Miscellaneous

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Ruggie Floor Mat Alarm Clock

$99 from Amazon »

They say Ruggie is "LOUD." In all caps. It's the equivalent of "a blender going off in your bedroom." Also, the floor mat alarm clock must sense the pressure of your feet for at least 3 seconds before it stops its LOUD...

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Black Tie Grinder

$50 from Amazon »

I might like to go to a Black Tie event as my gift for Valentine's Day this year after all. They got any with Girl Scout Cookies around the Northern Lights? Black Tie Grinders is an independent shop out of Ohio that feels...

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SnapPower Guidelight

$16.95 from Amazon »

The SnapPower Guidelight: saving half-asleep feet from always-on-point LEGOs night after night. A series of LED bulbs built into a standard outlet cover plate, the Guidelight draws power from both sides of your outlet's...

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Navage Nasal Irrigation System

$129.95 from Amazon »

If the Neti Pot sinus cleaner requires a little too much manual labor for your clogged-up head's liking, check out the Navage, a battery-operated automatic nasal irrigator. Instead of the Neti's gravity-conducted movement...

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Little Rooster Alarm Clock Vibrator

$99 from Amazon »

Oh (face) no, the rooster's crowing (buzzing) already?! Come (yes, please) on! Do I really have to get up (off)? I hear you, ladies. It's a brutal world of mornings, alarms, and orgasms we live in. I'll keep my fingers...

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PenSimple - The Ultimate Grinder

$69 from PenSimple »

PenSimple can't deliver a drop of ink to paper, but who cares? Once you use the portable herb grinder to dispense a round of green you're not going to have the focus or fine motor skills to write anything down anyway....

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Adorne Pop-Out Outlet

$39.99 from Amazon »

What is it they say, "Once you pop, you can't stop?" This Pop-Out Outlet from Legrand's Adorne collection is definitely the Pringles of the electrical fittings world. The hideaway outlet has plugs on 3 of its 4 cubical...

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The Ridge Slim Front Pocket Wallets

$45 - $105 from The Ridge »

Don't let overstuffed, bulging bi-folds infiltrate your pockets! Fight the Costanza Effect! Get on the Ridge! The Ridge slim front pocket wallets highlight 2 EDC must-haves, simplicity and compactness, across a line of...

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Hobo Bear

$25 from Amazon »

Beggars can't be choosers, but can they be your Valentine? Awwww, Hobo Bear. I bet my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, has many a spare hug for you. What's that? You'll take a fiver and a joint if she's got that...

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The Ring Pipe

$150 from Lindsey Hampton »

The Ring Pipe is like a unicorn poop poppy seed bagel that will get you high. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Lindsey Hampton hand-forms and fires each piece in stoneware and then finishes them in either a blue or pink ombre...

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Giani Countertop Paint Kits

$74.96 - $79.95 from Amazon »

I'm cool with Rolex knockoffs, dogs from the pound, and the drug store's brand of cough syrup if it means I save a wad of cash and still end up with a pretty decent watch / buddy / night's sleep. Why should faux granite...

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Evoke - Induction Powered Vaporizer

$399 from Evoke »

The story of an induction powered vaporizer: A fine-woods craftsman, an electrical engineer, and a super-conducting computing PhD physicist walk into a bar. The wood craftsman sits down and says, "Bartender, give me something...

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Saver Fire Safety Breathing System

$49 from Amazon »

I'm not showing you Safety iQ's Saver system to be an alarmist, but with all the chestnut roasting on an open fire going on this time of year it can't hurt to be prepared for the off chance one of them gets loose and...

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Menorah Bong

$699.99 from 420 Science »

420 Science breaks it out only once a year, so if a 14" long, 8-bowled glass Grav Labs Menorah bong is what you've been foregoing 20 sacks and Gordita Supremes for since May, here's your chance to turn your pipe dream...

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ViperSwiper Side Window Wiper

$19.99 from ViperSwiper »

Your car comes ready to sssswipe the rain and fog off your front windshield, game to sssswipe it off the back, but what about the vissssibility and blind sssspots at your ssssides? ViperSwipers are poly-rubber strip side...

