Miscellaneous

Hand-Carved Incredible Hulk Nickel

By: Ebay »

Q: How does Shaun Hughes turn the buffalo side of a Buffalo nickel into an Incredible Hulk hobo with his bare hands?...

Archer Macho-Scented Room Sprays

$14 from archer »

Archer's macho-scented room sprays have a lofty goal: putting a positive spin on the statement that a place smells like 5 guys living in a 2-bedroom apartment. Can they succeed? I don't know, but hauling out scents such...

Baseball Hat Wash Cage

$7.95 from Amazon »

My preferred method of baseball hat maintenance is wearing them until they smell like the inside of a boxing glove and have mosaics of sweat and dirt encircling their dome, and then taking them for a dunk when I happen...

Multi-Position Pillow

$95.91 from Amazon »

When I think of a multi-position pillow, I don't necessarily think of sleeping better...or, ahem, sleeping at all...but if this Better Sleep head rest can do as it claims, and prevent my awaking from an otherwise pleasant...

Nitinol Shape Memory Paper Clip

$14.08 from Grand Illusions »

Nitinol. It's kind of like Rain Main. Has an infallible memory and a habitual state to which it always returns precisely and without fail, but...it doesn't deal with deviations from what it knows very well. Also, it is...

SONTE Window Film - App-Controlled Shades

By: Sonte »

Wi-Fi enabled digital shades that apply to glass surfaces as a 0.4mm thick film, and turn from clear to opaque in a single second at the touch of a button. I'm not easily impressed by things that aren't edible or boobies...

Mud Jugs - Spill-Proof Spittoons

$19.95 - $39.95 from MudJug »

I personally don't dip because I've always thought you have to be a baseball player or type of male who doesn't sob uncontrollably and beg for help from the Baby Jesus upon chewing anything that burns more than a stick...

The Oklahoman - Tornado Relief Aid Condom

All proceeds from the Oklahoman condom will benefit disaster relief efforts in the tornado-struck areas of Moore, OK, and all uses of the Oklahoman condom will benefit disaster prevention efforts in the tornado-a-brewin'...

Sad Shop Graduation Cards

$5 from Etsy »

I do not like jobs. It's a greeting card that speaks the truth. For graduates...for me...for you, I bet to, 'ey? Sad Shop's Katie Davis may have designed her whimsical well wishes for those bidding sayonara to the lazy...

The Baby Hanger

$39.99 from Mommysentials »

The Baby Hanger. A design so utilitarian, yet so uproariously hilarious, that I almost want to acquire an infant just so that I can hook it on a bathroom stall. Check out the gaping mouth and dangling legs on that kid....

Yoda Pipe

$330 from MJ42 »

Yoda pipe? Yes, I'll take one. I will also take one six-piece Chicken McNugget, a dozen Doritos Locos tacos, a deep dish pepperoni pizza with extra sauce, and three large Oreo Mint Blizzards. Thank you, and Happy 4/20....

Alice in Wonderland Caterpillar & Hookah

Sold Out from Etsy »

Needle-felted Absolem, blue, hookah-sucking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, you look a little too real for me. If I got high I would definitely try to converse with and befriend you. I might do that even if I weren't...

Life-Size Minecraft Creeper

$400 from Etsy »

Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy...

Hail Protector for Automobiles

$312 - $412 from Hail Protector »

"Are you tired of being a victim of hail and living in fear of hail damage?" That's, no joke, Hail Protector's opening line. I think they stole their copy from a domestic violence Website. Let's see what else: "...pounding...

Undead Teds - Your Bear, Zombified

$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Blue Light Experiment Kit

$12.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and...

Mr. Tea Greeting Card

$6.54 from Donkey »

The Mr. says real men drink tea, fool! But first, they graciously receive it from a loved one, embedded in a gaudily appointed, blinged out greeting card. Mr. Tea imparts well wishes, kudos, sympathies, and good old Wazzups...

Mario Piranha Plant Glass Pipe

Discontinued

If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry...

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Prank Pack Fake Gift Boxes

$7.99 from Amazon »

Liven up the holidays--at least for yourself--with Prank Packs, fake gift boxes with intricately detailed photos and explanations of products just bizarre enough to be ridiculous, but just believable enough in enterprising...

Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar

Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Medieval Weapons Push Pins

Sold Out from Amazon »

Now that you have a sword handle umbrella and a sword handle frying pan, it's time to continue the trek toward total sword-handled-houseware domination with these sword handle (plus an axe!) push pins. The Medieval Weapons...

Bubble Wrap Calendar 2013

Sold Out from Amazon »

One Bubble Wrap Calendar reviewer on Amazon recommends abstaining from an entire month of daily extra-large bubble popping satisfaction, and then at day 30 or 31 (fine, or 28) running your thumb down the whole row of...

