Household

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LED Pen Light

$21.99 from Amazon »

My vision, like most of my anatomical parts, is perfect. 20/20 all day, every day. Show me your tiniest font, optometrists, and I'll kill it! But. I'm afraid I cannot see in the dark. Or in restaurants that want me to...

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Burning Through Cash Table

Amarist Studio and Alejandro Monge hope their cash pyre coffee table will ignite as much discussion as it does 50 Euro bills. The piece is a symbolic reflection on "the volatility of money and its true value," consumerist...

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The Briner

$34.95 from Amazon »

Floaters can be good--boats, pizza rafts--and floaters can be bad--poo in the pool, turkey in the brine. The Briner is a 22-quart bucket that pretty much looks like any other 22-quart bucket, except that it secures food...

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Big Squeeze Tube Squeezing Tool

$28 - $32 from Big Squeeze »

The Big Squeeze isn't just some plastic tube pincher and goop nudger. Check out the GIF. The Big Squeeze says it delivers industrial-grade, Wile E. Coyote vs. a Train levels of tube flattening, and tube

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Zen Stone Floor Pillows

$39.22 - $273.73 from Amazon »

Get your rocks off as you take a load off with this cushy set of optical illusions. Zen Stone Floor Pillows will add a tranquil, yet quirky kind of visual interest to any room with floor space to fill, and floor lounging...

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11-Foot Teddy Bear

$464.99 from Amazon »

If you plan to buy an 11-Foot Teddy Bear as a gift for your kid, or gift for your girlfriend this season, I hope you have an 11-Foot closet...or off-site storage facility to hide him in until the big day. Better lock...

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Boulon Blanc Transformable Table

$823 from Boulon Blanc »

It's not Fletcher Capstan levels of cool, but the Boulon Blanc transformable table is a lot more practical, way less expensive, and still clever enough in design and execution to get my stamp of approval (i.e., I'd be...

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Pelamatic Fruit & Vegetable Peeler

$160 from Amazon »

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

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ManBuckets

$42.99 - $89.99 from Amazon »

Mmmm. Munching on some spicy coated peas from my Sir Racha ManBucket to kick off Saturday morning. To be followed immediately, or whenever my girlfriend says it's ready, by a bacon, mushroom & cheddar frittata drizzled...

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Aromatic Beer Glasses

$125 from Etsy »

I'm too lazy to climb mountains, but when I see one drowning in a fine Belgian Tripel I'm there like Cheetos dust on fingertips to pick it up and gulp it free....

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Light Side / Dark Side Switch Plate Cover

$19 from Amazon »

Forget the moral conundrum, jumping between the Light Side and the Dark Side should be like flipping a switch. Luke's making pumpkin spice muffins? Click. Light's on. The Force is with me. It's pulling me out of bed and...

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Kujira Whale Knives

$35.97 - $44.49 from Amazon »

Did you know whales can cut the cheese too? In fact, I bet they're the sharpest and most powerful cheese cutters on earth. Check it out. You got a sperm whale ready to cut the cheese, a humpback whale ready to cut the...

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Don't F*ck Up the Table Coasters

$23.99 from Amazon »

No reason to mince words when it comes to protecting the 300-pound cherry wood table you just bought off Craigslist. Don't fuck up the table, Cornelius! It's a fine piece of furniture that deserves better than a surface...

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The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

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Water Bhomb Pipe

Sold Out from Amazon »

Don't let Mario or Luigi near the pipe! It'll blow them up! They might be plumbers, and this pipe might be called a Water Bhomb, but my experience with the situation goes all the way back to 1989. My mama's basement....

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Science Lab Oil & Vinegar Bottles

$11.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Most foodies are savvy enough to know how to achieve the perfect balance of oil and vinegar in their salad dressings, space-conscious enough to be perpetually on the lookout for ways to consolidate containers on their...

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Sleep Yoga Posture Pillows

$54.90 - $74.24 from Amazon »

To me, yoga at its finest means Savasana. Corpse pose. Lie there in a hot room on a cold day and think of nothing but your deep inhale [belly rise] and deep exhale [belly fall]. With maybe a thought or two spared for...

