Gadgets

Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit

$1,680 from Her Royal Flyness »

I am drawing this Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit to the world's attention only so that if anyone sees a woman carrying a bluish-greenish colored purse you'll know to report her immediately to a shrink, the police, and Batman....

Smartphone Controlled Paper Airplane

$30 - $75 from Power Up Toys »

We've seen electric paper airplanes. And we've seen flights of fancy controlled by smartphones. But never before in the history of mankind's existence on the universe have we seen an electric paper airplane controlled...

Sound Activated LED Car Sticker

$12.99 from Amazon »

If you're looking for a way both to obstruct 90% of the view out of your back windshield and provide a beacon to po searching for cars to pull over, I am pleased to offer you one of AGPtek's bumpin' & grindin', sound...

Rift Recon Red Team Kit

$1,199.99 from Rift Recon »

Rift Recon terms themselves Physical Security Specialists. They explain what that is in about 500 words of fancy and circumlocutory jargon, the essence of which I'm pretty sure means they cater to high-class Shady McShadersons....

Celestron 5 MP LCD Digital Microscope

$129.99 from Amazon »

Whomever posted all their slide shots to the Celestron InfiniView Digital Microscope listing on Amazon sure liked looking at bugs. Check out that white one. What is that, a dust mite? That thing is sick, dude. But it...

Structure - 3D Sensor for Mobile Devices

$349 - $379 from Structure »

Occipital believes the future of computer vision is mobile. That means the company's forthcoming Structure Sensor for iPad has 3D depth--the camera attachment captures accurate, all-dimensional measurements and models...

Van de Graaf Generator

$139.95 from Amazon »

When I was little they used to have one of these devices that makes your hair stand on end at an amazing and delightful place called The Magic House. My mama would sometimes take me there if I could go 8 days straight...

Circuit Scribe Conductive Rollerball Pen

Sold Out from Amazon »

A few random soundbites from Circuit Scribe, a rollerball pen filled with magical (i.e., specially developed reactive silver) ink that enables users of all ages with average or better fine motor skills to draw circuits...

Coin Card Consolidator

$50 - $100 from Coin »

Since I'm so important I pretty much have cards coming out of my ascending colon. Granted, most of them are for the various sandwich and froyo shops around my town (with one very special exception of a $50 gift card to...

Password Vault

$28.40 from Amazon »

This Password Vault seems like a decent gift for people who, like me, follow the universal password rules of choosing a different protective code of at least 8 characters, half of which are symbols or caps, for every...

iMirror Interactive Glass

Like the Cybertecture Mirror from Tech2O, POSH View's iMirror seeks to bring the internet to a place the company says we spend over 168 hours, or 7 full days, every year: the looking glass....

You Snooze You Lose Cash Alarm Clock

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

In a nutshell--so you can start cookin' up how you're going to use the SnuzNLuz or who you're going to give it to without further ado--what you see here is an alarm clock that connects to your online bank account via...

The Eviltron

Sold Out from ThinkGeek »

Combining the ethos that nothing is scarier than one's own imagination with the ethos that creeping someone out to the cusp of a complete mental breakdown is great fun, we have...The Eviltron. That strange scratching...

Wristify Body Temperature Regulator

Much of the hype surrounding Wristify addresses the potential impact the thermoelectric bracelet could have on contemporary society's heating/cooling energy consumption. But its creators, a group of MIT students who won...

TACTILU - Remote Touch Communicator

I'm not sure technology will ever truly succeed in delivering remote hugs, kisses from across the world, and sweet caresses to the face and wiener, but it's sure as shucks gonna keep trying. One of several tech-savvy...

Deaf Leopard Train Horn Gun

It's not surprising that the Deaf Leopard train horn gun can put the power and sound of a choo choo in our hands. I mean, if they can turn forearm muscles into remote control guns with an armband and find the Higgs boson...

The Illuminator - Instant Light Projector

$129 from Amazon »

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration...

USB Lighter with Counterfeit Bill Detector

$15 from Brando »

This USB lighter with a UV light for counterfeit bill detection should be a pretty sweet combo for drug dealers. Get handed a $100, see it's a fake on the spot, burn it to bits, kick the scammer's ass to next Tuesday...

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Mirage 3D Instant Hologram Maker

$35.98 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Reverse Peephole Viewer

$43.87 from Amazon »

Now here's something that should be illegal, but is instead available with free shipping on Amazon. The reverse peephole viewer, used appropriately by law enforcement personnel and inappropriately by 99% of all others...

Triposo Vibrating Navigation Belt

Discontinued

The more I think about the Triposo Travel Belt, a belt that connects to smartphones' Triposo navigation apps and vibrates on the left, right, front, or back of the body to indicate the direction the wearer is meant to...

Kapture - Audio-Recording Wristband

$99 - $199 from Kapture »

Kapture could easily both save and ruin my life. Because the snazzy wristband doesn't just record voices and conversations, it records them all the time. It runs continuously, collecting audio in 60-second buffered loops...

Nymi Biometric Security & Communication Wristband

$79 from Nymi »

The MYO armband is cool and all, but to turn its wearers into human remote controls, it needs them to flex. Gesture. Move. The Nymi wristband, by contrast, will transform us into biological security systems and device...

