A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Saturday, August 3, 2013
$100 - $500 from Stikwood »

Stikwood happens when real wood from the likes of oak and maple trees meets, say, duct tape with an infallible 10-year adhesive lifespan. As 1/8" thick panels with peel & stick strip backings, Stikwood installations fit against...

Friday, January 17, 2014
$3,500 from Etsy »

If I could ever afford to spend thousands of dollars on a custom-built castle whose drawbridge doubles as a Murphy bed, do you think I would buy it for my kid? Absolutely not. Partly because that fantastical fortress of slumber...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
$7,950 from Animi Causa »

Though I am not a tennis fan, given that the opening line of Animi Causa's product copy for their balls lounger is, "The Feel Deluxe is made of 120 soft and extremely pleasant balls," I am very happy that it's the tennis kind of balls that they look like. Because this infinitely malleable piece of furniture seems as if it may be the most comfortable place to lay my weary head on earth outside of...

Saturday, May 17, 2014
$59 from The Fowndry »

TIE Fighters may be fragile, but they're strong enough to crush your nuts. Rebel pecans, Jedi almonds, your only escape now is through my GI tract!...

Thursday, May 22, 2014
$28 from Toniiq »

This Memorial Day weekend, I will metabolize my alcohol without damaging my liver! I will take Toniiq Lingzhi capsules the morning after my nights of heavy drinking and address the underlying metabolic process that causes...

Saturday, June 28, 2014
$47.95 from Amazon »

The Predator bobblehead reminds me that I need to take revenge on this guy with an FJ Cruiser who parks next to me at work. He has a gold Japanese fortune cat mounted on his front dash that is perpetually, menacingly...waving. And not even waving normally, which would still be weird for a cat. Waving vertically, up and down, up and down at the shoulder joint. As if cats don't creep me out enough....

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$25 from The Cheeky »

Great way to draw attention to yourself in airports. Not only from other travelers, but the TSA, and law enforcement as well. If you love people staring at you, or just love attention in general, then these are perfect!...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$19.29 from Amazon »

A Mach 3...or 9...or whatever the hell number they're on now, a pack of blades, and a RazorPit. Gifts for Dad = done. The RazorPit, which I prefer to think of as a Big Boy Bed for my razor, recruits a patented friction technology...

Sunday, April 15, 2012
$70 from Kudu Magnets »

Dressing up kids and pets is so passe. The new canvases of self-expression are appliances. And the most decadent of appliance haute couture is Kudu's magnetic fridge skins--panels that adhere to refrigerators' full facades...

Thursday, March 6, 2014

"The essence of Oscar Mayer bacon will strum at your nostril strings like no other." While the Oscar Mayer brand has never been my first choice at the pork candy store, it will definitely be my first choice at the scent-emitting...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Giveaway: Original Grain Wood Watches 85
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of an Original Grain all-natural wood and stainless steel watch (up to a $195 value)!...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013
$45 from Etsy »

When I transform into a paper-product-based Optimus Prime, I like to take on a more active role in the process than lifting my giant cardboard robot arms out of a giant cardboard box. So thanks be to Chuck Norris that Etsy's...

Friday, December 23, 2011
$89.95 from Zombie Industries »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably at some...

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,699 - $2,099 from PicoBrew »

Even at a $1,600 investment, it would really only take about 6 weeks of home brewing for me to recoup the cost of a PicoBrew Zymatic in consumed beer. For me, a 6-pack of brewskis that doesn't taste like a donkey's bunghole...

Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Discontinued

Sneakers laced together and tossed over power lines. Also known as Shoefiti, it's an image we all know well with a meaning we...aren't quite as sure about. I thought the sneaker toss was what young boys did when they lost...

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Cufflinks that brandish all-caps disclaimers and warnings? My interest is piqued. Sparrows, peddler of lock picks and other Houdini-style tomfoolery, introduces Uncuff Links, wrist adornments that inconspicuously incorporate...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't...

Saturday, May 31, 2014
$229.99 from Amazon »

Whoa, the sixth scale collectible figure of Wolverine as portrayed by Hugh Jackman might look more like Hugh Jackman portraying Wolverine than Hugh Jackman himself. Head sculptor and painter Lee So Young and JC Hong should...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking like...

Monday, August 26, 2013
$316.68 - $641.48 from Le Beanock »

I wholeheartedly support Le Beanock, and any installation whose defining attributes are comfort, relaxation, the eschewal of productivity, and swinging to and fro in a way reminiscent of my infancy, when I snoozed in my mama's...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
$9.95 from MTMi »

iStash. Quite the restrictive--albeit clever and sort of fun to say--name for an iPhone imposter that's really just a slick combination of a pseudo-phone and a wallet. I mean, sure, it will covertly house cigs, lighters, and...

