A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, April 24, 2014
$10.78 from Amazon »

Over 300 Lansky BladeMedic knife sharpener reviewers have geeked out and waxed poetic about its astute capabilities and all-around magnificence. As for me, the last time I tried to sharpen a steak knife I lost a small nub...

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$10.56 from Amazon »

Did you just get turned down for yet another job at the town spy agency? Did the seamstress chortle when you brought in your new suit to be hemmed? Has it been a long...long...time since you've had sex? If you're entering...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$33.50 from The Fowndry »

The battle is in full-swing. It's Humans vs. Winter. The prize: Grilling Season. What weapon will you use to fight your way past the blustery cold and through the trenches piled with snow? I choose lightsaber. Because my motto is Go Galactic or Go Home. Also I just found a lightsaber I can convert to BBQ tongs for immediate commencement of food preparation after I slay the enemy....

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$2,549 from Snolo Sleds »

Carbon fiber. That stuff is pretty light, right? Hey! Cornelius! Good news! Next time we sneak onto the golf course to go sledding it's going to be WAY easier to schlep our implements back up the hill from the bottom! We'll...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$29.32 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mom), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Monday, June 25, 2012
$80 from Etsy »

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online shop, but for some reason, I feel like the Kama Sutra treatment she's given this particular set bumps them up from grossly to just borderline inappropriate for public display....

Thursday, July 24, 2014
$17.95 from Firebox.com »

Is this toilet paper scarier than shit? Only one way to find out: eat 4 Beef Chalupa Supremes at 10 p.m., and then settle in for The Drop when it...and nature...calls out to you around midnight....

Wednesday, June 18, 2014
$196.71 from Amazon »

It's a circa 1977 vision of the future in wristwatch form! Check out the R2-D2 Collector's watch. It kind of walks the precarious line between one more helping of Star Wars gimcrack and an F'ing awesome analog timepiece, doesn't...

Monday, May 19, 2014
$42.34 - $49.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing promotes the merger of exercise and beer drinking like summertime. Hydro Flask, makers of traditional BPA-free insulated water bottles, also have a 64-ounce insulated beer growler in their collection....

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$75 - $95 from GORUCK »

GORUCK makes this pair of military-grade gym bags from 1000 D ballistic or double-layered CORDURA. As far as I can tell, that means they're burly and water resistant, but will probably grow to smell like a combination of the...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
Discontinued

At first I was like, "Huh. Star Wars auction paddles and rhythmic gymnastics ribbons. Ummm...neat?" But then I looked up what BDSM is* and suddenly the gallery of items before me got a lot more interesting. GeekKink's Star...

Friday, June 29, 2012
$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both traditional...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of you...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$886 - $1,271 from Jolan van der Wiel »

Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel not only created these Fraggle-Rock-meets-Super-Mario-Brothers-meets-Gotham-City hybrids, he also created the simple wood-framed machine used to forge them. Summoning the forces of gravity...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$79 from Cole-Bar »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

Thursday, July 19, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$35.98 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Thursday, March 6, 2014

"The essence of Oscar Mayer bacon will strum at your nostril strings like no other." While the Oscar Mayer brand has never been my first choice at the pork candy store, it will definitely be my first choice at the scent-emitting...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$13.95 from Amazon »

So, uh...you think that Obol girl in the video is 18? I mean, I'm just asking. Out of...academic curiosity. And as a way to make anti-soggy cereal bowl conversation....

Tuesday, June 3, 2014
$58.59 from Firebox.com »

Dinner of Doom is served. And even if you can't procure authentic chilled monkey brains to fill this bowl, I'm sure the effect of serving a culinary horror can still be achieved with the addition of more readily available...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$300 from Kickstarter »

Sometimes it's humbling when you enter into the domain of professionals and hobbyists who do things that both blow your mind and make you feel like a complete jackass for your inability to understand how they accomplish any...

Saturday, April 26, 2014
$42.76 from Amazon »

This Otis tactical pouch reminds me of that classic TV trope. A teenage boy awkwardly heads to the front door to pick up a teenage girl for their first date, and when he walks in the house there sits her dad. Cleaning his...

Sunday, May 18, 2014
$65.56 from Amazon »

One thing I do not particularly enjoy is sharing food. Tapas and family-style dining, blech. I want my own plates. Further, I want to clean them quickly and then leer at someone who's still got half of their dishes left until...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Nom, nom, nom. It's Hasenpfeffer meets the next-generation three wolf moon shirt. Your days of gnawing on leathery old rabbit parts that taste like a combination of barnyard and the positive ends of AA batteries are over....

Thursday, July 10, 2014
$630 from Toer »

Clouds might be the new bacon. First they appeared in the sky (where their reign, like bacon's alongside a plate of scrambled eggs, is still very strong.) Then they showed up as an abstruse term for virtual storage/intangible...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$994.95 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in my...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.16 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want to be...

Monday, January 20, 2014
Giveaway: SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Set 73
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Meat lovers, sharpen your canines and whet your incisors. Here's your chance to enter to win a pair of SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Sets for tableside seasoning, searing, and devouring of your favorite marbled slabs (a...

