoor group activities, Kickstarter projects like Machine of Death: The Game of Creative Assassination...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$12.41 from Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of crme de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Sunday, September 2, 2012
Discontinued

Antagonist. Necromancer. Lord of the Rings. SRG Armoury brings the darkness and malevolence of Tokien's Sauron to life in this custom-made Full Plate Armor Set. Constructed from 16 - 18 gauge mild steel, all suits are forged...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Thursday, February 2, 2012
$270 from Valyrian Steel »

Though it ultimately couldn't keep Ned Stark's head affixed to his body, the Valyrian steel sword Ice did serve his majesty of Winterfell well. And, should you be one of the lucky keepers of the North to grasp the formidable...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$56 - $112 from Edge of Belgravia »

It's cool how one color option for these ceramic knives is Zombie-Slaying Green, so I can pretend I'm hacking up the flesh and bones of the undead each time I try to slice an onion without crying like the doctor just slapped...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$25 from Bakery Ave. »

I guess you could make cheeseburger cupcake brownies yourself if you know how to bake cupcakes and brownies, and apply icing without squirting it all over your kitchen cabinets, but I don't. Also, things always taste better...

Monday, March 12, 2012
$5.90 from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those...

Thursday, January 2, 2014
$19.49 from Amazon »

"I LOVE this. I was worried this would look tacky or cheap, but it really is awesome looking. Pleasantly surprised. Goes great with other wolf bathroom accessories I have." Thank you, Amazon reviewer Adelaide. Your assessment...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$10.70 from Amazon »

Everyone loves superheros. Super villains. Super powers. Super tales of good vs. evil. And flashy graphics. Don't forget the loud spectral colors and ripped/buxom exaggerations of flashy graphics. That's the allure of comic...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
$29.99 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
$1,575 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's...

Friday, June 28, 2013
$11.88 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Monday, November 26, 2012
$47.70 from Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind small...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
$35.96 from Amazon »

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and people who live in marble towers should watch out because...bombs away! MindWare's Q-Ba-Maze 2.0 is an interlocking system of brightly-hued cubes that tinkerers small...

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Thursday, November 7, 2013
$218.64 from Amazon »

I used to be secretly jealous of those incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Jagermeister. Then they all got replaced by incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Fireball. So now I'm jealous of Fireball chillers. At least...

Thursday, March 14, 2013
$34.95 - $199.95 from Muzzleshot »

A few months ago I would have been all over the Muzzleshot, a tactical shot glass crafted in the likeness of M16A2 weapons' flash hider. But after a recent, constitution-crushing experience with Fireball in DC, I'm sticking...

Sunday, September 25, 2011
$9.95 from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is a tough...

Friday, November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100 from Shapeways »

Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face...

Friday, April 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One time when I was in New Orleans this voodoo lady tried to sell me some bath salts under the guise that they would enlarge my manhood if I soaked in them while listening to Prince's "Sexy MF", but I said, "No thank you...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$99.95 from Bass Egg »

I received a Bass Egg vibration speaker of my own yesterday, and although it looks more like an egg that has been cut in half with both pieces inverted and then fused back together than an egg freshly ejected by a hen (it...

Saturday, July 13, 2013
$14 from archer »

Archer's macho-scented room sprays have a lofty goal: putting a positive spin on the statement that a place smells like 5 guys living in a 2-bedroom apartment. Can they succeed? I don't know, but hauling out scents such as...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Discontinued

An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$120 - $130 from QSTO »

With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose...