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Decorpro Ion Fire Pit

By: on May 10, 2016
$1,358.90
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I can't decide what to use Decorpro's Ion fire pit for first: 1) Making an offering to the gods of beer gut removal in time for shirtless season; 2) burning my 38 belts, XL T-shirts, and other bad beer gut juju; or 3) Cooking a juicy pig on the spit.

Inspired by Roman architecture and lighting shit on fire, the Ion is a 100% steel pit with ascending columns encircling its flames, and corresponding feet underneath to provide a sturdy platform for use, and a foot plus of base plate separation from the ground. It is coated in an automotive-grade epoxy powder finish, but will develop a natural patina after repeated exposure to high temperatures.

Ion columns all have cutout slits for resting skewers and roasting sticks, or mounting rotisserie spits. Dimensions are 46.8" x 46.8" x 39".

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

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Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way....

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BioLite Smokeless Fire Pit

$199 from BioLite »

BioLite doesn't make its FirePit smokeless with "a weird chemical fuel or a gas flame." It's all real wood, real crackles, and real dancing blazes that you can get lost in, or gaze into for signs from the Lord of Light....

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Tesla Coil Lighter

$15.99 from Amazon »

Tesla Coil Lighters are just one of your options if you're looking for a flameless, wind-proof lighter, but I think they're the cleverest looking. Simple, industrial exteriors with flip-tops that expose nifty arced coils...

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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie

$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

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Flaming Fire Wallet Magic Trick

$12.99 from Amazon »

Nevermind the girl, this wallet's on fi-re! / This wallet's on fi-re-erer-erer. / Looks like a bi-fold, but it's in flames / Ashed my cash, melted all my cards / Guess you'll have to pay....

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Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...

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Pyro Mini Fireball Shooter

$147 from Ellusionist »

Shooting fireballs from your empty hands just got a sleeker, slyer, more compact upgrade. Ellusionist, by way of magician Adam Wilber, introduced the original Pyro open-palm fireball shooter around this time last year....

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Firebiner Carabiner & Firestarter

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Half-carabiner...half-firestarter. But stronger than both. Ahhh, the Firebiner hybrid is a multi-tool straight out of Underworld....

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Tertill Solar-Powered Weeding Robot

It's a weeding robot, not a weed robot, but the Tertill gets just as many props for helping out with the most tedious of yard work as it would for...what would a weed robot do, anyway? Roll joints and pack bowls? Turn...

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Kindling Cracker Firewood Splitter

$99.99 from Amazon »

I'm choppin' some wood, splittin' some kindlin', buildin' a fire...naw. I'm really just sitting at my keyboard eating some turkey & gravy potato chips. Yeah, I couldn't believe they were real when I saw the bag either...