A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Monday, October 27, 2014
$13.95 from Amazon »

Oreos and Twinkies topped with bacon and then dipped in chocolate. This is what I would call the Trick-or-Treating Mother Lode. At least before wackjobs started putting needles and poison into their homemade treats for the...

Monday, March 3, 2014
$39.95 from Amazon »

Buzzy helps relieve the pain of shots, lab draws, bee stings, burns, burning medicines, Band-Aid rip-offs, and tattoos. Tattoos? Really? I mean, I can get behind a vibrating ice pack fashioned in the likeness of a bumblebee...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012
$9.97 from Amazon »

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind of rectal projectile experience whose remediation cannot be achieved with standard 2-plys. Not with that snuggly bear cub Charmin shit, and definitely not with the translucent...

Monday, May 5, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a different take on the Bat-Signal. In the sense that the person flashing it is definitely not the person who needs help. A hand-crafted self defense and EDC tool, the bat slips over fired-up knuckles and thwarts (or...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$12.99 from Amazon »

People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my beverages....

Sunday, August 3, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

Home automation, cameras that let you play with your dog while you're at work, smartphone-controlled burglar alarms...I just want something simple. Something Kevin McCallister would have put to good use in Home Alone. A FakeTV to trick the bad guys into thinking I haven't left for trivia night at The Dungeon of the Dragon at all. Nope. Just chillin' on the couch in the living room, catching up...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$16.99 from Amazon »

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand...or get some Shittens. Protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for...

Monday, December 8, 2014

While it's somewhat depressing that the most action I get anymore is with a camera, at least the ones like Liquid Image's EGO are low maintenance, always up for adventure, and outfitted with a, ahem, versatile array of mounting...

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$59.95 from Hibermate »

I love it when girls wear ear muffs. Especially big furry white ones. They give them that irresistible look of sophistication meets special needs kid. Ear muffs on guys, though? Eh. Not really acceptable. Maybe, maybe we can...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$48 from SILIC »

Hydrophobic. Seems like it would mean afraid of water, doesn't it? Well it does. But in this case, the hydrophobia is a good thing, not a buzzkill like it is when someone invites me and my friend Cornelius to go windsurfing...

Thursday, May 1, 2014

My friends Constantine and Kristof always talk about making a Shazam app for plants. What flower is that? Shazam for Plants it. Can I eat that? Shazam for Plants it. Will that get me high? Sha- no. SCiO it....

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

While I do not believe in buying other people gifts in honor of holidays for which they do not also have to buy me a gift, Father's Day is on the horizon, and this Tactical BBQ Apron could perhaps serve the dual purpose of...

Monday, July 28, 2014
$64.90 - $79.90 from Twistex Bed Sheets »

A natural pairing given that naked is both the best way to sleep and the best way to play Twister. Aussie company Twistex Bed Sheets ships this set of Twister bedding worldwide in Double, Queen, and King sizes. Included in...

Saturday, February 9, 2013
$29 from Wallet TrackR »

Just wait 'til the next dirty thief who tries to jack my wallet finds out I've got the Wallet TrackR. And a Sap Cap. And an extensive history of kicking people in the shins. About the size of a credit card and connected via...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$849 from Amazon »

The 6' x 18' WaterMat is bigger than most rafts, more portable than most rafts, and won't suck so much air from your lungs during assembly that you start to feel lightheaded and then pass out and then fall off the side of...

Sunday, May 6, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

He is the first Avenger. An unparalleled patriot whose loyalty, stealth, and shredded abs have kept America safe from the likes of Doctor Faustus, Viper, and HYDRA since 1941. And now, motorcycle-riding superhero devotees...

Sunday, November 30, 2014
$87.99 from Amazon »

Soothe sore muscles, melt away tension, and (ladies) enjoy some alone time with red wine and powerful jets. Conair's Dual Jet Bath Spa fancifies any bathtub into an underwater den of relaxation and personal gratification....

