Desktop

Offencils Profanity Pencils (NSFW)

$14.99 from Amazon »

Offencils profanity pencils are like the Daniel Tosh of insulting writing tools. They say it, they own it, and if you're offended, well...you're probably a scat-sucking twat face anyway. And, also like Tosh, if you can...

Aerospace Grade Oligodynamic Copper Mega Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

The Aerospace Grade Oligodynamic Copper Mega Sphere! It's your new secret weapon, shined up all bright like a retina-damaging laser, and ready to take over the world of sick office decor! Display it on your desktop, right...

The Dude Abiding Kit

$135 from Etsy »

Dudes who want to show off the Dude Abiding on their desktop must abide themselves by assembling the Dude Abiding garage kit...

Vortex Dome Rheoscopic Fluid Desk Toy

$57.17 from Etsy »

The Vortex Dome is a science-packed desk toy that does for you eyes what fidget toys do for your hands. With a stainless steel and ball bearing spinning base, the Vortex Dome gets a little tactile stimulation in there...

Mini Cargo Crate Containers

$21.95 from Amazon »

And if you keep giving me the side-eye, scissors, I'm boxing up that cargo crate you live in and shipping you off to Abu Dhabi!...

Spartan Warrior Desktop Accessory

$29.99 from Amazon »

Not real sure what you'd need a mini Spartan warrior spear at your desk for - toothpick? - but the hoplite desktop accessory's other tool, a battle sword, is primed for all your letter opening offenses...

Eiffel Tower Hidden Knife

$16.95 from Amazon »

I can't take credit for coming up with the nickname, but think of this Eiffel Tower desktop display piece as your Kneiffel Tower. Because at the ready inside the formidable 15-1/2" landmark stands an 8-1/2" hidden knife!...

Handmade Golf Ball Cannon

$399 from Amazon »

Having made a whole list of the best projectile launchers, I know a good desktop cannon when I see one. And, dude, this golf ball cannon is one damn fine desktop cannon. Handmade by Butterfield Machine, the Black Powder...

Retro Flip-Open A-Z Address Book

$14.95 from Amazon »

See, if you stick to flip-open A-Z address books and tin cans connected by string they can't track you or steal your data!...

Monthly Measure Perpetual Calendar & Ruler

Are you into dates and measures? How about a calendar that lasts forever? And the metric system? Monthly Measure is a combination perpetual calendar, ruler, and desktop display piece...

Pencil Dice - Pencil with Integrated Rolling Dice

Just when you think it's Mother F**king Pencil Time, Pencil Dice step in and say, "No. It's mother f**king dice time." Six sides on a die, six sides on the hexagonal prisms o' wood. It's a match made in Yahtzee and Bunco...

Craighill Desk Knife

$60 from Craighill »

The Craighill Desk Knife would sure be a fancy partner for the chewed up Bic on my desktop. Inspired by the Japanese kiridashi knife, this multi-use cutting tool should look mighty nice living on your desk display, and...

Sola Cube Micro

The Solo Cube Micro series has Father's Day gift for Dad written along every stroke of its microorganism replicas' laser-engraved glass. Each of these pieces of biological desktop art is a 3D portrait of a microorganism...

Star Trek Captain Picard Facepalm Bust

$64.99 from ThinkGeek »

In desktop-sized bust form, the great Captain Picard reminds us you only need one arm and one hand to execute the perfect facepalm. Frozen facepalmed in time, Star Trek TNG's brave leader also demonstrates with perfect...

Orbiform Mathematically Perfect, Constant Width Solid

$28 - $34 from Kickstarter »

Orbiform follows the OLOID in what might be the next evolution of fidget and desktop toys: mathematical sculptures. Both the Orbiform and the OLOID are built according to real, albeit little discussed, geometric shapes...

Post-it Extreme Notes

$4.99 from Amazon »

Welcome to Post-It Extreme! Where players compete to write the most intense, provocative, daaangerous notes and reminders! You leave a Post-It to pick up milk at the store? Lame! At Post-It Extreme we leave Post-Its to...

Julius Caesar Pen Holder

$22 from Etsy »

Et tu, Sharpie? With this Julius Caesar pen and pencil holder you'll be able to stab your buddy Caesar in the back day after day. With up to 14 implements!...

Vortecon Kinetic Desk Toy

$32 - $40 from Kickstarter »

The Vortecon isn't just a precision machined desk toy from the same designer who developed the Moondrop, it's an optical illusion. Give the metal cylinder a twist when you're antsy, bored, or need some focus, and get...

Solar System Crystal Ball

$30.99 from Amazon »

Know what I see when I look into this solar system crystal ball? No Pluto! And it makes me wonder if kids these days - a demographic maker Sumnacon says its solar system-filled crystal ball is perfect for - even know...

Dumpsty Steel Desktop Dumpster

$195 from Amazon »

A Dumpsty Dumpster is a real steel desktop-sized dumpster for you to throw all the shit you get from your boss / wife / mama in. It even comes with authentic dumpster warning sign magnets and 2 rubber lids in your choice...

Gravity Museum Tabletop Space Exploration Kit

The Gravity Museum is a hands-on catalogue of the gravitational forces acting on the planets in our solar system. Created by Kristoph Krisjans, who also brought us the Moondrop gravity-defying fidget toy, the Gravity...

World's Smallest Violin

$12.95 from Amazon »

This is the world's smallest violin, and I'm gonna play it just for you...whiners! So many whiners! At work. On the road. At the checkout line. In my inbox. And the biggest one of all: right there in my bathroom mirror...

T-Rex Hatching Dinosaur Egg Candle

$45 from Amazon »

Good things, such as baby T-Rex dinosaur desktop toys, come to those who wait. Who wait, and who burn. Light the wick on this egg-shaped candle from The Creative Desk and experience the joy of hatching a new baby 65-million-year-old...

Steampunk Gearwork Sand Timer

$23.99 from Amazon »

Flip over Doktor Schmerling's gearwork sand timer and as the grains drop, its gears will churn wider and wider, opening a portal to an alternate steampunk dimension in 1880s London...