Monday, November 5, 2012
$120k - $170k from Legacy Power Wagon »

The Legacy Power Wagon. As the name suggests, it isn't new, but with only a handful crafted per year--by artisan auto mechanics at Legacy Classic Trucks in Jackson Hole, Wyoming--it remains one of the truck world's most coveted...

Sunday, August 26, 2012
$7,146 from Firebox.com »

Being a villain isn't cheap. So, like most actors, rock stars, and former Presidents, villains raise funds for the administration of havoc and execution of attempts to rule the world by selling out. The Villain Chair, available...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014
$20.99 - $37.86 from Amazon »

Sanuk uses real, squishy, foot-contouring yoga mats to make several lines of flip flops for both men and women. I tried on a pair once a few years ago in the company's homeland of Southern California and they were probably...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$1,750 from A+R Store »

Funny, the guy shown using the Smokestack outdoor fire pit is exactly the type of guy I'd imagine to be entirely incapable of using a Smokestack outdoor fire pit. Half-kneeling in a suit with a baby axe? I guess that means...

Friday, May 9, 2014
$177 from Amazon »

I like how anymore anything that's not a "smart" whatever it is gets labeled a "dumb" whatever it is. According to Quirky, which recently made Dr. Garthen Leslie's Aros Smart Window Air Conditioner available for purchase...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Plant flowers, not bullet wounds. That's ST lab's rosy goal with Flower Shell. The Scandinavian company, which has developed several trendy, quirky, and what they hope will be considered visionary products, plans to release...

Monday, October 21, 2013
$199.99 from ThinkGeek »

What elevates a Star Wars watch to designer status? Uhhh...price tag? Sophisticated aesthetics? Not coming attached to a rubbery plastic band my dog and I can chew on? And if that's the case, why exactly would I want a designer...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$580 from NLO Moto »

NLO Moto, recently of Predator 2 and Dredator 3 motorcycle helmet fame, has popped out a third mythical beast to add to its alien headwear menagerie. While the Orc Dragon deviates from using a Schwarzenegger nemesis as its...

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$10.56 from Amazon »

Did you just get turned down for yet another job at the town spy agency? Did the seamstress chortle when you brought in your new suit to be hemmed? Has it been a long...long...time since you've had sex? If you're entering...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012
$25 from Amazon »

Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large group...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$119.99 from Etsy »

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of Zelda-inspired...

Wednesday, June 25, 2014
$25 from PrezzyBox »

I call not drinking out of Luke Skywalker's crotch! Star Wars Stacking Mugs. Divided into thirds both vertically and horizontally the trio features the uppers, privates, and legs of Luke, Han Solo, and a random Stormtrooper....

Monday, January 27, 2014
Giveaway: Year's Supply of Beef Jerky 51
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win an entire year's supply of California cut-and-cured beef jerky from Get Some Jerky! That's 52 bags, 5 savory flavors, and a $364 value! Holy mouthwatering, protein-packed cow!...

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Real men shotgun Pinor Noir. Or maybe they'll start now anyway, since Union Wine Co. has transferred some of their Underwood Pinot Noir and Pinot Gris from pinky in the air, stick up yer ass bottles to backyard BBQ, salt of...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$125 from Amazon »

Projects Watches describes its timepieces as wearable architecture. I don't think they mean literally wearable architecture like the Sleep Suit, but maybe more like how if you take a building and extract its defining components...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012
$125 from Rogue Fitness »

SISU! is the Finnish word for stubborn determination, and an appropriate moniker for a 28-pound War Hammer that has a predominantly fitness-based application, but could also wallop the ever loving Fuck You out of the Delorean...

Monday, January 20, 2014
Giveaway: SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Set 67
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Meat lovers, sharpen your canines and whet your incisors. Here's your chance to enter to win a pair of SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Sets for tableside seasoning, searing, and devouring of your favorite marbled slabs (a...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$62 from Etsy »

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing...

Friday, May 23, 2014
$29.94 from Amazon »

Bulgaria. That's the inspiration, the origin, the country we have to thank for Deo, a candy that makes you sweat roses. The Valley of the Roses sits between the Balkan and Sredna Gora mountain ranges in central Bulgaria, and...

