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Treeincarnation: From Ashes to Spiritree

By: on January 12, 2013

Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it is a very special kind of urn. Yes, even more special than the limited edition Yoda urn Walter resides in at the moment. See, the Spiritree is a biodegradable cinerary urn whose organic bottom shell is filled with flora's favorite nutrients. When combined with a deceased loved one's ashes and planted in the ground, it Houdinis death into a new form of life, mating the seeds with the calcium-rich cremated remains to birth a leafy green tree. And a lasting memory of the person who helped conceive and make it grow big and strong.

The Spiritree arrives as a two-piece container: the aforementioned organic bottom shell and a chemically inert, weathering ceramic cover, the latter of which breaks and naturally decomposes as the tree grows. To plant, find a good plot of land, place the Spiritree on the ground, and temporarily remove the ceramic shell. Spread ashes in a circular pattern around the central protrusion of the container's bottom, replace the top shell, and impregnante the tree with seeds or seeding.

Probably the most fun part about the Spiritree is deciding what type of trunked specimen the dead will grow back as. I think the people's personalities and the way they lived their lives should dictate that. For example, some return as handsome maples and evergreens, some giving apple or plum trees, others those goofy monkey trees, and still others gingkos. The trees that no one likes because they smell like vomit.

FYI, I should like to return as a snozberry tree.

No word on what to do if a Spiritree does not grow or dies, but my guess is that the phrases "SOL" and "Karma's a bitch" apply.

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