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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/desktop-saltwater-aquarium-7869.jpg "Desktop Saltwater Aquarium")
"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral, all more...
/photon-3d-scanner-7330.jpg "Photon 3D Scanner")
Matterform's Photon caters to people who want to get in on the 3D printing action, but have no existing computer modeling skills, and no desire to acquire any. A desktop-sized 3D scanner, the Photon will convert any physical object more...
/perpetual-calendar-7557.jpg "Perpetual Calendar")
Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the month and day for this year, next year, the next year, and the next year all the way to infinity. You can pass this calendar down to your children to use after you're dead. more...
/handbook-for-the-recently-6642.jpg "Handbook for the Recently Deceased")
This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with their own more...
/You-Suck-At-Parking-Business-Cards-980.jpg?mode=crop "You Suck At Parking Business Cards")
Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option, maybe letting more...
/Self-Sustaining-Ecosphere-15.jpg "Self Sustaining Ecosphere")
Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them, set them on your desk, and enjoy staring at them while they do nothing other than remain loyal to the eyes that watch them. A real crowd-pleaser too. more...
/Defusable-Alarm-Clock-718.jpg?mode=crop "Defusable Alarm Clock")
Sometimes an alarm just isn't enough. It's too easy to press snooze and get another 10 minutes in. Before you know it... you're late. Here's your solution. With the threat of getting blown up ever present, you won't even need your morning more...
/mechowlie-steampunk-owl-5218.jpg "MechOwlie Steampunk Owl")
Maybe the wise old steampunk MechOwlies can tell me why. Tell me why ain't nothin' but a heartache. Tell me why ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why I never wanna hear you say I want it that way. Or at least whether or not AJ's more...
/jigger-usb-lighter-4401.jpg "USB Lighter")
Jigger, the USB-charged cigarette lighter. Nice concept, but cigarettes? Cigarettes?! How will I light my Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit? How am I supposed to light my Kraken pipe? How I'm gonna light my Menagerie of Mechanized Happiness?! more...
/kuato-cigaratt-statue-4530.jpg "Kuato Cigaratt Statue")
Open your mind, Quaid, and tell me which is creepier: Kuato or the Cigaratt who's stomach he's jutting out from. Artist Cig Neutron combines 80s campiness with 50s sci-fi with Total Recall in this figurine spin on...well, nothing at more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/custom-vinyl-record-skulls-4458.jpg "Custom Vinyl Record Skulls")
Grab your profundity caps, because multi-media artist Ted Riederer's custom-made Vinyl Record Skulls reflect more than just another opulent expression of punk rock. Their inspiration stems from an essay by Rainer Maria Rilke entitled more...
/tetris-alarm-clock-4479.jpg "Tetris Alarm Clock")
As every girl under the age of 30 I've eavesdropped on at the hair salon* would say: O...M...G. Maybe the only thing better than dreaming about Tetrimino rods and cubes and guns cascading down into masses of perfectly amassed masses more...
/KOZO-2-Desk-Lamp-129.jpg?mode=crop "KOZO 2 Desk Lamp")
Industrial style desk lamp made from galvanized cast iron piping. This is a masculine piece of lamp that will tell your visitors that you ain't messin' around while you sit at your quaint little desk and read celebrity gossip instead more...
/titanic-piggy-bank-3513.jpg "Titanic Piggy Bank")
What a nice metaphor for the state of my finances. So, what, the Titanic Piggy Bank is going the Grandma route, and employing guilt to exact fiscal responsibility and discipline? Well, after 20+ years of reckless spending, I'm impervious more...
/Mr-P-Tape-Dispenser-1139.jpg?mode=crop "Mr. P Tape Dispenser")
Get your tape from the mouth of a little guy. No big deal. Use his toes to get a perfect tear at the end. Don't you hate it if there isn't a perfect tear at the end? Also, how many times have you cut your finger on that sharp serrated more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
