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Weapons of Svenhaellin Fire Pit

By: on May 26, 2015
$32,600
from
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Randy of Fire Sculpture Art has been bending metal to his whims for over 45 years. He believes, "The great sin in life is to be boring." Combine his craft with his credo and you get the Weapons of Svenhaellin Fire Pit. Made entirely of steel, the massive...lawn ornament? Viking Warlord marriage altar?...features an axe and shield lined with electronics that spout gas flames. Flame size and power are easily controlled with a switching mechanism. Unlike all the ladies that will be throwing their underwear at the pyre and themselves at your feet when you drop the curtain on Svenhaellin at your annual 4th of July BBQ. Easily worth its 32K price tag. Easily.

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$61.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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Eye of Sauron Fire Pit

$643.38 from Etsy »

I bet this fire pit knows some good ghost stories. What I didn't bet was that Sauron moved his Dark Tower to Canada, where he and his Evil Eye now mostly roast marshmallows and try to taunt Canadians into saying something...

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Aniva Cosa Transforming Chiminea & Grill

Aniva's Cosa lifts, flips, and slides between cooking your raw meat (BBQ), serving your succulent meat (side table), and heating your body meat (fire pit, or chiminea) while you eat it. The transforming grill impressed...

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The Blaze Fire Tower

$499 from Blaze »

Blaze looks to combine the best parts of a fire pit with the best parts of a grill in their Blaze Fire Tower. And me, I'm lookin' to come out the other side of Christmas in a Blaze of glory....

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Sparta Knife Block

$49 from Missing Digit »

I think the Sparta Knife Block is even better than the Ex Knifeholder because while they are both clever ideas, the Sparta version connotes a brave and stoic warrior defending me instead of an angry and vengeful woman...

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Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary...

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Viking Hammock

The Viking Hammock is one of many pieces of furniture Norse gods and warriors use to bed their wenches. They manage pretty well with it because the Scandinavians are a seafaring people and therefore not prone to motion...

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Hand-Built Roskilde Viking Ships

$45k - $545k from CultureNordic »

Have you always dreamt of owning your own authentic Viking ship, built by craftsmen in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde? Well I hadn't really given it much thought before, purveyor of fine Scandinavian gifts CultureNordic...

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Pendragon's Hearth Dragon Fire Pit

Melissa Crisp smiths some wicked fire pits. You've seen her stunning (yet slightly twisted) Forest Fire Pit burning through these parts before. And here we have an equally equal parts cool and disturbing example of her...

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Forest Fire Pit

$1,850 from Etsy »

Here's a snicker-worthy case of accidental black humor. Officially titled the Up North Fire Pit, this hand-cut steel sphere drew its inspiration from the majestical scenes and wildlife of Minnesota's north woods. And...

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Decorpro Ion Fire Pit

$1,358.90 from Amazon »

I can't decide what to use Decorpro's Ion fire pit for first: 1) Making an offering to the gods of beer gut removal in time for shirtless season; 2) burning my 38 belts, XL T-shirts, and other bad beer gut juju; or 3)...

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Blodlaetere The Anglo-Saxon Seax

$2k from Etsy »

Blodlaetere is a broken-back seax an Anglo-Saxon warrior might have used to wreak havoc during the Viking Age. And knifemaker Matthew Berry has spared no detail in his hand forging of both its 19-1/4" blade, and the nearly...