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Winter

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Sunday, January 5, 2014
$25k from Track N Go »

When people ask me if I want to go snowshoeing I always say no because this activity usually involves walking. Often up a steep slope. In the snow. It's cold, labor-intensive, and there are no Playmates wearing nothing but...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$5,200 - $6,500 from Timbersled »

Timbersled does for dirt bikes what Track N Go does for trucks. Except I think Timbersled's intent is less to enable safe passage, work, and rescue operations during inclement weather than to enable sick motocross races and...

Monday, December 2, 2013
$119.28 from Amazon »

This shovel has been fitted with a gigantic wheel to make it exponentially easier to use, and it's called the Snow Wolf. So that's two things it has going for it. Also it claims that when old people whose children and grandchildren are too busy lying on couches and playing PS4s to help have to clear the 8" downfall from their snaking 50-foot-long driveways themselves, they will experience 3 to...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$2,549 from Snolo Sleds »

Carbon fiber. That stuff is pretty light, right? Hey! Cornelius! Good news! Next time we sneak onto the golf course to go sledding it's going to be WAY easier to schlep our implements back up the hill from the bottom! We'll...

Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

As much as I miss these simpler days on the ski slopes, I think I'd rather move forward with Oakley's Airwave HUD & GPS goggles than don my pink & purple snowsuit and man perm to travel back in time. Though you'll pay dearly...

Sunday, December 8, 2013
$49.95 from Amazon »

What?! A snow-melting stair mat? And a baby demonstrating its use?! But the best part of accumulated Mother Nature dandruff is watching little kids wipe out trying to navigate through it! I do feel bad for old people when they fall though. That also costs our health care system a lot of money in broken hips. So I suppose in at least one sense HeatTrak's thermoplastic tread runner provides a valuable...

Friday, November 8, 2013
$174.53 from Snow Inn »

Sort of a butt ski, sort of a sled, sort of a snow kart. The Yooner is sort of a lot of things by physical definition, but by use, maker TSL Outdoor would say it is only a thrilling, effortless, and, most importantly, learning...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012
$24.99 from ToyVault »

When it's cold on the slopes, the only thing better than wearing a toasty warm ski mask is wearing a toasty warm ski mask whose Lovecraftian green tentacles scare the ever loving shit out of fellow downhillers. The Cthulhu...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This is the gas-powered vehicle that combines the thrill of riding a snowmobile and the freedom of a snowboard, enabling you to surf effortlessly over the deepest fresh powder or on packed, granular snow....

Wednesday, September 12, 2012
$325 from Opulent Items »

Winter is coming. And when the temperatures drop below freezing, and the snow and ice and dragons and White Walkers storm your abode, it's important to be a good host. To welcome them with some Ice 'N' Go backyard hockey rink...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011
$17.99 from Amazon »

Concussion, anyone? The Crossbow Snow Launcher blasts a sizable wad of hard-packed snow up to 60 feet to strike the included target (yeah, like that's ever making it out of the box) or wallop your deserving victim. Schoolyard...

Saturday, June 30, 2012
Discontinued

I know, I know, it's the height of summer, and not only is this a collection of knitted winter ski masks, it's a collection of somewhat perplexing Monster Ski Masks that range from Kitschy Polka-Dotted S&M Beast to Black Tentacled...

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