A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily
Posted: Monday, July 29, 2013
By:

Melody Key Private Island

Melody Key Private Island
ADDITIONAL IMAGES & VIDEOS
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island
  • Melody Key Private Island

A private island a mile offshore in the Florida keys sporting recent multi-million dollar renovations, a main house with vaulted ceilings, pool, jacuzzi, solar inverter, on-demand muted generator, a desalination system, and an entire second house containing the property's battery-solar power equipment kind of sounds like a lot of upkeep. If I bought Melody Key I'd have to have my mama live on it with me to keep house and do the gardening. And if she's going to be there anyway, do my laundry and cook me food, including sweet treats with chocolate and/or flaky crusts on special occasions, or when I've had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Unfortunately, the house itself isn't all that roomy. Only 3 bedrooms, so it's not like I could hide Mama away in her own wing. Maybe the basement, and that wouldn't even be so bad in Florida since everything near the water in that state is built a story off the ground on stilts on account of the fact that there is a 65% chance a Cat 5 hurricane will sucker punch it at any moment. But even then it would be a little awkward to host keggers and harems without making Mama go hang out with the 24,205 watts of solar and 6,700 amp hours of battery equipment in the BatterySolar House for the party's 4- to 10-hour duration.

I don't know, I think if I ever move out of her house, it would be best if my mama and I just live separately.

Melody Key sits on a 6-acre island accessible only by boat. Obviously it includes a dock, as well as a canal front lot on Summerland Key.

Purchase Details: $5.99 million from Private Islands Online »