A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, March 29, 2013
$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire designs...

Bar
Saturday, September 14, 2013
$171 from Etsy »

A set of 5 beer glasses, each of which has been crafted explicitly to cater to the nuances of a particular style of beer, is kind of pretentious and off-putting, right? But what if the set also came with a sense of self-awareness...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Who doesn't love avocados? Besides people who hate avocados? No one! And one tool all avocado lovers should have is three tools! In one! OXO's 3-in-1 avocado slicer slits, pits, slashes, and scoops fleshy green about-to-be-guacamole fruits swiftly and safely in a few turns of its body....

Monday, December 23, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of your...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$149.95 - $199.95 from Lunasee »

Lunasee ASL wheel lights for motorcycles increase rider visibility and safety by providing active side lighting over a broad range, even when bikes are outside the direct path of another vehicle's headlight. That the wraparound...

Saturday, March 9, 2013
$30 from Sober Up »

I sure hope my balance, mental clarity, and liver are enjoying themselves right now because my rippin' headache has yet to feel the benefits of Sober Up, the detoxification enhancer I just chugged like Kool-Aid. I know of two things guaranteed to make you feel like OD'ing on ibuprofen a few hours after consumption: spiced rum and live coverage of a political event hosted by Nancy Grace. At least...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013
$186 - $213 from solid gray »

Solid Gray has given the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a makeover for the 2010s and invites you to play an active role in the re-imaging with their hardshell backpacks. The 4 color schemes available highlight general rebranding...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$1,295 - $2,495 from Etsy »

Officially made and sold as Hobbit Hole chicken coops (or scale-mail-clad guinea pig coops! The uprising, it is all coming together!) these Lord of the Rings-inspired homes for the yard also serve as dog houses or kiddie...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$477 - $525 from bublcam »

What better way to prove you've got balls than to show 'em? That's the cue photography seems to be taking from projects such as the Panono and, here, the bublcam. A baseball-sized spherical camera, bublcam houses 4 equidistant...

Sunday, February 2, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice or heed...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$435 from Hovding »

The Swedish Hovding has a lofty goal: un-dorkify bicycle helmets without compromising their ability to keep bicycle riders un-dead. With claims of being one of the market's safest helmets, Hovding trades in the foam-filled...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$30 from Lumi »

My brother used to screen print T-shirts. He made me one with a Charlie Brown-looking assembly of twigs and a lone ornament that said, Merry Christmas Plant a Tree. And another with Danielle Fishel's face that said, Topanga...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$20.67 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur of...

Friday, November 29, 2013
$68 from Unikia »

Life hacking innovator Unikia adds the Stirio to its online showroom of tools that will expedite and elevate the filling of my belly. We previously saw the Compleat FoodSkin flexible lunchbox, a simple trick for keeping mile-high...

Monday, April 1, 2013
$579 from Matterform »

Matterform's Photon caters to people who want to get in on the 3D printing action, but have no existing computer modeling skills, and no desire to acquire any. A desktop-sized 3D scanner, the Photon will convert any physical...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012
$49.99 from Amazon »

iPhone, iTouch, Android, all laser-tag-loving smartphone owners, get ready for the AppTag Laser Blaster! The app-and-apparatus duo that will turn your basement, your backyard, and your 3-mile stumble home from the bar at 3...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$203 from Etsy »

Although this grizzly bear won't tote you around on his back and serve as your mystical forest companion, chances are he also won't eat you when you plop down on or dive bomb him while he slumbers. Because this is a Big Sleeping...

Saturday, January 21, 2012
$90 from Beta Brand »

Boredom meets the boardroom with these stylish yet comfortable dress pant sweatpants. These chameleons of the fashion world, at first glance, look like fine charcoal wool trousers. But, don't tell your legs that. They're...

Thursday, May 30, 2013
$99 from Inteliscope »

It's a tactical time of year. Crossbows, BBQ aprons, and now a forthcoming rifle scope and rail mount system that shakes up the shooting game by using an iPhone/iPod and mobile app to give readouts of critical ballistics...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

When I was little they used to have one of these devices that makes your hair stand on end at an amazing and delightful place called The Magic House. My mama would sometimes take me there if I could go 8 days straight without...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$3,999.99 from Etsy »

The practicality of slaying a dragon in 100% leather armor is questionable at best, but one thing's for sure: all the fair maidens who haven't seen this much cowhide since Kiss performed at the dairy farm are gonna dig it....

Saturday, November 24, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

It's never too early to indoctrinate your kids into the world of role-playing. Even casual RPG enthusiasts will get a kick out of J!NX's Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Romper for the 2 to 3 weeks it actually fits their ludicrous-speed-growing...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012
$10.99 from Amazon »

Sometimes, the last thing you want to wake up to is morning head. It's unruly and it's hard to handle, yet it must be calmed before leaving the house. It especially must be calmed before facing your ball buster of a boss and...

