Security

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Spartan Shield Fire Resistant Bag for Valuables

$59.99 from Amazon »

I'm showing you this Spartan Shield fire resistant (and water resistant) bag because I just ordered one for myself. I hope I never need it, but I have one friend whose house narrowly escaped wipeout from Hurricane Irma...

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PEPPERALARM - Automatic Pepper Spray Anti-Theft Device

$298 from PEPPERALARM »

The PEPPERALARM is a burglar alarm system that sets out to be a little more...proactive, shall we say? Its creators call it "The Robber Stopper!" and while they don't include any testimonials from robbers the PEPPERALARM...

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The Lock Locker Bump-Proof Deadbolt Door Lock

$18.65 from Amazon »

Yes, we've entered the age of the Lock Locker. A time when your door locks need their own lock. And just as the Add-A-Lock locks up your knob lock, the Lock Locker puts another layer of lockdown on your deadbolt. The...

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Push Pull Rotate Doorknobs

$15.70 - $53.70 from Amazon »

Brinks' Push Pull Rotate Door Locks allow for knob operation and open sesame access hands-free. So you can still get in and out when your arms are full. Or your hands are dirty. Or it's one of those days your fingers...

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Mini CCTV Screw Camera

$49.99 from Amazon »

It's a screw cam! No, not that kind...well. What you use it for is up to you, I guess. But I'm calling it a screw cam because this miniature CCTV camera looks like the piece of hardware--a simple screw just minding its...

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The Crook-Catcher Deluxe Thief Detection Kit

$40.58 from Amazon »

Stapler, sodie, and steak sandwich stealers of my office (and the world!) beware. You have been marked. And I promise, with my keen detective skills and 9-LED UV flashlight, I. Will. Find you...

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Fire Extinguisher Ball

$59.99 from Amazon »

In a way, AFO makes a fireball you can sling at your enemies to fight them off. But here your enemies won't be Goombas or Sagat, they'll be the flaming tongues of a stove fire or tipped-over candle, and your fireball...

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The Espire Gas Mask

Carlos Schreib created the Espire respirator for professional varnishers and chemical engineers who don't want to work with a heavy filter over their mouth or walk around the office looking like an evil steampunk doktor...

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The Fortress Luxury Safe

$128,800 from Doettling »

I sure hope German safe manufacturer Doettling's Fortress lives up to its "safest luxury safe in the world" claims because there's no way any owner of one is going to be able to keep it hidden, discreet, or installed...

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Spiked Sprinkler Head Hide-A-Key

$9.95 from Amazon »

Not that a good ol' rock doesn't still work just as well, but this sprinkler head version of the hide-a-key expands the options for people who have more grass than stone cover in their yard. The lockout preventer has...

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Firemask Emergency Escape Hood

Discontinued

I feel like, for the average American, the likelihood of experiencing a house fire is way higher than the likelihood of experiencing a nuclear biological chemical situation, but it's gas masks that get all the bug out...

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Wine Bottle Fire Extinguisher

$149.95 from Wine Enthusiast »

Bad news: this Wine Bottle Fire Extinguisher is not a real wine bottle. Good news: it is a real fire extinguisher. I got my mama one for Christmas and it has all the same heft and handles and gauges as the traditional...

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Concealed Storage Mirror

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ladies, no mirror will dare say Snow White is the fairest of them all when it catches wind of what you're ready to pull out from behind its glass. This 60" wall-mounted red herring conceals a full-length storage cabinet...

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First Alert 2-Story Escape Ladder

$33.01 from Amazon »

If you don't live in a high-rise building, and you're not Tom Cruise jonesing for stunt work at 53, you don't need to spend the money on a rescue parachute or rappelling system to be prepared in the event of a fire or...

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The Red Herring Secret Safe

$249.99 from Amazon »

If the number of Air Vent Safes you have installed in your house is starting to look a little fishy, balance out the trickery and keep your valuables just as secure locked inside Console Vault's Red Herring Wall Safe...

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Air Vent Hidden Safe with RFID Lock

$219.99 from Amazon »

Tough tamales if you're looking for air circulation this summer, but here at least your cash, Glock, and Chewbacca bandolier signed by all passengers of the Millennium Falcon will be hidden away and protected. It's Quick...

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Audio Jammer with White Noise Generator

Discontinued

I'm not a spy and I'm not up to no good. Relatively speaking. But what I am is a man who values his privacy. A man who doesn't need his mama bugging his room with some sensor system she bought off QVC to listen to him...

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Tactical Walls Inserts & Concealment Covers

$120 - $490 from Tactical Walls »

Although the word "tactical" has become as overused as the word "awesome", Tactical Walls reminds us there are still times when it can be applied meaningfully and justifiably. And also awesomely. Tactical Walls are inserts...

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FakeTV Burglar Deterrent

Sold Out from Amazon »

Home automation, cameras that let you play with your dog while you're at work, smartphone-controlled burglar alarms...I just want something simple. Something Kevin McCallister would have put to good use in Home Alone...

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Scout HD Security Camera

The makers of Atticus Finch's favorite home security system, Scout, are expanding their family. One of their forthcoming arrivals, the Scout HD Camera, is a 1080p, WiFi-enabled, "burglar-beating machine" intended to simply...

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Door Jammer Portable Security Device

Discontinued

I've always liked the simplicity and practicality of that Add-a-Lock portable door lock, but this Door Jammer device looks even easier to use. Just wedge it under any inward opening door and give it a kick. It also appears...

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Biometric Safe

$164.99 from Amazon »

It's pretty simple: your valuables; your safe; your fingerprint. BARSKA's biometric guardian of cash, firearms, last wills and testaments, and treasures you stole from Smaug allows keyless access only to those with the...

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iFingerLock - Fingerprint Padlock

Sold Out from Amazon »

I have exactly two recurring dreams. One is about 12th grade calculus and my having to take a final exam even though I did not realize I was signed up for the class, and the other is about not being able to remember my...

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Nest Protect Semi-Pleasant Smoke Alarm

$189.99 from Amazon »

I'm not on the best of terms with my smoke alarm. First it fell from the ceiling and went off. Then I left a few pounds of bacon in the skillet for too long and it went off. Then I had this girl over to watch Major League...