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I'm afraid online ordering options for the cyborg flesh treatment have yet to make it to Amazon. In fact, should you want an anatomical anomaly tattoo so whiplash-inducingly realistic and infatuating it gets mistaken for professionally...

Saturday, December 7, 2013
$14 - $28 from Wipebook »

Wipebook poses the question, "You know how creative people use whiteboards to generate cool amazing ideas?" And I ask the question, "You know how creative people with cool amazing ideas who can't draw, or even really form...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$106.47 - $152.13 from Steakstones »

SteakStones are really just a way for people who are lazy or lousy cooks to host a dinner party without going to too much trouble or F'ing everything up. That being said, SteakStones still look awesomely rad and radly awesome...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

I'm trying to think of a way to spin the Chemist's Spice Rack into something besides the perfect gift for a complete culinary geek, but...donut hole. Then again, as evidenced by the comments on ThinkGeek's listing of the kitchen...

Tuesday, January 6, 2015
$3,999 from ProForm »

Training for the Boston Marathon? Or any marathon? Want to replicate an especially rigorous and badass hike you took on your vacation through the Dolmites? The iFit-enabled, Google Maps-charged Boston Marathon 4.0 treadmill...

Sunday, October 13, 2013
$299 from That's My Face »

Your face. Your buddy's face. Your mom's face. Angelina Jolie's face. ThatsMyFace.com can make any of them for your creeptastic wearing pleasure. They can also make them for your creeptastic wall-mounting or refrigerator-magneting...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

In case there was any confusion, Poundtown Condom vendor Say It with a Condom specifies this particular latex shroud is for "anyone who's a Poundtown regular, or is coming for the first time." Haha, get it? There are, like...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014
$42.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

BACtrack would like to help us stop driving drunk. And dialing drunk. And texting drunk. And--hello, new kid on the block--Tindering drunk. I know. We're supposed to know better than to do these things on our own. And normally...

Sunday, June 9, 2013
Discontinued

Even in the virtual world, when it rains it pours. Not only is the ARAIG (As Real As It Gets) multi-sensory feedback suit the latest in a recent lineup of virtual gaming enhancement gear, but it has also joined VR immersive...

Sunday, January 20, 2013
$79.99 - $119.99 from Amazon »

When I feel a tinge of pain during my engagement in taxing pursuits of physical prowess, such as owning the squash court and attending Zumba classes, I calmly remove myself from the action--no matter how many feisty Latinas...

Friday, December 12, 2014
$64.99 from Amazon »

Buying a specialized electronic neck massager is way cheaper than buying a whole electronic massage chair. And although I am sometimes tempted to tell my mama to go right ahead when she threatens to wring my neck just to see...

Friday, May 18, 2012
$199.99 from ThinkGeek »

Robert Downey Jr. is almost as cool as Tony Stark, and the fact that RDJ is wearing the Iron Man Magtitan New Legend Power Bands while playing Tony Stark in the new Avengers movie, and the Power Bands ThinkGeek is selling...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I think metal is OK, and I think liquid is OK, but for some reason if you put them together, "OK" turns into SO FUCKING RAD. (Huh. I just realized I feel similarly about vodka and this girl Karin I know). And when it comes...

Sunday, October 19, 2014
Sold Out from Etsy »

How do I plan to make it through the winter? Bohemian Alp Designs' Lord of the Rings One Ring firepit, many gallons of hot cider & whiskey, and a recording of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" warped to sound like Gollum is singing...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

NOOKA's Justice League Zub Zirc watches look almost like implements the superheroes they represent would wear themselves. Well, Superman would anyway. That narcissistic, self-promoting bastard. He's like...like...the Kanye...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$2,499 - $3,499 from GNR 8 »

Whoa. That chick just sat in a painting. Can we do that now? How about comics? Is it going to be like Cool World soon? Tokyo-based design studio YOY developed this series of wicked optical illusions whose true nature is as...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$78.73 from Amazon »

I can't decide which I'd use my genie wish for: Klymit's Inertia XL superlight ergonomic camping mattress, which almost looks like it could double as part of an intricately carved mummy tomb, or the beard of the dude demonstrating...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$1,500 - $2k from LiveMap »

Though specifically in development for use on a motorcycle, I'd probably wear the LiveMap helmet while driving and walking as well. Its built-in navigation system and voice-controlled interface allow those rolling 'round the...

