A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, June 4, 2014
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Does a necktie equipped with a laser pointer and MOLLE system take the current tactical fad a step too far? Yeah, but...I kind of want one, so...on second thought, definitely not. ThinkGeek's tactical tie is fitted with a...

Friday, June 14, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Wait. Aren't praying mantises hot, yet evil, women who devour men like Xander Harris in that one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? And does that mean you're telling me I can purchase and hatch between 50 and 200 women out...

Friday, January 17, 2014
$3,500 from Etsy »

If I could ever afford to spend thousands of dollars on a custom-built castle whose drawbridge doubles as a Murphy bed, do you think I would buy it for my kid? Absolutely not. Partly because that fantastical fortress of slumber would be all mine, and partly because the only reason I would ever be able to afford a Murphy bed fashioned after a castle would be that I was smart enough not to pass along...

Tuesday, April 1, 2014
$299.95 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

A gold toilet seat: ostentatious. Indulgent. Ridiculous. A carbon fiber toilet seat: inconspicuous. Practical. Awesome. It's not an extravagance, it's...it's...well, I mean you need a toilet seat, right? And you need to treat...

Monday, May 5, 2014
$49.95 from Amazon »

Yes, the Litter Kwitter is a real thing. Vendor Firebox, known for their elaborate April Fool's pranks, repeatedly assures us that this seeming 20-pound chocolate Lionel Richie head of cat supplies is not a joke. So now that...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Plant flowers, not bullet wounds. That's ST lab's rosy goal with Flower Shell. The Scandinavian company, which has developed several trendy, quirky, and what they hope will be considered visionary products, plans to release their 12-gauge shotgun shells filled with the shooter's choice of 12 different flowering seeds in the very near future. Fingers crossed the very near future is before Valentine's...

Thursday, July 10, 2014
$99.99 from Amazon »

Take off the Oculus Rift and give your head and eyes a break from the cranio-ophthalmological strain of VR gaming. Slip on this...thing that looks a lot like the Oculus Rift, and feel your tension and fatigue slip away as...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sold Out from threadless »

I Park Like an Idiot stickers have two outstanding selling points. 1) Applying one to the bumper or window of a deserving vehicle will give its user an instant boost, likely eliminating the crankiness and ill-will evoked by...

Thursday, June 19, 2014
$84.31 - $130.92 from Amazon »

The PetSafe SmartDoor at least partially solves both the #1 problem with owning a dog, and the #1 problem with owning a dog door: having to take care of it; and home security. Available in 2 sizes, the dog door installs through...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag...

Monday, June 23, 2014
$12.06 from Amazon »

Rafting? Fishing? Boating? Bending over a toilet? Don't lose your sunglasses to the laws of density again! BlueWater's floating sunglasses have both a lightweight frame and neoprene foam lining to guarantee they won't sink...

Tuesday, July 1, 2014
$5 - $15 from Tattly »

I think I want to get permanently inked with: a pair of pliers; a pirate ship; a snarling grizzly bear; and a soft-serve ice cream cone, but I'd like to test drive them for a couple days before finalizing the decision. Crafted...

Sunday, March 2, 2014
$149.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This pillow saves the person sleeping next to you the trouble of "inadvertently" delivering an elbow to the ribs when you're snoring louder than a wounded bull. How? First it detects these disturbances of the peace with an...

Monday, June 25, 2012
Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online...

Saturday, March 15, 2014
$79.95 from Amazon »

Even though J-Me's horizontal shoe rack doesn't save much more space or prove to be all that different in practice than a normal shelving unit for shoes, I find it's effect exponentially cooler. On its own, the simple piece...

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$10.56 from Amazon »

Did you just get turned down for yet another job at the town spy agency? Did the seamstress chortle when you brought in your new suit to be hemmed? Has it been a long...long...time since you've had sex? If you're entering...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mom), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$2,549 from Snolo Sleds »

Carbon fiber. That stuff is pretty light, right? Hey! Cornelius! Good news! Next time we sneak onto the golf course to go sledding it's going to be WAY easier to schlep our implements back up the hill from the bottom! We'll...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014
$149 - $199 from oPhone »

oPhone and its app oSnap believe them when they say some of the strongest memories we have are those we associate with scents. That around 90% of tasting is smelling. That odors elicit emotions in a way that sights and sounds...

