Desktop

Vornado VFAN Jr. Vintage Air Circulator

$59.99 - $84.99 from Amazon »

Yep, in case you're wondering, there's a VFAN Sr. too. And both of them are blow hards. Like father, like son....

Pop-Up Kitchen & Desktop Outlets

$38.50 from Amazon »

So rarely when I have a problem--say, needing an extra electrical outlet--does the solution just pop up out of nowhere. But oh boy could I make that happen all the time with this set of countertop-embedded sockets....

Motorcycle Chain Ashtray

$7.96 from Amazon »

For those who still haven't secured a Father's Day Gift yet, this Motorcycle Chain Ashtray and Amazon Prime shipping could be the last lifeline between you and having to leave the house and go to a store in person to...

Tungsten Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

I'd call the Tungsten Sphere a desktop toy, but given its high density--at just about 2" in diameter the sphere weighs over 3 pounds--I'm not sure how much fiddling or stress-relieving palm rolls you'll be able to do...

A Hole Paperweight

Happy Father's Day, old man. Remember all those times you told me how when you found out Mom was pregnant with me you said you needed another kid like you needed a hole in the head? And then after I was born, and as I...

Q*Bert Desk Organizer

Oh @!#?@! Where'd I put my pen? Did I lose those scissors again? Dave Delisle, whose THOR Hammer Tool Kit you just saw here, has also birthed this Q*Bert Desk Organizer brainchild....

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POLAR Modular Magnet Pen 2.0

$44 from Polar Pen »

POLAR debuted 2-1/2 years ago as a pen that can do your writing when it's time to TCB and then serve as an accomplice to your goofing off when it's time to TCB, but you really don't feel like it. The modular pen consists...

Gun Cylinder Pen Holder

$19.99 from Amazon »

Father's is right around the corner! March 27. This year, make sure you get Dad something he--what's up? Oh. Really, March 27 is Easter, not Father's Day. Huh....

USB-Powered Pac-Man Ghost Light

$20.95 from Amazon »

A Pac-Man Ghost wouldn't be my first choice for a night light. Isn't the whole point of a night light to ward off ghosts? Make you less afraid of them? Not to mention that Pac-Man Ghosts in particular have a decades-long...

Luxury Star Wars Pens

$2,070 - $24,500 from Wheelers »

I never understood why anyone would pay thousands of dollars for a fountain pen. But ST Dupont has created a series of them honoring Star Wars, including a Tie-Fighter, an X-Wing, and two extra super special Darth Vader...

Ultrasonic Essential Oil Diffuser

$69.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, the pleasing fragrance and relaxing mist of essential oils aromatherapied into the air through a mood-lit ultrasonic diffuser. Another gift for the ladies, right? Not that you'll mind too much when she flicks on...

Black Retro Nixie Clock

$299 from Amazon »

Thirty-year-old nixie tubes and 22 hours of handiwork go into these retro clocks from Nuvitron. The artisans who make them place authentic, Cold-War-era nixie tubes hauled back from a dusty basement in the former Soviet...

Solid Brass Paperweight & Top

It's a paperweight. With a top inside. That might give you some pretty trippy dreams starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Use the paperweight element of J.L. Lawson & Co.'s design to squash your flyaway papers under 14.6 ounces...

Iron Man 2 Swinging Sticks Kinetic Energy Sculpture

$289 from Amazon »

Even Tony Stark can't concentrate on anything else in the presence of the mesmerizing Swinging Sticks Kinetic Energy Sculpture. Not that Pepper's that interesting anyway. I'd probably be distracted by steam rising off...

The Office Spartan

$39 - $56 from Missing Digit »

If you aren't into chopping and dicing, but find yourself using a pencil every now and then, you can still incorporate an ornamental piece of Sparta into your life. Missing Digit previously blessed us with the Sparta...

