A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, August 24, 2014
$4.95 from Archie McPhee »

Finger Hands. Horrifying. Pure. Horror. And I thought Man Hands were hilarious. How can there be such a disparity between undersized and oversized? Archie McPhee tries to make it all seem fun 'n' clever by pointing out that...

Tuesday, December 24, 2013
$12 - $144 from Skoshbox »

Listen up, 11th hour shoppers, plus anyone else who loves candy, surprises, and/or the delicacies of Japan (the edible, not the human ones): Skoshbox, a deliverer of monthly, fresh-off-the-boat candies and snacks from the...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$385 from Boone Rings »

The next generation of bottle opener rings settles into a titanium home. With roommates. Designer Bruce Boone has thrown ultra-sharp twins Straight Blade and Serrated Blade, wily bad boy, Saw, and ...yahtzee!...the dapper Mr. Mustache Comb into the mix for what surely has the makings for the next big multi-tool Real World....

Friday, September 19, 2014
$2,400 from GNR 8 »

If Slimer slimed in a bathtub, it would probably look something like this illuminated Jan Puylaert design. Only, like...slimier. But Puylaert's self-standing tubs with built-in neon lighting systems don't look dirty or supernaturally...

Friday, October 19, 2012

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...

Friday, March 14, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

It's almost spring! Only...I don't know, however many days until the first day of spring...days away. What am I, a meteorologist? I'm 80% sure it happens sometime this month. And that means it's time to plant your garden. Or, if you're a real man, your survival seeds. This vault is stuffed solid with packets of fruit and vegetable fetuses primed to grow big and strong and nutritious enough to feed...

Sunday, December 22, 2013
$120 from Kickstarter »

Yes, they shuffle. But they can't do the bridge/easy stack after the riffle, so if you want a deck of carbon fiber playing cards, you'll have to be willing to press them together and realign them into a neat pile yourself....

Tuesday, July 15, 2014
$135 from Float »

I used to have a membership to one of those isolation tank therapy places (coincidentally also called Float). You'd climb in these completely enclosed, completely pitch black sci-fi looking pods filled with about a foot of...

Saturday, September 13, 2014
$149.50 from Amazon »

Dig a trench and feel grateful you and your friend Cornelius are bidding farewell to last night's Chinese takeout on a 2-passenger field latrine in your mama's backyard rather than pinching one off in a Belgian forest wondering...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get a flashlight...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Scottevest SeV Sterling jacket has 24 interior pockets. 24! That means it can hold my wallet (condoms), water bottle (lube), iPad (In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon DVD), sunglasses (vibrator), Bluetooth headset (butt...

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
$18.95 from Zazzle »

Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option...

Thursday, March 29, 2012
$11.95 from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$15.98 from Amazon »

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense tool....

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$35k from Prima Cinema »

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who did...

Friday, June 27, 2014
$79.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the Striiv Touch activity tracker and smartwatch for 20% off in the Dude Exclusives online store through July 2, 2014!...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies. Thankfully...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$14 from MixedMade »

I'm not sure I can wrap my head around the implications--the glorious, glorious implications--of what essentially amounts to the honey bear being left alone with the Sriracha rooster in a kitchen cabinet for too long. Bees...

Friday, December 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Even if you've never seen John Cleese perform the Monty Python skit leading to the creation of this terrific Ministry of Silly Walks watch--since I happen to be younger than my mama, I for one haven't--you can probably appreciate...

Saturday, June 14, 2014
$30 from TM »

If you're in search of your next great idea and don't happen to be sitting under an incandescent lightbulb suspended in mid-air, maybe the Inspiration Pad can help. Breaking all the rules of the college-ruled, this notebook...

Thursday, August 21, 2014
$1,640 from Michael & George »

All that's missing are the teeth marks. Michael & George pay homage to hardness and blackness with their HB Lamp, a 5-1/2' floor light shaped like a pencil. In and of itself a lamp created in the image of a #2 isn't that cool....

Friday, July 29, 2011
$54.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them...

Thursday, July 24, 2014
$129.95 from Amazon »

Did you know there's a Hall of Fame for knife makers? Well there is. And Ken Onion is in it. And when he's not fulfilling his Hall of Fame knife-making duties, he's collaborating with Work Sharp to design this Knife & Tool...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
By: Nike

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair and never...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Discontinued

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes them...