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Just as efficient and clever, and even more agreeable to look at than this balcony BBQ is this balcony BBQ, the Hot Pot grill from black+blum. A sizzler and herb garden rolled into one, the terra cotta pot's planted top lifts...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$33.50 from The Fowndry »

The battle is in full-swing. It's Humans vs. Winter. The prize: Grilling Season. What weapon will you use to fight your way past the blustery cold and through the trenches piled with snow? I choose lightsaber. Because my motto...

Friday, June 29, 2012
$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both traditional...

Friday, April 4, 2014
$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The bald eagle. The symbol of American freedom soaring majestically through the air. It's magical. Stirring. Glorious. It's...uh, it's flying kind of low. It's--holy crap! It's about to T-bone that tree! Cornelius, you ball...

Friday, August 15, 2014
$15 - $25 from Etsy »

Yes they're real beetle wings. From the iridescent Elytra Sternocera beetle of Thailand. Apparently beetlewing art is a traditional form of jewelry making once widely practiced throughout ancient Asia. And now widely practiced...

Thursday, July 19, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$886 - $1,271 from Jolan van der Wiel »

Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel not only created these Fraggle-Rock-meets-Super-Mario-Brothers-meets-Gotham-City hybrids, he also created the simple wood-framed machine used to forge them. Summoning the forces of gravity...

Saturday, August 2, 2014
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Breaking Bad pink teddy bear. It fell from the sky. From innocence. From grace. Lost an eye. Suffered massive burns to its left side. But it survived. It even landed in a swimming pool, so it wasn't just saved, it was...

Sunday, April 13, 2014
$20 from KFC »

A corsage with a big fat KFC fried chicken leg nestled in the center. That might be the one thing I'd consent to reliving high school for. Can you imagine how good promfuls of girls flailing chicken wrists on the dance floor...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
Discontinued

At first I was like, "Huh. Star Wars auction paddles and rhythmic gymnastics ribbons. Ummm...neat?" But then I looked up what BDSM is* and suddenly the gallery of items before me got a lot more interesting. GeekKink's Star...

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Wednesday, July 2, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

This is the most kind-hearted shark there is. Before he attacks and eats you, he's going to get you drunk. Beer or wine, my friend?...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$79 from Cole-Bar »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

Thursday, April 24, 2014
$10.15 from Amazon »

Over 300 Lansky BladeMedic knife sharpener reviewers have geeked out and waxed poetic about its astute capabilities and all-around magnificence. As for me, the last time I tried to sharpen a steak knife I lost a small nub...

Monday, June 30, 2014

No need to knead, noodle lovers. Or mix, feed, or crank for that matter. Just pour water, flour, egg...and whatever other edible Eastern magic creates the kinky deliciousness that is ramen...into the Philips Noodle Maker and...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$994.95 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in my...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of you...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$75 - $95 from GORUCK »

GORUCK makes this pair of military-grade gym bags from 1000 D ballistic or double-layered CORDURA. As far as I can tell, that means they're burly and water resistant, but will probably grow to smell like a combination of the...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$35.98 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Nom, nom, nom. It's Hasenpfeffer meets the next-generation three wolf moon shirt. Your days of gnawing on leathery old rabbit parts that taste like a combination of barnyard and the positive ends of AA batteries are over....

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$300 from Kickstarter »

Sometimes it's humbling when you enter into the domain of professionals and hobbyists who do things that both blow your mind and make you feel like a complete jackass for your inability to understand how they accomplish any...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.16 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Wednesday, September 10, 2014
$79.99 - $99.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

PC users get 20% off ($79.99) and Mac users get 50% off ($99.99) Dragon NaturallySpeaking and Dragon Dictate speech recognition software courtesy of the Dude Exclusives online store!...

