68

Srirachup - Sriracha Ketchup

By: on March 16, 2014
$30
Check It Out

I told them this is what would happen if they let the roosters near the tomatoes. The cocks just can't keep it to themselves. And now we have this bastard child. This atrocious, humiliating...awesome-sounding, mouthwatering bastard child I would like slathered all over everything I'm eating right now, including the mint chip ice cream and Hostess Sno-Ball. Sosu Sauces marries, or rather advocates the illicit encounters of juicy California tomatoes and spicy rooster juices to create Srirachup. The tastiest child conceived out of wedlock you'll ever eat.

As an alternative to saccharine, gummy, highly-processed ketchups, Srirachup begins as a 9-ounce jar filled with about 2 pounds of freshly-picked, organic California tomatoes. It then balances the tomatoes' natural sweetness with the fire of organic chili peppers, plus complementary ingredients that include organic apple cider vinegar, organic brown sugar, sea salt, and organic garlic. Yep, that's not only a ketchup-sriracha hybrid, it's a 100% organic one. Srirachup renounces: paste; high fructose corn syrup; GMO ingredients; artificial preservatives; and produce grown in faraway lands.

And it really brings out the coconut in my Sno-Ball.

Srirachup price is for a 4-pack.

Muchas danke to The Awesomer.

Buy Now

Refillable Sriracha Keychain

$12.99 from Amazon »

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently...

Buy Now

15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$79.80 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

Check it out

Zach's Sprayable Wing Sauce

I had the best grilled chicken wings I ever ate on Super Bowl Sunday in Charleston, SC this year. Then the next day I got grilled chicken wings at a different spot and they became the best chicken wings I ever ate. Charleston...

Check it out

Sriracha Seasoning Stix

$14.99 from Sriracha Stix »

Mmmmm, impalement coming soon to steak near you. Sriracha Seasoning Stix are solidified pokers of the iconic rooster sauce--the hot cock's hot cock, if you will--made to spice up your meat prior to cooking. Press a few...

Check it out

Sriracha Vodka

Hello there, ma'am. Fine evening we're having, wouldn't you say? What's that in my hand you ask? Here, have a closer look....

Check it out

Sriracha Candy Canes

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

Is it too early to be talking about candy canes? Most likely. But I join the Targets and Macy's (Macy'ses?) of the world in shoving Christmas down your throat immediately after Halloween only because I care about you....

Check it out

Sriracha Boxer Briefs

$18.99 from The Oatmeal Shop »

For those who claim to put Sriracha on everything, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Introduce the rooster to the family jewels. Acquaint your two favorite hot cocks. Sriracha Boxer Briefs burn along backsides...

Buy Now

Sansaire Steak Aging Sauce

$36.59 from Amazon »

If you've got a Crock-Pot or a fancy foodie sous vide cooker, Sansaire says their Steak Aging Sauce will infuse your meat with "the complex flavor of dry aging" in no more than the amount of time it takes you to cook...

Buy Now

Potato Chip Cutter

$238.70 from Amazon »

The potatoes spilling out of this ribbon fry cutter look delicious. For $100 I would eat them raw. I might also eat them raw if I were sure no one was watching. Easy to load, easy to retract and reload, I know once I...

Check it out

Habanero Honey Badger BBQ Sauce

Discontinued

This ain't no Pooh Bear honey. Fortified with freshly chopped habanero peppers, the meaty smoke of a hot grill, and a subtle dose of bee nectar, Honey Badger BBQ Sauce will grab you by the nuts, make you lick the sun...

Buy Now

Your Slyce Pizza Topping Divider

$18.99 from Amazon »

I guess the Your Slyce pizza topping divider--or as they call it, "personalization tool"--is a good idea for, say, the 1% of Americans who eat only 1 slice of pizza. For the rest of us, it's a terrible tease....

Buy Now

SOUP3RB Cook + Blend Blender

$83.68 from Amazon »

It looks like someone stuck the SOUP3RB's name in a blender. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether the word that came out of 3 Square's Cook + Blend machine is hot or cold....