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The Thumbsaver

By: on September 07, 2011
  • The Thumbsaver
  • The Thumbsaver
  • The Thumbsaver
  • The Thumbsaver
  • The Thumbsaver
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Why didn't I think of this? Probably because I've only hammered a few times in my life and it was usually into drywall. In a world of tools born from overdone simplicity, this is actually practical and functional. Protects you from cartoon thumb.

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TheraGun Muscle Massager

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The TheraGun muscle massager might be the non-human massager to end all massagers. In fact, I'd bet a crisp Abe Lincoln it could give most human proffesionals a run for their money too. Tension and pain relief, increased...

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THOR Hammer Tool Kit

Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...

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BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers

$36.89 - $136.29 from Amazon »

Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...

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WETNFIX Wall Plug Securers

$9.49 from Amazon »

WETNFIX gets it: sometimes you just need a little boost, get a little bigger to keep it from falling out of, or getting swallowed inside, the hole. Because the hole itself, that's already there. And whether it's just...

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Kootek Self-Defense Flashlight

$27.99 from Amazon »

Need a knife, a hammer, and a self defense club in a flash? Then you might want to carry Kootek's knife, hammer, and self defense club in a flash...light....

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Death Wrench Tools

$5.95 - $189.95 from Death Wrench »

My favorite slayers of the walking dead over at Zombie Hammer have expanded their market. Now in addition to using their American steel implements of doom to whack zombies, you can also use them to fix a leaky pipe and...

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The Rhino Hammer

$43 - $46 from Kickstarter »

It's a hammer stampede! Grab some nails and take out your aggressions, or just add this winning take on the animal kingdom's favorite horned herbivore to your collection of desktop toys. The Rhino Hammer is a functional...

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Vampliers Screw Pliers

$25.17 from Amazon »

One time I knew this girl who was a regular blood donor, and apparently if you're a regular blood donor the blood bank pesters you to donate even more blood, and so whenever they would call she'd look at her caller ID...

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BullseyeBore Laser Drill Guide

BullseyeBore or not, as someone who often has trouble even walking straight, there's close to a 0% chance I'm ever going to be able to cut, saw, or drill straight. But for the rest of you, the handy ones who only catch...

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Cole-Bar Multi-Functional Hammer

$79 from Cole-Bar »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

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The Beer Peen Hammer

Now you can use your peen to open your beer. I mean, if you couldn't already. Good Beer Hunting has smithed its Beer Peen Hammer in the likeness of an antique ball peen hammer they picked up at an estate sale. Each of...

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WohnGeist Tool Set

$3,100 from The Conran Shop »

These here are some fiiine tools. At least I hope they are because German manufacturer WohnGeist's 24-piece set and case cost upwards of $3 grand. Making them one of those stunning collections of highly functional and...