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Giant Naked Baby Kite

By: on July 21, 2013
  • Giant Naked Baby Kite
  • Giant Naked Baby Kite
  • Giant Naked Baby Kite
  • Giant Naked Baby Kite
  • Giant Naked Baby Kite
$2,830 - $5,990
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Aw dude. It's like the perplexing baby head masks meet the life-size blue whale kite meets the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man descending ominously upon the Ghostbusters gang, shit-eating grin plastered across its face. The Cherub or, more frankly, Giant Naked Baby kite, was designed by Italian master of nonhuman flight Claudio Capelli, and sells out of New Zealand from Peter Lynn Kites.

Though I've never been there, my impression of New Zealand is that it's a fairly laid-back, decidedly not-prude country with an excellent sense of humor. That one of the photos in Peter Lynn's Giant Naked Baby Kite portfolio is of what appears to be a 6-year-old girl death-gripping and yanking down on the supersized little guy's dong serves only to strengthen this impression.

Supposedly the kite flies easily--pilotless and at an angle--despite its soft material composition and the aerodynamic challenges arising from its bulbous infant head and willy flapping in the wind. Precise Cherub dimensions are not listed, but the kite is available in sizes Giant and Gianter.

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Baby Head Masks

$450 - $500 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

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Wetsuit recommended, pilot's license optional*. FlyNano Proto, an electric, single-seat amalgam of a seabird and a seaplane, took its maiden voyages in Summer 2012. Now the Finnish company is working to develop its first...

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The Baby Muzzle

$149.99 from Japan Trend Shop »

First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...

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The Baby Shusher

$31.48 from Amazon »

Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise...

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In Vitro Baby Branding

Ink, sperm and eggs go in, a financially secure future comes out. In vitro fertilization is expensive, and let's face it, so are babies. What better way to offset the costs, and maybe make a little extra (elbow-elbow)...

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Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads

Through September 13th, 2105, click here to enter Dude's Mission Critical Baby Carrier & Daypack giveaway. It's your chance to MOLLE up those diapers, bottles & 6-month-olds with a Baby Carrier and Carrier Daypack combo...

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Infant Circumcision Trainer

$192 from Amazon »

Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...

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Baby Thug Onesie

$19.95 from Amazon »

"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

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Japanese design and engineering firm Phiaro has shown up to various motor and trade shows with some pretty sick rides, but the Buzz Helicopter concept (or maybe prototype? Information is sparse) has got to be the most...

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EHang 184 AAV - Life-Size Rideable Drone

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EHang cut its teeth on drone manufacturing a couple years ago with the GHOSTDRONE, a quadcopter they dub "smart" and "the easiest drone to fly in the world." But now it's 2016. Smart and easy to fly are standards. EHang...

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At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it....

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G-RO Carry-on: The One Bag

$279 - $378 from G-RO »

While the greedy, unchecked executives of the airline industry continue to make flying more difficult, expensive, and miserable for their own profits, private companies like Ostrich and G-RO are developing ways to make...