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Wednesday, April 16, 2014
$200 from SUCK UK »

I think someone should make a globe out of bubble wrap so that every time I visit a different country I can gratifyingly pop it off the world. Get to work on that, someone, will you? And in the interim, I guess this cork globe...

Friday, September 6, 2013
$79 - $94 from GNR 8 »

Tempo Drop is a stylized version of storm glass. Or if, like me, you don't know what the Orville Redenbacher a storm glass is either, then the Tempo Drop is a stylized weather forecaster. The sealed glass container holds a...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
$42 - $49 from Amazon »

I see how the ease of just tossing a blaring alarm clock on its head to turn it off could be very dangerous for some people. If you don't have to work for the deactivation--dig for a minuscule button, chase a rolling or flying clock around your room, complete a 6th-grade-level math problem--you're back to REM stage and the kids are hitching a ride to school....

Wednesday, October 23, 2013
$29.95 from Etsy »

A short while ago, we showed you these interactive ferrofluid sculptures. They're fancy. In the sense of the word that indicates ownership will cost hundreds of dollars. So now, in deference to our readers who possess a prudent...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$210 - $395 from PJ Reefs »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral...

Friday, July 29, 2011
$55.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them, set them on your desk, and enjoy staring at them while they do nothing other than remain loyal to the eyes that watch them. A real crowd-pleaser too....

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
$18.95 from Zazzle »

Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option...

Monday, June 17, 2013
$199 - $499 from Ferrite »

In researching all of the uses for Interactive Ferrofluid Sculptures, I found myself continuously returning to one standout: time waster. The hypnotizing borosilicate glass vials filled with mutable elemental amoebas will...

Monday, April 1, 2013
$579 from Matterform »

Matterform's Photon caters to people who want to get in on the 3D printing action, but have no existing computer modeling skills, and no desire to acquire any. A desktop-sized 3D scanner, the Photon will convert any physical...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$18.37 from Amazon »

Sometimes an alarm just isn't enough. It's too easy to press snooze and get another 10 minutes in. Before you know it, you're late. Here's your solution....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
$29.95 from Etsy »

This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the month...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$48.95 - $99.95 from FlipBooKit »

Is it just me, or does anyone else hear the word "flip" and immediately feel their middle finger raise or eyes scan the room for a red Solo cup? I know the reaction is uncouth, but the uncouthery isn't really attributable...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$8.57 from Amazon »

While pencil tapping is irritating and often makes people want to break the offender's writing utensil and chuck it across the room, pencil drumming is a crowd pleaser, and should make them want to gather 'round and throw...

Saturday, October 6, 2012
Discontinued

Maybe the wise old steampunk MechOwlies can tell me why. Tell me why ain't nothin' but a heartache. Tell me why ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why I never wanna hear you say I want it that way. Or at least whether or...

Monday, September 30, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Lexon's Around Clock works kind of like Planet Earth. Or a revolving restaurant. Instead of a hand circling a face twice a day, this timepiece's cylindrical face slowly moves around its stationary red hand. That's nice because...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012
$29.99 from Lighter USB »

Jigger, the USB-charged cigarette lighter. Nice concept, but cigarettes? Cigarettes?! How will I light my Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit? How am I supposed to light my Kraken pipe? How I'm gonna light my Menagerie of Mechanized...

Sunday, August 5, 2012
Discontinued

Open your mind, Quaid, and tell me which is creepier: Kuato or the Cigaratt who's stomach he's jutting out from. Artist Cig Neutron combines 80s campiness with 50s sci-fi with Total Recall in this figurine spin on...well...

Monday, July 30, 2012
$400 from Grey Area »

Grab your profundity caps, because multi-media artist Ted Riederer's custom-made Vinyl Record Skulls reflect more than just another opulent expression of punk rock. Their inspiration stems from an essay by Rainer Maria Rilke...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$369 from Etsy »

Industrial style desk lamp made from galvanized cast iron piping. This is a masculine piece of lamp that will tell your visitors that you ain't messin' around while you sit at your quaint little desk and read celebrity gossip...

Wednesday, August 1, 2012
$39.29 from Firebox.com »

As every girl under the age of 30 I've eavesdropped on at the hair salon* would say: O...M...G. Maybe the only thing better than dreaming about Tetrimino rods and cubes and guns cascading down into masses of perfectly amassed...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
$200 from Exhibition A »

Chinese artist and political activist Ai Weiwei flips the bird not to you and me (though he might if he knew us, 'ey?) but to public monuments. The White House. Tiananmen Square. King's Landing. In 2011, the Chinese government...

Thursday, April 26, 2012
$150 from Etsy »

What a nice metaphor for the state of my finances. So, what, the Titanic Piggy Bank is going the Grandma route, and employing guilt to exact fiscal responsibility and discipline? Well, after 20+ years of reckless spending...

Monday, October 10, 2011
$25 from Wishing Fish »

Get your tape from the mouth of a little guy. No big deal. Use his toes to get a perfect tear at the end. Don't you hate it if there isn't a perfect tear at the end? Also, how many times have you cut your finger on that sharp...

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