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FOODsniffer Food Freshness Tester

$129.99 from FOODsniffer »

You don't need a trained bloodhound or a night of explosive diarrhea and vomiting out the nose to figure out if your food's gone bad anymore. FOODsniffer is a portable "eNose" that will test your meat, poultry, and fish...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Bellini Kitchen Master 8-in-1 Appliance

$529 from Amazon »

If you've watched the first few episodes of Westworld, you know where we're headed. Machines that will help us escape from our lives. Allow us to visit faraway places and times--real, not virtual--without an airplane...

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BAAM! Drain Blaster Cleaner

$21.32 from Amazon »

No, this is not the kind of BAAM! that spices up your sink drain or toilet bowl. On the contrary, it's the kind of BAAM! you call in when you've already spiced up your sink drain or toilet bowl and need help, uh, unspicing...

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Polygon - 4-in-1 Origami Measuring Spoons

$12 from Polygons »

A flat spoon. Isn't that about as useful as a holey bucket? Or decaf? Under normal circumstances, indeed, but under the origami folds of Polygons, spoons that lay smooth and straight as a nun's ruler aren't just useful...

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Sansaire Sous Vide Immersion Circulator

$176.20 from Amazon »

A sous vide machine is one of my best gift picks for anyone you know who likes to cook, and especially for anyone you know who likes to cook for you. Traditionally giant, cumbersome, and expensive temperature-controlled...

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Magnetic Soap Holder

$24.99 from Amazon »

Now this looks like some soap beamed straight down from Captain Kirk's bathroom on the Starship Enterprise. It's hovering there in midair because the pyramid base of the holder has telekinetic powers. And also a couple...

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Paint2iT Pro Anti-Gravity Paint Tray

$15.65 from Amazon »

What, you don't like splatter painting your carpet purple--sorry, eggplant--too when your girlfriend convinces you it's a "gender neutral" color perfect for your living room walls? Or spilling the whole tray of paint...

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DeLonghi Mica Panel Heater

$72.98 from Amazon »

My girlfriend wants to install this Mica Panel Heater next to her face on the bedroom wall. I've never known a girl who's so cold all the time. Except my ex-girlfriend, Karen. But I always thought that was because the...

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Erasmus Darwin's Steam-Cerebrum Skull

$46.45 from Amazon »

The Erasmus Darwin's Steam-Cerebrum Skull wishes all you Frobisher Brophys, Inquisitor Victor Lippetts, and Prof. Dr. Elias Claver, Esquires out there a Happy Neo-Victorian Halloween! A full 360 degrees of eye(socket)-catching...

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Brass Honcho Armored Flashlight

$39.98 from Brass Honcho »

Reduce, reuse, recycle may not be Brass Honcho's mantra, but when you buy one of their flashlights made from a real machine gun bullet you can still feel good about doing your part to eliminate some of the world's waste....

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Bookniture - Furniture in a Book

$81.51 from Amazon »

You don't need to know how to read to dig in to this book. Open the pages of Bookniture, and where you might normally find a Tolkien story you'll instead encounter an entire stool or side table Gandalf-ed into existence....

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Inspired Designs Ferrofluid Sculptures

$25 - $150 from Inspired Designs »

Ferrofluid represents the glorious union of science and beauty. Of visual art and tactile interaction. Of workplace boredom and sweet desktop toys. Inspired Designs head inspirer, Kyle Haines, creates his ferrofluid displays...

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Convertible Bean Bag Chair Bed

$425 from Amazon »

A full-size bed that pulls out of a bean bag chair: sweet. A full-size bed you have to stuff back inside a bean bag chair when you're done with it: hope you didn't have plans this weekend. I'd rather carry a couch 5 blocks...

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Measured Olive Oil Dispenser

$41.60 from Amazon »

Typically talking to me about "portion control" makes me feel very cheated and melancholy, but I actually don't like a ton of dressing on my salads or oil in my stir fries. I also don't like trying to measure out a teaspoon...