Thursday, March 6, 2014

"The essence of Oscar Mayer bacon will strum at your nostril strings like no other." While the Oscar Mayer brand has never been my first choice at the pork candy store, it will definitely be my first choice at the scent-emitting...

Sunday, July 13, 2014
$250 - $300 from Custom Made »

As the DC Cinematic Universe plans to do in 2016, Matt Watkins of Earthforge combines the Batman and Superman logos in this sterling silver Batman v Superman ring. And like all items sold through online marketplace Custom...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$125 - $179 from Amazon »

A less expensive alternative to the Crypteks USB Drive, the Apricorn Aegis Secure Key Flash Drive boasts military grade full-disk AES 256-bit CBC hardware encryption, further protected by a 7- to 15-digit PIN-activated alphanumeric...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want to be...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$47.99 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving as...

Monday, May 19, 2014
$42.34 - $49.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing promotes the merger of exercise and beer drinking like summertime. Hydro Flask, makers of traditional BPA-free insulated water bottles, also have a 64-ounce insulated beer growler in their collection....

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning. Zing!...

Friday, October 25, 2013
$10.58 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea, a military-grade...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Monday, February 20, 2012
Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from every...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$12.99 from Amazon »

So, uh...you think that Obol girl in the video is 18? I mean, I'm just asking. Out of...academic curiosity. And as a way to make anti-soggy cereal bowl conversation....

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$79 from SparqEE »

Getting up off the couch to go make a cell phone sounds even rougher than getting up off the couch to go make a sandwich. But if you're up for either, good on you. I recommend pastrami and swiss on rye for the sandwich, and...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Thursday, July 24, 2014
$17.95 from Firebox.com »

Is this toilet paper scarier than shit? Only one way to find out: eat 4 Beef Chalupa Supremes at 10 p.m., and then settle in for The Drop when it...and nature...calls out to you around midnight....

Wednesday, June 18, 2014
$194.99 from Amazon »

It's a circa 1977 vision of the future in wristwatch form! Check out the R2-D2 Collector's watch. It kind of walks the precarious line between one more helping of Star Wars gimcrack and an F'ing awesome analog timepiece, doesn't...

Monday, January 20, 2014
Giveaway: SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Set 73
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Meat lovers, sharpen your canines and whet your incisors. Here's your chance to enter to win a pair of SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Sets for tableside seasoning, searing, and devouring of your favorite marbled slabs (a...

Saturday, April 26, 2014
$42.76 from Amazon »

This Otis tactical pouch reminds me of that classic TV trope. A teenage boy awkwardly heads to the front door to pick up a teenage girl for their first date, and when he walks in the house there sits her dad. Cleaning his...

Monday, January 27, 2014
Giveaway: Year's Supply of Beef Jerky 53
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win an entire year's supply of California cut-and-cured beef jerky from Get Some Jerky! That's 52 bags, 5 savory flavors, and a $364 value! Holy mouthwatering, protein-packed cow!...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$125 from Amazon »

Projects Watches describes its timepieces as wearable architecture. I don't think they mean literally wearable architecture like the Sleep Suit, but maybe more like how if you take a building and extract its defining components...

Saturday, September 7, 2013
$42.95 - $149.95 from Onnit »

On the list of things that would really suck: 1) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 72-pound kettlebell with an incensed gorilla face carved into it; 2) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 500-pound incensed...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Tuesday, June 3, 2014
$58.59 from Firebox.com »

Dinner of Doom is served. And even if you can't procure authentic chilled monkey brains to fill this bowl, I'm sure the effect of serving a culinary horror can still be achieved with the addition of more readily available...

Sunday, May 18, 2014
$65.56 from Amazon »

One thing I do not particularly enjoy is sharing food. Tapas and family-style dining, blech. I want my own plates. Further, I want to clean them quickly and then leer at someone who's still got half of their dishes left until...