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Nice. A condom to carry my message to all the unborn children in the world. Attention would-be zygotes! I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER!...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Thursday, May 15, 2014
$41.75 from Amazon »

There's nothing I want more after traipsing through the whirling dust and scorching sun of a summer festival than a seat, a cold beer, and maybe one of my mama's chicken salad sandwiches. So I'm glad to see there's a Spectator...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$14.95 from Amazon »

Hmmm, ShutterBall looks like gadget fit for the MUA. But I guess that's not surprising given that people seem to enjoy taking selfies as much as they enjoy using sex toys these days. This bulbous piece of Bluetooth tech serves...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$2,549 from Snolo Sleds »

Carbon fiber. That stuff is pretty light, right? Hey! Cornelius! Good news! Next time we sneak onto the golf course to go sledding it's going to be WAY easier to schlep our implements back up the hill from the bottom! We'll...

Sunday, February 3, 2013
$35 from Amazon »

"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately...

Saturday, June 21, 2014
$129.95 from Amazon »

One thing about feet is that they reek. And one thing about feet and summer is that they reek exponentially more during this season of high heat and outdoor exploits. That said, the worst thing I've ever smelled was not the...

Sunday, October 20, 2013

What stands between you and the driver's seat of a precise, officially-licensed roadworthy replica of the 1966 Batmobile? One year and a few zeros, my friend. The most iconic of all the Dark Knight's transportation iterations...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$75 - $95 from GORUCK »

GORUCK makes this pair of military-grade gym bags from 1000 D ballistic or double-layered CORDURA. As far as I can tell, that means they're burly and water resistant, but will probably grow to smell like a combination of the...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
$325 from Etsy »

What's better than an inked Felicia Hardy prancing around, getting limber on your pages of The Amazing Spider-Man as the Black Cat? A real live girl (or boy--we aim to please all orientations) prancing around, getting limber...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of smoke;...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011
By: Flickr

If you can't afford the $55k price tag on the real TRON Light Cycle there's always this. And it's not a bad consolation prize. Are LEGOS the hippest toy around or what?...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$5 - $95 from Fiverr »

For as little as $5, Uruguayan artist Eliana Fernandez will send you a glimpse of yourself inside some of TV's most popular animated series. Kick off the return of The Simpsons and Family Guy, or bid farewell to Futurama with...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics, personality...

Saturday, December 1, 2012
$7.99 from Amazon »

Liven up the holidays--at least for yourself--with Prank Packs, fake gift boxes with intricately detailed photos and explanations of products just bizarre enough to be ridiculous, but just believable enough in enterprising...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
Discontinued

On the one hand, we look at people like Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp and envy their posh celebrity lives. But on the other, we look at the Who Tall Are You? Mirror and wonder how the H-E double hockey sticks they get so much...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$210 - $395 from PJ Reefs »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$4.20 from Amazon »

It looks like the powers that be, in a clandestine effort to identify all of the easily manipulated minds in the country, have incorporated a shell company to produce a bracelet which claims that just by wearing it, your body...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012
$599 from Aquarius PC »

Suck it, fishes! Thanks to AquariusPC, computers no longer have to gaze covetously at aquatic life, seething in envy over the cool, bubbly, pebble-smattered digs they thought they could never own. The Italian company has devised...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Though restricted to 30mW and 1.5W laser rather than actual plasma energy, Patrick Priebe's replica Plasma Cutter from the Dead Space video game series will still singe a block of wood and sear through a trash bag, and make...

Sunday, May 25, 2014
$16.81 from Firebox.com »

Mmmm, nothing cures a hangover like more carbs and alcohol. Though Birra Spalmabile, or Spreadable Beer, contains no actual alcohol, it does contain 40% beer--Atla Quota Greta, to be precise. Sounds Italian. And while the...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$35k from Prima Cinema »

Because I can't afford to pay $15, much less $500, to see a movie on the day it comes out in theaters, I'll still get my in-home new releases from bootleggers and watch Django Unchained between the heads of people who did...

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Protect your data from destruction with 1 whole TB of Cloud backup from DrivePop. Available for $69--91% off the $799 retail value--from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Friday, September 7, 2012

If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either way...

Saturday, March 22, 2014
$99.95 from Amazon »

The Combat Daddy Equipment diaper bag: no Skoda Man Pram is complete without one. Combat Daddy Equipment's Model 1 carry-all for fathers who drew the short straw and have to take their kids to the park...or stay at home and...

Saturday, June 8, 2013
By: Sonte

Wi-Fi enabled digital shades that apply to glass surfaces as a 0.4mm thick film, and turn from clear to opaque in a single second at the touch of a button. I'm not easily impressed by things that aren't edible or boobies...