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Phantom Skull Decanter

$54.78 from Amazon »

I'm not sure the skull in this decanter is so much a phantom as it is a piece of glass blown inside a bottle. But you don't have to tell your kids that when you warn them about what Skully McSkullface will do to their...

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Elysium Weightless Chair

The Elysium Chair is the result of an equation defining posture and gravitational force. I think that's the math geek way of saying it's reeeeeeeal comfortable. So comfortable, it will simulate weightlessness when you...

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Chris Maynard Feather Art

Chris Maynard's father was an eye surgeon. Chris inherited his manual dexterity. His precision. His patience. He also inherited his father's tools. But instead of becoming an ophthalmologist, he decided to use them to...

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Sleeping Bag Chair

Someone please tell me this is the new proposed design for airplane seats. The Cocon is an armchair with an integrated sleeping bag. Designed by Celine Merhand and Anais Morel of Les M, the piece endeavors initiate "maximum...

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Muzo - Personal Zone Creator & Noise Blocker

$159 from indiegogo »

Muzo uses anti-vibration technology to turn the world off. (Makes sense, given the number of other devices that use pro-vibration technology to turn the world on--VibeRider, anyone?) At approximately the size and shape...

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Chill Sack 8-Foot Bean Bag Chair

$380.18 from Amazon »

They call it the Chill Sack only to avoid the lawyers' C&D letter or profit-sharing demands from a major corporation. But you can go ahead and call this giant 8-foot bean bag chair built for two (or three!) like it is:...

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Quell - Wearable Pain Relief

$217.45 from Amazon »

I wonder if Quell would help the pain in my ass. No, I really have one. On the bottom of my left butt cheek when I sit for too long, kind of right where it...yeah, yeah, don't think you're the first to say that. People...

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Ugo Cedarwood Bench

Here's a true man's best friend. The UGO Cedarwood Bench is the kind of dog that will always be there when you need to take a load off, put your shoes on, set down the groceries, and find a boost to change the light bulb....

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Kwan Loong Pain Relief Oil

$7.75 from Amazon »

No snake oil here. Just a 2-ounce bottle of pain-relieving, muscle-soothing, but-admittedly-funky-smelling Kwan Loong. I first experienced Kwan Loong Oil administered by the disturbingly powerful hands of a massage therapist...

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Pig Cabinet

$1,260 from YLiving »

I just saw that pig eat 25 comic books, 11 old Cosmos, 7 random cables, 5 remote controls, a coupla IKEA catalogues, a stack of coasters, and an old Xbox console. What a porker!...

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15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$79.80 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

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The Toad Sofa

You can kiss the Toad Sofa if you want, ladies, but remember: fairy tales and wishes always seem to have a catch. The prince might turn out to be this. Or, worse, this....

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Quaffer Double Bubble Layered Shot Glass

$9.42 from Amazon »

It was Jimmy Quaffa's destiny to design the Quaffer double bubble layered shot glass. Because "Quaffer" isn't just a play on Jimmy's name, it's an actual, dictionary-defined noun. One that probably existed long before...

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Shark Hologram LED Night Light Lamp

Sold Out from Amazon »

If they'd given Joseph an Amazing Technicolor Dream Shark instead of a Dream Coat, this holographic LED lamp is probably what it would have looked like. It would've been a way better gift too--I bet Joseph's brothers...

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LINE-X Virtually Indestructible Coating

By: LINE-X »

LINE-X protective coating supports a habit--no, not a habit, that suggests it's a bad thing. LINE-X protective coating supports a grand tradition I've established of extolling the bludgeoning, impaling, pulverizing, and...

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Dino Lamps

$40 from Firebox.com »

Holy extinct species, Batman! Is that a Diplodocus on your nightstand, or have you just been shopping at Toys in Babeland again? Dino Lamps ignite the night, and all the dark crevices of your living space (except those...

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Overbed Work Desk & Table

$84.99 - $94.99 from Amazon »

Awww, too sick to get out of bed? Better call the office and tell them you won't be in...but you'll be online in 5 thanks to your sweet little double-wide (or queen, or king--it's adjustable!) workstation on wheels, the...

