A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Monday, January 28, 2013
$385 from Boone Rings »

The next generation of bottle opener rings settles into a titanium home. With roommates. Designer Bruce Boone has thrown ultra-sharp twins Straight Blade and Serrated Blade, wily bad boy, Saw, and ...yahtzee!...the dapper...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012
$125 from Rogue Fitness »

SISU! is the Finnish word for stubborn determination, and an appropriate moniker for a 28-pound War Hammer that has a predominantly fitness-based application, but could also wallop the ever loving Fuck You out of the Delorean...

Monday, May 20, 2013
$185 from Glass Sculpture »

Yikes, $185 for the TARDIS fridge skin kit. But it's customized to fit your specific cooler's make and model, so at least you know it will look as sick in your own kitchen as it does in the one in the photo. And if any purchase is guaranteed to withstand the test of time, wouldn't it be one of a TARDIS? I bet these adhesive attachments will still be flying mighty in the year 4789! They may even...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Giveaway: Griz Coats 51
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
By: Griz Coat

Our contribution to your Halloween bedecking comes courtesy of yard upon yard of faux fur, wads of foam finessed into the heads of beasts, and the very generous ursine and lupine outerwear enthusiasts at Griz Coat. Enter to...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
Discontinued

On the one hand, we look at people like Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp and envy their posh celebrity lives. But on the other, we look at the Who Tall Are You? Mirror and wonder how the H-E double hockey sticks they get so much...

Monday, April 8, 2013

Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen used to be the best scent on the planet but then they changed the formula and now it just smells like all other sickly sweet girl things that are acceptable only because they are attached to girls. So naturally when I saw the CoCoPen, my first thought was Ooh, maybe it smells like the old Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen. But nope. It doesn't. The pen is unscented. Its name stems...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

I've slept on my sofa for the past 2-1/2 years. I've even slept in my sleeping bag on my sofa. But until now the two were not a happy combination, as the outsides of sleeping bags are slippery, and the heights of sofas are...

Bar
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
$39.92 from Amazon »

Maybe with Spiegelau's craft beer glass tasting kit downing 4 beers at 11 a.m. won't make me a drunk so much as it will make me a tasting experiment participant. At least the first few times someone walks into the break room...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011
By: Flickr

If you can't afford the $55k price tag on the real TRON Light Cycle there's always this. And it's not a bad consolation prize. Are LEGOS the hippest toy around or what?...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
$325 from Etsy »

What's better than an inked Felicia Hardy prancing around, getting limber on your pages of The Amazing Spider-Man as the Black Cat? A real live girl (or boy--we aim to please all orientations) prancing around, getting limber...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, October 25, 2013
$10.59 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea, a military-grade...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$9.54 from Amazon »

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense tool....

Monday, November 4, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

So what you're saying is that this simple stamp could be the solution to ridding myself of the 8' piles of credit card offers and guaranteed ways to pay off my student loads in 6 months and weird notices about taxes or something...

Friday, June 14, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Wait. Aren't praying mantises hot, yet evil, women who devour men like Xander Harris in that one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? And does that mean you're telling me I can purchase and hatch between 50 and 200 women out...

Saturday, February 1, 2014
$1,064 from Amazon »

Oh the satisfaction I would feel crushing ex-hard drives beneath the drill bit fist of Secured Engineered Machinery's Sledgehammer. It would be almost as gratifying as cruising by an ex-girlfriend who dumped me stranded with...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$35k from Prima Cinema »

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who did...

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$1,260 - $1,500 from Scan Computers »

Since the BBC officially licensed the TARDIS PC, Scan Computers was able to build it exactly to scale from the original prop schematics, match the interdimensional police box's precise Pantone color, and load its hard drive...

Monday, February 24, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

I don't know. Usually if I can't clean something because it's too narrow...or otherwise difficult to de-soil in any way whatsoever...I just throw it away and get a new one. Yeah right, you say? Well...yeah, you are right....

Thursday, May 1, 2014
$49 - $69 from Grush »

A gaming toothbrush for kids? Do we really have to go to lengths of Grush proportions, pandering to our insolent children's every inclination, in order to get them to do what they should simply by virtue of our saying, Hey...

Saturday, February 1, 2014
$99.95 from Amazon »

I saw some compact devices similar to PowerAll's portable car jump starter & power bank that claim to juice up a car battery from the comfort of my driver's seat. Just plug one in to the cigarette lighter, chill for 20 minutes...

