A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, March 7, 2013
$275 - $400 from Etsy »

I'm not the biggest Borderlands fan. The name alone carries enough of an allusion to Canada for me. Then once I see a Psycho with those penetrating indigo eyes and a mutilating buzz axe...shiver...it just conjures too many...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$55.79 from Firebox.com »

This year, the grubby little hands that touch Santa's cookies are getting a superlaser blast to the neck. Or at least that's the scare tactic this Death Star cookie jar will promote in parental attempts to limit cookie overconsumption...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

Is it too early to be talking about candy canes? Most likely. But I join the Targets and Macy's (Macy'ses?) of the world in shoving Christmas down your throat immediately after Halloween only because I care about you. I care about your opportunity to acquire a dozen candy canes laced with the sweet slow burn of sriracha before they disappear. Before all of the other masochists looking for 6" of...

Friday, August 19, 2011
$410 from Etsy »

I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...

Friday, August 26, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

The real question is... can you wear one of these out in public? These are sharp, flexible and the perfect finishing touch to a catwoman outfit. Or they'd be great for slicing up intruders that break in your apartment at night...

Monday, May 7, 2012

I hope anyone who has one of these nifty Interactive LED Tables also has a few gallons of disinfectant on hand, because the two primary modes of interaction I foresee with their pressure-sensitive, illuminative surfaces are 1) face and 2) ass to glass. Electronic maestros Evil Mad Science powwowed with design build studio Because We Can to create these striking pieces of home or office decor, doubly...

Monday, December 2, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

At first I was like, This is the ugliest ugly Christmas sweater I've ever seen. It is so ugly it's not even ironic, it's just ugly. Then my (newly single!) friend Cornelius reminded me it looks like Will Ferrell as Buddy the...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$5.50 from Amazon »

Oompa Loompas don't need brooms, they use Illoom Balloons to zoom o'er the moon....

Sunday, October 21, 2012
Discontinued

Looking like a bank robber or a rejected design for a Star Wars Stormtrooper has never been easier with Ai Riders on the Storm's hi-tech winter coats. Cutting onions in an igloo toasty and tear-free is now possible too! The...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$10.40 from Amazon »

One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, March 7, 2014
$2,799 from Etsy »

"Dare to adorn your suit with flowers and then laugh all summer!" I'm not sure what that piece of advice has to do with an abacus chair...or that listening to it won't get you beat up immediately...but it stands as Ieva Urboniene's...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed and ready...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$59.99 from Amazon »

According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy truffled...

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Longboard Stroller: the future of kids and mobility. The Longboard Stroller: because every kid deserves to eat pavement at the hands of a parent who didn't see the raised edge in the sidewalk. The Longboard Stroller: Naw...

Sunday, August 25, 2013
$49.99 from NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$34.95 from eartheasy »

Think Fast LifeStraw Go Promotion: In honor of their debut, LifeStraw Go water bottles will be available for 43% off their normal retail price through December 11, 2013 ($19.95 vs. $34.95). Follow the link to vendor eartheasy's...

Monday, February 10, 2014
$49.95 - $79.99 from Amazon »

Wear this Star Trek-inspired jersey while cycling and you'll be tele-biking to work to save gas instead of actual biking to work and possibly getting taken out by a car to save gas. Just kidding....

Monday, January 14, 2013
$40.25 from Amazon »

No, I'm afraid you can't borrow my pen, sir. I'm using it to record you cuddle monkeying around with that 24-year-old boob job who I'm pretty sure isn't your wife so that I can blackmail you for the approximate cost of a 2-week...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$80 - $150 from Etsy »

In stark contrast to how I feel about bellybuttons, if I got one of Shannon Conrad's interlocking LEGO rings, I would much rather have an outie than an innie....

Tuesday, April 10, 2012
$31.46 from Amazon »

The Drivemocion Rear Window LED Messenger is probably legal in only, like, 10 states (I'd guess the spectrally left and right ones, such as Massachusetts and Texas), but for those of you living amidst bureaucratic leniency...

Friday, November 18, 2011
$11.99 from Bacon Salt »

When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored...