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Better TV Viewing Beer Mug

$10.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Like the Viking Beer Horn Glass, the Better TV Viewing Beer Mug gives you every reason to pick up your pint for a sip, and then keep on sipping 'til the last hoppy drop is gone. In the mug's case, the strategy isn't so...

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Dyson Cinetic Big Ball Self-Righting Vacuum

$544 from Amazon »

Dyson has always been known for sucking hard and long. And their new Cinetic Big Ball vacuum contains 36 Dyson Cinetic tips that separate the microscopic dust they say clogs other vacuums, and upholds the company's never-lose-suction...

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Barn Door Shower Curtain

$24.99 from Amazon »

Country boys, take the barn door with you and curtain it right across your shower rod when you leave the family farm for the big city this fall. This door might have a little more polyester it in that your typical pine...

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Casper Dog Mattress

$125 - $225 from Casper »

Remember the Casper? Or should I say, the Hug & Bounce Mattress? Now your dog can get his game--and by game I mean 18 hours of sleep per day--on too with Casper's version Canine of their pressure-relieving memory and...

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Octopus End Table

$802 from Amazon »

Good evening, Sir, I am Mr. Belv-octo-dere. Humbled to be at your service. Yep, that's right. This octopus wants to be your table. He wants to balance your beer and slices of MeatZZa perfectly level all day, all evening...

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Viking Beer Horn Glass with Stand

Sold Out from Amazon »

Yeah, this glass beer horn technically has a stand that will hold it in between sips, but we all know real men take the beer by the horn and drink it 'til it's gone!...

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MDK9 Dog Haus

$3,650 from RAH:DESIGN »

Axel here turned his nose up at the first house his owner Rahil Taj bought him, demanding something "less Peanuts and more Frank Lloyd Wright, dude. You know, clean lines, dramatic angles. And can we show some creativity...

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Fidget Cube Desk Toy

$25 from Antsy Labs »

Whether it's the caffeine jitters, public speaking anxiety, or ants in your pants, those of us who aren't trained professionals in smoothness like James Bond and Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love will probably feel...

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Saddle Barstool

Sold Out from Amazon »

I was at the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar in Jackson Hole, WY once and saw these Leather Saddle Barstools in action. I mean really in action. A young lady, a middle-aged wrangler, a lot of shots of old whiskey...it's a story...

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Phil Curren Custom Car Chairs

What was Phil Curren thinking jumping from 30 years in the fire department to a "retirement" of restoring classic cars with his brother to a hobby of transforming those cars into Adirondack chairs? Where does he think...

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The Emojibator (NSFW)

$29 from Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...

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Shark Sushi Plate

$180 from Etsy »

Dunk a piece of your Caterpillar Roll in this sushi plate's wasabi & soy sauce reservoir and you might not get it back. Might be the last you see of your chopsticks...and your fingers...too....

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Heat-Resistant Oven Rack Guards

$20.89 from Amazon »

Sonofa-- [Insert long, loud string of expletives here.] How many times have I thought I'd just poke my pan of Bagel Bites a little farther back after sticking them in the oven? How many times have I been too lazy to pull...

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TubShroom Drain Protector

$12.95 from Amazon »

If my girlfriend's hair is even in the same room as the bathtub drain--no, sometimes if the follicles just sense the drain's presence from the kitchen or the living room--I swear I'm digging a fist-sized nest of her head...

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Wine Gun Electric Wine Opener

$29.99 - $39.99 from Amazon »

From 12 months floating in a cozy barrel of French Oak to 2 seconds staring down the stone cold barrel of my silver revolver (hot pink for the ladies!) Pinot Noir, prepare to meet your maker....

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FiberFix "Steel" Tape

$30.67 from Amazon »

FiberFix isn't made out of steel, but with a claimed 100 times the holding power of duct tape, this wraparound adhesive is just about as strong. Post-application, it hardens like steel too. In about 10 minutes. You need...

