Food

Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix

$18.99 from Amazon »

Mmmmm, nothing hits the spot like a Punch in the Nuts. This Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix listing includes 6 nut-punching bags filled with cashews, peanuts, chocolate bits, and raisins. Get ready to whack your taste buds...

Chocolate Candy Bar Maker

$29.99 from Amazon »

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husband! No one's getting their hands on the Chocolate Candy Bar Maker but me! Chocolate's loyal, and gluttonous, and selfish little whore slave. No, redact that redaction. Whore!...

Pumpkin Spice Spray-On Spice

$10.99 from Amazon »

I've been waiting to show you this can of Pumpkin Spice Spray-On Spice. Waiting for the season of PSL, and Pumpkin Spice everything else, to arrive. My coffee run this morning confirmed it has. Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin...

Country Archer Natural Meat Snacks

$2.75 - $6 from Country Archer »

Country Archer makes meat snacks for those of us who are done with dry, brittle jerky that tastes like nothing but fake smoke and salt, and feels like it's going to puncture our gut when we swallow it. And also for those...

Zach's Sprayable Wing Sauce

I had the best grilled chicken wings I ever ate on Super Bowl Sunday in Charleston, SC this year. Then the next day I got grilled chicken wings at a different spot and they became the best chicken wings I ever ate. Charleston...

Dry Brew Coffee Chews

$17.99 from Amazon »

Dry Brew Coffee Chews are for those of us who can't tear ourselves away from the computer--or the Xbox--long enough to get our 3:00 cups o' pick-me-up. And those, such as runners and bikers, who don't have the space or...

RXBARs - Whole Food Protein Bars

$9.41 - $63.99 from Amazon »

There are now as many kinds of protein bar in the grocery store as there are cereal, chips, and cookies. But unlike the second group, most of which I will eat by the trough, I find that the majority of protein bars Suck...

CLR CFF Clear Coffee

$7.50 - $19 from CLR CFF »

For some coffee clears the mind, but for none does coffee clear the teeth. CLR CFF, perhaps inspired by 1992 and Pepsi's other face-palm moment, and certainly in an effort to pump your body with the physical effects of...

pureLYFT Energy Stir Sticks

$12.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

A spinana-berry smoothie pureLYFT-ed up with a cuppa-coffee's worth of caffeine. My girlfriend said that would knock out my Sunday hangover. And, washed down with 6 strips of bacon and some biscuits & gravy, it pretty...

Fatworks Animal Fat Cooking Oils

$16.95 - $22.35 from Amazon »

I don't know much, but I do know that I would like some duck fat french fries. Yes please, Baby Jesus! A coupla spiralized russets, a sturdy saucepan, a big, fat wad of Fatworks kettle-rendered quack fat, and I don't...

Cereal Motel Adult Cereals

$12.50 from Cereal Motel »

Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously...

Edible Chocolate Candles

$9.99 from Vat 19 »

Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles...

Mucha Liga Tequila

Mucha Liga has made a tag team trio of lucha libre-themed tequilas, and in so doing has also made a fantasy many of us never even knew we had come true. Which mask will you wear ('til you puke 'n' pass out) during your...

Sriracha Seasoning Stix

$14.99 from Sriracha Stix »

Mmmmm, impalement coming soon to steak near you. Sriracha Seasoning Stix are solidified pokers of the iconic rooster sauce--the hot cock's hot cock, if you will--made to spice up your meat prior to cooking. Press a few...

Ayoba-Yo Biltong Beef Snacks

$8.99 - $16.99 from Ayoba-Yo »

Ayoba-Yo makes Biltong. And if saying so sounds like I'm speaking in a foreign tongue, it's because I a little bit am. Both "ayoba" and "Biltong" are words more commonly heard in South Africa. The former, at least as...

Dried Japanese Blowfish Fins

Fugu is what they call blowfish or pufferfish in Japan. It's also the name they use for the dish licensed chefs make from the adorable Dizzy Gillespie of the sea. And that's licensed not just as chefs, but specifically...

Know Brainer - The Thinker's Coffee Creamer

$18 from Amazon »

Know Brainer hops on the food trend train--you know, paleo locomotive pulling ketogenic, intermittent fasting, Whole 30, and gluten-free boxcars--to bring us this "thinker's" coffee creamer. The individual, portion-controlled...

20 Pounds of Japanese Wagyu Beef Filet Mignons

Sold Out from Amazon »

One look at these Japanese Wagyu beef filet mignons--their decadent marbling, their popped-cherry rosiness--and you're like, F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth? There goes my New Year's...

Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

Shower Beer

Shower Beer sounds like a bottle of ale-scented novelty soap. Which would be cool. But what Shower Beer really is is even better: a 6-ounce bottle of actual pale ale conceived and packaged to be downed in 3 perfect gulps...

Exotic Predator Jerky Gift Pack

$39.99 from Amazon »

Now this is the kind of snake bite I'll take any day: the one where I'm on the delivering end, and the python recipient is covered in teriyaki sauce, kissed with brown sugar, and dried with a touch of liquid smoke. The...

Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Egg

I tried one of Truffle Cottage's Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Eggs last night. And if by "tried" you think I mean "demolished," then you are correct, sir! I think She-Ra: Princess of Power ate a couple from the stash...

Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula

$24.99 from Amazon »

What's that you're eating? Antelope jerky? Pssshh! Amateur. Real men, men with balls as big as their 3 p.m. snack cravings, eat dehydrated zebra tarantulas. Straight from the can...

Paqui Carolina Reaper Madness Chip

Sold Out from Paqui »

Betcha can't eat just one. Maybe not even one bite. Paqui says its Carolina Reaper Madness Chip is made with the hottest chile pepper on earth, and possibly in all the circles of hell. It's so hot they package them in...