Friday, July 12, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Learn a different kind of quackery...um, I mean brain skill, with the Telekinetic Enhancer, a lightweight aluminum flyer thing that sits on a prong and lolls about in clockwise or counterclockwise circles when touched by the...

Thursday, November 1, 2012
$65 from Brewmeister »

For Brewmeister's Armageddon, the number 65 almost inconceivably corresponds to two very important attributes of the beer: its price for a 330 ml bottle; and its alcohol content. Yep, $65 for 65% ABV. Brewer Lewis Shand explains...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
$65 from Etsy »

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...

Friday, January 10, 2014
$84.95 from Amazon »

The InaTrap Insect Killer won the 2012 Taiwan Excellence Award. I wonder if it was the sole champion. Like, if nothing else in the entirety of 2012 Taiwan was more excellent than a bug destroyer (with night light!) I hope...

Monday, February 13, 2012
$59.99 from SurfEasy »

Remember the good old days when a computer screen was a shield of privacy, a veil of mystery, an incognito way to surf raunchy websites and cyberstalk first loves? Well, SurfEasy is your USB-shaped DeLorean to the times of...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of craft...

Sunday, August 12, 2012
$54.45 from Amazon »

Great balls of...not fire at all, actually. The Boon GLO nightlight's removable glowing balls have no electrical components at all, so they alight without even getting warm, and won't break if dropped or tossed around during...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Despite their being shaped like big Os, I'm not sure about Big-O as a name for these stunt skates. I'm pretty sure if I were to try them, the words "Big O" would not be at the forefront of my mind. I'd call mine Big I Didn't...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Discontinued

One thing that sucks about using a crowbar to beat someone up in a dark alley is the dark alley part. How are you supposed to tell if it's really connecting with the intended's face and other vital organs, or just delivering...

Thursday, June 28, 2012
$13 from Amazon »

Red Bull creator Chaleo Yoovidhya died in March 2012, leaving behind an unparalleled energy drink phenomenon and industry. Not since Coca-Cola and YouTube spectacles involving numerous tabs of Alka Seltzer has a carbonated...

Monday, February 27, 2012

An organizational, poster-sized map of the music industry's 636 most prolific rappers: magnificent homage or elaborate slam? Divided into major categories and subcategories, such as Audacious Misspelling, Macks, Coolness...

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Alien prequel Prometheus doesn't hit theaters until June 1, 2012. So in the interim, let's take a trip down memory lane to the series' Alien vs. Predator installment. Are you there? OK, now throw in a motorcycle, a grip of...

Monday, February 25, 2013
By: FlyBoard

Similar to the Jetovater, but with a lower profile, the Flyboard is a kind of powered wakeboard that allows propulsion under water and in the air, rendering its user akin to a dolphin, human cannonball, or Grand Prize winner...

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$70.71 from Grand Illusions »

The trickery of prisms strikes again! Here two hunks of Dove plexiglass fit over a pair of glasses' eyepieces to invert all images the wearer sees. Reversing Goggles make for interesting school science experiments, as in the...

Friday, November 1, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Don't worry, these Radioactive Elements Glowing Coasters aren't really radioactive. They won't leach radiation into the icy cold beers they support. ... Or will they? Maybe that Thorium-232 won't just keep the rings off my...

Thursday, June 13, 2013
$14.08 from Grand Illusions »

Nitinol. It's kind of like Rain Main. Has an infallible memory and a habitual state to which it always returns precisely and without fail, but...it doesn't deal with deviations from what it knows very well. Also, it is an...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker, Catwoman...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$218.99 from Amazon »

Hmmm, does my desire not to wash dishes by hand supersede my desire to microwave Hot Pockets? It's not even a rhetorical question. Even though SPT's countertop dishwasher says it will fit beneath most kitchen cabinetry, it's...

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary...

Friday, May 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Mark Ecko is doing everything he can to make Star Wars a leading name in high fashion. I just wish the items were priced in accordance with the bank accounts of Star Wars fans rather than those of Star Wars actors and directors....

Thursday, September 19, 2013
$271.80 from Amazon »

This warplane ceiling fan reminds me that I hate ceiling fans. For two reasons. First, once they're on it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how many times I have to pull the GD cord to turn them off. Click. It's slowing, right?...

