You know what contentious pop culture debate on which I have no opinion? Nutella vs. Peanut Butter. Seriously Internet forums? You're warring over this? Each is a transcendentally delicious standout in the world of spreads. Who cares more...

A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG and GSTMA* are more...

Ice straws are what I will give children to drink hot chocolate with so I don't have to hear them whine and cry about how it's too hot and they burnt their tongue and waaa, waaa, waaa, I want a hug. I often want a hug too, you little more...

For those who believe Oregon is just full of bike-ridin', tree-huggin', farmer's-market-shoppin', paradoxically-Nike-wearin' liberal geeks...well, maybe you're mostly right, but Oregonians also have some pretty wicked creativity when more...

Know what sucks about a bacon cheeseburger? OK, besides nothing. What sucks is when you sink your teeth into its crispy-juicy tag team of flesh, and the bacon doesn't break cleanly. When an entire, mayonnaise-laden strip slides out more...

Let's preface this pimp of Danilo Buendia's Breaking Bad Blue Glass Meth Rock Candy with the obvious: rock candy is pretty easy to make oneself. Even Blue Glass rock candy. Certainly easier than Blue Glass meth, and probably easier more...

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch or nip of brandy. more...

Red Solo cup, I fill you up. And am way less likely to drop you in someone's lap now that you are made of foam instead of cheap plastic that accrues grip-compromising condensation like Lindsay Lohan accrues pardons for criminal behavior more...

Mmm, handmade Star Wars chocolates. The best thing to come out of the Galactic Republic since the Intergalactic Identity Management Agency cleared Planet Earth for passports. Nikki Belleperche's Force-injecting variety pack includes more...

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome of personal more...

All those times I bring a bottle of vodka to work for lunch and some d-bag from HR sneaks into the freezer and takes a few swigs like I'm not going to notice? Gone. And, at $15.99, the Liquor Lock is way cheaper than nailing him with more...

Nothing like a little homemade flames-of-hell-spouting rooster sauce to take the edge off Thanksgiving with the fam. Granted, buying a bottle of Sriracha will only run you around $5, and cooking it up yourself will probably cost double more...

Like most people, the frequency of my hiking and camping excursions would increase exponentially if only I could incorporate more carbonation into the endeavors. What's that you say? Come September 2012 Pat's Backcountry Beverages will more...

Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the sting out like more...

This ain't no Pooh Bear honey. Fortified with freshly chopped habanero peppers, the meaty smoke of a hot grill, and a subtle dose of bee nectar, Honey Badger BBQ Sauce will grab you by the nuts, make you lick the sun, and then lure more...

Get ready for the uncontrollable "O" mouth, exhalations of fire, and streaming tears of blissful discomfort only a few Victoria's Secret models, and Bhut Jolokia, the world's hottest pepper, can extract from your otherwise stoic, impenetrable more...

Suck it, chocolate bunnies! This Easter all the cool kiddies want chocolate craniums cast from real human skulls! OK, so how many comments of outrage am I going to get when I point out that partaking in a piece of dark chocolate skull more...

These aren't just Gummi Army Guys. These are 5 pounds of Gummi Army Guys. If I ate all of them, I would be 5 pounds heavier. Until I projectile vomited faster than the speeding bullets the GIs are ammo'd up with, at which point I would more...

Yes, it's the rooster sauce hardened, domed out, and mounted on a stick. Sriracha Lollipops: where cocks become balls. Online 'pop shop Lollyphile has turned everyone's favorite liquid fire into a lickable creation that will give the more...