Tanita Handheld Body Smell Checker
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I need a Tanita Handheld Body Smell Checker...for other people. So that I can present some hard data when I approach them to propose they start wearing deodorant. Or shower every once in a while - after staying up all night playing Fortnite, eating takeout wings and frozen chili burritos, and blasting the ass trumpet - before coming into work. Getting on the bus. Using the crosswalk at the same time I do.
Tanita's Handheld Body Smell Checker consists of a base reader and sensor arm, the latter of which you hold close to your body at the area in question for measurement of smell-producing particulate matter. Ten seconds later the Body Smell Checker will return a stench reading on a scale of 1 to 11. Yes, 11. In this case a number you should only turn it up to if you know today will involve giving your mother-in-law a big, tight hug.
While the Handheld Body Smell Checker is an obvious choice for detecting b.o., excessive scalp grease, and the effects of eating at an Indian restaurant, Tanita also points out the gadget is designed to read the intensity of any smell, even good ones. So you can also determine whether you've put on too much cologne before a date, or if bathing in that caramel sauce you said was so good you could bathe in it was such a good idea after all.