Fos Wearable Bluetooth Display Patch

Discontinued

Fos: It's an LED safety patch for pedestrians and bikers. Fos: It's a light grid programmable wirelessly through your smartphone to display video, graphics, or text. Fos: It's everything people post on Facebook about...

MakerBot Digitizer 3D Scanner

$1,400 from Makerbot »

I don't know if I really need to 3D scan anything--well nothing that would fit within the MakerBot Digitizer's 8" diameter confines, winkwinknudgenugde--and I definitely know I do not have $1,400, but I like that little...

Double - Roaming Robotic iPad Stand

$2,499 from Double Robotics »

What if you could be in two places at once? I mean really. I mean more really than just having a view via a live video feed. What if you could walk around, look at, and engage with anyone or thing you wanted, with your...

SIGMO Instant 25-Language Voice Translator

$50 from SIGMO »

When I meet an attractive and well-endowed Portuguese exchange student, I feel that talk is overrated. Body language suits me juuust fine. However, when I'm lost on the streets of Istanbul and the only person willing...

Vibrating Bicycle Seat

$43 from SexShop 365 »

A heads up to politicians and city planners: stop wasting your money on bike lanes, tax incentives, and PSA campaigns. All you need do to persuade your constituents to trade in cars for bicycles on their morning commute...

HDVR Rearview Mirror Car Accident Camera

$76.90 from Amazon »

Reviewers of ABEO's HDVR-150, a hi-def video/still camera built into an attachable rearview mirror, have predominantly words of praise to lay upon the device, but I'm not fully sold on its application. Certainly in this...

Google Chromecast HDMI Streaming Media Player

$35 from Amazon »

With its typical anything-you-can-do bravado, Google has built Chromecast, an HDMI streaming media player in the vein of Apple TV and Roku, but...you got it. Better. So they say....

Shark With Frickin' Laser Pointer

$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not...

GlassUp - Smartphone HUD Eyeglasses

$299 from GlassUp »

GlassUp. They're a pair of HUD smartphone-linked glasses that flash texts, emails, news updates, directions, any messages for which you would normally look down and consult a screen, right onto the glass in front of your...

Telekinetic Enhancer

Sold Out from Amazon »

Learn a different kind of quackery...um, I mean brain skill, with the Telekinetic Enhancer, a lightweight aluminum flyer thing that sits on a prong and lolls about in clockwise or counterclockwise circles when touched...

Garmin Head-Up Navigation Display

$129.99 from Garmin »

Keep my eyes on the road? Whaaat? I haven't done that since, like, 1996. For a while I would clip my nails and text while driving to pass the time, but after all of those creepy PSAs came out I could hardly even type...

Secret Agent Projection Gun Alarm Clock

$34.95 from Amazon »

What time is it? Let me check my Secret Agent projection gun alarm clock. Shoot! It's time to get up....

Winbot Window Washing Robot

$399.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

Fact: no one wants robots to take our jobs. Fact also: but it wouldn't be so bad if they took our jobs that are household chores that we do not enjoy. Winbot, a window washing robot, does for glass cleanliness what Sonte...

The World Upside Down Goggles

$70.71 from Grand Illusions »

The trickery of prisms strikes again! Here two hunks of Dove plexiglass fit over a pair of glasses' eyepieces to invert all images the wearer sees. Reversing Goggles make for interesting school science experiments, as...

Prism Glasses for Reading in Bed

$6.97 from Amazon »

Well, Prism Glasses for reading in bed or Prism Glasses for reading while lying flat on your back on the hood of someone's Honda Civic after you wake up from a drunken pass out and need to smartphone your way into determining...

Concrete Wireless Induction Charger

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series...

The Kitchen Safe - Time-Lock Vice Guard

$49.95 from Kitchen Safe »

David Krippendorf invented the Kitchen Safe first to help himself avert caving to unhealthy snack cravings. Usage of the 3-1/2 quart timed lock box soon evolved into housing TV and video game controllers, cigarettes and...

SolePower Device-Charging Insole

$100 - $135 from SolePower »

A shoe insole to charge my phone? Crapazola, this is even better than the stationary bike I use to power my desktop PC. SolePower generates juice for cell phones, mp3 players, and GPS devices by the power of the human...

Melon - The Headband That Measures Your Focus

$99 from Melon »

Melon says, "Imagine if you could see and understand the invisible activity of your brain." Hmmm. Given that the brain activity of which I am conscious would probably get me ejected from many public places and kicked...

Batman Signal Projection Alarm Clock

Sold Out from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought...

LEGO Swiss Army Knife

The LEGO Swiss Army Knife! It's not for sale yet, but if you like it, vote the Technic-Bionicle creation into official company review over at LEGO CUUSOO (the strangest and most cumbersome name for a Website I think I've...

Hovertrax Auto-Balancing Transporter

$995 from Inventist »

The Hovertrax has no learning curve and requires no skills to use, which is good because you can bet that if I'm too lazy to walk myself down the street or hallway, I am definitely too lazy to learn how to use a complex...

