Cash-to-Bitcoin Machine

By: on September 11, 2014
$5,500 - $6,500
Check It Out

Have a bunch of pesky Bitcoins floating around the Internet? For just $6,500 Lamassu will help you get rid of them. Sell them from portable Bitcoin Machines to walk-ups, like an ATM for currency exchange. Don't worry, you'll still make a wad. Just follow bank and government models of jacking up exchange rates and charging exorbitant transaction fees.

And if you want to buy some Bitcoin? Keep your eyes out in the coming months for these specialized automatic tellers. Sure they'll probably cost you 15% to 1,000% more than other avenues of purchase, but at least with Bitcoin Machines you'll get something way better. Something we all want at all times: instant gratification.

Lamassu says its actual-to-virtual magic act happens in 3 easy steps and 15 seconds flat: 1) Scan your Bitcoin QR code in the Bitcoin Machine; 2) Insert cash--it accepts bills from over 200 countries; and 3) "You have Bitcoins! Buy yourself something pretty."

Bitcoin Machine ownership and operation may require licensing or registration in certain jurisdictions. For their part, Lamassu requires only a due diligence questionnaire of US-based operators prior to shipping. Machine owners will have a private key for loading Bitcoin (they set the ticker prices and fees) and collecting the cash out of its internal steel vault.

For those interested in launching a full-blown Bitcoin Machine business, Lamassu discounts their per-unit price to $5,500 for orders of more than 9. The company will accept Bitcoin Machine payment via wire transfer.

But they'd prefer it in Bitcoin.

Muchas danke to Uncrate.

Buy Now

Ring - The Shortcut to Everything

$184.49 from Amazon »

Like FIN, Ring is a wearable input device controlled by gestures and finger movement. Unlike FIN, Ring picked a name inextricably bound to JRR Tolkien and an iconic, highly complimentary line about ruling them all, so...

Check it out

Fully Stocked Swiss Bank Safe

Here's a Swiss bank safe for you to put in your living room. Or your back yard. Your secret catacombs? Somewhere roomy, guarded, and secure, because one thing's for sure: the vault's self-contained 1,619 safe deposit...

Buy Now

Butterfly Labs Jalapeno Bitcoin Miner

Sold Out from Amazon »

Butterfly Labs' entry level Jalapeno Bitcoin miner sells with a mining rate of 5 G/Hash per second, as well as with an upgrade that bumps its performance to 7 G/Hash per second. And while both are pretty paltry in comparison...

Check it out

Coin Card Consolidator

$50 - $100 from Coin »

Since I'm so important I pretty much have cards coming out of my ascending colon. Granted, most of them are for the various sandwich and froyo shops around my town (with one very special exception of a $50 gift card to...

Check it out

Make It Rain Cash Cannon

$49.99 from The Cash Cannon »

I've heard the saying "Make it rain" was coined in the strip clubs of Atlanta. This rainmaking enabler called the Cash Cannon, however, appears to hail from New York. Maybe the singles sprayer will create a brotherly...

Check it out

You Snooze You Lose Cash Alarm Clock

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

In a nutshell--so you can start cookin' up how you're going to use the SnuzNLuz or who you're going to give it to without further ado--what you see here is an alarm clock that connects to your online bank account via...

Check it out

Dash Quickdraw Wallet

$13 - $19 from Dash Wallets »

Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug...

Check it out

Indestructible Biometric Wallet


Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible...

Check it out

Plastc Universal Card

$155 from Plastc »

The Plastc Card is like the Coin card consolidator, except...except not much. The two financial data storage and universal payment options are very similar. Right down to their pre-order only availability (Plastc is expected...

Buy Now

$50,000 Prop Dollars

$30 from Amazon »

Wamp, wamp. It's what Data really found in that bag of "Fifty dolla bill! Fifty dollar bill!" Fake money. Forged moolah. Or, more literally, a Hollywood prop. And if you're looking for a stack of worn, distressed replica...

Check it out

The Fortress Luxury Safe

$128,800 from Doettling »

I sure hope German safe manufacturer Doettling's Fortress lives up to its "safest luxury safe in the world" claims because there's no way any owner of one is going to be able to keep it hidden, discreet, or installed...

Buy Now

Self Defense Money Clip

Sold Out from Amazon »

A self defense money clip. Huh. Is that a good idea? Seems like an attacker might consider your money, like, his primary reason for attacking you, and if he got it all tidily stored in a lightweight clip of durable aluminum...