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Saturday, March 23, 2013
Gluttony Pants
$100 from Beta Brand »

I'm fine with unbuttoning my pants pursuant to acts of gluttony. Way more fine than I am with wearing elastic-waisted jeans, anyway. Dad. But this alternative, this pair of expandable pants designed with human garbage disposals like more...

Bar
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker
$49.95 from Home Wet Bar »

How do you feel about Home Wet Bar's decision to incorporate attributes of a mythic beast of the forests into one of their cocktail shakers? Right. The same as you'd feel about getting a full-body rubdown from Angelina Jolie: stoked more...

Sunday, November 18, 2012
In-Home USB Polygraph
$129.95 from Amazon »

Find out whose pants are on fire from the comfort of your own living room and USB port. The USB Polygraph for in-home use (read: barrels upon barrels of monkeys, particularly when anyone expected of cheating or doing other nefarious activities behind closed doors gets just drunk enough to be convinced that they're being hooked up for a simple blood pressure screening) claims 80% to 99% accuracy, more...

Sunday, August 26, 2012
Villain Chair
$7,146 from Firebox.com »

Being a villain isn't cheap. So, like most actors, rock stars, and former Presidents, villains raise funds for the administration of havoc and execution of attempts to rule the world by selling out. The Villain Chair, available at the more...

Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Deer Antler Handlebars

Taylor Simpson accidentally plowed into a deer with his Knight XV while barreling through Poughkeepsie several months ago and felt so bad about it he swore off driving altogether and converted the slain buck's antlers into a set of more...

Monday, December 31, 2012
The Dark Knight Bookshelves
Discontinued

Bring the Nolanverse to your living room with a set of Dark Knight bookshelves. Made to order. Just beam your Bat-Signal into the sky and designer Fahmi Sani will get to work erecting a set of webbed-winged night stalkers to hold your most precious literary masterpieces and Batman action figures. I like the book selections in the photo. I see some Vonnegut. Some Yann Martel. Hunger Games box set? more...

Thursday, October 18, 2012
Floating Tablecloth

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here, a floating more...

Sunday, February 10, 2013
Nutella & Go! Snack Packs
$24.10 from Amazon »

You know what contentious pop culture debate on which I have no opinion? Nutella vs. Peanut Butter. Seriously Internet forums? You're warring over this? Each is a transcendentally delicious standout in the world of spreads. Who cares more...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The Football Briefcase
$499.99 from Urban Mercenaries »

F nuclear codes and attacks. Booze, cards, Red Bull, cash, mints, and first aid are a real man's real tickets to power and life-altering--or at least night-altering--decisions. The briefcase. The weapons. The Football. Reinvented, redesigned, more...

Friday, October 26, 2012
Devon Time Belt Watches
$17,500 - $19,500 from Tourneau »

Devon Timepieces has harnessed the raw, industrial, I-Love-Lucy technology of conveyor belts in their Time Belt series of watches. Each wicked, steampunky wrist ornament has a five-piece belt assembly mounted on a central chassis to more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Nighttime Poison/Morning Antidote Coasters
$14.99 from 55 Hi's »

55 Hi's has already given us birthday cards that double as origami shot glasses. Now the paper virtuosos have some ideas for friendly--and not so friendly--potions to fill them with. One side of the Pick Your Poison coaster set serves more...

Sunday, April 01, 2012
Carrot Cigarettes

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers looking to more...

Friday, October 19, 2012
Quadski - Amphibious ATV

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs' jet ski-ATV more...

Sunday, October 07, 2012
Star Wars Glasses
$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors and trademark embellishments more...

Sunday, March 31, 2013
Big Wooly Balls Rugs
$11,500 from MYK »

And I thought the giant grizzly bear hide would be the most wondrous piece of ursine-themed home decor I saw all week. This rug from Berlin textile firm MYK, though, isn't just big and bear-y, it's made out of fun wooly balls that kind more...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
Henty Wingman Suit Commuter Bag
$187.80 from Henty »

This Goose protects suits from wrinkles and creases, totes tablets, and staves off the rain. Provided you don't fall off your bike or back into something while walking and kill him too. The Henty Wingman, a heavy-duty tarpaulin gym/utility more...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Urine Powered Batteries

Yes, $62 for six AAs is steep, but they hold their charge for up to 10 years, and, let's face it, you're never going to have trouble finding a couple mils of pee when they need a reboot. NoPoPos (No Pollution Power) are eco-friendly more...

Friday, February 22, 2013
Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter
$275.72 from Amazon »

The worst water I've ever had comes out of the taps in southwestern Florida--it tastes like someone spiked it with eggplant and a mild thickening agent--and I hope to keep it that way. If I encounter anything less potable than that, more...

Thursday, September 13, 2012
Life-Size Blue Whale Kite
$3,500 from Peter Lynn Kites »

I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet long, just like more...

Monday, March 04, 2013
Fantasy Master Ring Knife
Sold Out from Amazon »

Oh, I see what they did. Put a knife on the knight's helmet where the plume usually goes. So it looks less dashing and, er, girly and more likely to leave numerous scars on its wearer. No, I'm sorry, make that its Fantasy Master. No more...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Built-in Pocket Square T-Shirt
$24 - $39 from Voy Voy »

This yuppy East Coast trend baffles me. But VoyVoy built-in pocket square T-shirts constitute one I could support without feeling like a pretentious tool. Because unlike numerous layered Polos with their collars up, pocket squares are more...

Friday, January 11, 2013
Star Wars Death Star Heart Necklace
$10 from Etsy »

Christmas: Over. Valentine's Day: Dammit! Still to come. But get your wife/girlfriend/favorite cheese girl at the Whole Foods a Star Wars Death Star Heart Necklace, and you'll both check another gift off your list and make staring at more...

Saturday, September 08, 2012
Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole
$449 from Platinum Stages »

Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how many miles the more...

Sunday, November 04, 2012
Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch
$32.49 - $149.99 from Amazon »

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor. more...

Monday, June 04, 2012
Simple.TV - HDTV & DVR for Cable Cutters
$299 from Kickstarter »

Simple.TV is the latest in the vicious volley of cable companies screwing us, and us screwing them right back. For those fed up and ready to disavow cable altogether...but bummed about not being able to watch Modern Family or Breaking more...

Monday, August 06, 2012
Big-O Stunt Skates

Despite their being shaped like big Os, I'm not sure about Big-O as a name for these stunt skates. I'm pretty sure if I were to try them, the words "Big O" would not be at the forefront of my mind. I'd call mine Big I Didn't Think My more...

Monday, August 15, 2011
AK47 Ice Cube Tray
$4.97 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics, so who more...

Saturday, March 03, 2012
Marine Mine Furniture

Estonian sculptor Mati Karmin has been creating art for over 25 years, but his marine mine furniture and decor are perhaps his most breathtaking work to date, and indeed some of the most unique pieces you'll ever take out a second mortgage more...

Thursday, June 28, 2012
Original Thai Red Bull
$1.90 from Thailand Unique »

Red Bull creator Chaleo Yoovidhya died in March 2012, leaving behind an unparalleled energy drink phenomenon and industry. Not since Coca-Cola and YouTube spectacles involving numerous tabs of Alka Seltzer has a carbonated beverage more...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friendly Toilet Seat Reminder

When speaking of our health, of preventing the ingestion of fecal matter thrust into the air during the toilet flushing process, is there really a need to mince words? Beat around the bush? Employ euphemisms? Woodpecker Laboratories more...