Gear

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Peeping Creeper Prank Prop

$29.94 from Amazon »

Does it get any better than scaring the Pringles and PBR out of my friend Cornelius by hanging up a fake creeper in a hoodie staring into his living room window at night? Not really. They call this peeping Tom simulation...

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Batman Branding Iron

Discontinued

The Batman branding iron "is not a toy! You can do some serious damage to people and property with this hot item if you aren't careful! By purchasing this item you are agreeing to not hold us accountable for anything...

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DataLocker Self-Encrypting & Destructing Drive

$375.66 from Amazon »

Here's a fun James Bond toy for the everyday man. The DataLocker Enterprise has 1 TB of 256-bit encrypted portable storage, and is the first USB hard drive with FIPS 140-2 validation. It also spotlights one of spy movies'...

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SwageU Bluetooth Headphones

$55.99 from Amazon »

Rokit Boost adds the SwageU Bluetooth Headphones to their line of Swage ear gear (those who prefer the round to the oblong look can also check out the Swage Sports.) Lightweight with magnetic earbuds that release from/connect...

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Bike-Mounted Leather Beer Caddy

$59.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, full grain leather, a 6-pack of fine brew, and...physical activity? Blech. Can we swap that last one out for a cigar? No? That would defeat the entire purpose of Fyxation's bike-mounted beer caddy? Well. Alright...

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Crock-Pot BBQ Pit Slow Cooker

Sold Out from Amazon »

The worst part of the year is upon us: the end of summer. True, football is starting again and the children who have been littering up your house for the past 2 months will soon be heading back to school, but...winter...

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SexFit Sexual Fitness Tracker (NSFW)

Bondara, a British sex toy online store and blog, plans to begin testing of its SexFit prototype in the 4th quarter of 2014. So by 2016...or maybe even February 2015 since I'm sure they'll have thousands and thousands...

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OM/ONE Levitating Bluetooth Speaker

$179 - $299 from OM/ONE »

I would like to listen to my OM/ONE levitating Bluetooth speaker sitting atop my Float levitating table whilst lounging on my Cloud levitating sofa and surfing Internet porn with my Bat levitating mouse. My life coach s

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SpreadThat! Heated Butter Knife

$30 from Amazon »

I have to say, as superfluous to life as a heated butter spreader is, it would be kind of nice to have a SpreadThat! when I slice off a brick of ice cold Land O'Lakes and then mangle the ever-loving churned bovine secretions...

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iPin Mobile-Powered Laser Pointer

$39.99 - $54.63 from Amazon »

It's a smartphone with a frickin' laser pointer. Not quite as visually stunning as the shark version, but probably way more practical. And slightly more professional looking for presentations. iPin mobile-powered laser...

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Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch...

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Shark Fin Dog Life Jacket

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

This shark won't take a bite out of your leg, but get too close and he'll probably lick and hump it. How clever. A shark life preserver for your pooch. He might hate wearing it, but the full-body flotation vest will keep...

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Wall-Mounted Shark Bottle Opener

$38.50 from Hot Rockin' Belle »

Welcome to Shark Week 2014. Well, we're mere hours from its launch anyway. And you know you're going to want to crack a brew at 8/7 Central Time tonight when things officially kick off. Too late to use this wicked wall-mounted...

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DestapaBanana Filling Injector

Are you kidding me? An Argentine made the DestapaBanana flavor injector? Not Ron Popeil or some borderline obese overenthusiastic dude with a pet monkey on Shark Tank?...

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DYMO LabelWriter

$59.99 from Amazon »

Seinfeld jokes aside, the DYMO LabelWriter is a golden machine. As those of you who have received Mystery Boxes and Dude Salud packages from us can attest, I use mine with reckl

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Hand Forged Samurai Swords

$125 - $6,990 from Swords of Northshire »

Swords of Northshire works directly with a forge in Longquan to satisfy all of your samurai sword needs. Or, more likely, create your sudden and intense samurai sword needs. Handmade from the ground up, the retailer's...

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Beer Briefcase

$48 from Amazon »

It's no Saddleback Leather Classic in appearance, and I'm sure it doesn't come with a 100-year warranty, but the Beer Briefcase can still serve a purpose, and play a notable supporting role in a man's life. It can replace...

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R2-D2 Virtual Laser Keyboard with Sound

$299.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Turns out R2-D2 can project more than a pretty face. And far more useful than Princess Leia's bunned mug is the droid's holographic keyboard, a new addition to the virtual QWERTY world. Like the Cube and its keychain-sized...

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The Barisieur Coffee Brewing Alarm Clock

Josh Renouf knows what the world really needs: coffee. Stat. Like, the second it opens its eyes. And it needs it served from The Barisieur, an alarm clock topped with implements from Beaker's lab. Very nice, Mr. Renouf...

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The Defender Smart Self Defense Device

$159 from Defender »

The Defender combines a pepper spray device with a digital camera for the most epic selfies ever. Just kidding. But once this 3-in-1 personal protection armory comes out, $50 says some jackass is going to earn themselves...

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Brooklyn Butcher Blocks Woodenware

$20 - $270 from Brooklyn Butcher Blocks »

Nils Wessell makes some pretty beastly butcher blocks. And cutting boards. And solid wood beer mugs. His is woodenware for Real Men. And also women who like sturdy, hand-crafted, masculine-yet-sleek mainstays for their...

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Rubik's Cube Mini Fridge

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you can solve this Rubik's Cube in 2 minutes or less I'll give you 1 million dollars. Awwww, shucks. Yeah, I did know the the segments don't actually move. Why else would I put the offer on the table? I don't think...

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Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool

Sold Out from Amazon »

You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...

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Salvo 12 Commercial Shotgun Suppressor

$1,400 from SilencerCo »

I think most sportsmen would agree that hunting and skeet shooting are fun, but going deaf is not. And while earmuffs and plugs can assist with eardrum preservation, they can also inhibit the detection of other critical...