Desktop

The Lost Atlantis Sea Monster Desk Light

$88 from Etsy »

The Lost Atlantis desk light enshrouds legend, mystery, and a creepy sea monster that isn't Cthulhu or the Kraken in a 5cm cube ready to deck out your desktop...

ITO Thread of Fate Japanese Compass

Yeah, I wondered the same thing. When you're done using this handsome ITO Japanese Compass to draw some perfect circles, can you use it to perfect your walk the dog and sleeper yo-yo tricks? Let's see...string...pencil...locking...

CRKT Techliner Everyday Carry Pen

$38.27 from Amazon »

In writing about their Techliner everyday carry pen, CRKT notes, "Your job's too important for a drugstore pen." I'd also add, "And blech. Who wants to touch a drugstore pen anymore anyway?"...

80s Super Tape Notebook

$9.99 from Denik »

Oh did my mama have a whole library of VHS cassettes that looked just like the one parodied in Denik's 80s Super Tape Notebook. I think Sony was behind this particular brand packaging, and the VCR-ready footage our house's...

Impossible Table - Desktop Tensegrity Demonstration

$38 - $74 from Kickstarter »

The Impossible Table is a desktop toy that defies the laws of physics! No wait, I mean the Impossible Table is a desktop toy that complies with the laws of physics! Specifically, the laws that apply to the tensegrity*...

Concrete Desk Organizer

$19.99 from Amazon »

It's 10 inches long and strong. Oh, and by complete happenstance, this Concrete Desk Organizer is too. The hefty holder has a mostly stark, industrial aesthetic, with a softening sine wave flourish on its business (card)...

Gingko Octagon One LED Desk Lamp

$72.24 from Amazon »

Get into the Octagon without getting bludgeoned and bruised up, or being stuck for the rest of your life with UFC ears. The Gingko Octagon One is a modern LED desk lamp whose swanky geometric shape is further enhanced...

Torpedo GB Pens

$880 - $1,880 from Gessato »

Torpedo GB Pens have one thing to say: Ready! Aim! Fire!...off a note letting your wife know you ate all the rest of the chicken parm. Sorry, She-Ra. :( :( Or maybe it's a letter of complaint to the last airline you flew...

First World Problems Pencils

Sold Out from Amazon »

Hey First World Problems, shouldn't your box read "Standard No. 1 Pencils"? Or maybe, "Standard No. 2 (Is Just Fine Because I Tried My Best and Haven't Had My Triple Nonfat No-Foam Latte Yet Today) Pencils"? Or how about...

iBot G3

$39 from Classicbot »

Ergonomic nightmare of a round mouse included! The iBot G3 is a sweet little desktop toy and tribute to Apple's iMac G3 from Classsicbot, a brand devoted to "classic computer designs and geek culture." It arrives on the...

Why I Must Have Sex with You Checklist

$16.99 from Amazon »

Hmmm. Not sure if a Why I Must Have Sex with You Checklist clears the meter o' political correctness these days, especially since it's presented as a notepad that would sit perfectly on one's desk at the office. The requests...

Gold Bar Noteblock

You struck gold! It's a note reminding you to fold the laundry - mow the lawn - empty the rat trap. The Gold Bar Noteblock contains over $300 worth of gold-dipped leaves for leaving chore reminders that will help lessen...

Books from The Simpsons Notebooks

$6.37 - $25.47 from Best Play Ever »

Nope, not more books about The Simpsons, books from The Simpsons. Unfortunately - or maybe it's better this way - Best Play Ever did not try to write all twenty-some-odd of these books that have appeared over the years...

Gluteus Maximus Sticky Notes

$12.49 from Amazon »

Obviously the best thing to write on a Gluteus Maximus Sticky Note is "Nice ass." A gift for your girlfriend. Or maybe, "I'm a giant ass" for your boss. Or, for your father-in-law, "This is where I'm tight." And for your...

Midori Desk Mini Cleaner

$15 from Amazon »

Cleaning punched paper and sandwich crumbs and chewed-up fingernails off your desktop has never been so fun! Midori dares you to behold its mini toy truck cleaning up trash and debris from your work surface and not say...

OCti-C Cannon Pen

$50 - $65 from Kickstarter »

The OCti-C Cannon Pen won't be the projectile launcher that helps you declare desktop warfare, but it will sit poised and at the ready on your office or home desktop, just waiting for someone to ask what you want from...

MOVA Green-Powered Rotating Globe Cube

Sold Out from Amazon »

MOVA Globe Cubes are MOVA's next iteration of their battery-, wire-, and cord-free rotating globe concept. The original MOVA Globes rotate within clear acrylic globes set on top of stylized pedestals. MOVA Globe Cubes...

Offencils Profanity Pencils (NSFW)

$16.99 from Amazon »

Offencils profanity pencils are like the Daniel Tosh of insulting writing tools. They say it, they own it, and if you're offended, well...you're probably a scat-sucking twat face anyway. And, also like Tosh, if you can...

Aerospace Grade Oligodynamic Copper Mega Sphere

Discontinued

The Aerospace Grade Oligodynamic Copper Mega Sphere! It's your new secret weapon, shined up all bright like a retina-damaging laser, and ready to take over the world of sick office decor! Display it on your desktop, right...

The Dude Abiding Kit

$135 from Etsy »

Dudes who want to show off the Dude Abiding on their desktop must abide themselves by assembling the Dude Abiding garage kit...

Vortex Dome Rheoscopic Fluid Desk Toy

Sold Out from Etsy »

The Vortex Dome is a science-packed desk toy that does for you eyes what fidget toys do for your hands. With a stainless steel and ball bearing spinning base, the Vortex Dome gets a little tactile stimulation in there...

Mini Cargo Crate Containers

Sold Out from Amazon »

And if you keep giving me the side-eye, scissors, I'm boxing up that cargo crate you live in and shipping you off to Abu Dhabi!...

Spartan Warrior Desktop Accessory

Sold Out from Amazon »

Not real sure what you'd need a mini Spartan warrior spear at your desk for - toothpick? - but the hoplite desktop accessory's other tool, a battle sword, is primed for all your letter opening offenses...

Eiffel Tower Hidden Knife

$18.95 from Amazon »

I can't take credit for coming up with the nickname, but think of this Eiffel Tower desktop display piece as your Kneiffel Tower. Because at the ready inside the formidable 15-1/2" landmark stands an 8-1/2" hidden knife!...