47

Bang & Olufsen Beoplay H5 Earphones

By: on June 30, 2016
$237.99
Check It Out

Bang & Olufsen's Beoplay H5 wireless earphones are brand new, so who knows how good they are, but...does B&O really make many bad products? I mean, to each his own when it comes to earbud comfort, design, and style preferences, but when it comes to quality, Denmark's 90-year-old electronics giant is the best and most sought after there is.

At least that's what I told my friends as I was bragging about the B&O stacked sound system we got when I was 8. It had a record player on top, a brand new technology CD player in the middle, and an amplifier on the bottom. And also a remote control the size of my head. It looked like this.

I haven't owned (via my mama) another B&O release since then, but my sense is that the Beoplay H5s are worth a once over. For one thing, I like that you can hardly see them--small, subtle, and dangling-cord free since they're Bluetooth and wrap around the back of your neck. And when you don't want the earphones in your ears, but aren't ready to relegate them to the depths of your bag yet, the buds are magnetic and click together so you can wear them around your neck.

B&O has also given the H5s a splash- and dust-resistant casing and long-play battery that lasts up to 5 hours per charge. Their charging cube is also small and magnetic for plug'n'snap power ups from anywhere. The earphones come in Black and Dusty Rose.

If you're not sold on the B&Os, one thing I do know about earphones available in the 21st century is that these Bose QuietComforts have saved me from listening to many a snorer, yakker, and howling child on about every airplane I've taken in the 2 years I've had them. They're not wireless, and they have a small brick thing that's kind of clunky attached to the base of the wire (the noise cancellation hub, I guess) but I swear, if you need it, they will mute the world and put the peace and quiet in your soul.

Check it out

Ladobi Erotic Film Earphones

$30.69 from Firebox.com »

If you're going to spend a fine Wednesday evening listening to people F softly, screw gently, hump sweetly, ball discreetly, and then F'ing bone completely, wouldn't you prefer that they not sound like Jack Black scraping...

Check it out

Helmfon Noise-Cancelling Helmet

Looks like Helmfon Jr. is playing with Daddy's noise-cancelling helmet again. Don't worry, kiddo, you'll grow into Darth Helmfon's sound absorber and privacy sphere soon enough. And then all the power of the Audibly Dark...

Buy Now

The Eviltron

Sold Out from Amazon »

Combining the ethos that nothing is scarier than one's own imagination with the ethos that creeping someone out to the cusp of a complete mental breakdown is great fun, we have...The Eviltron. That strange scratching...

Buy Now

Mpow Bluetooth Over Ear Headphones

$79.99 from Amazon »

From what I gather, Mpow makes some pretty alright headphones at some pretty alright prices. The over ear Bluetooth model I've picked out here touts the simple feature of high quality sound....

Buy Now

Earin - World's Smallest Headphones

$149.99 from Amazon »

I wasn't aware there was a competition to create the World's Smallest Headphones, but apparently Earin has been proclaimed--or proclaimed itself--the winner. The Swedish company says their wireless earbuds are the absolute...

Buy Now

Euler's Disk of Infinite Spin & Sound

$24.99 from Amazon »

I'm not saying the Euler's Disk isn't fascinating and rad and a commendable utilization of the laws of physics, but watching and listening to it creates a great deal of anxiety in my heart. It's like the foreboding music...

Check it out

Elbow Cassette Tape Player

By: Elbow »

Elbow recently completed a market test survey on their low-tech, ultra-portable concept that will revolutionize the way you play...uh...mix tapes. A clip-on arm with a pulley system, the Elbow cassette tape player spools...

Buy Now

Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device

Sold Out from Amazon »

File it under "Prank." "Leg Up." "TCB." Or "Revenge." Shomer-Tec's Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device looks like no more than a nondescript gray box--a useless one, perhaps. You can even flip its switch and nothing...

Buy Now

Vinci Smart Headphones with AI

$149.77 from Amazon »

I like that Vinci's headphones are smart enough that I can ditch my phone and still stream music. And I like that they're voice activated for hands-free song selection. And in theory I like the Vinci's artificial intelligence...

Buy Now

The Loudest Portable Speaker

$699 from Amazon »

I just learned about The Loudest Portable Speaker from my newly deaf friends Maurice and Sue, who just returned from testing Soundboks' 119dB bad boy at Burning Man. Conclusion:...

Buy Now

SubPac M2 - Immersive & Tactile Audio Vest

Sold Out from Amazon »

Some people are born with music in their heart, rhythm in their bones. I was born tone deaf and with the dance skills of Doug and Steve Butabi head-bobbin' at the Roxbury. Maybe it's because just hearing music isn't enough...

Buy Now

Mistaken Lyrics Coasters

$25 - $30 from Amazon »

We've all done it. We've all badgered someone else for doing it. And really, song lyrics misheard, mistaken, and butchered are almost always more fun than what the artists are actually singing anyway....