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The Rhino Hammer

$43 - $46 from Kickstarter »

It's a hammer stampede! Grab some nails and take out your aggressions, or just add this winning take on the animal kingdom's favorite horned herbivore to your collection of desktop toys. The Rhino Hammer is a functional...

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Cangshan German Steel Knife Block Set

$119.97 from Amazon »

Brass rivets in the handles and a Swiss cheese block gave this Cangshan knife set an Honorable Mention in the 2016 RedDot Awards. It does look pretty nice. Complementing the design details are the solid walnut used to...

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Slow Dance - A Frame that Slows Down Time

$249 from Kickstarter »

Imagine a club in Vegas. A go-go dancer. Strobe lights. It's a spectacle of stop motion animation, the fluidity of movement altered by the way the flashes of light play with your eyes. Now scale that scene way down and...

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Clever Cutter 2-in-1 Food Chopper

$14.97 - $23.40 from Amazon »

The Clever Cutter won't exactly carve your turkey dinner, but for chopping vegetables, snipping bacon bits, and slicing cheese, the scissor blades and cutting board in one are a lazy man's dream come true....

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Messerast Knife Holders

$150 - $170 from Buchholzberlin »

This rack is so nice it will give you solid wood. German home goods store Buchholz Berlin uses real branches, each obviously unique unto itself, to form and finish the Masserast series of kitchen knife racks. Each branch's...

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The Cover Clamp - Cover-Hog Combatant

$19.99 from Cover Clamp »

If you won't fly without the Knee Defender or park without DrivewaySpikes, then you best not share a bed with a cover hog anymore without the Cover Clamp. The Cover Clamp secures sheets and comforters in place on the...

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LoggerHead Tools Bionic Wrench

$23.94 from Amazon »

Here's that bionic arm you've always wanted. You don't even have to get rid of one of the ones you've got to use it. Unfortunately, all it's going to give you super, machine-like strength to do is chores around the house....

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Mandelmap Poster

$24 - $58 from Mandelmap »

I'm about to tell you about the Mandelmap, which means my brain is about to get really sore. You might look at the poster and think it looks cool. Artsy layout, vintage finish, and lots of "stuff" spanning its surface...

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Jeep Desk

I don't always often work, but when I do I prefer it to be behind the reclaimed hood of an old rusty Jeep. The only exotic catch I'm interested in bringing home from my South African safari. Or, as it were, purchasing...

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Camp Chef Indoor/Outdoor Movie Screen

$219.99 from Amazon »

One thing that makes escaping the city, unplugging, and vegging out amidst the beatific peace and quiet of nature is a pocket-sized projector. A few flicks from your favorite torrent site. Oooh, maybe some surround-sound...

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Perfect Reflection LED Infinity Mirror

$319.99 from Amazon »

Snow White's Mirror, Mirror on the Wall meets The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in a Perfect Reflection. A standard bathroom mirror for primping yourself into the fairest of them all by by day(light), the Perfect Reflection's...

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Zyp-Zyp Minimalist Tape Dispenser

$27 from Zyp-Zyp »

Zyp-Zyp is the first tape dispenser that doubles as a self defense tool. Just slide the spool over a finger or two, bear its bronze teeth, and...just kidding. German artist Pascal Heiler didn't design the Zyp-Zyp to bite...

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Grobo Indoor Garden

$899 from Grobo »

Grobo should be called Gromo. As is Gromo plants you can eat. Gromo plants that won't die. Gromo plants that Gromo all by themselves. But it's called Grobo, maybe short for grow box, maybe just a word its Canadian creators...

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Scoop & Stack Ice Cream Scoop

$14.95 - $23.99 from Amazon »

Pssst, here's the scoop: it's a cylinder. Madness! Madness! you say....

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Live Pet Chinese Praying Mantis

$16.99 from Amazon »

The praying mantis. As fascinating and educational as a moon jelly, but even more fun to keep as a pet because it will "tolerate handling." Especially if you let it suck some of your blood....

