A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear, Novelties and Zombies    * Updated daily
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Friday, July 29, 2011
Self Sustaining Ecosphere
$57.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them, set them more...

Sunday, April 15, 2012
Fridge Skins
$70 from Kudu Magnets »

Dressing up kids and pets is so passé. The new canvases of self-expression are appliances. And the most decadent of appliance haute couture is Kudu's magnetic fridge skins--panels that adhere to refrigerators' full facades, transforming more...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Self-Cleaning Aquarium
Sold Out from Amazon »

The one responsibility that comes with owning a Betta fish--aside from not showing it a mirror--is cleaning its bowl semi-regularly, lest the glass should get so grimy as to interfere with your mean-spirited attempts to show it a mirror anyway. Yet somehow, that one menial responsibility evolves into a pain so enormous in your ass that you: put it off; try to get your mom to do it; convince yourself more...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Bowser Beer for Dogs
Sold Out from Amazon »

Dogs. Always wanting to do everything their humans do. Drink beer. Hog the bed. Hump ladies' legs. And while they've mastered the latter two, minus the times a drunk guest sneaks them a few swigs during holiday parties, dogs miss out more...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Deglon Meeting Knife Set
$755.79 from Amazon »

Although Deglon is a French company, Meeting Knife Set just doesn't do this 4-count of nested slice-and-dicers the same justice of linguistic imagery Russian Doll Knife Set, or Venn Diagram Knife Set would. Not that I wouldn't buy them. more...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012
OHEA Self-Making Bed

The desire to own an OHEA Super Bed transcends mere laziness because, I'm sorry, I don't care what kind of draught horse you are, making the bed is an enormous pain in the ass. Think of all the people who trip over themselves and get cricks in their backs and waste 50 seconds of their lives on a daily basis folding hospital corners and heaving unwieldy comforters across mattresses. A self-making more...

Wednesday, February 13, 2013
The Avocado Incubator

If you're going to give an avocado the Cuber treatment, you must first acquire an avocado. Now I know one way to accomplish this task entails a simple trip to the grocery store. But we live in a paradoxical age of extreme laziness meets more...

Thursday, April 11, 2013
The Shower Beer Buddy

I know what you're thinking: who drinks beer in the shower? And I'll grant you, not many people. But in my opinion this sad reality exists only because, until now, the Shower Beer Buddy has not. Because brew enjoyment under a constant more...

Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Mood Lights - Image Projecting Bulbs
$25 - $45 from Etsy »

Felicia of MoodLights created her trippy projection bulbs almost two decades ago in a sweeping display of necessity serving as mother of invention. After her parents denied a plea to paint a mural on her bedroom walls, she started experimenting more...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Magnetic Field Stools
$886 - $1,271 from Jolan van der Wiel »

Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel not only created these Fraggle-Rock-meets-Super-Mario-Brothers-meets-Gotham-City hybrids, he also created the simple wood-framed machine used to forge them. Summoning the forces of gravity and magnets, more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Monday, May 07, 2012
Interactive LED Tables

I hope anyone who has one of these nifty Interactive LED Tables also has a few gallons of disinfectant on hand, because the two primary modes of interaction I foresee with their pressure-sensitive, illuminative surfaces are 1) face more...

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Monday, January 21, 2013
Skull Ice Cube Mold
$12 from Gama Go »

Not just an ice skull, but an ice skull with geometric lines and bends that make it look like some sort of diamond or crystal Indiana Jones-style ice skull. Astonishing what they can do with plastic molds these days. Just close and more...

Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Nuke Lamp
$1,388.66 from Shapeways »

This is what my head feels like this morning. I thought it would be appropriate for the day after New Year's Eve (aka New Year's Day) in case yours does too. Misery loves company. Company now comes in the form of a Nuke Lamp. And if more...

Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Hail Protector for Automobiles
$312 - $412 from indiegogo »

"Are you tired of being a victim of hail and living in fear of hail damage?" That's, no joke, Hail Protector's opening line. I think they stole their copy from a domestic violence Website. Let's see what else: "...pounding down"; "...rain more...

Sunday, August 26, 2012
Villain Chair
$7,146 from Firebox.com »

Being a villain isn't cheap. So, like most actors, rock stars, and former Presidents, villains raise funds for the administration of havoc and execution of attempts to rule the world by selling out. The Villain Chair, available at the more...

Thursday, October 18, 2012
Floating Tablecloth

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps, and here, a floating more...

Monday, December 31, 2012
The Dark Knight Bookshelves
Discontinued

Bring the Nolanverse to your living room with a set of Dark Knight bookshelves. Made to order. Just beam your Bat-Signal into the sky and designer Fahmi Sani will get to work erecting a set of webbed-winged night stalkers to hold your more...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Urine Powered Batteries

Yes, $62 for six AAs is steep, but they hold their charge for up to 10 years, and, let's face it, you're never going to have trouble finding a couple mils of pee when they need a reboot. NoPoPos (No Pollution Power) are eco-friendly more...

Thursday, April 04, 2013
Periodic Table Cutting Boards
$45 from Etsy »

From chemistry class I remember something about diatomic elements and noble gases, but mostly I remember that my teacher wore a tie-dyed lab coat and I could always see this one girl's lacy bras when she would bend over the beakers more...

Monday, August 15, 2011
AK47 Ice Cube Tray
$4.97 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics, so who more...

Saturday, March 03, 2012
Marine Mine Furniture

Estonian sculptor Mati Karmin has been creating art for over 25 years, but his marine mine furniture and decor are perhaps his most breathtaking work to date, and indeed some of the most unique pieces you'll ever take out a second mortgage more...

Friday, January 20, 2012
Where I've Been Scratch-Off Map
$14.99 from Amazon »

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off like a dried-out more...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
Han Solo Ice Cube Tray
$13.06 from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in it it's a stupid more...

Sunday, March 31, 2013
Big Wooly Balls Rugs
$11,500 from MYK »

And I thought the giant grizzly bear hide would be the most wondrous piece of ursine-themed home decor I saw all week. This rug from Berlin textile firm MYK, though, isn't just big and bear-y, it's made out of fun wooly balls that kind more...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friendly Toilet Seat Reminder

When speaking of our health, of preventing the ingestion of fecal matter thrust into the air during the toilet flushing process, is there really a need to mince words? Beat around the bush? Employ euphemisms? Woodpecker Laboratories more...

Monday, March 12, 2012
Doomed Skull Shot Glass
$6.27 from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those things more...

Tuesday, January 08, 2013
The Appleholic's Apple Peeler
$12.19 from Amazon »

True apple addicts don't have time to slough off the forbidden fruit's skin one strip at a time with a handheld peeler or their fingernails. And while other crank peelers technically get the job done expediently, their clunky, heavy more...

Friday, August 17, 2012
Blood Bath Wallpaper
$53 from Pixers »

Huh. Now this is interesting. And by "interesting" I mean, "I really hope I never show up to someone's house and see an entire room wallpapered in blood splatters." That's, like, some psycho housewife shit. Some Kathy Bates in a secluded more...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Your Inner Wolf Chair
$1,575 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's infamous more...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
Coffee & a Smoke Cup
$59.99 from Shapeways »

The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right hand* such that more...