Thursday, May 29, 2014
$614.33 from Amazon »

Not only is M-SPA's inflatable Silver Cloud Bubble Spa (uh, I think they'd sell more just calling it a bow-up hot tub) significantly less expensive than a permanent installation, but according to Amazon reviewers, you can...

Monday, January 13, 2014
Giveaway: BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammer 176
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: Amazon

Enter to win your very own demo-god, a Wilton BASH unbreakable sledge hammer! We're giving away the biggest of the big boys, a 36" hammer with a heavy-duty 46 HRC, 20lb head (a $220 value)!...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$32.89 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

Sunday, October 26, 2014
$175.50 from Natalie Luder »

100% silk Crepe de Chine for the fingers, 100% thin-sliced Mangalitsa pork belly for the eyes. Natalie Luder's Fou Lard is a bacon scarf through and through. "Foulard" is the French word for "silk scarf" and "fou" alone the...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
$44.99 from Perpetual Kid »

It's no Saddleback Leather Classic in appearance, and I'm sure it doesn't come with a 100-year warranty, but the Beer Briefcase can still serve a purpose, and play a notable supporting role in a man's life. It can replace...

Friday, July 27, 2012
$19.99 from Amazon »

Great. Something to make the guy in the cube next to me even more hyperactive and annoying. I wonder how fast he'll be able to recite all the state capitols after chugging 32 ounces of the world's strongest coffee. Death Wish...

Sunday, August 18, 2013
$33.67 from Amazon »

If you just want people to keep the F out, get an Add-a-Lock. But if you want them to believe for a split second that they have successfully encroached your space, only to disrupt the blaze of an invisble light that in turn...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
$22.99 from Amazon »

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would like...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$115 - $125 from JumpStartCity »

The only not titanium components in Brian Fellhoelter's TiBolt bolt action pen are the the ink cartridge, spring, O-ring, and stylus nib. It's kind of like how the only not titanium components in my rock hard body are my blood...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014
$149.99 from Guitdoorbell »

The Guitdoorbell replaces irritating bing-bong! door chimes and refrains of "It's a small world" with the rich, resonant strum of a real acoustic guitar. Mounted face-down over a doorway in tandem with an underlying plectrum...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$199 from NinjaBlocks »

The only thing I know about Hackers is that Angelina Jolie makes a hot one, but according to Ninja Blocks, that's enough to qualify me for the job. Of a hacker, not Angelina Jolie. Though I could probably pull off the latter...

Friday, April 18, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

What? R2-D2 measuring cups?! Dude. If R2-D2 can make me some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies in honor of the fact that I want some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, my whiny ex-girlfriend will officially be correct...

Sunday, August 17, 2014
$88 - $99 from Tricera Hi-Tops »

Archaix Laboratories makes a big claim. According to the Brooklyn-based company, they have "finally found a solution to the problem that has plagued modern society: the lack of wearable dinosaurs." And appropriately, their...

Tuesday, October 28, 2014
$193.19 from Firebox.com »

What I want to know is can this 1:1 screen-accurate replica of the phaser Captain James T. Kirk wielded in the 2660s beam me some free HBO and Pay Per View movies of a certain, uh, adult variety? Nyet? Well, can it at least...

Thursday, November 13, 2014
$184.99 from Amazon »

Getting a Journey Gym isn't quite as good as getting a briefcase full of unmarked hundred dollar bills, but it's better than getting a briefcase full of performance data you have to enter by hand into an Excel spreadsheet....