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Toilet Sink

$294.50 from Amazon »

Smaller spaces, smaller children, smaller water bills--a toilet sink makes sense. Technically. But you can tell me all day long about how the water that comes out of my toilet tank is exactly the same as the water that...

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JHO Knives

$90 - $180 from JHO Knives »

Simple and clean look sharp. Meticulous design and robust metals make sharp. JHO blades are nothing if not sharp....

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Battle-Rattle Whiskey Chillers

$79.99 from Battle-Rattle »

As a Platoon Leader in Ft. Carson, CO, Garrett Coker made a bet with a buddy on who would nab the higher Gunnery score. The winner would receive a bottle of Scotch. Coker won. He saw his buddy again a few years later...

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The Kashtray

$17.95 from Amazon »

The makers of this pipe smoker's ashtray say it was "inspired by necessity and enhanced through design." The inspiring mother they speak of is a pipe, used, cleaned, and ready for a refill. The invention she bore: the...

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Pillo Home Health Robot

$349 - $499 from Pillo Health »

Pillo. In a way it's like a head support to help the health-obsessed and hypochondriacs rest easy. More literally, Pillo is a desktop robot for the home you can task with managing and complementing your wellness. Pillo...

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Recycled Skateboard Butcher Knives

Sold Out from Etsy »

Trick out your kitchen with a 2nd Shot Canada skateboard butcher knife. Husband and wife team Lindsay and John turn ollies, tailslides, and top guns into the handles of their damascus chopping blades. Each is a OOAK knife...

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The Espire Gas Mask

Carlos Schreib created the Espire respirator for professional varnishers and chemical engineers who don't want to work with a heavy filter over their mouth or walk around the office looking like an evil steampunk doktor....

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The Nuggy - Smoker's Multi-Tool

$33 from NugTools, LLC »

Whoa, Nuggy! I'munna put you in a headlock and give you a Nuggy! Is that a Nuggy in your Snuggy or are you just...wearing a Snuggy in July without even being high? Nuggy, Nuggy, Nuggy. The only thing better than the word...

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Ammo Can Knife Set

First the ammo, then the fire. On the range, and now in the kitchen, courtesy of Delta Echo Products' Ammo Can Knife set. Arm yourself with the tools you'll need to cube, trim, slice, and dice your ingredients into shape...

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Tanita Ironman Body Composition Scale

$239.99 from Amazon »

Even though the Tanita Ironman gets down and dirty with its data, it's possible this is one scale whose numbers could actually make you feel better about your weight. Rather than just flashing out measurements of mass...

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Salt & Pepper Rocket Mill

$95.91 from Amazon »

Would you like some freshly blasted pepper on your salad? A little salt to take your soup from tasty to out of this world?...

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SOUP3RB Cook + Blend Blender

$79.99 from Amazon »

It looks like someone stuck the SOUP3RB's name in a blender. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether the word that came out of 3 Square's Cook + Blend machine is hot or cold....

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Geeky Sex Toys (NSFW)

$25 - $199 from Etsy »

Now that Pokemon have made you Go, Geeky Sex Toys thinks it's time you catch some that will make you Come. Yep, the enterprising Australian adult shop went there, and now has a (limited edition) set of Pokemoan dildos...

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Nike Shoebox Safe

Swoosh your stash so sticky fingers won't swipe it. Except...bummer. The Mandem Safe, a keyed crypt for your valuables that looks like a Nike shoebox, is still just a prototype. So even harder to get right now than a...

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Kyle's Kinetics Handmade Balancing Sculptures

$49.99 - $299 from Kyle's Kinetics »

Is your life out of balance? Could you use some inspiration? Are you just sick of Carson in the desk next door getting all the stop-bys and giggles from the ladies because he has the cool desktop toys? Kyle and his Kinetics...

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Black & Decker Matrix 6-Tool Combo Kit

$242.35 from Amazon »

Black & Decker's Matrix Quick Connect System is a multi-tool for dudes who don't mess around. This is no nail file-bottle-opener-mini-scissor-flashlight combo you can slip into your pocket. This is a Suitcase of Power...