Miscellaneous

LoveBalls Hot Water Bottle

$31.99 from Amazon »

Sore legs? Achy back? Feeling butt hurt? Just LoveBalls? LoveBalls hot water bottle to the rescue! Plop these balls down on your tired and tender bits and let them love away the pain. LoveBalls even come with a blue jeans...

Session Bong

$95 from Session »

Classy is in Session. The Session Bong seeks to be your "beautiful, functional, and unapologetically simple" smoking companion. In other words, this is one classy water pipe. Session hopes it will also be the preferred...

Ghost Wire - Invisible Adhesive Speaker Wire

$29.95 - $109.95 from Amazon »

Ghost Wire looks like a roll of masking tape - and the adhesive speaker wire secures flat, and can be painted over like tape too - but contains lines of either 2 or 4 16 AWG Pure Copper Conductors along its white backing...

NamaMat Anti-Fatigue Rug

$69 - $99 from NamaMat »

Alright, NamaMat, you had me at a zillion gummy bears. According to this spiffed-up anti-fatigue mat's creators, the NamaMat "looks like an heirloom rug, wipes clean, and feels like you're standing on a zillion gummy...

FloorPops Peel & Stick Floor Tile

$7.61 - $17.99 from Amazon »

Peeling & sticking a hundred of these FloorPops adhesive tiles in perfect formation and alignment to your kitchen or bathroom floor might not sound like a very enticing Sunday DIY project, but...it sure beats gluing and...

TechDen Screen Time Manager & Charger

$199 from Amazon »

TechDen. What a euphemism, kids! More like TechJail. This little apparatus gives your parents a way to lock up your phones and tablets, or - another euphemism, per TechDen - "manage screen time with a physical home."...

RYOBI 18-Volt ONE+ Hybrid Battery/Electric Fan

$139 from Amazon »

No cord? The RYOBI 18-Volt ONE+ Hybrid Fan still blows. Up to 2,400 CFM. That's almost as hard as the news I just received that my in-laws will be joining She-Ra: Princess of Power and me for the last 5 days of our summer...

Swiveling Wall Charger

$25.99 from Amazon »

A simple USB wall charger simplifies your cords' access to it with a 180-degree swivel disc connected to its back prongs. The outlets can power up to 4 devices at once, and at any angle by rotating the strip's USB end...

Clean Puppy Candle

$11.99 from Amazon »

I can say one thing for clean puppies: the ladies love them. Even more than they love Cool James, I'll bet*. So while this Clean Puppy Candle hails from a place called the Stinky Candle Company, the 4-ounce tin of freshly-bathed...

Better Habitat SleepReady Memory Foam Floor Mattress

$159.95 from Amazon »

Better Habitat's SleepReady Memory Foam Floor Mattress is quite the dynamic crash pad. Thanks to its roll-up, portable design the 3"-thick slab o' sleepy time for overnight guests can just as easily slip inside your tent...

Viome at-Home Gut Microbiome Test

$314.41 from Amazon »

I'm not sure I really need a Viome at-Home Gut Microbiome Test to give me an "accurate gut analysis." I can pretty much look in the mirror and figure out the most important things about mine: it's a little too soft and...

Artificial Grass Interlocking Mats

$35.99 - $52.99 from Amazon »

If it looks like grass and grows like...uh...feels like...uh, well. These interlocking mats pretty much stop at looking like grass, but if your concrete jungle needs a lawn like mine does, they're realistic enough, plus...

3D Fruit & Vegetable Comforters

$30 - $54 from Amazon »

Banana comforter, lettuce quilt, potato blanket, cool. I'm down with the optical illusions imparted by most of this 3D fruit and vegetable bedding. But, uh, I think I'll pass on the papaya. Give that one to a horny teenager...

Please Leave by 9 Party Banner

$10.99 from Amazon »

A "Please Leave by 9" party banner seems a lot more fun 'n' festive than my current method of getting people out of my house at a reasonable hour. Which is to set a Volume 8 Alexa timer to yell, "Get out of my house...

Taco Bell Burrito Wrap Blanket

$40 from Taco Shop »

We've seen human burrito blankets before, but only of the more generic flour tortilla variety. Taco Bell has put their name on, and the wrap in, this burrito wrap blanket by designing it after their own burrito wrappers...

Gravity Cooling Weighted Blanket

$259 from Gravity »

Gravity Weighted Blankets were some of the first therapeutic sleep and anxiety comforters to gain national attention, and send weighted blankets into the mainstream, when they ran a Kickstarter campaign a couple of years...

Studenglass Gravity Pipe

$499 from Studenglass »

If nothing else, the Studenglass Gravity Pipe at least appears to have Seth Rogen's hack of approval. According to a video the actor posted on his Instagram account, hitting the bong produced a delightful 25-minute coughing...

Firevase - Flower Vase with Built-in Fire Extinguisher

Think a scorned woman led to the invention of the Firevase fire extinguisher? You brought me flowers to make up for cheating on me?! [Picks up vase and heaves it towards man. Vase crashes against wall, contents splay...

SureCan Bottom-Dispensing Gasoline Can

$37.46 from Amazon »

Are you yanking my pull start cord, SureCan? Don't tell me this is some sort of early April Fuel's joke. I've been waiting years for an innovation in gas cans!...

Panamalar Smart Space Heater

$49.99 from Amazon »

Oh I can hear my wife now: "Alexa! Turn on my Panamalar Smart Space Heater! Alexa! Hotter! Alexa! Hotter! Alexa! Please turn my home into an inferno!"...

The Shark Emojibator

$89 from Amazon »

Turn Shark Week into Shark Every Night of the Year with Emojibator's The Shark. A gift for your girlfriend right up there (er, no pun intended) with the original Eggplant Emojibator, but with a little something for the...

Dadi Kit - Mail-In Fertility Test & Sperm Storage

$99 from Dadi »

Who's your daddy? Not quite ready for a kid to point at you when someone asks that question...but still want to make sure all the swimmers are in peak form, trained and ready to take the starting blocks if you need some...

The Headache Hat

$39.99 from Amazon »

Ah, the Headache Hat. Here to ease the effects of my Saturday night, and block out the world from my Sunday morning. The self-described "ice halo" consists of 24 individually wrapped water cubes you ice out in the freezer...

MasonBrite LED Magnifying Mason Jar Lid

$29.99 from Amazon »

The MasonBrite lid is an airtight mason jar cover embedded with a trio of touch-activated LEDs and two magnifying glasses offering up 3X and 5X zoom-ins. It fits over any standard 86mm wide mouth mason jar. Why? Well...