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1,500 Live Ladybugs

By: on March 19, 2014
1,500 Live Ladybugs
$19
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You are 1,500 live ladybugs away from an aphid-free garden. Aphids are also known as plant lice. Sick, huh? I mean, I have no clue about plants, but I do know a thing or two about lice (thank you very much Alex from third grade). And I can tell you those bugs are intrusive and pervasive and will make everyone call you Cootie Head 2 for an entire year (Alex being Cootie Head 1). So even though the only thing I can tell you about plants is that I occasionally like the ones my mama puts on my plate, I still feel confident in my recommendation that you protect your garden from plant lice. According to seller Orcon, ladybugs are a safe, organic, chemical-free way to do this.

The shipment of, yes you read that correctly, 1,500 live adult ladybugs promises its contents will dine only on insects, not the leaves of the flora you're looking to preserve. Since they don't fly at night, the spotted saviors should be released as part of a clandestine mission at sundown. Though they prefer aphids--and are each able to devour up to 50 of them per day--the ladybugs will also orally exterminate mealy bugs, scale, leaf hoppers, various plant-eating worms, and other destructive soft-bodied pests.

Destructive soft-bodied pest. That sounds like a terrific insult. It's vicious, yet sophisticated. I feel like it would be best applied to the chunky girl cock-blocking me from making headway with her hot skinny friend. I bet if I hiss it at her and then walked away she wouldn't even figure out what it meant in time to gut check me.

Anyway, if you decide to buy 1,500 live ladybugs to assist in your assault against other types of destructive soft-bodied pests, know that they'll not waver in their determination to help achieve your goal. They are warriors. They will keep eating until the bad bugs are gone. In the process, they will also lay their own eggs so that when new bad bugs try to stage a coup, fresh ladybugs will be there to thwart them.