124

Ultraloud Titanium Emergency Whistle

By: on December 14, 2014
$19.95
Check It Out

One more reason not to whistle at a lady: she might whistle back at you. At 120 decibels like a mother f'ing banshee. NiteCore's NWS10 claims to be the loudest emergency whistle on the market. Based on the above YouTube reviewer's testing of it--actual demo starts at around 3:45--I would give NiteCore 2 thumbs up for honesty in advertising.

This emergency/survival whistle is made of titanium alloy for combined durability and lightness (0.17 ounces). It is compact enough to attach to a keychain or hang around the neck, with the latter recommended for ladies with racks as spectacular as the one on the lady in NiteCore's press photo.

The whistle is approved as biocompatible and nontoxic to humans, and is corrosion-resistant. It works in wet or dry, hot or cold conditions.

Check it out

Helmfon Noise-Cancelling Helmet

Looks like Helmfon Jr. is playing with Daddy's noise-cancelling helmet again. Don't worry, kiddo, you'll grow into Darth Helmfon's sound absorber and privacy sphere soon enough. And then all the power of the Audibly Dark...

Check it out

Muzo - Personal Zone Creator & Noise Blocker

$159 from indiegogo »

Muzo uses anti-vibration technology to turn the world off. (Makes sense, given the number of other devices that use pro-vibration technology to turn the world on--VibeRider, anyone?) At approximately the size and shape...

Buy Now

The Skull Ultra Loud Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker

$35.56 from Amazon »

Your alarm clock with the soft hands and sweet voice telling you she made extra fluffy flapjacks for your first day of school? Ha! Mama's gone, dorm kids! This semester you wake up with THE SKULL! A "sweet" 113-decibel...

Buy Now

Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device

Sold Out from Amazon »

File it under "Prank." "Leg Up." "TCB." Or "Revenge." Shomer-Tec's Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device looks like no more than a nondescript gray box--a useless one, perhaps. You can even flip its switch and nothing...

Buy Now

Here One Wireless Smart Earbuds

Sold Out from Amazon »

Listen up! Or, put on a pair of Here One earbuds and drown out my babbling with their smart noise cancellation and wireless audio streaming systems. Here One says their the first earbuds of their kind able to incorporate:...

Buy Now

Eargasm High Fidelity Earplugs

$34.95 from Amazon »

Eargasm says their clear silicone ear plugs are "ideal for anyone with ears." Oooh, ooh, I think that's me!...

Buy Now

Skull Ultra-Loud Electric Bike Horn

Sold Out from Amazon »

Hear that, vehicles, kids zoned out in headphones, and grandmas too preoccupied with your walkers to take heed of my Swagcycle coming up hot behind you? It's 120dB of honking coming from my electric bike horn. Yep, the...

Buy Now

110dB Lung-Powered Signal Horn

$10.74 from Amazon »

Strictly speaking, Attwood Marine's Bellow Signal Horn is meant for boaters and sailers, a tool to be kept on board for use in alerting others of your presence, or draw attention in emergency situations. You can also...

Check it out

Deaf Leopard Train Horn Gun

It's not surprising that the Deaf Leopard train horn gun can put the power and sound of a choo choo in our hands. I mean, if they can turn forearm muscles into remote control guns with an armband and find the Higgs boson...

Buy Now

Bear Gentleman 130dB Personal Alarm

$13.39 - $16.99 from Amazon »

Pull his metal wiener and this bear will forget he's supposed to be a "gentleman" and scream to the tune of 130 decibels. In the process, he'll try to help your wife, your lady friend, your mama, or your kiddo draw the...

Buy Now

Viking Horns Hand Crank Siren

$72.95 from Amazon »

According to vendor Viking Horns, the quick rundown on their hand crank siren is as follows. Color: Dark Gray. Sound Output: 115 decibels. Construction: Metal housing. Operation: Manual hand lever. Ideal Use: Getting...

Buy Now

Audio Jammer with White Noise Generator

$137.24 from Amazon »

I'm not a spy and I'm not up to no good. Relatively speaking. But what I am is a man who values his privacy. A man who doesn't need his mama bugging his room with some sensor system she bought off QVC to listen to him...