A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, January 7, 2014
$11.97 from Amazon »

As you can see, Super Sculpey sculpturing compound can sculpt some pretty super sculptures. The mutant dentist's nightmare in the photo above comes courtesy of Chris Maxwell via ConceptArt. Additionally, a simple online image...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Discontinued

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes them...

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$14.90 from Amazon »

It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a Handmaster, but I dig what this banded ball brand of Handmaster has to offer too. Strengthening both the gripping and the expanding muscles of the fingers and hand through regular use, the tool has been shown to ease and prevent afflictions such as tennis elbow, osteoarthritis, tendonitis, and repetitive stress injury....

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Saturday, June 7, 2014
$14.31 from Amazon »

Summer is here, the kids are out of school and home all day long.... Time to occupy them with DIY projects and sugar! Magic Choc's Chocolate Modeling Kit includes wads of pliable 100% Belgian white, milk, and dark chocolate...

Monday, December 30, 2013
Giveaway: DriDown Zissou 6 Sleeping Bag 89
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your 700-fill of feathers with a Sierra Designs DriDown Zissou 6 sleeping bag (a $340 value!)...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$79 from Cole-Bar »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

They call it a reverse Molotov cocktail, nomenclature I find very slick, and thereby reason enough to invest in a throwable fire extinguisher. Plus, although I'm normally more one to fan the flames, I also recognize that ladies...

Friday, July 29, 2011
$55.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Discontinued

Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$65 - $85 from Hoodsie »

The bad news: at printing, Hoodsie adult hooded onesies just completed a successful Kickstarter campaign, and are available only for pre-order. Delivery is not anticipated until April 2014, long after the most bone-chilling...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$180 from Etsy »

Imagine how much stuff you could cram inside a TARDIS backpack. A laptop, a tablet, and an entire XBox. Enough gear and clothing for a 2-week backpacking trip through Nepal. At least 4 cases of beer plus, like, 20 pounds of...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
$18.95 from Zazzle »

Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option...

Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$43.95 from Lubricheck »

I always thought my car required an oil change every 3,000 to 5,000 miles out of necessity, but according to Lubricheck, I shell out my precious duos of Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States and fellow Pisces...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$199.99 from Amazon »

Turn your dumbbell into an even worse implement of corporal torture: a kettlebell! The adjustable KettleClamp secures to any size/weight of dumbbell, expanding its functionality to include the Russians' favorite way to swing....

Monday, April 7, 2014
$49.69 from Firebox.com »

I hate to throw out a perfectly good dead mouse. It just seems like an anti-climactic payoff for the money I spend on traps and cheese. I'm glad to hear the people of London agree. According to Firebox, mouse taxidermy is...

Monday, August 26, 2013
$33 from Unikia »

Compleat's FoodSkin seems like a better idea than a Ziploc bag because your sandwich won't rip or fall apart as you stuff it inside or later try to yank it back out. And it seems like a better idea than saran wrap because...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$55 from D3 Protection »

Sap is an interesting word because it can connote both a sorry, pathetic loser and an object of grit and power that will F your S up. Here we will talk about the second version of sap because, in honor of summer's official...

Wednesday, May 7, 2014
$7 from Amazon »

I guess they couldn't decide whether people would prefer to skewer their corn with pirate or ninja swords, so they just made a set incorporating both. Alien vs. Predator-style. Pirate vs. Ninja--who would win that battle?...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.16 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$295 - $1,689 from Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float around...

Thursday, May 1, 2014
$49 - $69 from Grush »

A gaming toothbrush for kids? Do we really have to go to lengths of Grush proportions, pandering to our insolent children's every inclination, in order to get them to do what they should simply by virtue of our saying, Hey...

Monday, August 19, 2013
$328 from droog »

The perfect gift for anyone who never learned how to swim! Especially if you swap their standard bedding out with this set of lake sheets on the DL, and then make sure they don't head back to bed until they're too drunk to...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Technology Will Save Us. At least the company will. Their line of DIY technology will save us from idle hands, clumsy fingers, and thumbs up our butts. The latest, a DIY Gamer Kit, encourages the inquisitive first to build...

