Outdoors

Jackery Portable Power Station

$219 Amazon »

The Jackery Portable Power Station Explorer 240 is a lunchbox-sized tagalong pal for outdoor adventures that demand forms of entertainment other than the outdoors and adventures. You know, laptops, drones, your Nintendo...

Plow & Hearth Roll-Out Hardwood Pathway

$72.99 Amazon »

Dude. What I would give for my mama to have seen Plow & Hearth's Roll-Out Hardwood Pathway last spring before she saw these godforsaken DIY (read: guilt-your-son-into-doing-for-you) walkway path molds. That is, like...

Trampoline Sprinkler

Sold Out Amazon »

One question that's been on my mind a lot lately is, how can we make trampolines more dangerous? Seems like Biubee has been pondering the same thing, but unlike me, they've come up with a terrific answer: a 49' long trampoline...

World of Watersports Super Slide

$239.99 - $279.98 Amazon »

If I get the World of Watersports Super Slide, will you provide the backyard? At 25' long, this heat-beating piece of aquatic fun is big enough to accommodate 4 sliders practicing appropriate 6' social distancing at a...

Trackside Sound Reactive Fire Pit

This new track is on fire! It's not from Beyonce or Travis Scott either. Or Bruce Springsteen. Dad. It isn't even the song kind of track - though it can definitely rock out with the best of them. Dad. This track comes...

Piscinas de Arena Backyard Sand Pools

Not sure I'll make it to the beach this summer, but...the odds of getting there are a helluva lot higher than the odds of getting one of Piscinas de Arena's luxury backyard sand pools, in-ground swimming pools made with...

Hobie Mirage Eclipse ACX Stand Up Pedal Board

$1,899 REI »

Put the pedal to the...water? A stand up pedal board? Sweet Jesus, as my current favorite Twitter meme might ask, "What chapter of Revelation are we doing today?"...

Reapr Versa TAC Pry Bar

Sold Out Amazon »

To my mama: I came in like a wreeeee-cking bar / I never pried so hard outdoors / All I wanted was to strip your walls / Of the siding that was lee-ee-eeky / Yeah it was lee-ee-eeky...

World of Watersports Parthenon Canopy Spa Island

$606.21 Amazon »

World of Watersports takes ancient Greece to the lake with their Parthenon Canopy Spa Island. Now, in an effort to make this Parthenon float rather than sink you like a Greek tragedy to the water's floor, WOW has opted...

Sportspower Family BluPod Hanging Tent

Sold Out Amazon »

Despite literally hanging from a galvanized steel stand, I'm not sure how fun Sportspower's Family BluPod Hanging Tent would be for the other kind of hanging. The out kind. The quality time with Mama, Pop, and the kids...

Rhino BaseMate Patio Umbrella Base Weight Planter

$24.90 - $27.90 Amazon »

I just hauled 250 pounds of sand from Home Depot to my mama's house so she - oh, I mean I - could put it in her new patio umbrella, and now she sees the Rhino BaseMate patio umbrella base weight planter and is all, Ooh!...

Live Watersports Catamaran Paddleboards

$2,299 - $2,699 Live Watersports »

I must be into predators today. Live Watersports' snake-tongued L2Fish and L4Expedition catamaran paddleboards come hot - no, how about cool and refreshing floating in a crystal clear Caribbean bay? - on the heels of...

CRKT Pilar Copper EDC Folding Pocket Knife

$46 Amazon »

There was a girl named Pilar in my class in 1st grade. She was very popular because her mom knew how to make pinatas and always sent one to school chock full of Laffy Taffy and Smarties for major holidays, such as Halloween...

Pop-up Wind Sail for Paddleboards & Kayaks

$35 Amazon »

Ahoy, dudes! Who's ready to set sail this summer on a...stand up paddleboard? Kayak? Canoe? This pop-up wind sail attaches to speed-craving, or just lazy, paddlers' and rowers' chosen water farer to kick your trip up...

CanCooker Bone Collector Cream Can Steam Oven

Sold Out Amazon »

One thing my mama always used to say to me as a kid was, "Eat what you can and can what you can't." But now that I'm a grown ass man, not being able to eat everything on my plate - or everything in sight - isn't a problem...

Backyard Inflatable Pool with Seats

$52.99 Amazon »

One place I'm no way going this summer is the community swimming pool. I mean, not that I would anyway seeing as I don't like children or the parents of children, but if public pools were normally on my list of things...

Giant Custom Cedar Letter Planter

$400 Etsy »

Should you send your lady flowers or a heartfelt letter? How about a heartfelt letter filled with flowers? The Hamilton Design Co. custom builds these giant cedar wood planters in the shape of your preferred letter of...

Aero Inflatable Beach Chair

Sold Out Amazon »

I won't be beachin' it anytime soon, but an Aero Inflatable Beach Chair - size XXL, please - can blow up and plop down with my ass inside it plenty of other places this summer...

Lixada Pen Fishing Rod & Reel Set

$19.99 - $25.99 Amazon »

No fishing around for the right words required to use the Lixada Pen Fishing Rod & Reel Set. When anglers cast a line of poetry with this pen, they'll cast an honest to goodness fishing line, the poetry coming from the...

Judy - The Mover Go Bag

Sold Out Amazon »

True story. This one time, I had to be about 13 or 17. Around there. My friend and I were at the movies and it was just us and this one other kid who we didn't know in the theater. I remember thinking that must be because...

7-In-1 Angler's Fishing Pliers

$15.19 Amazon »

Just when the 6-in-1 pliers guy thought he had it made. He must be absolutely wracking his septaphobic mind trying to find his way back to the top of the plier chain. Let's see, according to the listing these 7-in-1 pliers...

AERIAL A1 Tree Tent

$370 Opeongo »

O peon, go! Collecteth mine AERIAL A1 Tree Tent and wrapeth its high tensile webbing straps 'round twin trees so I may slumber like the sloth!...

Camp Chef Sherpa Camp Table & Organizer

$169.56 Amazon »

When I look at Camp Chef's Sherpa Camp Table & Organizer I have a vision: I see my wife, the seasoned, refined home chef, unflappable in her cooking prowess even in the rustic and potentially harsh conditions of the outdoors...

Darth Vader Lightsaber Battle Pool Float

$24.99 Amazon »

I wouldn't bet a single credit that Darth Vader could even float in that armor, much less engage in a competitive lightsaber battle wearing it in the water. But 2020 is nothing if not a year of surprises, so here we are...