The End Is in Sight Black Electrical Tape

Um, they need to put a track of The End Is in Sight double contrasting-colored lines on all spooled adhesive products, not just black electrical tape. This is so simple, yet so useful in saving me 42 seconds and foot-stamping...

Waterwolf MXP 3 - Waveless Surfboard

$8,050 - $10,350 from Waterwolf »

Surfing without the waves. Stand up paddle boarding without the work. Water skiing without the boat. Waterwolf's MXP 3 is an electric surfboard designed to torch through the lazy waters of lakes, bays, bayous, deltas...

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SnowLizard SLXtreme iPhone & iPad Cases

Giveaway: SnowLizard SLXtreme iPhone & iPad Cases

As indestructible and rugged as you are indefatigable and equal parts Shaun White and Bear Grylls. Enter to win a set of SLXtreme iPhone 5 and iPad 4 cases, plus Chest Mount and Nautical Kit accessories from SnowLizard!...

SCOUT Carbon Paramotor

$8,450 from Amazon »

The SCOUT, a combination of carbon fiber and mandrel bent aluminum, heralds itself the world's most advanced paramotor. I have no reason not to believe it. Not that I'd never seen or heard of any kind of paramotor prior...

Square Beam HD Flashlight

$101.95 from Amazon »

Hey kids, not only will Bushnell's Torch flashlight illuminate the bogeyman and monsters under your bed, its blast of a 165-lumen, perfectly square HD beam of light will probably blind them long enough for you to grab...

Maelstrom XM18 18,000 Lumen Spotlight

$2,199 from Going Gear »

The Foursevens Maelstrom XM18 uses 18 Cree XM-L2 LEDs to blast out a blinding 18,000 lumens of light. Not an exaggeration. Think you'll shoot your eye out with a BB gun? Look into, or even sideways, at the XM18 and both...

iMirror Interactive Glass

Like the Cybertecture Mirror from Tech2O, POSH View's iMirror seeks to bring the internet to a place the company says we spend over 168 hours, or 7 full days, every year: the looking glass....

Delta Six Open Source Gaming Gun

$265 from Delta Six »

The Delta Six might be the coolest looking gaming gun I've ever seen. I would consider buying one even if I couldn't use it for anything but picking my nose and curling up with on the couch at night (the latter particularly...

Garmin Head-Up Navigation Display

$129.99 from Garmin »

Keep my eyes on the road? Whaaat? I haven't done that since, like, 1996. For a while I would clip my nails and text while driving to pass the time, but after all of those creepy PSAs came out I could hardly even type...

Down There Repair

$15.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking...

Alcohol Shot Gun

$21.95 from Amazon »

I call shotgun! Wha--what the F Scott Fitzgerald, Cornelius?! You just sprayed me in the eye with...what is that, a...juicy fr--...no, a buttery nipple? You just squirted a buttery nipple at my face?! That's...that's...well...

Android RK3188 Mini PC

$79 from Amazon »

I like it when the computer costs only about 2.5 times more than the keyboard they recommend to go with it. The latest in Android's line of mini PCs, the RK3188 serves as an upgrade to the platform's RK3066 model. One...

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Solid Gray Hardshell Backpack

Giveaway: Solid Gray Hardshell Backpack

Become a futuristic Ninja Turtle and protect your precious gear! Enter to win a foam-lined hardshell backpack from Solid Gray (a $190 value)!...

Beast Head Shot Glasses

$28 from Molla Space »

Try some hair of the dog from the head of the bear. Become strong like bull with shot from bull. Take off the sheep's clothing with 1.7 ounces of 151 straight from the wolf. Look into the eye of the tiger as it sends...

Hibermate Sleeping Ear Muffs

$59.95 from Hibermate »

I love it when girls wear ear muffs. Especially big furry white ones. They give them that irresistible look of sophistication meets special needs kid. Ear muffs on guys, though? Eh. Not really acceptable. Maybe, maybe...

6 Million Digits of Pi Poster

$20.95 from ExaText Posters »

It's Pi Day! Happy 3.14.15. You'll be able to celebrate this momentous occasion only once in your lifetime, so I hope you have something good cooked up for tonight. I myself will be living it up with many different types...

Iridium Go Global Hotspot

A reliable satellite connection for voice and data communications anywhere in the world. 5,000 feet in the air. 500 miles offshore. Probably even in a box en route to Abu Dhabi, though that hasn't been confirmed as definite...