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Naturally those responsible for the World's Tackiest Sweaters would also have a hand in underwear with launching rockets, Statue of David family jewels, octopus-skull hybrids, and What Does the Fox Say? on it. But unlike the...

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$1,260 - $1,500 from Scan Computers »

Since the BBC officially licensed the TARDIS PC, Scan Computers was able to build it exactly to scale from the original prop schematics, match the interdimensional police box's precise Pantone color, and load its hard drive...

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,699 - $2,099 from PicoBrew »

Even at a $1,600 investment, it would really only take about 6 weeks of home brewing for me to recoup the cost of a PicoBrew Zymatic in consumed beer. For me, a 6-pack of brewskis that doesn't taste like a donkey's bunghole...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Like Food Huggers, Cover Blubbers are condom-ish pieces of sticky rubber that fit directly over leftovers for preservation and storage. Kind of like plastic wrap or foil, except Cover Blubbers actually adhere and stay put...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$500 from Huzza »

A carbon fiber handle holsters 120 layers of Swedish rose stainless damascus steel in this folding pocket knife fit for a pretty, pretty princess, or a male with extraordinarily refined and luxurious tastes. Like myself....

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Good news for men itching for superpowers but hesitant to accept the body-suctioning spandex--and in this case noxious spider bite--that often accompanies them. The Marvel Electronic Spidey-Sense T-Shirt grants a heightened...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A great way to settle arguments between siblings, the MMA throwdown bed gives parents the option to let their children battle to the death before night night time. No biting or hair pulling please....

Friday, April 18, 2014
$12 - $14 from Amazon »

They call it a high performance guitar pick, which in my mind means that the Pykmax should do the guitar strumming for me. Like a player piano, but completely inconspicuously so that the ladies I'm trying to impress think...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$149.86 from Amazon »

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with heart...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$250 - $900 from Dog Powered Scooter »

Oh good, dog sledding is now available for suburbia in July. It's a Dog. Powered. Scooter. For canine exercise? Sure. To enhance mobility of the elderly? Sounds good. So that I can be the one guy in town who travels by a yoke...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
By: Fixed

Those of you who follow the detailed accounts I provide of my illustrious life now know that I have racked up many hundreds of dollars in unpaid parking tickets. So many hundreds that you could technically upgrade the term...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$210 - $395 from PJ Reefs »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral...

Sunday, January 12, 2014
$222 from Sen.se »

I don't know about the name "Mother." This home and life sensor system's creators say they chose it because Mother takes care us. Our safety, our fitness. Our comfort and joy. She makes our lives "serene, healthy and pleasurable."...

Monday, April 14, 2014
$185 from BaseCampX »

I can't figure out why this slingshot is so expensive. It must be the one David used to slay Goliath. Alright then, give me a rock and a pair of eyeballs...and $200, Mama...and I'll see what I can do....

Saturday, April 12, 2014

What's so special about an "atomic" wristwatch paradoxically struggling to work itself down from prototype sizes as big as the wearer's wrist? Well. In tracking time, it loses just 1 second every 1,000 years. Because its foundation...

Thursday, October 9, 2014
$35 - $50 from Kickstarter »

San Diego-based woodworker Dave Stencil has decided to bring zombies to the kitchen. To "make quality cutting boards that showcase your love for braaaaiiiins...and well prepared meals."...

Saturday, July 12, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Box Contents: 2 Hats; 3 Doodies. In life we sling mud and we talk shit and also many animals with opposable thumbs literally throw their excrement, so...uh...it's only logical that someone created a party game wherein players...

Monday, August 11, 2014
$59.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

The Air-Fi Metro2 Bluetooth headphones provide crystal clarity and noise isolation at 40% off retail price for a limited time. Get them for just $59.99 from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Monday, August 22, 2011
Sold Out from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit an...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$75 - $350 from Amazon »

Defense wins games. (Right, Peyton?) Defensive driving prevents accidents. Proof of self-defense averts jail time. And a Pelican crushproof barrier defending your laptop against fat Aunt Jan tripping over a strap of the backpack...

Saturday, November 17, 2012
$9.82 - $23.95 from Amazon »

Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair of...