Magnetic - Statically Charged Sticky Notes

$7 - $67 from Tesla Amazing »

OK, Magnetic, you win. The coolest new product I've seen all year. Created by appropriately titled Tesla Amazing, Magnetic is a line of notes, pads, boards, and sheets that act like sticky notes without the gummy, lint-collecting...

Animal Paper Clips

$7.09 - $16.04 from Amazon »

Midori makes over two dozen different animals ready to hold the wayward strands of your life together. At least the parts of it that are on paper. The company's animal D-Clips are the most precious paper clips I've ever...

Handmade Wood & Aluminum USB Charger

Sold Out from Amazon »

BREAKING NEWS: Boutique Design Meets Charging Powerhouse! Also, Thundersnow! in Boston! Dude, this weekend just keeps getting trippier. First all the dead flowers and rotting meat I got from my ex for Valentine's Day...

Dragon Stapler

$21.42 from Amazon »

No fire or dagger tail, but this dragon's got teeth that will bind your paper together forever! Muahahaha! He'll also staple your finger if you're not careful. Speaking of which, in junior high my friend Cornelius used...

OxyLED Eye Care Desk Lamp

Sold Out from Amazon »

L-E-Ds that don't make you want to crawl under your desk and take an N-A-P. (The OxyLED desk lamp will leave that to conference calls and the Ben Stein you've scored as a boss.) This ultra-low voltage and low temp light...

Unicorn in a Narwhal Sculpture

$1,500 from Kozyndan »

Holy crap, it's fantastical beast overload! It almost hurts to look at it, it's so stirring and extraordinary. And, according to the unicornarwhal sculpture's creators, it also explains a lot. How can a whale with a ginormous...

Awaglass Soap Bubble Timer

$12.98 from Amazon »

Here at last to keep track of your 60-second increments of time: soapy water. Fill the Awaglass bubble timer with H2O and dish soap, shake it up, and marvel at the brilliant mind of a Japanese dude with so much time on...

UZI Defender Tactical Pen

Sold Out from Amazon »

UZI incorporates a few different tools into its Defender line of pens to award them the "tactical" buzzword. This version, the TACPEN6-GM has a glass breaker and handcuff key fitted to its lightweight aircraft aluminum...

Real Glowing Jellyfish Sculptures

Discontinued

Sealife Creations turns deceased jellyfish--the second most common creature on earth next to insects, they say--into handmade sculpted works of art for the desktop. Most of the oval encasements range from 4" to 7" tall...

Airso 10" Bladeless Table Fan

$149.99 from Amazon »

It's bladeless, it's oscillating, it's kinda cool-looking, but, no. It's not a Dyson. Then again, look at the Airso 10" table fan's price tag. Also not a Dyson....

Starfleet Machine Clock

$30,750 from MB&F »

According to Swiss engineering lab MB&F, the "Starfleet Machine is an intergalactic spaceship-cum-table clock." Man. I write countless strange, hyperbolic, and often idiotic descriptions of products every single day yet...

Sun-and-Earth-Powered Globes

$144.99 - $499.99 from Amazon »

MOVA Globes are nothing if not resourceful. The striking pieces of planetary art not only silently rotate and glisten all the livelong day, but they do it without the use of power cords or batteries. This cosmic event...

Pyropet Cat Candle

$33.73 from Amazon »

As if cats, and particularly cats that have been lit on fire, aren't scary enough. Now Thorunn Arnadottir had to go and make one that also slowly melts down to a sinister skeleton as the flames eat away its flesh. I don't...

Ferrofluid Bolt Kit

$43.95 from Amazon »

Grow your own ferrofluid Chia Pet. The Ferrofluid Bolt Kit comes with all of the components you'll need to sprout field spikes from a set of everyday fastening tools. And you won't even have to provide regular waterings...

Magnetic Sand Hourglass

$9.43 from Amazon »

Looks like Wooly Willy is a new daddy. They told him this would happen if he didn't stay away from that sexy hourglass at the front desk. Now he's got at least 18 years of minding his little iron fillings in 60-second...

