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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/Pet-Jellyfish-Tank-82.jpg?mode=crop "Pet Jellyfish Tank")
This is one of the coolest products we've come across in a long time. These are real damn jellyfish swimming around in your house. This is a very legitimate site and has a solution for all budgets. more...
/electric-quesadilla-maker-7524.jpg "Electric Quesadilla Maker")
It's not that quesadillas are hard to make on the stovetop or in the oven, it's that one typically craves a quesadilla when one is not fit to operate the stovetop or the oven. With minimal risk of administering second degree burns or more...
/life-size-yoda-in-carbonite-7209.jpg "Life-Size Yoda in Carbonite")
Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort of off in a potentially subtextual and meaningful way that I do not understand. But this is what we have. Yoda, 32" tall, 18" wide, and 3" deep in RTV silicone rubber "Carbonite", more...
/carbon-fiber-bathtub-6599.jpg "Carbon Fiber Bathtub")
If they were going put the effort into creating a bathtub out of airplane and race car materials, couldn't they have made it look like an airplane or race car? Not that I wouldn't still clamor to spend some QT in Corcel's carbon fiber more...
/whatever-im-late-anyway-6961.jpg "Whatever I'm Late Anyway Clocks")
Oh, how nice. A clock for people with no respect for others' time who like to turn their lack of responsibility and accountability into a big joke. Well, when I tell you to be at my place at 8 a.m. and you unapologetically roll up at more...
/typographic-iconic-movie-6410.jpg "Typographic Iconic Movie Prints")
Art for people who like to read the words and for those who like to just look at the pictures. Pete Ware pours his graphic design talents into this series of swell prints depicting iconic movie characters shaped from the typography of some of their most memorable lines. I'm going to buy them all and have a showdown. It will unfold as follows: more...
/MMA-Throwdown-Bed-977.jpg?mode=crop "MMA Throwdown Bed")
A great way to settle arguments between siblings, the MMA throwdown bed gives parents the option to let their children battle to the death before night night time. No biting or hair pulling please. more...
/who-tall-are-you-mirror-3788.jpg "Who Tall Are You? Mirror")
On the one hand, we look at people like Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp and envy their posh celebrity lives. But on the other, we look at the Who Tall Are You? Mirror and wonder how the H-E double hockey sticks they get so much respect more...
/life-size-minecraft-creeper-7363.jpg "Life-Size Minecraft Creeper")
Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy of the life-size more...
/youtube-shower-curtain-6975.jpg "YouTube Shower Curtain")
Today I will perform for the millions clicking on my YouTube shower curtain a rendition of Mr. Big's "To Be With You" as I lather my hair, followed by a standup routine about how I don't eat bivalves or things that taste like where more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/suzak-indooroutdoor-lounger-6335.jpg "Suzak Indoor/Outdoor Lounger")
With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose Manuel Carvajal more...
/makin-bacon-microwave-rack-7042.jpg "Makin Bacon Microwave Rack")
This idea of hanging strips of pork candy on the Makin' Bacon microwave rack seems preferable to my grandma's method of pounding cooked pieces between an entire roll of paper towels. No speck of grease goes unabsorbed! She did the same more...
/minecraft-lightup-torch-6408.jpg "Minecraft Light-Up Torch")
My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't be cold. In more...
/bartendro-cocktail-making-7119.jpg "Bartendro Cocktail Making Robot")
Robots do it better. The "it" this time: cocktails. Bartendro, a modular, open-source cocktail dispensing robot, makes a bevy of mixed drinks reliably and consistently in about 10 seconds a pop. Setups come with either 3, 7, or 15 pump more...
/stact-modular-wine-wall-7336.jpg "STACT Modular Wine Wall")
Any wall-mounted apparatus that holds the juice of the gods and resembles the Pachinko game from The Price Is Right earns high marks on my scrutinizing scorecard of things I encounter in life. Fabricated from aircraft-grade anodized more...
/transformable-table-7455.jpg "Transformable Table")
Taking a page out of Prince's book during Prince's Unpronounceable Symbolic Moniker years, this transformable coffee table calls itself D*. D'Asterisk? Dusterisk? Well if you rotate it 90 degrees clockwise it kind of looks like a shit-eating more...
/blown-glass-hermit-crab-shells-4580.jpg "Blown Glass Hermit Crab Shells")
It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From his glass studio more...
/back-of-the-door-cabinet-7190.jpg "Back of the Door Cabinet")
It's a Back of the Door Cabinet. Seven words, and my work is done. more...
/scrabble-rug-7034.jpg "Scrabble Rug")
Although most of my anecdotes and personal claims to greatness are complete BS, I swear, what follows is a true story. Two true stories, actually. First, I am a formidable Scrabble player. Second, one time I dated a girl who, when I more...
/fondue-mugs-5966.jpg "Fondue Mugs")
Forget dipping bread and fruit, I'm just going to melt and drink entire cups of Velveeta and Bacon Chocolate Bars with my Fondue Mug set. Geez, this is handy. Melting that stuff in the microwave makes it all lumpy and burnt in spots, more...
/key-knife-6055.jpg "Key Knife")
Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter, otherwise more...
/handbook-for-the-recently-6642.jpg "Handbook for the Recently Deceased")
This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with their own more...
/hitchsafe-key-vault-5780.jpg "HitchSafe Key Vault")
The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind small valuables more...
/glass-ar15-gun-pipe-4902.jpg "Glass Machine Gun Pipes")
If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either way, these more...
/zelda-triforce-lamp-7054.jpg "Zelda Triforce Lamp")
True, it is dangerous to go alone, but it is also dangerous to go in the dark. Take a Triforce lamp with you to light the way and remind all you encounter that wisdom, courage, and power are still the keys to Hyrule domination, and more...
/the-shower-beer-buddy-7460.jpg "The Shower Beer Buddy")
I know what you're thinking: who drinks beer in the shower? And I'll grant you, not many people. But in my opinion this sad reality exists only because, until now, the Shower Beer Buddy has not. Because brew enjoyment under a constant more...
/You-Suck-At-Parking-Business-Cards-980.jpg?mode=crop "You Suck At Parking Business Cards")
Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option, maybe letting more...
/combat-kitchenware-5655.jpg "Fighting Man Frying Pan")
Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the Fighting Man's more...
/queen-bedbunker-safe-5255.jpg "BedBunker Safes")
Do you know, BedBunker, how long it's taken me to find an acceptably secure and clandestine means of stashing my mint condition Transformers and GI Joes? Do you know how many potential thieves I've had to ward off, or have my mom beat more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
/boon-glo-portable-glowing-4601.jpg "Portable Balls - Glowing Nightlight")
