While I would trust the paracord to help me in my times of need--jimmying a suspended shelter during floods or stepping in for my broken shoelace during the 3-on-3 playoffs at the YMCA--I have to admit its Vader component makes me a little nervous. Is this the face of a repented or evil Darth Vader guarding the nylon that could help me survive life-threatening situations? The ominous expression on his face could go either way. On the one hand, maybe it means he's perpetually prepared to step in with his true, US-government-made, 550-strength paracord the moment the shit hits the fan. On the other, maybe it means the moment I unravel the cord to battle the shit, he's going to whip out the pair of scissors he's been hiding under his helmet.
Willing to take the risk? Contact cord-crocheter Josh Ackerman to place your order for the Darth Vader survival bracelet, either in the standard black and gray pictured, or the colors of your choice. All paracords are custom fit based on buyer-submitted wrist measurements. Ackerman even gives instructions on how to measure wrists accurately if you weren't one of the lucky kids who got to determine the circumferences of various circular body parts with string in elementary school.