Vampliers Screw Pliers

$29.97 from Amazon »

One time I knew this girl who was a regular blood donor, and apparently if you're a regular blood donor the blood bank pesters you to donate even more blood, and so whenever they would call she'd look at her caller ID...

A Gronking to Remember

$7.19 from Amazon »

A Gronking to Remember, or as the late mayor of Boston, Tom Menino would call it, A Gonking to Remember is the first! in the Rob Gronkowski erotica series. E L James move over. And for that matter, Twain, Hemmingway...

Steampunk Flip-Top Watch Cuffs

$315 from Etsy »

Steampunk Design is not F'ing around with these watch cuffs. Custom-designed, custom-built, and hand-assembled, the flip-top timepieces are a sight to behold even if you're not a steampunk groupie. It's kind of like how...

Abashiri Blue Beer

$8.19 - $21.19 from Firebox.com »

One guess as to where Abashiri Blue Beer comes from. Hint: not Smurf Village, and not outer space. Which leaves only one other logical choice, right? Yep: Japan....

Chocolate Megalodon Shark Teeth

$15.99 from Fossilera »

Why eat a chocolate bunny for Easter this year when you can eat...all the chocolate bunnies on earth with a massive chocolate megalodon shark tooth? Muahahaha! These edible and...wait for it...toothsome replicas are molded...

Military-Style Crash Cot

$66.35 from Amazon »

A folding metal cot covered in heavy-duty polyester fabric. You wanna crash at my place, that's what you're getting. It's pretty comfortable though. Body-contouring. And at 77" x 25", with legs reinforced with steel pipe...

Shinbudo Bokken - Japanese Training Tools

$250 - $350 from Shinbudo Weapons »

Now these are kind of cool. They're bokken, traditional, usually katana-shaped training tools used in Japanese martial arts. Dennis King of Shinbudo Weapons makes all of them himself, by hand is his Corvallis shop. Corvallis...

The World's Strongest Coffee

$19.99 from Amazon »

Great. Something to make the guy in the cube next to me even more hyperactive and annoying. I wonder how fast he'll be able to recite all the state capitols after chugging 32 ounces of the world's strongest coffee. Death...

Airlight Screw-in Ceiling Fan

By: Quirky »

I was going to open my discussion of the Airlight screw-in ceiling fan/light with a lightbulb joke, but in searching for the perfect one to relay I stumbled upon something even better: an entire Website devoted to lightbulb...

Iron Man Power Band

$199.99 from ThinkGeek »

Robert Downey Jr. is almost as cool as Tony Stark, and the fact that RDJ is wearing the Iron Man Magtitan New Legend Power Bands while playing Tony Stark in the new Avengers movie, and the Power Bands ThinkGeek is selling...

Pot Minder Boil-Over Prevention Disc

$5.68 from Amazon »

Isn't half the fun of cooking making a ginormous mess? And then spending hours you could be eating your Beef & Fritos Enchiladas cleaning up the kitchen afterward? Hmmm...maybe not so much. One of the top culinary offenses...

Breaking Bad Meth Lab

Sold Out from Citizen Brick »

Would LEGO ever produce and release a Breaking Bad Meth Lab? Probably not even if its CEO and Board of Directors were all required to inadvertently step on an errant brick once an hour, every hour of the day, every day...

The Pantera Claw

$44 from Amazon »

I don't know if the Pantera Claw looks cooler than the Wolverine-esque claw we previously showed you--I should have had the forethought to consult on this topic with the bearded grandmaster modeling the latter version--but...

Wallet TrackR

$29 from Wallet TrackR »

Just wait 'til the next dirty thief who tries to jack my wallet finds out I've got the Wallet TrackR. And a Sap Cap. And an extensive history of kicking people in the shins. About the size of a credit card and connected...

Shittens

$22.91 from Amazon »

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand...or get some Shittens. Protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning...

High Altitude Training Mask

Sold Out from Amazon »

The high altitudes of Nepal, Machu Picchu, and Denver may naturally administer pulmonary resistance that conditions human lungs, and improves athletic endurance, but who wants to spend the time and money to travel there?...