Tuesday, June 17, 2014
$45k - $545k from CultureNordic »

Have you always dreamt of owning your own authentic Viking ship, built by craftsmen in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde? Well I hadn't really given it much thought before, purveyor of fine Scandinavian gifts CultureNordic...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$907 from Amazon »

What makes a duffel bag a beast? Bigness. Ruggedness. Resilience. What makes a duffel bag The Beast? According to Saddleback Leather, all of the above, plus a 100-year warranty (yes, that's one hundred), a mere 3 seams binding...

Saturday, February 11, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

The high altitudes of Nepal, Machu Picchu, and Denver may naturally administer pulmonary resistance that conditions human lungs, and improves athletic endurance, but who wants to spend the time and money to travel there? More...

Thursday, September 25, 2014
$45.88 from Amazon »

A scorpion in appearance, a fantasy knife in name, a DEATH STALKER in action. BladesUSA has your cosplay night, your Halloween costume, and your one-man S&M show covered....

Friday, October 24, 2014
$235 from Bluesmart »

What we have on our hands could be the Coolest Cooler of the travel industry. Bluesmart is a hard-shelled carry-on bag with Bluetooth connectivity that will enable you toting trip goers to do things like lock and unlock the...

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$429 from Virtuix »

Full-body immersion into the world of virtual reality gaming, with a side of actual reality exercise. The Omni isn't the first VR treadmill we've seen (check out the WizDish) but it appears to be the most sophisticated, nicest...

Monday, November 17, 2014
$29.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Some N-E-S for your A-P-Ps. The NES30 is a Bluetooth controller fashioned in the likeness of the greatest and most iconic controller in history. Well, maybe tied with the Pac-Man arcade joystick. Cord-free and liberated from...

Friday, March 28, 2014

Like most great ideas, Robbie Rane came up with his Toilet Sarlacc decals while hanging out with friends, having a few beers, and talking shit. One guy mentioned dropping the kids off at the pool. Another spoke of ending the...

Friday, June 6, 2014

In an attempt to address the issues of saving money, supporting green, running late, and being bored, Hey Joe has developed a travel mug that brews its own coffee. It's a self-contained purveyor of caffeine that hopes to eliminate:...

Monday, September 22, 2014

Funny how a mere 90-degree turn can transform this wearable Japanese futon from a reasonably comfortable night's sleep into an awkward, stifling onesie that probably goes swish, swish between your thighs with every step. Though...

Saturday, July 5, 2014
$24.99 from Amazon »

This Rolled Omelet Pan could be an alternative to the Bubble Waffle pan for the gluten intolerant. Or an accompaniment to the Bubble Waffle pan for the culinarily adventurous who also could have beaten Joey Chestnut in Nathan's...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$5,200 - $6,500 from Timbersled »

Timbersled does for dirt bikes what Track N Go does for trucks. Except I think Timbersled's intent is less to enable safe passage, work, and rescue operations during inclement weather than to enable sick motocross races and...

Sunday, September 7, 2014
$77 - $85 from Kickstarter »

The Tatooine Sand Watch isn't just a wristwatch made with actual sand (a feat in and of itself), it's a wristwatch made with actual Tatooine sand. Collected directly from the desert planet's own grounds. Also known as the...

Monday, December 16, 2013
Giveaway: PlayStation 4 137
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Who wants to wait to get their hands on the elusive, highly-coveted Sony PlayStation 4? No one! Who's going to have to wait to get their hands on the elusive, highly-coveted Sony PlayStation 4? Most everyone! Except you. You...

Tuesday, July 8, 2014
$14.99 from Amazon »

Thug Kitchen, in the piped icing vein of What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner, has parlayed a recipe blog and the gratuitous use of profanity into a cookbook. And although I'm pretty sure noting Thug Kitchen on the Web is...

Thursday, October 16, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Landon Meier's Baby Head Masks have become our creepiest, and possibly most popular costume post ever. But for those unwilling to pay the $350 piper for one, or those not quite mean enough to make the rest of the Halloween...

Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

If I yank my headphones out of my ears one more time while doing burpees...or gesturing wildly at a car that doesn't heed the pedestrian right of way at a crosswalk...I'm going to Rumpelstiltskin them to smithereens!...