No Network - Battle Tank Cell Signal Jammer

By: on August 01, 2013

Julian Oliver's No Network cell phone signal jamming BATTLETANKMOTHERFUCKERRR! is not in production or for sale or making appearances anywhere outside of its gallery setting. And even if it were I would not tell you where or how to buy one because apparently mucking up the mobile network of everyone within a 20- to 50-foot diameter of your network mucker upper (disguised as a BATTLETANKMOTHERFUCKERRR!) is illegal in most countries, and I am tired of getting yelled at for spreading the knowledge and purchasing details of these types of inventions by you guys and the po and my mama. So let's all just enjoy the No Network concept, engage in some healthy debate about the invasive and handicapping nature of its use, and then go fix me some steak fajitas and strawberry-cream cheese tart for dessert.

At the flick of switch, No Network scrambles nearby cell communication signals and implements a "blanket ban of mobile telephony in its presence." No mas calls, texts, Facebook updates, or 60-point plays on Words with Friends. The second in Oliver's series of "cyber warfare" and "cyber weapons" explorations, the tank obviously takes its shape as a literal manifestation of the human ability (and desire) to stifle our enemies with technological combat. The effect in this case? The consequence of being cut off from our smartphones? Isolation. A sense of helplessness. Societal exile. Just like how in the olden days the French banished Napoleon to Elba, and the British sent all their convicts to die on a big empty island. Except in the latter scenario, we ended up with Australia, which is like a thousand times better than England, so I guess the whole "You're neutralized" thing can work out alright sometimes.

The No Network tank was built from hundreds of parts as a 1:25 scale model of a 1966 British Chieftain. Its jammer disrupts communications in North and South America, Europe, and Asia in the following ranges of cell signals (including 3G data packet networking):

  • CDMA 870-880MHz
  • GSM 930-960MHz
  • DCS 1805-1850MHz
  • PHS 1900-1920MHz
  • 3G 2010-2145MHz

Oliver plans to create two additional tanks for his series, one of which will block communication of GPS location services, and the other WiFi networking.

Check it out

iNyx - Self-Contained-Bedroom Bed

$9,999 from iNyx »

January 2017 Update: iNyx has now developed its own website. At printing, the online ordering system linked to an iNyx IndieGoGo crowdfunding page here....

Check it out

Helmfon Noise-Cancelling Helmet

Looks like Helmfon Jr. is playing with Daddy's noise-cancelling helmet again. Don't worry, kiddo, you'll grow into Darth Helmfon's sound absorber and privacy sphere soon enough. And then all the power of the Audibly Dark...

Check it out

Ripsaw EV2 Luxury Tank

By: Ripsaw »

If you're in the market for a new ride, hemming and hawing over whether to get a Dodge Ram or a Ford F-150, I'm afraid I'm about to throw a wrench the size of a tank into your deliberation process. Say hello to, and then...

Check it out

Hushme Voice Mask & Muffler for Mobile Phones

$149 - $189 from Hushme »

The Hushme is like the Baby Muzzle for adults! Of course, they spin it that the (Bane-approved!) voice mask and muffler serves wearers and their privacy while taking phone calls in public, not that it protects all the...

Check it out

Jelly - The Smallest 4G Smartphone

$79 - $95 from Kickstarter »

What is this, a smartphone for my smartphone? No? You mean I'm supposed to hold this Jelly, this...this...thing that's no bigger than a pack of peanut butter crackers, in my own giant manhands, and use it to talk and...

Buy Now

CUJO Smart Internet Security Firewall

$249 from Amazon »

This CUJO won't attack you like Stephen King's rabid dog, but if the smart firewall does its job, it will point that aggression towards the malware, ransomware, viruses, and other a-hole hacker moves vying to steal and...

Check it out

Liquipel - Waterproof Your iPhone

$59 from Liquipel »

As phones get smaller and smaller and cases for these tiny phones get bigger and bigger, we still have one threat to our precious 21st century life support. And that threat is water. H2O. The deadliest substance known...

Buy Now

Privacy Pop Bed Tent

$104.99 - $149.99 from Amazon »

It's about that time of year. The time that anyone with a new roommate starts to assess exactly how he or she feels about said roommate. Best bud, mortal enemy, tolerable nuisance, unfortunate insertion into the human...

Check it out

Cocoon 1 - Bubble Abode


The Cocoon 1 is for that sort of selfish kind of privacy people seek. The kind that means no one can bother or make any demands of them, but they can still watch and hear and pass judgment on what's going on with everyone...

Buy Now

Retro Thick Brick Cell Phone

$56.99 from Amazon »

I smell a gift for the grad comin' in hot! Giving an LBER KR999 classic thick brick cell phone to young whippersnappers is like giving them a piece of history to take with them into the future. It's a reminder of where...

Check it out

Stealth Wear - Counter Surveillance Clothing

Privacy crusader Adam Harvey builds off of his last experiment with fashion as a means of confidentiality, CV Dazzle, with a new line of counter surveillance clothing termed Stealth Wear. While the CV Dazzle system focused...

Check it out

The Stealth Pavillion

Dutch artist Paul Seger's Stealth Pavillion is an art installation and thematic exploration of heterotopia, the idea of anti-space within a expressed context. I know. I hate it too when people define a word that doesn't...