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Fin Finger Vibrator (NSFW)

$60 from Dame Products »

While we've seen sexy fun time items such as PLAISIR des SENS warming lube running crowdfunding campaigns on IndieGoGo, the Fin marks the very first campaign of such a blatant naughty nature to seek pledges from you and...

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Antec Nano Diamond Thermal Compound

$11.87 from Amazon »

Need an ice cold beer for your CPU? I myself don't have much need to minimize the distance between heat-conducive compounds using Antec's Nano Diamond Thermal Compound Formula 7 because I'm not a tech or a maker or a...

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Sherlock Holmes Vaporizer Pipe

You may consider the Holmes Pipe, a vaporizer twist on Detective Sherlock Holmes' iconic tobacco pipe, a sacrilege. A perversion of purity akin to turning the Houston football stadium into a Death Star for Super Bowl...

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11-Foot Teddy Bear

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you plan to buy an 11-Foot Teddy Bear as a gift for your kid, or gift for your girlfriend this season, I hope you have an 11-Foot closet...or off-site storage facility to hide him in until the big day. Better lock...

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ManBuckets

$42.99 - $89.99 from Amazon »

Mmmm. Munching on some spicy coated peas from my Sir Racha ManBucket to kick off Saturday morning. To be followed immediately, or whenever my girlfriend says it's ready, by a bacon, mushroom & cheddar frittata drizzled...

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Water Bhomb Pipe

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Don't let Mario or Luigi near the pipe! It'll blow them up! They might be plumbers, and this pipe might be called a Water Bhomb, but my experience with the situation goes all the way back to 1989. My mama's basement....

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Sleep Yoga Posture Pillows

$54.90 - $74.24 from Amazon »

To me, yoga at its finest means Savasana. Corpse pose. Lie there in a hot room on a cold day and think of nothing but your deep inhale [belly rise] and deep exhale [belly fall]. With maybe a thought or two spared for...

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DeLonghi Mica Panel Heater

$77.99 from Amazon »

My girlfriend wants to install this Mica Panel Heater next to her face on the bedroom wall. I've never known a girl who's so cold all the time. Except my ex-girlfriend, Karen. But I always thought that was because the...

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Muzo - Personal Zone Creator & Noise Blocker

$159 from indiegogo »

Muzo uses anti-vibration technology to turn the world off. (Makes sense, given the number of other devices that use pro-vibration technology to turn the world on--VibeRider, anyone?) At approximately the size and shape...

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Quell - Wearable Pain Relief

$320 from Amazon »

I wonder if Quell would help the pain in my ass. No, I really have one. On the bottom of my left butt cheek when I sit for too long, kind of right where it...yeah, yeah, don't think you're the first to say that. People...

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Kwan Loong Pain Relief Oil

$8.04 from Amazon »

No snake oil here. Just a 2-ounce bottle of pain-relieving, muscle-soothing, but-admittedly-funky-smelling Kwan Loong. I first experienced Kwan Loong Oil administered by the disturbingly powerful hands of a massage therapist...

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The Emojibator (NSFW)

$32 from Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...

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The Cover Clamp - Cover-Hog Combatant

$19.99 from Cover Clamp »

If you won't fly without the Knee Defender or park without DrivewaySpikes, then you best not share a bed with a cover hog anymore without the Cover Clamp. The Cover Clamp secures sheets and comforters in place on the...

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Camp Chef Indoor/Outdoor Movie Screen

$219.99 from Amazon »

One thing that makes escaping the city, unplugging, and vegging out amidst the beatific peace and quiet of nature is a pocket-sized projector. A few flicks from your favorite torrent site. Oooh, maybe some surround-sound...

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The Kashtray

$18.95 from Amazon »

The makers of this pipe smoker's ashtray say it was "inspired by necessity and enhanced through design." The inspiring mother they speak of is a pipe, used, cleaned, and ready for a refill. The invention she bore: the...

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Pillo Home Health Robot

$349 - $499 from Pillo Health »

Pillo. In a way it's like a head support to help the health-obsessed and hypochondriacs rest easy. More literally, Pillo is a desktop robot for the home you can task with managing and complementing your wellness. Pillo...