Thursday, May 29, 2014
$12.48 from Amazon »

Need to cover your crack? Driveway Medic says it will prevail where liquid crack filler falters. A roll of self-adhesive asphalt repair fabric, the patcher applies in seconds via a simple peel-and-stick method, covering, sealing...

Sunday, July 20, 2014

No more must you be the son of God or the father of Luke Skywalker to have your face toasted on a piece of whole wheat. Burnt Impressions, a Vermont-based novelty toaster company, will take any hi-res photo selfie you've got--or...

Thursday, May 29, 2014
$40 - $60 from Hat Trick BBQ »

America may not be rife with hockey fanatics like our Canadian compadres, but Hat Trick BBQ still has pretty much all of English-speaking North America covered with their recycled hockey stick grilling utensil sets. Because...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers...

Saturday, March 29, 2014
$22 from Amazon »

One time when I was a young boy I, like all young boys, wanted to hang a Tawny Kitaen poster on my wall. But I didn't have any poster putty on hand, so as an alternative I licked its 4 corners and stuck Tawny to my closet...

Sunday, December 15, 2013
$35.95 from Amazon »

Skypanels are intended to make places such as waiting rooms and hospitals and dentists' chairs and baby nurseries less awful than they inherently are by covering harsh fluorescent lights and diffusing their searing output...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$116 - $158 from Crocosaurus Cove »

I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Though restricted to 30mW and 1.5W laser rather than actual plasma energy, Patrick Priebe's replica Plasma Cutter from the Dead Space video game series will still singe a block of wood and sear through a trash bag, and make...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014
$29.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

The key to turning your contemporary American comedy into a cult comedy classic: crusty day 3 stubble. And now you can relish all of your favorite razor-abhorring comedic actors of the 2000s ad infinitum with this Ultimate...

Friday, January 24, 2014
$49.90 from Brando »

The Jedis may have the Force, but the Dark Side has power. Tons of it. Enough to take your iPhone, Android, or Windows mobile phone from dead to fully juiced and ready for battle. One round with the Darth Vader lightsaber...

Friday, September 26, 2014

From Shark Tank to Crunch Fitness to your living room. Or backyard. Or the beach. Be one of the first to get a RipSurfer X surf trainer and its shredding total-body workouts for $125 off retail price with this Dude Exclusives...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$580 from NLO Moto »

NLO Moto, recently of Predator 2 and Dredator 3 motorcycle helmet fame, has popped out a third mythical beast to add to its alien headwear menagerie. While the Orc Dragon deviates from using a Schwarzenegger nemesis as its...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
By: blocks

Like Phonebloks (i.e., Google's Project Ara), the forthcoming BLOCKS smartwatch will encompass an array of detachable modules. Wearers will be able to snap together hardware, sensor, app, and "dummy" (for sizing) BLOCKS to...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014
$80 from Jolt »

"Jolt is a wearable sensor that allows parents and coaches to track and evaluate their children's head impacts in real-time." I don't know why that line is so funny to me. Maybe because I've seen so much wearable tech over...

Friday, May 17, 2013
$8.57 from Amazon »

I don't think that's how you spell "wiener" or "cleaner", but I'm willing to overlook the mistake on account of the fact that my penis has been bugging me for its own soap ever since it got the wrong end of a bar I used to...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014
$104.99 from Etsy »

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.) Called...

Friday, August 1, 2014
$19.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the Icon Bluetooth Speaker for $19.99, 80 whole percentage points off its $100 retail value! Available for a limited time through the Dude Exclusives online store....

Friday, March 22, 2013
$258 - $403 from Amazon »

Extreme sport leg extensions. I'll say. Maybe you could strap on a pair of Poweriser stilts and bound around like a bunny rabbit, leaping up to 6-1/2' in the air, taking 16' giant steps, and running 100m sprints without breaking...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$12.99 from Amazon »

Great. Now when I don't catch the frisbee not only is it going to hit me in the face, it's going to hit me in the face and then bounce off up to 25 feet. The Sky Bouncer flies like a disc but ricochets off walls, floors, skulls...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
$99 from Yellow Jacket »

In an act of retaliation against its relegation to the uncomfortably jarring vibrate setting, the iPhone has summoned the Yellow Jacket, and plans to return the favor. In the form of a body-rocking 650,000 volts. The Yellow...