One way to guarantee your kid grows up to be a spoiled, entitled brat like that little crapper Suri Cruise is to install an in-ground pool in your back yard--maybe even one that fluctuates between pool and patio--and then float a 110" inflatable movie screen in it. Coincidentally this is also a way to score a lot of friends. Particularly if you establish Wednesdays as Hump Day Hump Fest* and show porn on the aquascreen.
The floating inflatable movie screen's 110" distribute themselves in 8 horizontal and 4-1/2 vertical feet. Front and rear projection produce a 16:9 aspect ratio, which maker Superior Inflatables calls an "affordable way to bring in a new wave of fun for party entertainment." Superior Inflatables is obviously high and out of its mind.
Evidence further by its comment that the screen is so light and portable that "a 12 year old is suitable for setup." Great. Thanks for the tip, Super I. I guess I'll go pick up a couple of those 12-year-olds from the Home Depot parking lot after all.
Whoa, from admonishing spoiled brats to blowing the whistle on child labor in 200 words or less. Damn, I'm good.
*Speaking of Hump Fest, did you know Seattle, Washington hosts its very own amateur porn competition called Hump Fest? It's an annual challenge, with themes and rules (surprisingly, more about length caps, technical requirements, and the definition of "amateur" than about things like which orifices can be penetrated) and a grand public viewing of all the finalists. The audience even gets to vote on winners--Best in Show, Best Kink, Best Humor, etc. I tried to attend once, but got ejected pretty early for guessing out loud how every scene was going to end.