Thursday, May 15, 2014
Discontinued

And the Minifig even looks exactly like Sigourney Weaver! OK, as much as I wanted the life-size Caterpillar Power Loader Dustin Kiska made, I find Ichiban Toys' LEGO version just as enticing and commendable in execution. Plus...

Sunday, December 8, 2013
By: UV Vodka

Hello there, ma'am. Fine evening we're having, wouldn't you say? What's that in my hand you ask? Here, have a closer look....

Wednesday, July 11, 2012
$599 from Aquarius PC »

Suck it, fishes! Thanks to AquariusPC, computers no longer have to gaze covetously at aquatic life, seething in envy over the cool, bubbly, pebble-smattered digs they thought they could never own. The Italian company has devised...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$16.99 from Amazon »

Now that Twinkies have returned to market, a homemade Twinkie maker might not classify as the same magnitude of necessity that it did for about 8 months there. But, still, it's kind of a necessity. You never know when Hostess...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$4.90 from Amazon »

It looks like the powers that be, in a clandestine effort to identify all of the easily manipulated minds in the country, have incorporated a shell company to produce a bracelet which claims that just by wearing it, your body...

Friday, May 17, 2013
$6.08 from Amazon »

I don't think that's how you spell "wiener" or "cleaner", but I'm willing to overlook the mistake on account of the fact that my penis has been bugging me for its own soap ever since it got the wrong end of a bar I used to...

Friday, September 7, 2012

If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either way...

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Viking Hammock is one of many pieces of furniture Norse gods and warriors use to bed their wenches. They manage pretty well with it because the Scandinavians are a seafaring people and therefore not prone to motion sickness....

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$199.99 from Amazon »

Turn your dumbbell into an even worse implement of corporal torture: a kettlebell! The adjustable KettleClamp secures to any size/weight of dumbbell, expanding its functionality to include the Russians' favorite way to swing....

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies. Thankfully...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$60.31 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving as...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$79 from SparqEE »

Getting up off the couch to go make a cell phone sounds even rougher than getting up off the couch to go make a sandwich. But if you're up for either, good on you. I recommend pastrami and swiss on rye for the sandwich, and...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$180 from Etsy »

Imagine how much stuff you could cram inside a TARDIS backpack. A laptop, a tablet, and an entire XBox. Enough gear and clothing for a 2-week backpacking trip through Nepal. At least 4 cases of beer plus, like, 20 pounds of...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$37.95 from Amazon »

After I gave a rundown of this ultralight, and ultra-cheap, canister camp stove, I received a message from a reader about how I should have focused more on the ultra-cheap part. My understanding now is that it is a knockoff...

Sunday, December 30, 2012
$1,371.94 from Amazon »

F light, low-profile, and practical. I live in the USA. I want the biggest and the best. Even if the biggest and the best means so cumbersome and heavy it makes me look like I have a gimp leg when I carry it in my pants pocket....

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$15.79 from Amazon »

It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a Handmaster, but I dig what this banded ball brand of Handmaster has to offer too. Strengthening both the gripping and the expanding muscles of the fingers and hand...

Thursday, December 19, 2013
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

You know what they say: when the balls are knockin', Newton's cradle must be rockin'. Fine. They don't say that. But maybe they will once these Newton's cradles with color-changing LED balls take the kinetic sculpture world...

Monday, October 21, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Stink Yourself Slim is not a joke. It's not a gag gift or an Instructables project some dude made at home to give to the lardass who hogs all of the chocolate long johns when someone brings donuts to work. Yeah, I know. It...

Friday, March 22, 2013
$258 - $403 from Amazon »

Extreme sport leg extensions. I'll say. Maybe you could strap on a pair of Poweriser stilts and bound around like a bunny rabbit, leaping up to 6-1/2' in the air, taking 16' giant steps, and running 100m sprints without breaking...

Saturday, May 3, 2014
$24.95 from Amazon »

Boy do I love cheese. Even though sometimes it gives me gas so sulfurically heinous my mama asks if I'm running a pulp mill in my ass. I just feel like if the choice is pizza & pain or no pizza & a life of sadness, the gagging...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014
$10.91 from Amazon »

As you can see, Super Sculpey sculpturing compound can sculpt some pretty super sculptures. The mutant dentist's nightmare in the photo above comes courtesy of Chris Maxwell via ConceptArt. Additionally, a simple online image...