SmartMio Wearable Muscle Stimulator

$89 - $199 from SmartMio »

Getting ripped while sitting on my ass. It's the stuff dreams are made of. And, fingers crossed into a length of 550 paracord, the stuff SmartMio will be made of. SmartMio is a wearable muscle stimulator and app-based...

The WaterMat

$699 from Amazon »

The 6' x 18' WaterMat is bigger than most rafts, more portable than most rafts, and won't suck so much air from your lungs during assembly that you start to feel lightheaded and then pass out and then fall off the side...

Bluetooth Audio Beanie

$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Rock out with your cock out cranium toasty and stylin' in this Bluetooth audio beanie from TRNDlabs. Did you know that up to 50% of body heat escapes through your head? And did you also know that your head is where your...

Poundtown Condom

In case there was any confusion, Poundtown Condom vendor Say It with a Condom specifies this particular latex shroud is for "anyone who's a Poundtown regular, or is coming for the first time." Haha, get it? There are...

SmartCharge Power Outage Light Bulbs

$34.95 from SmartCharge »

Electricity is one of those things we don't typically give much thought to until we don't have it. Or until we get struck by lightning. And while SmartCharge LED light bulbs will not un-fry your brain from the latter...

Glowing Plants

$50 - $150 from Glowing Plant »

After raising nearly half a million dollars on Kickstarter, the Glowing Plants project is accepting pre-orders and synthetic biology-ing away to deliver their natural sources of light in Fall 2014. Make no mistake, Glowing...

Tactical BBQ Apron

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

While I do not believe in buying other people gifts in honor of holidays for which they do not also have to buy me a gift, Father's Day is on the horizon, and this Tactical BBQ Apron could perhaps serve the dual purpose...

F**king Hell Beer

$25.59 - $42.59 from Firebox.com »

Any a-hole can name his beer F**king Hell and profit from the scandalous use of profanity, right? But how many of those a-holes can also stake legitimate and logical claims on the words' application?...

Hyperice - Recovery of the Future

$79.99 - $119.99 from Amazon »

When I feel a tinge of pain during my engagement in taxing pursuits of physical prowess, such as owning the squash court and attending Zumba classes, I calmly remove myself from the action--no matter how many feisty Latinas...

Lambda Ruby-Tipped Top

$65 from Kickstarter »

Jason Hui of Prometheus Lights is the first to point out that he makes tools, not toys. That he has created the Lambda Top, and is seeking funding for it on Kickstarter, is probably due solely to the fact that even men...

Ninja Garden Gnome

$30.49 from Firebox.com »

Gardenzilla taking out all of your lawn ornaments? Sounds like a job for [cue music] Ninja Gnome! The squirrels and my neighbor's cat Willard better watch out too. This assassin may be tiny...and made of, like, resin...but...

Panther Air Drone with HD Camera

The Panther Air Drone is a big boy. The Dumbo of quadcopters, if you will. But still graceful and easy to maneuver with its foam body, encased blades, and built-in gyro stabilization. A 4.5-channel radio control enables...

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Tokyoflash Watches

Giveaway: Tokyoflash Watches

Enter to win your choice of any watch from Tokyoflash (up to a $199 value!) You've seen Tokyoflash's ringed LED Tron Watch, the Kisai 7, on DudeIWantThat.com. And you've seen their safety-first (with sci-fi dotted light...

Legacy Power Wagon

$120k - $170k from Legacy Power Wagon »

The Legacy Power Wagon. As the name suggests, it isn't new, but with only a handful crafted per year--by artisan auto mechanics at Legacy Classic Trucks in Jackson Hole, Wyoming--it remains one of the truck world's most...

Laser Tripwire

$39.98 from Amazon »

If you just want people to keep the F out, get an Add-a-Lock. But if you want them to believe for a split second that they have successfully encroached your space, only to disrupt the blaze of an invisble light that in...

Ziesel Offroad Driving Chair

$30k from Der Ziesel »

Dude. I don't know. Maybe it's a sweet ride when you're in the driver's seat, but as an onlooker, all I see when I look at Der Ziesel's offroad monster chair is Grandpa making a breakaway. Grandpa barreling up the Alps....

Caged Animal Gorilla Costume

$144.95 from Amazon »

Its vendors describe this gorilla toting a human around in a cage as "the most incredible adult costume you've ever seen." And while the only way that statement could be even remotely true is if Kate Upton were wearing...