Sunday, September 22, 2013
$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
$10 - $30 from threadless »

I Park Like an Idiot stickers have two outstanding selling points. 1) Applying one to the bumper or window of a deserving vehicle will give its user an instant boost, likely eliminating the crankiness and ill-will evoked by...

Monday, August 22, 2011
$200 from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit an...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014
$55 from Etsy »

After their zombie gnomes ate most of the rest of the lawn ornaments, artists Chris Stever and Jane DeRosa had to go back to the casting board to create an installation that would return order to the front yard. Meet Ned Bark....

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
By: Nike

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair and never...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$399.95 from Amazon »

Bell hasn't been making helmets for quite as long as people have been smashing their heads open as a result of not wearing one, but 60 years is still a landmark achievement. The company released its first Bell Star helmet...

Thursday, February 27, 2014
$118.49 from Amazon »

Emson Electric's indoor pressure smoker sears, cooks, and cold smokes up to 4 pounds of food at a time. Rrraawwrr! Dinner for 1 is served! In up to 70% less time than it would be if infused with the savory breath of a hickory...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$125 - $179 from Amazon »

A less expensive alternative to the Crypteks USB Drive, the Apricorn Aegis Secure Key Flash Drive boasts military grade full-disk AES 256-bit CBC hardware encryption, further protected by a 7- to 15-digit PIN-activated alphanumeric...

Thursday, May 15, 2014
Discontinued

And the Minifig even looks exactly like Sigourney Weaver! OK, as much as I wanted the life-size Caterpillar Power Loader Dustin Kiska made, I find Ichiban Toys' LEGO version just as enticing and commendable in execution. Plus...

Friday, October 25, 2013
$599 - $999 from Rotimatic »

I'm still not even sure what the hell roti is. I thought Indian bread was either naan (mmmmm, chewy) or papadums (mmmmm, crunchy). What's this third formation of dough throwing a wrench into my narrow culinary view of Curry...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$8.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

Thursday, June 27, 2013
$19 - $45 from Calibur Prints »

Is it just me or does it seem weird to call an AK-47 a "classic" or "historical" firearm? I feel like those words should still just refer to guns like the single-shot pistol John Wilkes Booth used to assassinate Abraham Lincoln....

Saturday, September 7, 2013
$42.95 - $149.95 from Onnit »

On the list of things that would really suck: 1) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 72-pound kettlebell with an incensed gorilla face carved into it; 2) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 500-pound incensed...

Saturday, May 3, 2014
$24.66 from Amazon »

Boy do I love cheese. Even though sometimes it gives me gas so sulfurically heinous my mama asks if I'm running a pulp mill in my ass. I just feel like if the choice is pizza & pain or no pizza & a life of sadness, the gagging...

Sunday, July 14, 2013
Giveaway: KettlePizza - Backyard Wood-Fired Pizza 66
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

In collaboration with the grill masters at KettlePizza, we're firing up one KettlePizza Pro Kit--a nearly $300 value--for 1 lucky Dude reader. Enter using the quick and easy form below, and we'll draw a winner at random at...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Star Wars gets an entire series of transforming vaults revealing the histories and dogmas of its most famous characters, so it only makes sense that a legendary hero with an equally illustrious past--plus the actual ability...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$1,299 from Onewheel »

They say Onewheeling is like surfing the perfect wave or snowboarding on fresh powder, but without the requisite presence of an ocean or mountain. Hmmm. I wonder if the presence of oceans and mountains has been what caused...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014
$5.99 - $17.99 from Etsy »

To all the girls compiling notes on what kind of cookies to bake me for Valentine's Day, let me make this easy: iced sugar or gingerbread even though it's not Christmas anymore in the shape of one of the following Cookie Prints:...

