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Japanese Zombie Disposal Saw

By: on July 21, 2012

So the official name of this serrated slasher is Japanese Pruning Saw, but I think that's just because online marketplaces whose customer bases are mostly over-compensated, uninformed hipsters and yuppies want to subtly prepare and arm them for the zombie apocalypse. You know, without making them wet their pants. Thus, instead of calling a duck and duck, and an implement intended for the hacking up and disposal of zombie corpses a Zombie Disposal Saw, the saw appears under the guise of a garden tool--a "more elegant alternative to a chainsaw"--primed for trimming cypress hedges, cutting away unruly vines, and sculpting equestrian-themed topiaries.

Regardless of nomenclature, both those who know what it's for and those who need to kid themselves alike will appreciate the Japanese saw's smooth curves and easy feel--a design reminiscent of an antique pistol. Aesthetic admiration segues into respect, as wielders absorb the whittled chrome blade's eighty taper-ground teeth, ready to gnash through backyard encroachers (walking dead) in the form of everything from bark (putrefied flesh) to bamboo (diseased, yet surprisingly difficult to penetrate bone). Like most Japanese saws, this incarnation cuts on the pull stroke to ensure maximal control. Particularly when pruning branches above the shoulder (dismembering zombie test subject hanging high in the laboratory).

When not in use the saw resides in a beechwood sheath with a snap button clasp, and includes a belt clip for waistline attachment and easy transitions between saw, machete, clippers, and shovel.

Saws hail from Miki, a city in Hyogo Prefecture, Japan with a 200-year tradition of blacksmithing and kinfesmithing. The company responsible for this blade has been forging dangerously sharp objects since 1919. Saw blades are machine made 11.8" long with 8 teeth per 1.2", but pieced together manually into offensive instruments 16.25" in length (18" with scabbard). The saws have protective coatings to prevent rust, and handle wood is finished with a moisture seal.

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