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Jetovator Water-Propelled Stunt Bike

By: on June 17, 2012
$8,975
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I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris, and Jesus the Jetovator Water-Propelled Stunt Bike reminds us why even though money isn't everything, it kind of is. Able to rocket 30 feet above and plummet 10 feet below the water at up to 25 mph, the Jetovator received its aesthetic genes from a racing motorcycle, and its aerial performance DNA from a fighter aircraft. The combination allows riders to inhale the thrill of open-air flight on a water-craft as easy to ride as a bike. Dude, if only. If only I had $9,000, my ass would be on that vinyl upholstered padded seat ping-ponging across Lake Mac Daddy Pimp faster than green grass goes through a goose.

As depicted in the video, Jetovators are (rich) friend-friendly, allowing multiple riders to engage simultaneously, and interact in close quarters. Get a few (rich) buddies together and choreograph flight sequencing and stunts, such as barrel-rolls and back flips, to wow the on-shore ladies and gents with a Blue Angels-caliber spectacle, minus the neck cricks and sun-stained vision they'd normally get from staring at planes in the sky for an hour.

$9,000. It's really not that much when you consider the far more exorbitant cost of far less cool things, like college tuition, health insurance, a DUI.... Aren't there 89 of you out there willing to go in with me at $100 apiece, and we can each have 3.65 Jetovator days a year?

No, don't say no. Just say that you'll think about it.

And while you're thinking, check out the Basic Kit specs and inclusions:

  • All aluminum tubular frame with 1 fixed and 2 vectored nozzles
  • Fiberglass street-bike-styled body (provides vehicle floatation)
  • Vinyl upholstered padded seat, knee pads, and face shield
  • PWC Jet Unit Adaptor and Hose Mount (Seadoo, Yamaha, or Kawasaki)
  • 50-foot long, 4-inch diameter hose
  • Installation & Instruction Manual

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Sick in the Head: The 10 Coolest Motorcycle Helmets

Some people say you're sick in the head for riding a motorcycle. I say you're sick in the head if you're wearing one of these motorcycle helmets. And I mean it in the very, very best sense of the word. Here are my picks...

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Scorkl Handheld SCUBA Tank

$200 - $600 from Kickstarter »

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See Through Bottom Canoe

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TRITON, the human gills design concept I showed you dudes here 2 years ago (and which many of you had mucho to say about in our comments section) is running a crowdfunding campaign to actually produce the equpiment. TRITONs....

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I'm about to Jetfoiler your plans to learn to surf this summer, because Kai Concepts has stuck a hydrofoil under a surfboard and added an electric motor to create a wild-looking water toy and transporter that's probably...

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What is there to say about Tropical Tahiti's floating island raft fit for you and 7 of your favorite water-lovin', sun-soakin', float-happy, swimsuit-clad cats besides P-A-R-T-Y and O-R-G-Y?...

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Boba Fett Motorcycle Helmet

Unlike a few selections in this slideshow of sick motorcycle helmets, you can probably wear HJC's new RPHA 11 Boba Fett helmet without getting laughed off the road (it's an obvious, but not over-the-top Star Wars circus...