Miscellaneous

PediPocket Foot Pocket Blanket

$24.99 - $79.99 from Amazon »

I received a PediPocket Blanket, and can confirm it is indeed a plush, extra-long fleece blanket with a foot pocket at the bottom. And that foot pocket indeed keeps your toes tucked in and safe from any nefarious attempts...

Splitz Bedding - Split Blanket & Sheet Sets for Couples

$85 - $210 from Splitz Bedding »

Cover hog! Sheet stealer! Person who is shivering cold when I am sweating through the bedding! Splitz Bedding is a solution for couples who can't get their sheet - or blanket - together in bed...

Mast Humidifier - Natural Japanese Cypress Humidifier

$95 - $139 from IPPINKA »

The Mast Humidifier is a design- and eco-friendly option for bringing some moisture back to your parched home and sandpaper sinuses this winter. Made of hinoki, Japanese cypress, the Mast Humidifier uses no electricity...

SleepMuffs Sound-Blocking Neck Pillow

$100 from Blisstil »

Sure, SleepMuffs look a little silly on their wearer, but consider: 1) you're either wearing the sound-blocking neck pillow while sleeping in your bed, a time and place (presumably) no one is judging how you look; or...

Volcano Ashtray

$27.99 from Amazon »

If 2021 is gonna erupt, I hope it's in a good way, such as with this Volcano Ashtray and a big fat doobie sending smoke out its crater. Available in 2 different designs, neither of which appear to be modeled after any...

mcSquares Dry-Erase Sticky Notes

$19.99 - $49.99 from Amazon »

mcStick it on, mcMessage it up, and then mcWash it all away and start again. Post-It users, are you mcLovin' these mcSquares Dry-Erase Sticky Notes as much as I am?...

Life Hacks 2021 Day-to-Day Calendar

$14.39 from Amazon »

Uh, that tip about the strawberries on the front of the Life Hacks 2021 Day-to-Day Calendar box? That if you slice them fresh and put them in the oven for 3 hours they'll taste like healthy Twizzlers? Somebody get me...

Zircon Leak Alert WiFi - Water Detector & Alarm

$37.88 from Amazon »

Got leaks? Got no idea? OK, let's back up. Got running water in your house? Then the Zircon Leak Alert WiFi can answer the first question for you - and send you notifications via email, audio, and visual alerts when the...

Back to the Future Hoverboard Doormat

$27.58 from Amazon »

"Hey McFly, you bojo! Hoverboards don't work on water!" Haha, suck it, Data! This hoverboard was made for water. And snow. And dirt. And that hunk of dog shit stuck to your Nike Air Mags some Biff of a pet owner didn't...

Candles of the Year by Anecdote Candles

The flicker fiends at Anecdote Candles hand-pour all of their candles using a coconut-soy wax blend, except the 2020 Candle of the Year, which they hired God to pour using his special concoction of fire and brimstone...

Custom Bookcase Quilt

$449 - $1,229 from Etsy »

Ahhh, nothing like cuddling up under a cozy bookcase with a great book from the quilt. I mean, a cozy quilt with a great book from the bookcase. I mean, well, in this (book)case, both. Etsy shop Sew lt Seams Creations...

iSiLER Portable Ceramic Space Heater

Sold Out from Amazon »

It's fitting that the iSiLER Portable Ceramic Space Heater is bright yellow because that color communicates sun and warmth. And also mustard. And if you were around this time last year, French's Yellow Mustard Ice Cream...

deeTOOL MAN Door Draft Stopper

$17.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

deeTOOL MAN says installation of their Door Draft Stopper "is a breeze," Hmmm. Given what the cold air barricade is intended to curtail, I might have gone with a different expression. Like, installing the Door Draft Stopper...

Japanese Floor Mattress

$128.87 - $168.67 from Amazon »

Who's up for a roll in the cotton and memory foam? This Japanese Floor Mattress, despite basically being an exotic way to say "futon without the frame", looks enticing. I love my elevated grown man bed and latex grown...

Bisaten Energy Efficient Thermal Paint & Primer

Sold Out from Amazon »

It's a coat for a coat. Add a coat of Bisaten Thermal Paint & Primer to your walls, and remove the coat you wear inside all winter because you can't set your thermostat above 65 without your heating bill bleeding you...

Englander Microfiber Air Mattress

$99.95 - $159.95 from Amazon »

It's not really in my best interest to make my overnight houseguests as comfortable as possible, seeing as I wish most of them would leave about 2 hours after they arrive. But I still support the Englander Microfiber...

Dad Grass Hemp CBD Pre Rolls in Screw Decoy Box

$37 from Dad Grass »

Dad Grass isn't quite as illicit and un-Dadly as it sounds, but it's not entirely innocent - like a reference to the grass stains on Dad's New Balance sneaks after mowing the lawn - either. Dad Grass smoke packs contain...

Neatmaster Ultrasonic Pest Repeller

$29.95 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Paranoia, paranoia, bugs and rats are comin' to get me! That's what I sang to my mama when she asked me to install some Neatmaster Ultrasonic Pest Repellers in her house, even though she hasn't noticed any "particular...

The Death Star Fireball Fire Extinguisher

Discontinued

Another successful Death Star detonation whose explosion saves the galaxy! Or at least your house. Fire extinguisher balls, spheres you can roll or chuck at almost any type of flame, are nothing new, but Fireball maker...

TokBud Smoker's Multi-Tool

$24 - $29 from Elevated Mechanics »

Everyone needs a bud. Some people need a bud they can toke. And some of those people need a TokBud, a bud for toking their buds...

July WiFi-Enabled Window Air Conditioner

$261.75 - $399 from July »

You don't have to wait until July this year to need a July WiFi-enabled window air conditioner, but you're going to have to wait until way past July to get one. Thanks to its inconspicuous, inoffensive look, and promises...

Summerland Handmade Ceramic Bongs

$165 - $275 from Summerland »

Relax. Calm down. Funny how those have turned into fightin' words. On top of being difficult states to achieve even when some condescending butthead isn't issuing them as a command. If we were together I'd say no such...

Fouch on the Couch Throw Pillow

Tony is here on a pillow finally I guess after studying and doing medical school for so long. It must be strange to be an anonymous doctor, then all of a sudden make it onto a pillow out of nowhere. Like, this guy was...

CRC Smoke Test - Smoke Detector Tester

$12.71 from Amazon »

I have a can of CRC Smoke Test in my shopping cart right now because 2 days ago I got some interesting news. Did you know the most godforsaken thing a smoke detector does - beep at 15-second intervals when its batteries...