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The Harambed

By: on April 01, 2017

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in, because the lush and enveloping Harambed is here to cuddle and protect you the way a good mother should. It will never let you out of its sight. Never let you fall, or climb over its edge. Never put you in danger.

And if it does...grab that shotgun you have stashed underneath its frame.

The Harambed is made from 100% authentic faux fur over 10" of twin, queen, or king memory foam, and a pair of life-size arms. A matching pillow and sleep mask are also included.

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Why wear a reflective vest when you can turn yourself into a giant glowing human stickman before heading out at night? Sure, they call this YouTube phenomenon made popular by Little "Glowy" Zoey a costume, but I don't...

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The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE...

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Your alarm clock with the soft hands and sweet voice telling you she made extra fluffy flapjacks for your first day of school? Ha! Mama's gone, dorm kids! This semester you wake up with THE SKULL! A "sweet" 113-decibel...