Wednesday, December 7, 2011
$17.95 from Amazon »

Ah perfect. Pets are great... until they impose on us in any manner. Cuddling on the couch and receiving unconditional love? I'm in. Taking them out, walking them, playing with them... that's kind of a nuisance. It really...

Friday, May 17, 2013
$7.97 from Amazon »

At Rutgers University in New Jersey they have these food trucks--the Grease Trucks--that have been around since way before food trucks became the hipster way of the world and particularly the Pacific Northwest and particularly...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$500 from Black Badger »

Carbon fiber for your personal hygiene, carbon fiber for your personal safety, and carbon fiber for your personal style. Black Badger's Dark Matter rings are made of solid, F1-quality carbon fiber plate, with each piece hand-faceted...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012
FREE from CV Dazzle »

A complex, but increasingly important concept, computer vision (CV) is the collection of algorithms that devices ranging from security cameras to Facebook's PhotoTagger use to automatically detect and recognize human faces....

Friday, May 17, 2013
$129.95 from SpyTec »

One thing I've always wanted to do while fending off UV rays is record myself fending off UV rays. Granted, this usually entails lying on my ass in the company of a sand-free beach mat, a 6-pack...fine, a case...of Bud Light...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$71,633 from Switch Modern »

Really this couch is called the Aster Papposus Sofa, but who knows what the hell an aster papposus is? I can't even pronounce those words together, and have just resorted to reading them as Snuffleupagus. To whom the couch...

Sunday, November 10, 2013
$51.46 from Amazon »

Cats, dogs, paparazzi, neighbor children without the athletic skill to control their damn soccer balls--these are the pests that infiltrate our back yards. Encroach our private domains. Stick their noses where they don't belong....

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$75 - $1,200 from Etsy »

DCIllusion hand forge and finesse their blades from damascus steel, their handles from the likes of bone, horns, and brass, and their designs from the combined imaginations of the world's best LARPers. Each of the two dozen...

Friday, August 16, 2013
$4,497 from Iron Man Statue »

Outstanding. Not just that it's a life-size Mark 42 statue from Iron Man 3, but that whomever forged it deemed "life-size" to mean "Robert Downey Jr.-size", which is actually more like garden gnome-size. Good thing Iron Man...

Friday, May 3, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

This Dragon doesn't breathe fire, it breathes air. But this air perpetuates fire, encouraging it to burn faster and stronger and continuously until its services are no longer needed, at which point water steps in to extinguish...

Bar
Monday, January 28, 2013
$10.99 from Spinning Hat »

An Exploration of Cap Zappa Onomatopoeia. Pop! Click. Whoosh! Clink! Ahhh. ...

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

When I see alien abduction images like this lamp's they make me think of one thing: Cartman gets an anal probe. Ugh, poor cow. Well, maybe not. I mean, really, whatever fate lies ahead for him on that spaceship can't be any...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$12.95 from Amazon »

Even if I weren't a gambling man I would like the 50/50 Savings Bank because every day it would remind me of Plinko, my favorite Price Is Right game, and also Bob Barker, my favorite game show host and general hero of life....

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,130 from QS Supplies »

It's like...Kraken meets...car wash. Though Vado's adjustable shower head sculpture is missing the 2 arms that would elevate it to true octo status, 5 minutes behind the curtain flipping and pointing this spraying beast and...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
$5.70 from Amazon »

The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers....

Saturday, September 8, 2012
$449 from Platinum Stages »

Life is a highway. I wanna grind it. All. Night. Long. Get outta my dreams, and onto my pole. Little red corvette, baby you're much too fast. I need a pickup truck...with a stripper pole hitched out back. I wonder how many...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning. Zing!...

Saturday, December 21, 2013
$27.99 from Overstock.com »

Yo quiero three large divots carved out of my back so I can hold tacos for gringos. Meet Tito...and his twin brother Tito...a duo of chihuahuas eager to liven up your Taco Tuesday with their droll method of tortilla shell...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Usually if beef jerky burns as it travels down my throat it's because I bit off a fat hunk and didn't chew it enough and the burn is due to an oversized mass of dehydrated meat threatening to puncture my esophagus as it lumbers...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Discontinued

Sometimes people do stupid shit, such as get extremely drunk and ornery on the 4th of July and refuse to respond to reason and jump off the deck of a Carver 54 motor yacht...twice...without taking their brand new iPhones out...

Friday, January 13, 2012
$75 from Etsy »

Every groom-to-be gets cold feet at some point, and this zombie wedding cake topper brilliantly summarizes both the worst and best case scenarios that could play out when that happens. Worst Case Scenario: Your feet are so...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$69.95 from Amazon »

The one responsibility that comes with owning a Betta fish--aside from not showing it a mirror--is cleaning its bowl semi-regularly, lest the glass should get so grimy as to interfere with your mean-spirited attempts to show...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013
$99 from Tokyo Flash »

I know I've said this before, but my cache of interesting stories is running dry so here we go again: someone recently told me that schools no longer teach kids to read analog clocks because kids all have digital watches and...