Skull Stands

$78 - $298 from 400oz »

Though these skull stands from Detroit-based 400oz. are made only of high grade resin, they sure get the wheels turning, don't they? Like, why not preserve Uncle Joe's memory by converting him into something more useful...

Infinite Dungeon Corridor

$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Infinite Dungeon Corridor. Enter at your own risk...and inevitable peril. Ow! I think I jammed my finger on a mirror!...

Cork Globe

$200 from SUCK UK »

I think someone should make a globe out of bubble wrap so that every time I visit a different country I can gratifyingly pop it off the world. Get to work on that, someone, will you? And in the interim, I guess this cork...

Flip On/Off Alarm Clock

$42 - $49 from Amazon »

I see how the ease of just tossing a blaring alarm clock on its head to turn it off could be very dangerous for some people. If you don't have to work for the deactivation--dig for a minuscule button, chase a rolling...

Ferrofluid Bottles

Discontinued

A short while ago, we showed you these interactive ferrofluid sculptures. They're fancy. In the sense of the word that indicates ownership will cost hundreds of dollars. So now, in deference to our readers who possess...

Drumstick Pencils

$8.02 from Amazon »

While pencil tapping is irritating and often makes people want to break the offender's writing utensil and chuck it across the room, pencil drumming is a crowd pleaser, and should make them want to gather 'round and throw...

Lexon Around Clock

Sold Out from Amazon »

Lexon's Around Clock works kind of like Planet Earth. Or a revolving restaurant. Instead of a hand circling a face twice a day, this timepiece's cylindrical face slowly moves around its stationary red hand. That's nice...

Tempo Drop Weather Forecaster

$79 - $94 from GNR 8 »

Tempo Drop is a stylized version of storm glass. Or if, like me, you don't know what the Orville Redenbacher a storm glass is either, then the Tempo Drop is a stylized weather forecaster. The sealed glass container holds...

FlipBooKit - Mechanical Flipbook Kit

$48.95 - $99.95 from FlipBooKit »

Is it just me, or does anyone else hear the word "flip" and immediately feel their middle finger raise or eyes scan the room for a red Solo cup? I know the reaction is uncouth, but the uncouthery isn't really attributable...

Interactive Ferrofluid Sculptures

Discontinued

In researching all of the uses for Interactive Ferrofluid Sculptures, I found myself continuously returning to one standout: time waster. The hypnotizing borosilicate glass vials filled with mutable elemental amoebas...

Desktop Saltwater Aquarium

$210 - $395 from PJ Reefs »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored...

Perpetual Calendar

$40.56 from Amazon »

Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the...

Photon 3D Scanner

$579 from Matterform »

Matterform's Photon caters to people who want to get in on the 3D printing action, but have no existing computer modeling skills, and no desire to acquire any. A desktop-sized 3D scanner, the Photon will convert any physical...

Handbook for the Recently Deceased

$29.95 from Etsy »

This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one...

Ai Weiwei Statue

$200 from Exhibition A »

Chinese artist and political activist Ai Weiwei flips the bird not to you and me (though he might if he knew us, 'ey?) but to public monuments. The White House. Tiananmen Square. King's Landing. In 2011, the Chinese government...

MechOwlie Steampunk Owl

Discontinued

Maybe the wise old steampunk MechOwlies can tell me why. Tell me why ain't nothin' but a heartache. Tell me why ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why I never wanna hear you say I want it that way. Or at least whether...

Kuato Cigaratt Statue

Discontinued

Open your mind, Quaid, and tell me which is creepier: Kuato or the Cigaratt who's stomach he's jutting out from. Artist Cig Neutron combines 80s campiness with 50s sci-fi with Total Recall in this figurine spin on...well...

Tetris Alarm Clock

$39.29 from Firebox.com »

As every girl under the age of 30 I've eavesdropped on at the hair salon* would say: O...M...G. Maybe the only thing better than dreaming about Tetrimino rods and cubes and guns cascading down into masses of perfectly...