AIRE Digestive Tracker & Fart Predictor

By: on January 04, 2017
Check It Out

You probably think FoodMarble's AIRE is redundant. You know exactly what your digestive tract turns into a room-clearing onslaught of the fartsies. Beans. Beer. Looking at a bag of Taco Bell. But do you know why these foods make you bloat, fart, and double over in pain? (Or, if you're a lucky SOB, why they don't?) And do you occasionally get struck down with gas and indigestion for seemingly no reason, say, after chewing a piece of sugarless gum?

Fart prediction is really only a happy side effect of the AIRE's intended use. The little square breath tester's umbrella function is to provide analytics on your digestive system's ability to process various compounds, and guide you towards the foods that are most compatible with it. It's a personal digestive tracker.

FoodMarble explains that when your body doesn't fully digest what you eat, much of it gets gassy in your gut. When the gas buildup reaches an unmanageable volume, you begin to feel the symptoms: bloating; discomfort; the hot 'n' stanky; maybe even diarrhea or constipation. Some of this gas also passes from your gut into your bloodstream and, when it hits the lungs, comes out with your breath. The AIRE operates like a breathalyzer, testing the quantity and components of your mouth gas.

Paired with a free Android and iOS app, the AIRE performs a FODMAP test. FODMAP stands for Fermentable Oligo-, Di-, Mono-saccharides, and Polyols, or the common types of food carbohydrates that ferment fast into gut gas. Some examples are fructose and lactose. Your results are shown as fermentation scores in red or green. The higher the score, the less you're able to absorb / digest that carb. At a glance, green scores give you the OK to chow down, and red scores fall into the get ready to sleep on the couch tonight zone.

Once you've gotten your FODMAP measurements the AIRE app will tell you how much of each is in the foods you eat, and give recommendations on what will suit your digestive system better. You can also use the app to track food intake, gas levels, stress levels, and sleep to further get a handle on your symptoms and get out of the cloud of air freshener everyone sprays in your face when walk into a room.

At printing, the AIRE digestive tracker was available for pre-order. FoodMarble anticipates beginning shipment in August / September 2017.

Buy Now

Oral Rehydration Salts

$13.99 from Amazon »

Oral rehydration salts should part of everyone's survival kit. Especially your survival kit for New Year's Eve. And Christmas Eve. And the office holiday party with the open bar. And your friend Cornelius' Ugly Christmas...

Check it out

The Can Stamp

$6.95 from Can Stamp »

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things...

Check it out

Cicret Human Touchscreen Bracelet

By: Cicret »

My new tablet? My bulging, Tom-Cruise-in-The-Last-Samurai forearm. Hey, if they can make a laser-powered virtual keyboard that tracks fingers for real-time typing (and sound effects!) why can't they make a bracelet that...

Check it out

Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear

$38 - $70 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

Check it out

i.Con Smart Condom Penis Tracker

British Condoms' i.Con isn't the first sexual fitness tracker to make the rounds in the UK--back in 2014 Bondara teased, but then never released the SexFit. At printing, i.Con was doing the same. Teasing your eager overachiever...

Check it out

Motiv Ring - Fitness Tracker & Sleep Tracker

$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

Check it out

Smarty Ring Smartphone Controller

$175 from Smarty Ring »

Smartphone-connected watches, smartphone-connected wristbands, it was only a matter of time before someone came up with a smartphone-connected ring. Particularly with the great fanfare surrounding the Ring Cl

Check it out

Naked 3D Fitness Scanner

$499 from Naked »

All you metric-driven, body-conscious visual learners out there, it's time to get Naked. And anyone else intrigued by the idea of using regular 3D body scans to track health and fitness, you might want to give this full-length...

Buy Now

Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers

$12.95 from Amazon »

At printing, Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers had 14 reviews on Amazon, and every single one of them contained both a serious critical analysis of the product's smell-quelling efficacy, and an insightful comment...

Check it out

SelectaDNA Human Marking & Tracking Guns

Genetics always triumph in the end. In the case of the SelectaDNA High Velocity DNA Tagging System, pellet-sized building blocks of life fire from either a pistol or a rifle at a target up to 100 to 130 feet away--typically...

Buy Now

Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever

$14.99 from Amazon »

Windi the Gaspasser is one of those WTF products I as a childless dude saw and immediately thought was, in this order: a funny joke; a disgusting not-joke; a sad reality. You basically stick this little (un)plug in your...

Check it out

Axon Fitness Stick with Light Feedback

$199 - $249 from Axon »

The Axon fitness stick, a strength tracker and trainer with LED light feedback, takes me back to my youth. To Happy Joe's Pizza Parlor & Arcade, home of a Love Tester machine? Remember that one? Squeeze the handle as...