Limeade Blast Ultra-High Capacity Battery Pack

$39.99 - $99.99 from Amazon »

The beauty of Limeade Blast stems from the suckage of smartphones and tablets. Both that they suck up battery power like a 12-pound newborn on a teat, and that this inadequacy of smartphone and tablet batteries really...

Dead Space Plasma Cutter

Though restricted to 30mW and 1.5W laser rather than actual plasma energy, Patrick Priebe's replica Plasma Cutter from the Dead Space video game series will still singe a block of wood and sear through a trash bag, and...

Electromagnetic Field Protection Pendant

$90 from Amazon »

Remember when all we had to worry about, in terms of having our brains fried or growing a tumor, was power lines and standing in front of the microwave? Oh man, if my mama caught me lingering too close to the microwave...

Siva Cycle Atom - Human-Powered Generator

$129.99 from Amazon »

When the Siva Cycle Atom says it wants some manpower, it wants some mother F'ing manpower. (Note: It will also accept elbow [knee?] grease from ladies.) An efficient, rechargeable block of pooled current, the Atom mounts...

High Resolution Ear Scope

Don't try to pretend like you don't want a 5x magnified, 13,000 pixel view of your earwax. The EarScope delivers a nearly perfect image of the Q-Tip zone to assist with cleaning or taking sick pleasure in watching a mountain...

Makashi Renegade Lightsaber

Discontinued

You've seen lightsabers and you've seen lightsabers. Saberworks' Makashi Renegade definitely falls into the second category. Currently in 3D printed prototype form, the saber endeavors to turn out a successful Kickstarter...

Trakdot Luggage Tracker

$49.99 from Trakdot »

Trakdot luggage finders enjoyed a grand reception at CES 2013, and the company is now gearing up for its initial propagation of Trakdots into the world on June 24, 2013. The palm-sized suitcase insert collaborates with...

Paper Shooter Kits

$45 - $55 from Paper Shooters »

The Paper Shooter snipers at Bang Creations know that when it comes to pastimes, nothing beats blasting things up to 75 feet. Particularly when the outcome of doing so averts death, injury, and getting yelled at by your...

The Buckle Puffer

Discontinued

While my sense is that the types of people who would be in the market for a covert, authority-thwarting way to pack a pipe would not be the same types of people who would care to hold their pants up properly, I still...

CubeSensors

$249 - $349 from Cube Sensors »

One of the main things about CubeSensors is that they are unobtrusive and not hideously ugly. So when you're geeking out using them to tell you how indoor temperatures and air quality are affecting your sleep, or when...

Keyport Slide 2.0

$59.95 from Amazon »

The Keyport Slide 2.0 masters the art of consolidation. Consolidation. I like that word. It conjures images of culling junk, making things tidier, increasing manageability and pleasantness. Even when I'm told that we...

AirTamer Travel Air Purifier

$79.95 from Amazon »

Typically, I'm all too happy to touch things in public places and then put my fingers in my mouth, but the airplane is where I draw the line. Confined space, large numbers of people and, ugh, their children, recycled...

MYO Telekinetic Armband

$199.99 from Amazon »

Well, telekinetic is only part of the story. Is telemusculokinetic a word too? Maybe that's redundant. Remote control muscles? Yeah, let's go with RC muscles. MYO armbands transform muscles--specifically the arm, or as...

The Knee Defender

$21.95 from Gadget Duck »

Ye of long legs, take note: though the Knee Defender can't increase the amount of space you have within your sphere of airplane seat misery, it can prevent further reduction of the already minimal square footage. Comprised...

PC Prankster

$99.99 from Amazon »

I live for shenanigans of the PC Prankster variety. No, not because I'm devious and mean-spirited, because I have great empathy for others. I know as well as anyone how it feels to reach a level of frustration with a...

R2 Steam Too

By: CrabFu »

Here's my pitch for the next installment, J.J. Abrams: It's Star Wars meets the Industrial Revolution. It's Han Solo and Boba Fett playing chicken with a pair of choo choo trains. It's a steam-powered R2D2. R2 Steam Too!...

3Doodler - 3D Printing Pen

$99.99 from ThinkGeek »

Bring your doodles to life. Well, except for the animation and biological functionality parts. So more like, give your doodles 3 dimensions, without the added concern of feeding or sending them to private school. WobbleWorks'...

Mini Robot Vacuum

Sold Out from Amazon »

Though I don't want robots to take over the whole world, I wouldn't mind if they took over the parts that are inconvenient for me. Such as cleaning up my messes. The Mini Robot Vacuum, a desktop-sized personal Rosie...

Wallet TrackR

$29 from Wallet TrackR »

Just wait 'til the next dirty thief who tries to jack my wallet finds out I've got the Wallet TrackR. And a Sap Cap. And an extensive history of kicking people in the shins. About the size of a credit card and connected...

Functional Steampunk Keyboard Arm Guard

Discontinued

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian...

Pinokio Robotic Desk Lamp

I'm not really sure what the point of Pinokio the robotic desk lamp is. Like, I'm not even sure he lights up or provides any practical desktop service at all. But look how cute. He's like a cautiously inquisitive little...