Saturday, November 17, 2012
Discontinued

Dudes, I think the Flip n'Grip Wallet is cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, and I'm willing to bet that you too are cool to the power of Paul Revere riding a Tron Light Cycle, so don't just rely on...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
$18.25 from Amazon »

Unlike a BLT without the bacon or a stripper without the boobies, a jump rope without the rope might actually be an improvement upon the original. First of all, a lot of people are good at jumping up and down (yes, I'm definitely...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
$79.99 - $84.99 from BriAbby »

My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with crispy...

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I must spend about $5,000 per year on pizza. Usually between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. How cost effective (and fun for my neighbors) it would be if instead of Internet ordering from Dominoes and watching Ollie add toppings...

Monday, October 7, 2013
Discontinued

Raul Souza's cleaver ring is what you use to threaten children who can't keep their hands to themselves when time out, grounding, and public humiliation cease to have an effect. Of course the ol' finger-sized-butcher's-knife-and-fake-blood...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't know what you get when you pass Go--maybe another axe or Gator machete to add to your zombie defense arsenal--but I do know that when I play Monopoly: Walking Dead Survival Edition I'll have permanent dibs on the bucket...

Saturday, December 8, 2012
$340 - $500 from SaferMoto »

As with those in cars, presuming Airbag Jackets' inflatable impact absorbers don't spontaneously detonate while a biker is cooly cruising the local strip checkin' out who is the what is the what some fine evening, the personal...

Sunday, March 24, 2013
$595 from Burglar Blaster »

Burglar Blaster, the DIY Home Security System, Scenario 1: It's late. You're in the living room watching your DVR of Michigan about to bone it in the tournament after two rounds of respectable action (sorry, Cornelius, but...

Friday, April 12, 2013
$59.99 from Etsy »

Can you play the ocarina? Yeah, me neither. I took piano lessons when I was a kid, but after I learned the Top Gun anthem and the theme from Jurassic Park and then refused to play anything else my teacher suggested we part...

Tuesday, October 9, 2012
$3,150 - $6,680 from BedBunker »

Do you know, BedBunker, how long it's taken me to find an acceptably secure and clandestine means of stashing my mint condition Transformers and GI Joes? Do you know how many potential thieves I've had to ward off, or have...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$15 from LOTR Project »

Featuring characters from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, I'd say The Periodic Table of Middle Earth would rank very close to the top of a list of Geekiest Items a Human Being Could Own. (I specified human being because...

Sunday, March 3, 2013

One time I participated in a Pedal Pub Crawl. Yeah, I know the beer bar on training wheels looks more suitable for middle-aged tourists who own a designated pair of "walking shoes" than a strapping stud like me, but I do admire...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$57.49 from Amazon »

When I need to cut line or slice through nylon...or, more likely, since I don't really do outdoor activities or know how to safely wield a knife, when I need to expediently cleave open the box containing my new copy of Hyrule...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Yes, $62 for six AAs is steep, but they hold their charge for up to 10 years, and, let's face it, you're never going to have trouble finding a couple mils of pee when they need a reboot. NoPoPos (No Pollution Power) are eco-friendly...

Sunday, December 30, 2012
$16.99 - $20.99 from Amazon »

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked warrior's...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$119 - $599 from TechJect »

If it looks like an insect and flies like an insect and is virtually indecipherable from an insect to the human eye while in motion, it must be a palm-sized robot dragonfly with spying, advanced gaming, R&D, and security capabilities....

Monday, January 14, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Some would say the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are making a comeback. LL Cool J would probably say don't call it a comeback, they've been here for years. Teri Hatcher and John Travolta would warn Leonardo, Michelanglo, Donatello...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$55.79 from Firebox.com »

This year, the grubby little hands that touch Santa's cookies are getting a superlaser blast to the neck. Or at least that's the scare tactic this Death Star cookie jar will promote in parental attempts to limit cookie overconsumption...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

Is it too early to be talking about candy canes? Most likely. But I join the Targets and Macy's (Macy'ses?) of the world in shoving Christmas down your throat immediately after Halloween only because I care about you. I care...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013
$27.20 - $85 from Shapeways »

Pain, blood, Thorn Dice: you gotta pay to play. Meandering threads of contemporary CAD technology intertwine to form polyhedral dice bodies dotted with protruding thorns and varying numerical sequences that accommodate all...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$899 from Montague »

Montague collaborated with DARPA to develop its Paratrooper, a high-speed, all-terrain tactical mountain bike that folds at the turn of a lever into a 3' x 3' pack in less than 30 seconds. Obviously, it was specked for military...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$275 - $400 from Etsy »

I'm not the biggest Borderlands fan. The name alone carries enough of an allusion to Canada for me. Then once I see a Psycho with those penetrating indigo eyes and a mutilating buzz axe...shiver...it just conjures too many...