Friday, May 24, 2013
$69 - $129 from Etsy »

In addition to offering a bunch of sick shades, sunglasses maker Kevin of Neon Nightlife also offers some suggestions on how best to use his eye-catching glowing designs. These include:...

Monday, November 18, 2013
$31 - $66 from Sphyke »

Even if you're not an indignant, self-important cyclist with a $3,500 carbon fiber bike and a fat chip on your emaciated shoulder it really sucks when you lock up your manpowered transporter like a responsible citizen, only...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

For a while I thought electricity would be a passing fad like World of Warcraft and John Travolta (twice) but it seems only to be gaining popularity over time. Stealth's Bomber electric bike certainly makes a case for its...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$122.48 from Amazon »

While RockBoard's Descender doesn't appear to be a wheeled vehicle suitable for the protruding roots and rocky drops of mountain bike trails, if its video is to be believed, it will serve as a smooth operator for anyone who...

Wednesday, May 16, 2012
$13,795 from Ducati »

Ducati and Italian clothing designer (not gasoline classification) Diesel teamed up in 2011 to begin collaborations on a fashion-forward motorcycle. Just over a year later, the Monster Diesel marked its arrival, and Ducati...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$24.95 from DarkfinGloves.com »

Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing and even jumping...

Friday, November 9, 2012

On August 29, 2012, James Hoegh gunned and smoked his Confederate Motorcycles' X132 Hellcat Combat to an average top speed of 172.2 mph on northwestern Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats. It set a new land speed record for unfaired...

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$419 from Amazon »

The Makita 18V Cordless Autofeed Screwdriver powerfully delivers screw after screw with a 4-pole motor capable of 4,000 RPMs. It is ideal for decking and sub-floor applications. And also for quickly bolting The Big Coloring...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
$898.76 from Amazon »

Although Deglon is a French company, Meeting Knife Set just doesn't do this 4-count of nested slice-and-dicers the same justice of linguistic imagery Russian Doll Knife Set, or Venn Diagram Knife Set would. Not that I wouldn't...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$11.99 - $19.99 from Ember »

Not that we should be rewarded for irresponsibly drinking to excess such that we need preventative steps to hangovers, but...Ember kind of rewards us for irresponsibly drinking to excess by way of serving as a preventative...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.18 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions....

Saturday, January 4, 2014
$279 from Primo »

Primo is a tangible programming interface designed to teach children ages 4 to 7 basic programming logic without the need for literacy. No literacy? No reading? Pwah! Kids are just handed everything in life. On silver spoons...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$1,799.95 from Amazon »

The Mojo UFO is a Jetsons/Back to the Future II/Doctor Who/impenetrable shelter from the zombie virus outbreak sort of tent. Made of virtually indestructible space-age textile Cuben Fiber, the 2-person Mojo condenses to a...

Saturday, December 8, 2012
$19.99 from CritSuccess »

I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The glass-half-full perspective would admire and appreciate Charles Lushear's new collection of Batman tables as the tasteful approach to geekery that they are. The glass-half-empty perspective would hiss and gripe at DC Comics...

Sunday, September 30, 2012
Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Friday, January 11, 2013
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hurricane Irene, meet your match. The air form concrete dome is a hurricane survivor. Not only does the dome's round shape allow the water to flow around it, much as the ocean rushes around a light house, its weight, strength...

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Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$90.61 - $98.88 from Amazon »

When the tops come off, the fun begins! That's what they say about these bottle cap bar stools, but I don't see much about the statement that has anything to do with bottle cap bar stools. Obviously I like it as it relates...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012
$18 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black-and-solar-system-speckled...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The desire to own an OHEA Super Bed transcends mere laziness because, I'm sorry, I don't care what kind of draught horse you are, making the bed is an enormous pain in the ass. Think of all the people who trip over themselves...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$215 from Amazon »

Breville says it will do for pizza lovers what cooking meth does for ailing chemistry teachers: bring home the dough. The Crispy Crust Stone Baked Pizza Maker aims to deliver brick oven pie quality without the bricks. Probably...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$99 from Siva Cycle »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts to...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

It would be better if it were in the shape of the toast I'm going to pile it on, and I also doubt my ability to flip an egg within such tight confines without losing part of it to my burner, but I still appreciate the sentiment...