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Mystical Fire Campfire Colorant

Posted: June 28, 2013
Mystical Fire Campfire Colorant
$6.40
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I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns campfires into representatives of the full visible spectrum and think it is very enthralling and a most excellent summertime alternative to both my acid trip pillow and my acid trip.

Mystical Fire packets turn all wood-burning fires (the ones in your living room included) into a circus of colorful flames. Amazon reviewer CVTuckster suggests using more than one pouch at a time for larger fires, and notes they should be laid stably on a log, as functionality is dependent on their chemicals melting and adhering to the wood. He reports that rainbow light show effects last 15 to 20 minutes. Note: CVTuckster is only a Mystical Fire consumer, not an employee of the manufacturer, and could be lying or not know what he's talking about. But I believe everything he says because anyone named Tuckster has got to be a pimp. Mystikal, I suggest a rebranding. This should involve an alteration of your vocal timbre and an adoption of the stage name Tuckster.

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