197

Super Splitting Axe

By: on February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97
Check It Out

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to give me the attention I deserve. Similar to when people get all huffy with their Facebook friends and make public posts in their timeline about how they're so sick of Facebook or they just can't deal with this drama anymore and then, despite all of the pleas to hang in there they receive in the comments section, the anger and hurt boils over and they--gasp!--delete their account. They give Facebook the proverbial axe. Except that Facebook knows humans are quick-tempered and irrational, so it forces these people to wait 30 days before official deletion takes effect and, along the way, sends constant communications inquiring as to whether the troubled soul is sure s/he really wants to delete the sacred, multi-media journal of his/her life. Once they calm down, most decide that no, no they do not. Because Facebook isn't just a part of life, it's the tree of life itself. Unlike real trees which, even when given the axe in unreflective haste, just fall over and die.

Fiskars' Super Splitting Axes don't really solve any of these problems, but they do make felling trees and splitting their logs significantly speedier and less taxing. At 36", the pictured X27 model is the company's longest axe. Other models range from 17" to 28". All are virtually indestructible and earn their "Super" superlative via perfected designs for weight distribution, blade geometry, and ultra-sharp edges. The combination allows axe blades to disperse wood more effectively, upping the percentage of one-strike splits with each swing.

X-Series' weight distribution approach concentrates the majority of the tool's heft in its axe head; FiberComp handles, while still stronger than steel, remain lightweight. This provides an optimal power-to-weight ratio that increases swing speed, in turn multiplying power--similar to an aluminum baseball bat. Blade technology employs a bevel convex blade geometry to further increase power and encourage one-strike splits, while Fiskars' proprietary grinding technique produces a sharper edge, better contact, lower friction, and cleaner cuts. The steel blades also stay sharp longer than those on traditional axes.

Fiskars axes are made in Finland.

Buy Now

QuadHands Soldering Tool & Vise

$59.95 from Amazon »

Though less QuadHands and more QuadPincers, this soldering tool and vise drives home an important point: every now and then we could all use an extra hand pincer. For makers and tinkerers, 4 pincers is even better....

Buy Now

Vipukirves Leveraxe

$247.93 from Amazon »

Honestly, the Vipukirves Leveraxe initially intrigued me because the guy holding it in one of the above photos is wearing black-and-white gloves that sort of make him look like he has a hook hand, and I thought perhaps...

Check it out

Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

Check it out

The Cache Belt

$25 - $95 from Wazoo Survival Gear »

Sometimes you need a fishing hook in the middle of Denali. Sometimes you need a bottle opener in the middle of a Monday morning meeting. The Cache Belt can help you out with both lifesavers in both spots. Plus a needle...

Check it out

Origami Pocket Knife

$480 from Bre & Co. »

You won't be able to fold the Origami Pocket Knife into a crane, but you will be able to use Bre & Co.'s 440C stainless blade to slice out the perfect neck and wings from the crane you're struggling to make from origami...

Buy Now

Bernzomatic High Intensity Trigger Start Torch

$39.02 from Amazon »

Oh it Bernz! It Bernzomatic! says the jalapeno. But as the hottest burning torch in the Bernzomatic line, this high intensity torch head not only delivers the perfect char to your peppers, it serves them right. Gives...

Check it out

THOR Hammer Tool Kit

Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...

Check it out

Stowaway Tools

Klecker Knives adds to its arsenal of handiness, previously populated by the KLAX Multi-Tool Axe Head and kiddo how-to Trigger Knife Kit, with Stowaway Tools. The line of slip-in / slide-out implements pair best with...

Buy Now

Gator Grip Universal Socket Set

$13.99 from Amazon »

The Gator Grip chomps up and spits out all the other sockets in your set. This universal socket houses 54 hardened steel spring pins that expand and contract instantly to fit a broad range of nuts, bolts, and other hardware....

Check it out

Firearm-Mounted Axe Heads

$110 - $120 from Melee Mods »

Since The Walking Dead started again, I've been thinking I need a new zombie-decimating weapon for use in my daydreams about stuffing them with bullets and hacking off their heads. Melee Mods' Tact-Axe and Gatchet should...

Buy Now

BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers

$36.89 - $136.29 from Amazon »

Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...

Buy Now

KLAX - Lightweight Multi-Tool Axe

$140 - $180 from Amazon »

Without a handle the Feller KLAX axe head serves as 7 different practical tools, including a hex wrench, hex bit driver, ruler, and bottle opener. And for anyone who likes huntin' for the best stick in the woods between...