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Geeky Sex Toys (NSFW)

$25 - $199 from Etsy »

Now that Pokemon have made you Go, Geeky Sex Toys thinks it's time you catch some that will make you Come. Yep, the enterprising Australian adult shop went there, and now has a (limited edition) set of Pokemoan dildos...

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Pokemon Pokeball Herb Grinder

$7.95 from Amazon »

Time to grind me some Pokemon! What, no? That's not how the game works? Then what am I supposed to do with this Pokeball Grinder?...

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Dragon's Blood Medicinal Tree Sap

$10.95 from Amazon »

The Croton lechleri bleeds to save you from cuts, bacteria, acne, wrinkles, and receding gums. At least if you believe the loooong list of indications that come with each bottle of Dragon's Blood. Dragon's Blood is a...

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Dual Head Car Fan

$50 from Amazon »

Yeah, yeah, I know most cars have air conditioning now. The 2-headed car fan isn't meant to be a substitute for AC, but an accessory to it. An extra set of blades that will help blow hot air out of your parked car fast...

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Zapplight Bulb & Bug Zapper

Sold Out from Amazon »

Let there be...BZZZZ! Dead mosquitos! Haha, suckers. You biting, blood-sucking, skin-disfiguring, Zika-transmitting SOBs. Fly into my pretty, pretty light. Because now the one that illuminates my back porch, my books...

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Six Shooter Smoking Pipe & Grinder

$10.89 from Amazon »

Lock, stock, and a smoking barrel. I'm all in. This rotating six shooter pipe comes with both an herb grinder and a pollen and storage can. You can keep it on display in your recreational activity room and use it to smoke...

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Paco's Taco Stroker

Sold Out from Amazon »

At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$119 - $129 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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BloodStop Hemostatic Gauze

$16.99 from Amazon »

"I dare you." "Hey dude, watch this." "Wanna try to make some money on YouTube?" These are just a few of the calling cards leading to one's introduction to BloodStop, a hemostatic gauze that adheres to spewing wounds...

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Indoor/Outdoor Wi-Fi Enabled Ceiling Fan

$600 from Amazon »

A heavy breeze with a side of efficiency. The Haiku L Series ceiling fan suits seekers of airflow indoors and out, as well as both the remote control faithfuls and the app-happy who can't put their smartphones down for...

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Fleshlight's Sleeve Warmer (NSFW)

Sold Out from Amazon »

Wait, so there's an alternative to just blowing in it first? This cutting-edge piece of technology from Fleshlight may look like a sex toy for your girlfriend, but it's actually a pleasure enhancement tool for you. The...

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The Royal Purple No-Pressure Seat Cushion

$79.99 from Amazon »

Check out this video of a dude sitting on an egg without breaking it. It's Purple's most viral-icious way of depicting their seat cushions' #1 selling point: put your butt on a Purple and you'll feel like you're sitting...

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Neti Pot Sinus Cleaner

$11.43 from Amazon »

The first time someone told me about Neti Pots I thought they sounded like some new age hippie yoga naturopath weirdness. And also kind of gross. Seeing a Neti Pot in person only solidified this belief. Then I tried one....

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Ambi Climate Smart AC Control

$179 from Amazon »

Ambi Climate is kind of like the Nest thermostat, but pinpointed to your air conditioning unit. The smart hub connects via WiFi to any remote-controlled AC, tapping into its infrared signal to "talk" to the device. From...

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The Atomic Grinder

$24.99 from Amazon »

You know why they made the Atomic Grinder. So you can tell everyone your herbs are the bomb. Modeled after the Mark VI nuclear bomb, this dry goods pulverizer is made of zinc alloy, and comes in your choice of shiny gold...

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The EarPopper

$169.95 from Amazon »

As much as it pains me to see any child under the age of 18 board the plane I'm on, I do feel bad for the ones who scream the whole 4-hour flight because they can't clear their ears and feel like their brains are going...

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Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever

$14.99 from Amazon »

Windi the Gaspasser is one of those WTF products I as a childless dude saw and immediately thought was, in this order: a funny joke; a disgusting not-joke; a sad reality. You basically stick this little (un)plug in your...