Solar Roadways

$5 - $10k from Solar Roadways »

Scott and Julie Brusaw, an electrical engineer and a counselor in private practice, have created a modular paving system of solar panels they envision using to replace entire cities' paved streets. Despite having glass...

Lucky Golden Poo

$18 - $45 from Shapeways »

While some feel pooing gold provides the rectal rush of a lifetime, others find its one-and-done nature too fleeting. It's in, 4 hours to 3 days later it's out, and then it's over. For those in this latter group of precious...

AirForce BlowGuns

Sold Out from Amazon »

Yeah, it shoots only foam darts and, yeah, it's only as powerful as your lungs, but AirForce BlowGuns still strongly, strongly recommends wearing eye protection while using what they call "one of the simplest yet most...

Gamebuino Arduino Game Console

$50 from Gamebuino »

Gamebuino. It's like Gameboy & Arduino's bambino. And it really is Aurelien Rodot's bambino. He came up with the idea for Gamebuino shortly after putting together a "quick and dirty" handheld console one weekend last...

Makes Itself Bedding

$125 - $195 from SmartBedding »

While Smart Bedding can't claim to be another OHEA self-making bed, it can boast of its analogous ingenuity at a fraction of the cost and complexity of the full-on mechanized version. Using a simple duvet-top sheet snap...

Jellyfish Hanging Lights

Discontinued

Oh sure, glowing rainbow jellyfish lights dangling from the ceiling are all well and good until someone runs into one and it gets entangled in his left arm, inflicting pain so indescribable he must literally beg his friend...

8lb Bag of Cereal Marshmallows

$59.99 from Amazon »

I must have stumbled upon the end of a rainbow because Jack. Pot. My days of spending 15 minutes crouched over my cereal bowl picking out all the boring healthy* brown bits from Lucky Charms are about to be as over as...

ZeroLemon Rugged 20,000 mAh Battery

$49.99 from ZeroLemon »

My elementary school gym teacher used to call me The Lemon. At first I thought it meant that I added a refreshing and flavorful twist to the kickball team I ended up on, but once I realized that team also received 2 handicap...

Lady Deadpool Cosplay Costume

$150 from Etsy »

Well this is a nice outfit. Even if it didn't reference the delightful Lady Deadpool, I think I would like to see my favorite barista wear it to make my morning masterpiece quadruple grande mocha with extra whipped cream...

ARAIG - Multi-Sensory VR Feedback Suit

Discontinued

Even in the virtual world, when it rains it pours. Not only is the ARAIG (As Real As It Gets) multi-sensory feedback suit the latest in a recent lineup of virtual gaming enhancement gear, but it has also joined VR immersive...

55-Gallon Barrel of Lube

$2,500 from Amazon »

The most disturbing thing about a 55-gallon barrel of lube is not so much that it's a flippin' 55-gallon barrel of lube, but that a 55-gallon barrel of lube costs over $2,000. I mean, I know people want to have this sort...

Leather Knife Rolls

$330 from Steve Goodson »

Bobby Flay uses one of Steven Goodson's custom, handmade leather knife rolls. And have you seen Bobby Flay's wife? Hot. Dude has good taste. Know who else has a knife roll? Chefs Judy Joo and Andrew Hales. Yeah, I've...

SteakStones

$106.47 - $152.13 from Steakstones »

SteakStones are really just a way for people who are lazy or lousy cooks to host a dinner party without going to too much trouble or F'ing everything up. That being said, SteakStones still look awesomely rad and radly...

Night Owl Night Vision Monocular

$158.73 from Amazon »

On the one hand I hate turning lights on when I have to take a leak in the middle of the night, but on the other hand my mama hates it when I miss the bowl. Or use the bathtub just to be safe. If you're like me, or if...

Benchmade Contego Folding Knife

$182.75 from Amazon »

"Contego" is Spanish for "protect" or "shield." Which is ironic since my first order of business, were I to own Bechmade's Contego Folding Knife, would be to use it to tear through others' supposed shields. Boxes from...

TiBolt Solid Titanium Bolt Action Pen

$115 - $125 from JumpStartCity »

The only not titanium components in Brian Fellhoelter's TiBolt bolt action pen are the the ink cartridge, spring, O-ring, and stylus nib. It's kind of like how the only not titanium components in my rock hard body are...