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Scarface Garden Gnome

By: on July 03, 2013
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If they were going to craft a Scarface garden gnome aiming an M16A1, you would think they could have also added some Al Pacino droopy eyes and a pouty mouth underneath that Santa Claus beard. As it stands--at only 9-1/2" tall, which I'm pretty sure is an accurate representation of Pacino's height--we have to make due with a Tony Montana sporting inverted brows, rabid saucer eyes, and a mouth so ominous I would not put my finger...or other appendages...anywhere near it even on a dare because it really causes me to question the inanimate nature of this "lawn ornament."

The gangster cum garden gnome includes an etching of Montana's iconic "Say hello to my little friend" quote on its base.

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Tertill Solar-Powered Weeding Robot

It's a weeding robot, not a weed robot, but the Tertill gets just as many props for helping out with the most tedious of yard work as it would for...what would a weed robot do, anyway? Roll joints and pack bowls? Turn...

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8-1/2-Foot-Tall Garden Gnome Statue

$2,278.86 from Amazon »

It's gonna be tough to schlep this garden gnome around the world with you for photo ops, but I'll bet if you do the 8-1/2-foot lawn ornament will help your Instagram account go viral. Who wouldn't want to follow Gottfried...

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Beach House Garden Shed

$4,352 from Amazon »

See, if my mama had installed a shed that looked like a beach house in my back yard when I was a kid, maybe I would have been more amenable to going inside it, and bringing out the tools and equipment she wanted me to...

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Hydro-Ball Wind Spinner

$129.95 from Wind & Weather »

The Hydro-Ball Wind Spinner isn't just a fetching piece of kinetic yard art, it's a Daddy's Little Helper that waters the grass or flower beds so you don't have to....

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Tuff-Guard Kink-Proof Garden Hose

$41.43 - $90.84 from Amazon »

Kink-proof garden hose season has arrived! Watering flowers, washing cars, "accidentally" spraying your girlfriend when she's in a white tank top...I love summer....

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NatureZap Weed Killer

$99 - $199 from Amazon »

The NatureZap series of weed-killing wands eliminates pests of the chlorophyll persuasion without the use of harmful chemicals, or harmful bends and twists of your lumbar spine. NatureZap combines a cocktail of Infrared...

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VegTrug Urban Vegetable Planter

$279.99 from Amazon »

While the VegTrug isn't quite what I mean when I say I could eat a trough of food, put some tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and jalapenos in this urban planter, and I may still be down for some deconstructed salsa by the...

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Leaf Plug N' Plant Cannabis Grow System

$1,500 from Leaf »

Marijuana is legal where I live (i.e., my bedroom) so why shouldn't I don my farmer's hat and experiment with growing my own? Especially now that sweet cannabis culinary gadgets like the Magical Butter and smart growing...

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Naiad Lawn Watering Robot

Blake Johnson developed the Naiad Lawn Watering Robot concept in 2009, when he was an industrial design student asked to "Identify a problem in yard care and design a product to solve the problem." In his research Johnson...

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Radius Garden Root Slayer Shovel

$44.33 from Amazon »

Root Slayer. For hacking off and digging up those stubborn roots in the backyard. I think my girlfriend has some hair dye called Root Slayer too. It serves a slightly different function than the shovel you see here. Both...

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Biopod Smart Microhabitat

$212 - $436 from Biopod »

Terrarium, aquarium, or herb garden. Grow flowers in the winter, or make a rainforest for your frogs. Read no complex manuals and acquire 0 new skills to learn how to do it. The Biopod is smart enough for the both of...

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Batmobile Robotic Lawn Mower

$5,555 from Amazon »

Fine, HUSQVARNA didn't design their Automower to look vaguely like the Batmobile. That's just a happy coincidence. And further reason to shell out a couple grand to purchase a robotic lawn mower to tend unattended to...