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Han Solo in Carbonite Switch Plate

By: on June 04, 2013
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Uh, this one's for the ladies? When the toggle on the Han Solo in Carbonite switch plate is turned on, there will be no doubt Han Solo in Carbonite is turned on. I'm not sure how men--even the most devoted of Star Wars fans--will feel about arousing yesteryear Harrison Ford each time they enter the bedroom or illuminate the front entry vestibule, but to all women who support the Rebel Alliance, don't you agree that Han deserves some stimulation in his frozen state? It may be the only thing that keeps him sane. Particularly if the hand tasked with switch manipulation is attached to this girl.

Created by Wicked Studio, the Han Solo in Carbonite switch plate was hand-sculpted to "an appropriate scale for the switch." I think also to an appropriate scale for Harrison Ford's dong. Come on, the guy played Han, Indiana Jones, and Jack Ryan. You really think he's packing anything smaller than a blaster?

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Fidget Cube Desk Toy

$25 from Antsy Labs »

Whether it's the caffeine jitters, public speaking anxiety, or ants in your pants, those of us who aren't trained professionals in smoothness like James Bond and Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love will probably feel...

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Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie

$108.99 from Amazon »

Life has been very difficult for some since the Mark Ecko reversible Chewbacca hoodie sold out. It was pretty much the Star Wars garment to end all Star Wars garments. But I like this new alternative alright too. Maybe...

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

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Millennium Falcon Blueprint LED Lamp

$49.95 from Amazon »

Have you been searching for the perfect blueprint light? Me too. And wow. This 16-color LED desk lamp went with the Millennium Falcon as its subject! I thought I was going to be stuck with, like, the White House or some...

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Millennium Falcon Quadcopter

$69.48 from Amazon »

Air Hogs' Millennium Falcon Quad is recommended for ages 8 and up. Huh. I'm not sure if it makes me feel youthful or really uncomfortable that I'm sitting here right now coveting a toy made for an 8-year-old....

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Han Solo DL-44 Blaster Flask Prototype

Han shot first. Then Luke threw back 16. Soon you'll be able to do the same. Maybe. if Industries has developed this prototype for a DL-44 Blaster Flask, which might turn into a full-on BlasTech Industries-scale production...

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Light Side / Dark Side Switch Plate Cover

$20 from Amazon »

Forget the moral conundrum, jumping between the Light Side and the Dark Side should be like flipping a switch. Luke's making pumpkin spice muffins? Click. Light's on. The Force is with me. It's pulling me out of bed and...

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Han Solo Ice Cube Tray

Sold Out from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in...

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Star Wars Spandex

$123 - $134 from Black Milk Clothing »

I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed...

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Han Solo in Carbonite Rug

$49.99 - $69.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure it's a cool novelty item to have in your family room or front entryway, plus embodies that which brings you the greatest joy in life (Star Wars), but do you really want to be the type of person who keeps Han Solo...

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Star Wars Shooting Targets

Discontinued

Apparently, we're allowed to take aim only at the Dark Side. Sneaky Studios didn't design any of their Star Wars shooting targets with Luke or Han or Yoda behind the bullseye, which in a way cuts out an entire buyer demographic...

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Han Solo in Carbonite Shower Curtain

$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

Welp, depending on who's in the shower, Han Solo might not mind that he's now stuck in both Carbonite and a shower curtain. I mean, I'm sure he's gotten pretty sick of looking at naked Leia over the past 30 years, but...