Super Splitting Axe

By: on February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97
Check It Out

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to give me the attention I deserve. Similar to when people get all huffy with their Facebook friends and make public posts in their timeline about how they're so sick of Facebook or they just can't deal with this drama anymore and then, despite all of the pleas to hang in there they receive in the comments section, the anger and hurt boils over and they--gasp!--delete their account. They give Facebook the proverbial axe. Except that Facebook knows humans are quick-tempered and irrational, so it forces these people to wait 30 days before official deletion takes effect and, along the way, sends constant communications inquiring as to whether the troubled soul is sure s/he really wants to delete the sacred, multi-media journal of his/her life. Once they calm down, most decide that no, no they do not. Because Facebook isn't just a part of life, it's the tree of life itself. Unlike real trees which, even when given the axe in unreflective haste, just fall over and die.

Fiskars' Super Splitting Axes don't really solve any of these problems, but they do make felling trees and splitting their logs significantly speedier and less taxing. At 36", the pictured X27 model is the company's longest axe. Other models range from 17" to 28". All are virtually indestructible and earn their "Super" superlative via perfected designs for weight distribution, blade geometry, and ultra-sharp edges. The combination allows axe blades to disperse wood more effectively, upping the percentage of one-strike splits with each swing.

X-Series' weight distribution approach concentrates the majority of the tool's heft in its axe head; FiberComp handles, while still stronger than steel, remain lightweight. This provides an optimal power-to-weight ratio that increases swing speed, in turn multiplying power--similar to an aluminum baseball bat. Blade technology employs a bevel convex blade geometry to further increase power and encourage one-strike splits, while Fiskars' proprietary grinding technique produces a sharper edge, better contact, lower friction, and cleaner cuts. The steel blades also stay sharp longer than those on traditional axes.

Fiskars axes are made in Finland.

Buy Now

Air Hammer Compressed Air Tool

$40.46 from Amazon »

The Air Hammer from Ingersoll Rand uses compressed air to deliver a 2-5/8" stroke and 3,500 blows per minute. It comes with a 3-piece chisel set to, uh, drive the job home. Use it to cut metal, fix exhaust systems, and...

Buy Now

Vipukirves Leveraxe

$200 from Amazon »

Honestly, the Vipukirves Leveraxe initially intrigued me because the guy holding it in one of the above photos is wearing black-and-white gloves that sort of make him look like he has a hook hand, and I thought perhaps...

Check it out

Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

Check it out

The Cache Belt

$25 - $95 from Wazoo Survival Gear »

Sometimes you need a fishing hook in the middle of Denali. Sometimes you need a bottle opener in the middle of a Monday morning meeting. The Cache Belt can help you out with both lifesavers in both spots. Plus a needle...

Buy Now

Boker Plus Hawkit Neck Knife Axe

$24.90 from Amazon »

Boker made a wee mini axe to dangle from your neck. The Hawkit Neck Knife Axe won't do much good if you need to fell a tree, or even chop up some kindling, but as a funkily-shaped multi-tool and piece of EDC, it will...

Check it out

THOR Hammer Tool Kit

Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...

Check it out

Firearm-Mounted Axe Heads

$110 - $120 from Melee Mods »

Since The Walking Dead started again, I've been thinking I need a new zombie-decimating weapon for use in my daydreams about stuffing them with bullets and hacking off their heads. Melee Mods' Tact-Axe and Gatchet should...

Check it out

Stowaway Tools

Klecker Knives adds to its arsenal of handiness, previously populated by the KLAX Multi-Tool Axe Head and kiddo how-to Trigger Knife Kit, with Stowaway Tools. The line of slip-in / slide-out implements pair best with...

Buy Now

BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers

$36.89 - $136.29 from Amazon »

Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...

Buy Now

Kinkajou Bottle Cutter

$49.95 from Amazon »

Kinkajou. The word sounds like it applies to a precocious, yet cuddly, mammalian sidekick that sits on your shoulder and surreptitiously swipes peoples' two-bite brownies and tubes of lip gloss during walks through the...

Check it out

Coolbox Toolbox

$169 from Coolbox »

Hmmm, it appears that a certain cooler has started a trend. And while the Coolbox doesn't have a blender...yet...this so-called "toolbox of the future" does transcend all other toolboxes I've seen in terms of features...

Buy Now

Cyfie Multi-functional Grappling Hook

Sold Out from Amazon »

This multi-functional grappling hook can do a lot more than pincer up money for the coin laundry (though, in the style of the Claw Crane arcade game, it can do that too.) The assembly has a magnetic hook that itself can...