Monday, April 7, 2014
$49.69 from Firebox.com »

I hate to throw out a perfectly good dead mouse. It just seems like an anti-climactic payoff for the money I spend on traps and cheese. I'm glad to hear the people of London agree. According to Firebox, mouse taxidermy is...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag...

Monday, December 30, 2013
Giveaway: DriDown Zissou 6 Sleeping Bag 89
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your 700-fill of feathers with a Sierra Designs DriDown Zissou 6 sleeping bag (a $340 value!)...

Thursday, November 1, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

The most endearing part about the Kuwaete Sukkiri Tongue Exerciser marketing campaign is that it claims the silicone (and grapefruit scented!) apparatus is intended to "help improve your face line and those flabby, sagging...

Friday, April 25, 2014
$24.95 from Amazon »

Since it's difficult for me even to pour a bowl of cereal without making a mess I'm not sure how much of a difference in cleanliness Clongs will make in my life, but I do appreciate their intent and nifty V-dip. And with grilling...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement...

Monday, April 16, 2012
$11,882 from Firebox.com »

Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic, this...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$65 - $85 from Hoodsie »

The bad news: at printing, Hoodsie adult hooded onesies just completed a successful Kickstarter campaign, and are available only for pre-order. Delivery is not anticipated until April 2014, long after the most bone-chilling...

Thursday, May 22, 2014
$99.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get BACtrack Mobile, a smartphone-attached breathalyzer and app, as it blows through Dude Exclusives at 33% off retail value. The sale ends when the clocks ticks from 11:59 p.m. ET to midnight on Thursday, May 22, 2014. Also...

Saturday, November 17, 2012
$9.82 - $23.95 from Amazon »

Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair of...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$27.78 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mom), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A great way to settle arguments between siblings, the MMA throwdown bed gives parents the option to let their children battle to the death before night night time. No biting or hair pulling please....

Tuesday, March 25, 2014
$55 from Etsy »

After their zombie gnomes ate most of the rest of the lawn ornaments, artists Chris Stever and Jane DeRosa had to go back to the casting board to create an installation that would return order to the front yard. Meet Ned Bark....

Friday, October 19, 2012

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...

Sunday, April 28, 2013
Discontinued

At first I was like, "Huh. Star Wars auction paddles and rhythmic gymnastics ribbons. Ummm...neat?" But then I looked up what BDSM is* and suddenly the gallery of items before me got a lot more interesting. GeekKink's Star...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

They call it a reverse Molotov cocktail, nomenclature I find very slick, and thereby reason enough to invest in a throwable fire extinguisher. Plus, although I'm normally more one to fan the flames, I also recognize that ladies...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$116 - $158 from Crocosaurus Cove »

I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$79 from Cole-Bar »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
$99 from Yellow Jacket »

In an act of retaliation against its relegation to the uncomfortably jarring vibrate setting, the iPhone has summoned the Yellow Jacket, and plans to return the favor. In the form of a body-rocking 650,000 volts. The Yellow...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$399.95 from Amazon »

Bell hasn't been making helmets for quite as long as people have been smashing their heads open as a result of not wearing one, but 60 years is still a landmark achievement. The company released its first Bell Star helmet...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$39 from Amazon »

Pop-up books are ageless. Genderless, raceless, and religious and political persuasionless too. In fact, I think the only people on earth who might possibly not like pop-up books are the blind. And maybe the sighted who have...

Saturday, April 19, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Why yes, House Lannister, you can hold my Bud Light Lime, collecting its condensation and dribblings in the shallow basin of your golden lion wax seal. House Targaryen though, I'd prefer you hold my head, collecting its drool...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Discontinued

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes them...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$43.95 from Lubricheck »

I always thought my car required an oil change every 3,000 to 5,000 miles out of necessity, but according to Lubricheck, I shell out my precious duos of Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States and fellow Pisces...

Thursday, February 27, 2014
$132.98 from Amazon »

Emson Electric's indoor pressure smoker sears, cooks, and cold smokes up to 4 pounds of food at a time. Rrraawwrr! Dinner for 1 is served! In up to 70% less time than it would be if infused with the savory breath of a hickory...

Friday, July 29, 2011
$55.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them...