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Inflatable Pizza Slice Raft

By: on September 29, 2015
  • Inflatable Pizza Slice Raft
  • Inflatable Pizza Slice Raft
$20.99
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Mmmm, I can't think of anything sexier than a lady in a bikini all tan and oiled up and floating on a giant slice of sausage and pepperoni. Don't worry, ma'am, that pizza is made of polyethylene. Its calories won't impregnate your thighs.

The ones in those pina coladas you keep sucking down while you float probably will though.

This giant Pizza Slice Pool Float delivers big fun and endless cheesy jokes to the water in 30 minutes or less. It has a pizza crust head rest and a duo of drink holders. And just in case you thought the kitsch couldn't get any kitschier, individual slices can be rafted up alongside one another to create a complete pizza pie.

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You know those dreams you have where you're trying to run towards or away from something, but you just...can't...make...your feet...move? It's like running through quicksand, or setting concrete, or...on an underwater...

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Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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