Starship Earth - 3D Star Atlas

$518 - $1,616 from Yanko Design »

Not everyone can be like former 'N Sync definition of awesome, Lance Bass, and make a very public, failed attempt to ride in the space shuttle, but everyone (well, everyone with $500 to $1,600) can gaze at the stars from...

In-Home Fireworks Theater

$249.99 from Gizmine »

With this In-Home Fireworks Theater, you can now say, "Happy New Year!", "Happy Birthday, America!", and "Happy Sweet 16, spoiled brat with a rich daddy!" 365 days a year. From the comfort of your own living room, no...

Shut Up Tape

$12.38 from Atypyk »

Termed "66 meters of absolute silence" the Shut Up Tape is made in France, apparently by people who speak English, and probably by people who have these types of antagonistic thoughts about Americans regularly. Which...

Decapitated Horse Head Pillow Case

$21.85 from Amazon »

The Godfather. Like drinking beer with your bros, the phrase "That's what she said," and John Stamos, it never gets old. And now you too can play Don Corleone to your favorite (or most despised) Jack Woltz--minus the...

Glow-in-the-Dark Duct Tape

$8.64 from Amazon »

This duct tape, cleverly named Duck Tape, glows in the dark. So when you apply it to the passed out drunk guy's chest hair this Halloween, it looks more festive and in the spirit of the holiday. Also might help with the...

Clicker - TV Remote & Bottle Opener

$24.99 from Amazon »

Universal remote control meets bottle opener--and apparently a few celebrities and professional athletes--with the Clicker. Set it to dictate the actions of your TV, DVD player, cable, passive significant other, satellite...

Tabletop Fireplace

$159.99 from Amazon »

This portable fireplace will slide right in anywhere you need heat, ambience, romance, or S'mores. At 11" high x 14" wide x 5" deep, 8-1/2 pounds, and capable of heating areas of up to 375 square feet it's an easy and...

Waffle & Syrup Sheets

$80 from Etsy »

With optional fruit pillows! While I would typically prefer a pancake on my plate at breakfast, I gotta give it to the waffle when it comes to what's on my mattress at bedtime. We dug Brook Abboud's Slice of Pizza Sleeping...

Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

Sad Shop Greeting Cards

$5 from Etsy »

Sad Shop Greeting Cards range from statements of the obvious ("You drink too much", "I am a tool") to offbeat, yet endearing assertions ("I like you and naps", "I do not like fun") to profound proclamations of human emotion...

Burrito Body Pillow

True comfort food is the kind you can spoon. When Taco Bell, taco trucks, and tacos rosados aren't quite enough, turn to the Burrito Body Pillow. Stuffed with beans, corn, onions, salsa, and soft, snuggly polyfill, it...

Glass Machine Gun Pipes

If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either...

One-Handed Condom Wrapper

Though noble, I was very surprised to learn that One-Handed Condom Wrapper dreamer upper and designer Ben Pawle developed his concept (yes, sadly just a concept at this point, though now that it's hit the Web, I imagine...

Blood Pool Pillow

$15.66 from My eFox »

Everyone will be glad to know this Blood Pool Pillow comes with a 1-year warranty. Like, in case it evaporates or absorbs into the bedsheets or something, I guess. The deep red velvet casing is stuffed to a 3D level of...

Middle Finger Key

Nothing gives me more satisfaction than finding new and exciting ways of flipping people off. First, an umbrella, and now, a housekey. The Middle Finger key--or as vendor Goodworth & Co. calls it, the "Best Wishes" key--is...

Burning Car Candle

$49.14 from Atypyk »

Atypyk's description of the Burning Car Candle they peddle is pretty sparse. In fact, the only thing the vendor really says about it is "Have fun! (French tradition)." Which I find somewhat baffling because: 1) Many feelings...

Cookie Monster Pipe

Discontinued

Holy crap, can you imagine how many cookies the Cookie Monster would eat if he were high? Possibly all the cookies in the world. Which in a way would be interesting to witness, but in a bigger way very sad, because then...

Sorry I Am Such an A**hole Balloon Package

$15 from Just Kidding »

When verbal proclamations and pleading on hands and knees don't work, say it with the written word and helium: Sorry I Am Such an Asshole. It's a balloon package that could rightfully find its way into someone's home...

USBCell Rechargeable Batteries

$19.95 from Amazon »

The only thing I have to say about these USBCell Rechargeable Batteries is Why don't I own them yet? Is this not a ridiculously brilliant idea? The AAs work just like traditional rechargeable batteries, but instead of...

Come In/Go Away Doormat

$33.04 from Amazon »

According to my girlfriend, the Come In/Go Away optical illusion doormat is a cute 'n' clever idea. More importantly, it calms her fear that Eric Northman will go next door to that skank Kelly's house if he shows up one...

Dalek Pipe

Discontinued

Now this is just what the Doctor ordered. A Dalek who wants to smoke a few bowls, chill out, and make love (and nachos and microwave brownies) not war. No longer on a mission to "Exterminate!" the only thing the Dalek...

Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle

$9.50 from Man Can »

Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...

Floppy Disk Coasters

$38 from Etsy »

These aren't just floppy disks. Some of them are floppy floppy disks. The ones with the exposed strip of film housing the original Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards. Sadly for me, while the nifty wood...

Octopus Pipe

$40 - $275 from Andromeda Glass »

Usually when some smug schmuck tells me to put that in my pipe and smoke it I must restrain myself from punching them in the face. But I think part of the reason such restraint is necessary is that I don't often enough...

Doodle Duvet Cover

Doodling on the duvet cover? Next thing you know we'll be able to eat cookies in bed too. Bad news for the Fig Newton industry. I'm surprised Nabisco hasn't already bought out Doodle Duvet seller Not on the High Street...

Batman Batwing Fan Blades

Discontinued

The Dark Knight rises. Know what else rises? Heat. As the summer months approach, we must arm ourselves to fight this oppressive, yet elusive nemesis. We must strong arm hot air and gym sock stuffiness out of our bedrooms...

Ice Cream Cone Door Stop

$10.73 from Amazon »

The only things sadder than a lost ice cream cone are a three-legged dog and that Will Smith movie where he gives away all of his organs. And this uh oh...splat! representation of mankind's greatest culinary invention...

Video Game Junkie Wedding Cake Topper

Discontinued

Is it funny 'cause it's true? The witty, yet unfortunate Video Game Junkie Wedding Cake Topper is a Cynthia Niles custom design, made to order with a jumbo flat screen, and whatever gaming image, console & hand controller...

Legend of Zelda Key Hook

Discontinued

Key storage turns epic with a little help from The Legend of Zelda and April Iverson's handpainted key hook. The item is made to order with a standard single hook, but if you're feeling particularly Triforceful, you can...

The Hand Reflexology Massager

$119.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

Boy could I use a hand massage. After the hours upon hours I spend typing, mouse manipulating, sawing through overcooked pork chops, and picking my nose (spring allergies suck, yo) my mitts are wiped. A reflexology massager--even...

Your Face Wedding Cake Topper

$149 from Custom Made »

Your face on the wedding cake topper? Hell yeah! This is, after all your mother f'in' day, and for once, just once, everything damn well should be all about you! Oh, and whomever that person standing next to you in front...

Japanese Shouting Vase

Stress-relieving pottery that doesn't require the presence of Patrick Swayze's ghost? Sign us up! The Shouting Vase is a bulbous fabrication of ABS resin that, when placed against your lips, absorbs and quiets the loudest...

Nest - The Learning Thermostat

$249 from Amazon »

Nest wears the hat triumvirate of temperature commander, energy conservationist, and significant other who actually listens and responds when you attempt to communicate with it. A thermostat that makes a diligent effort...

Urine Powered Batteries

Yes, $62 for six AAs is steep, but they hold their charge for up to 10 years, and, let's face it, you're never going to have trouble finding a couple mils of pee when they need a reboot. NoPoPos (No Pollution Power) are...

Financial Padding Package Cushioning

$15 from The. »

All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material...

Nice Jewish Guys Calendar 2012

Discontinued

I don't think The Chippendales are in any danger, but the Nice Jewish Guys Calendar is certainly a good alternative. And you can display it proudly when Mom and Dad come over, or just make a quick switch before they arrive....

Where I've Been Scratch-Off Map

$18.37 from Amazon »

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off...

Happy to See You Naked Card

$3.99 from 55 Hi's »

Ladies, the answer to your age-old question, "What are you thinking about?" has materialized in greeting card format. 78% of the time you query your man about his internal musings, this is the perpetual, 14-word loop...

Girlfriend Pillow

$19.95 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

Moldable Plastic

$16.95 from InstaMorph »

The next time you throw your hands to the sky and lament, "Argh! If only I had a doohickey with a flat lip on that end and a kind of hook-claw on the other that's small enough to fit in this slot here, and strong enough...

Word Jumble Wrapping Paper

Wrapping gifts is not fun. It sort of ruins the whole giving experience. Wordless wrapping paper strives to alleviate the stress associated with wrapping your gifts by tricking you into thinking it's a game. It's kind...

Cheeseburger Wrapping Paper

$25 from Gift Couture »

It's not what's on the inside that counts, it's what's on the outside. Right? The good folks at Gift Couture have captured that heart-felt sentiment beautifully with this cheeseburger wrapping paper. This mouth-watering...

Miss You Card

$3.50 from Etsy »

Taken either as a threat or a thoughtful gesture depending on the intelligence and location of the recipient, this clever card is perfect for so many occasions. An ex-wife for instance could send this to her ex-husband...

Gift Complaint Form

I've often wondered why it is they have to ruin Christmas with gifts. Shouldn't we be paying more attention to Jesus than each other? And how long do we have to keep up the charade? The smiling. The fake excitement. The...