Miscellaneous

Java Log - Recycled Coffee Grounds Fire Logs

$24.99 from Amazon »

Nothing beats the smell of fresh coffee brewing in the morning. Except, perhaps, recycled coffee grounds burning in the evening. Java Logs are eco-friendly fire logs made from recycled coffee grounds. The logs' green...

Navien Mate Water-Powered Bed Warmer

$449 - $479 from Amazon »

Navien Mate endeavors to keep you toasty and cozy this winter by way of water rather than EMF waves. The bed-warming mattress topper uses hydronic rather electrical technology to send and circulate heat safely through...

Honeywell Turbo Force Heater

$59.99 from Amazon »

A Turbo Force of heat. My wife's gonna like the sound of that little superpower Honeywell claims to have built into their new space heater. Powerful at 1500 watts, and portable enough to move one-handed from room to room...

Personalized Fart-Thwarting Candles

$25 from Etsy »

A personalized fart-thwarting candle. I know one household who needs this burning good scent blanket for the vile and death-dealing ones. Mine...

Animal Body Pillows

$21.53 - $135.99 from Amazon »

Who's gonna rock you when the sun won't let you sleep? It ain't me, and I'm pretty sure it ain't Selena Gomez. But it could be a Nemu Nemu Animal Body Pillow, a series of oversized, adorable, and often smoosh-faced furry...

Skull & Bones Fire Pit & Fireplace Logs

$54.99 from Amazon »

Halloween spirit for your fire pit and fireplace strikes again. These most excellent Skull & Bones fire pit and fireplace logs are my 2019 choice for flaming fun at your parties and throughout the spooky season...

Cute Little Fu*kers Sex Toys

I didn't mark the Cute Little Fu*kers Sex Toys as NSFW, because the gender-inclusive vibrators actually are suitable for viewing at work*. That was one of Cute Little Fu*kers master(bating)mind Step Tranovich's design...

KATCHY Indoor Insect Trap

$39.79 from Amazon »

KATCHY name you got there, indoor bug trap. Here's hoping you can live up to it stationed next to my fruit fly incubator - aka the compost bag...

DIY Vasectomy Kit

$12.99 from Amazon »

Sweet! This DIY Vasectomy Kit should save me hundreds of dollars. Plus, the projected recovery time is a couple days longer - more if my wife screws up - so I'll be able to take off the whole first week of the NCAA tournament...

Slow Rebound Lovers' Pillow

$13.32 from Amazon »

"Slow Rebound Lovers' Pillow." It sounds like a next-gen Liberator Wedge. Or some sort of consolation companion for the broken-hearted? But seeing the pillow for what it really is makes sense too: a domed memory foam...

St. Joseph Home Sale Kit

$3.59 from Amazon »

I'm not Catholic, and mean no disrespect, but what the Coldwell Banker is a St. Joseph Home Sale Kit? Is this for real? Do people who bury a wee little statue of St. Joseph in their yard really sell their house faster...

Dormeo Octaspring Mattress Topper

$359.99 - $599.99 from Amazon »

Being just another cog Octaspring in the machine might be inglorious work from an enterprising 8-sided foam spring's perspective, but from an enterprising mattress company like Dormeo's, the collective effort of their...

Udon for Sleeping Noodles Blanket

Who don wack out my udon? Welp, guess if I can't stuff it in my face, the next best option would be to entwine my limbs in it and cuddle up for a good night's sleep...

Peelaways Disposable Fitted Bed Sheets

$12.99 - $39.95 from Amazon »

I don't necessarily think Peelaways created their disposable fitted bed sheets for promiscuous and routinely intoxicated boys and girls - ahem, college students - but with back to school time coming up, that's definitely...

Zodiac Sign Scented Candles

$29.99 from Amazon »

Need a gift for your girlfriend? These Zodiac Scented Candles are a sign! From Brands Banned, the aromatic wax mood setters come in sodie-can-style glass jars, with astrological sign insights printed as if they were nutritional...

LoveBalls Hot Water Bottle

$13.99 from Amazon »

Sore legs? Achy back? Feeling butt hurt? Just LoveBalls? LoveBalls hot water bottle to the rescue! Plop these balls down on your tired and tender bits and let them love away the pain. LoveBalls even come with a blue jeans...

Session Bong

$95 from Session »

Classy is in Session. The Session Bong seeks to be your "beautiful, functional, and unapologetically simple" smoking companion. In other words, this is one classy water pipe. Session hopes it will also be the preferred...

Ghost Wire - Invisible Adhesive Speaker Wire

$29.95 - $109.95 from Amazon »

Ghost Wire looks like a roll of masking tape - and the adhesive speaker wire secures flat, and can be painted over like tape too - but contains lines of either 2 or 4 16 AWG Pure Copper Conductors along its white backing...

NamaMat Anti-Fatigue Rug

$69 - $99 from NamaMat »

Alright, NamaMat, you had me at a zillion gummy bears. According to this spiffed-up anti-fatigue mat's creators, the NamaMat "looks like an heirloom rug, wipes clean, and feels like you're standing on a zillion gummy...

FloorPops Peel & Stick Floor Tile

$7.61 - $17.99 from Amazon »

Peeling & sticking a hundred of these FloorPops adhesive tiles in perfect formation and alignment to your kitchen or bathroom floor might not sound like a very enticing Sunday DIY project, but...it sure beats gluing and...

TechDen Screen Time Manager & Charger

Sold Out from Amazon »

TechDen. What a euphemism, kids! More like TechJail. This little apparatus gives your parents a way to lock up your phones and tablets, or - another euphemism, per TechDen - "manage screen time with a physical home."...

RYOBI 18-Volt ONE+ Hybrid Battery/Electric Fan

$139 from Amazon »

No cord? The RYOBI 18-Volt ONE+ Hybrid Fan still blows. Up to 2,400 CFM. That's almost as hard as the news I just received that my in-laws will be joining She-Ra: Princess of Power and me for the last 5 days of our summer...

Swiveling Wall Charger

$19.99 from Amazon »

A simple USB wall charger simplifies your cords' access to it with a 180-degree swivel disc connected to its back prongs. The outlets can power up to 4 devices at once, and at any angle by rotating the strip's USB end...

Clean Puppy Candle

$11.99 from Amazon »

I can say one thing for clean puppies: the ladies love them. Even more than they love Cool James, I'll bet*. So while this Clean Puppy Candle hails from a place called the Stinky Candle Company, the 4-ounce tin of freshly-bathed...