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Combat Garden Gnome

By: on November 22, 2011
  • Combat Garden Gnome
  • Combat Garden Gnome
  • Combat Garden Gnome
  • Combat Garden Gnome
$65
from
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People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or full squadrons--for anyone who wants to intimidate the neighbors' encroaching cats, while simultaneously decreasing their property values. Weaponry choices include US Marine Corps darling, the M16A2 assault rifle, and the AK-47, stereotypical favorite of the Amish. One word of warning: despite the anti-social message a gun-totin' lawn bauble seems to convey, what installing it in your yard really says is "Attention Rednecks! Mi casa es su casa!"

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Double Barrel Pistol

$4,400 - $4,950 from Arsenal Firearms »

The AF2011-A1 Double Barrel Pistol is a first on two counts. It's the first ever double barrel semiautomatic pistol manufactured for sale (not available yet, but on deck for Fall 2012). And, after getting a load of the...

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Grizzly 8.5" Magfed Shotgun

$411 from Canada Ammo »

No one has written a Wikipedia article on Dominion Arms' Grizzly 8.5 magfed shotgun yet, and no one has given me a Dominion Arms Grizzly 8.5 mag fed shotgun yet, so all I can really say about it is that from the very...

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SALT Self-Defense Gun

$299.99 - $349.99 from Salt Supply »

Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...

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Super Shorty Shotgun

$705 from Serbu Firearms »

The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty...

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The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory

$39.99 from Tac Sac »

Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...

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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie

$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

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Femme Fatale Ring Gun

Ladies with a vendetta, or a penchant for jewelry that also serves as a weapon, I'm afraid you can't buy the Femme Fatale Ring Gun. (Unless the person who paid $11,350 for it at auction would be willing to sell it to...

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ZORE X Smart Gun Lock

$95 - $169 from ZORE »

A couple years ago we saw Armatix's attempt to smarten up gun safety with a system that pairs your firearm with a digital watch, allowing the former to shoot only when it is within range of the latter. ZORE has a different...

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Tertill Solar-Powered Weeding Robot

It's a weeding robot, not a weed robot, but the Tertill gets just as many props for helping out with the most tedious of yard work as it would for...what would a weed robot do, anyway? Roll joints and pack bowls? Turn...

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The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer

Sold Out from Etsy »

A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign...

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Leaf Plug N' Plant Cannabis Grow System

$1,500 from Leaf »

Marijuana is legal where I live (i.e., my bedroom) so why shouldn't I don my farmer's hat and experiment with growing my own? Especially now that sweet cannabis culinary gadgets like the Magical Butter and smart growing...

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Armatix Smart System for Firearms

Looks like James Bond and Data from The Goonies are finally making good on that collaboration they've been talking about. What we have here is a smartwatch-controlled pistol. A gun that will fire only if it is within...