Monday, January 27, 2014
Giveaway: Year's Supply of Beef Jerky 53
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win an entire year's supply of California cut-and-cured beef jerky from Get Some Jerky! That's 52 bags, 5 savory flavors, and a $364 value! Holy mouthwatering, protein-packed cow!...

Friday, October 25, 2013
$10.59 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea, a military-grade...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving as...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$125 from Amazon »

Projects Watches describes its timepieces as wearable architecture. I don't think they mean literally wearable architecture like the Sleep Suit, but maybe more like how if you take a building and extract its defining components...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$125 - $179 from Amazon »

A less expensive alternative to the Crypteks USB Drive, the Apricorn Aegis Secure Key Flash Drive boasts military grade full-disk AES 256-bit CBC hardware encryption, further protected by a 7- to 15-digit PIN-activated alphanumeric...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$79 from SparqEE »

Getting up off the couch to go make a cell phone sounds even rougher than getting up off the couch to go make a sandwich. But if you're up for either, good on you. I recommend pastrami and swiss on rye for the sandwich, and...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Monday, February 20, 2012
Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from every...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning. Zing!...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Saturday, September 7, 2013
$42.95 - $149.95 from Onnit »

On the list of things that would really suck: 1) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 72-pound kettlebell with an incensed gorilla face carved into it; 2) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 500-pound incensed...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$55 from D3 Protection »

Sap is an interesting word because it can connote both a sorry, pathetic loser and an object of grit and power that will F your S up. Here we will talk about the second version of sap because, in honor of summer's official...

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

I hope the electromagnetic fields projected by these Iron Man 3 glowing Arc Reactor coasters will keep my drinks safe this holiday season from particulates of snot and saliva ejected by fellow partygoers whose mothers never...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics, personality...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$269.95 from Amazon »

You and your Armies of the Confederacy aren't so scary at 1/6th your size, are you General? Whoa. What?! Did you just swing one lightsaber in each hand and a third in your left foot at me, Grievous? Crap. You have fully-articulated...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$295 - $1,689 from Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float around...

Monday, November 4, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

So what you're saying is that this simple stamp could be the solution to ridding myself of the 8' piles of credit card offers and guaranteed ways to pay off my student loads in 6 months and weird notices about taxes or something...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Sunday, September 22, 2013
$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Monday, June 16, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Get in the spirit of summer festivals and San Diego Comic-Con without spending a fortune. Or dropping trou. Here the iconic Princess Leia slave costume gets a more modest tank top treatment. Flesh-colored torso, bikini-clad...

Thursday, August 7, 2014

What's this? Reverse psychology at work? Nope, no mind games or salesman trickery here at all: name your price, and you'll get up to 7 actionable Web dev training courses. That's 93+ hours of instruction on topics ranging...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$99.99 from Brookstone »

The Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard is cool, but palm-sized? Come on, technology, you can do better than that. Let me see thumb-sized. Let me see belly button-sized. Let me see...oh, you have thumb-sized now? A Keychain Laser...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

They call it a reverse Molotov cocktail, nomenclature I find very slick, and thereby reason enough to invest in a throwable fire extinguisher. Plus, although I'm normally more one to fan the flames, I also recognize that ladies...

Thursday, September 4, 2014
$14.95 - $130 from Yomega »

Whether you're a Yo-yo novice, a yo-yo Yoda, or just an avid collector of all things Star Wars, Yomega's Star Wars yo-yos and yo-yo accessories, will make a campy and unique addition to your galactic repertoire. The company...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Giveaway: Griz Coats 58
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: Griz Coat

Our contribution to your Halloween bedecking comes courtesy of yard upon yard of faux fur, wads of foam finessed into the heads of beasts, and the very generous ursine and lupine outerwear enthusiasts at Griz Coat. Enter to...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$595 - $3,890 from Etsy »

A USS Enterprise engagement ring is what happens when true love collides with the reluctant decision to propose to some chick. As a male with a basic appreciation for the Star Trek TV series and movies, plus a deep respect...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$49.95 from Amazon »

I always thought my car required an oil change every 3,000 to 5,000 miles out of necessity, but according to Lubricheck, I shell out my precious duos of Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States and fellow Pisces...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$8.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

Sunday, May 4, 2014
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

This LEGO-esque utensil set makes me want to glue interlocking bricks to everything I own for easy wall storage on a baseplate. Belts, hats, game controllers, wallets, phone cases, underwear. I could wallpaper my entire room...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic...

Sunday, July 6, 2014
$43.89 - $49 from Amazon »

Cowabunga Bogeyman! These Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle nightlights--3D deco lights to be precise--don't look quite as grand as the Krang belt buckle, but I guess it fits the Hero's Narrative that Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo...

Saturday, July 5, 2014
$89.99 from Amazon »

On the upside you do not need to be able to read an analog clock face to tell time with this LED Word Clock. On the downside, you do need to be able to read. But on the upside again, word nerds the world over, rejoice! You...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$1,750 from A+R Store »

Funny, the guy shown using the Smokestack outdoor fire pit is exactly the type of guy I'd imagine to be entirely incapable of using a Smokestack outdoor fire pit. Half-kneeling in a suit with a baby axe? I guess that means...

Saturday, September 8, 2012
$449 from Platinum Stages »

Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how many...