Friday, April 25, 2014
$24.95 from Amazon »

Since it's difficult for me even to pour a bowl of cereal without making a mess I'm not sure how much of a difference in cleanliness Clongs will make in my life, but I do appreciate their intent and nifty V-dip. And with grilling...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$886 - $1,271 from Jolan van der Wiel »

Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel not only created these Fraggle-Rock-meets-Super-Mario-Brothers-meets-Gotham-City hybrids, he also created the simple wood-framed machine used to forge them. Summoning the forces of gravity...

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Wednesday, May 28, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Maybe with Spiegelau's craft beer glass tasting kit downing 4 beers at 11 a.m. won't make me a drunk so much as it will make me a tasting experiment participant. At least the first few times someone walks into the break room...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$37.95 from Amazon »

After I gave a rundown of this ultralight, and ultra-cheap, canister camp stove, I received a message from a reader about how I should have focused more on the ultra-cheap part. My understanding now is that it is a knockoff...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Monday, September 16, 2013
By: Behance

Impressively, Russian industrial designer Ekaterina Dekhtyarenko went from creating a stylized egg holder to conceptualizing and rendering a complete manned vehicle of flight (OK, she did do a hang-glider along the way as...

Tuesday, April 1, 2014
$55.85 - $79.81 from Etsy »

This is possibly the only lawn ornament that could increase both your property value and your popularity with the neighbors. Brit Martin Pool creates his hippopotamus garden sculptures in Daddy and Jr. sizes, and has designed...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014
$2.55 from Amazon »

I don't really like smug car decals like this because I think anyone who needs to be sorry for driving sooo close in front of me should be plucked from the road and tossed into a tar pit by the hand of God. However, I accept...

Monday, June 25, 2012
Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online...

Saturday, April 19, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Why yes, House Lannister, you can hold my Bud Light Lime, collecting its condensation and dribblings in the shallow basin of your golden lion wax seal. House Targaryen though, I'd prefer you hold my head, collecting its drool...

Friday, March 7, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Yes ma'am, my necktie is made of solid wood. And it just so happens it's pointing to something else that is made of solid wood, if you know what I mean. So why don't we--wait! Don't flip your hair and walk off in a huff! I...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$41.11 from Amazon »

Pop-up books are ageless. Genderless, raceless, and religious and political persuasionless too. In fact, I think the only people on earth who might possibly not like pop-up books are the blind. And maybe the sighted who have...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$89 from Puzzlebox »

The power of the human mind. It inspires nothing less than awe and reverence. Even the minds of idiots, which often serve either as entertainment or pleasurable, self-elevating disbelief that someone could be dumb enough to...

Monday, October 21, 2013
By: TACTILU

I'm not sure technology will ever truly succeed in delivering remote hugs, kisses from across the world, and sweet caresses to the face and wiener, but it's sure as shucks gonna keep trying. One of several tech-savvy firms...

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$399 from GSelect »

My 5th grade teacher often asked me if my head was filled with concrete, and at the time I got the sense it was an insult, but now that I see the beatific masterpiece that is 22 Design Studio's 4th Dimension Concrete Wrist...

Friday, June 29, 2012
$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both traditional...

Monday, February 20, 2012
Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from every...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$161.09 - $241.59 from Firebox.com »

Do you see what it says on one of the drams in the Gin Advent Calendar?! Professor Cornelius! Professor Cornelius Impleforth! I can't stop laughing! Partly due to the thought of my friend Cornelius being a professor, and partly...

Monday, September 16, 2013
$16.42 from Amazon »

Every time you masturbate, God chokes a kitten. I don't know if that bit of wisdom can be found in this Chinese to-go container of of X-Rated Fortune Cookies, but it should be a staple. Get your hands out of your pants and...

Sunday, April 20, 2014
$2,500 from Stewart Golf »

Sweet, a caddy you don't have to tip or worry about getting caught violating child labor laws while carrying your clubs for 9 hours straight in 95-degree weather. British company Stewart Golf has released the X9 Follow, their...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Nom, nom, nom. It's Hasenpfeffer meets the next-generation three wolf moon shirt. Your days of gnawing on leathery old rabbit parts that taste like a combination of barnyard and the positive ends of AA batteries are over....