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Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets

By: on August 29, 2011
$14.99
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The future is here. These amazing miracle berries are eaten before meals to make the meals taste better. "How?" you ask. By making sour and bitter foods taste sweet. I have tried these and they do work. Don't believe me? Take one and eat the best tasting lemon you've ever had.

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Juice Bruce Lemon Squeezer

$14.95 from Amazon »

And you thought getting the occasional squirt of lime in the eye from your friend Cornelius' Corona was bad. Juice Bruce spends his entire useful life getting doused in the acid of citrus fruits. All in the name of serving...

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Lemon & Lime Slicer

$8.79 from Amazon »

A manual contraption for slicing lemons and limes into perfect wedges that isn't my two hands may not be a groundbreaking addition to the world, but as a bar tool I'd pretty sure I'd use it at least as much as my shaker...

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Lemon Shark Juicer

$7.96 from Amazon »

A lemon shark is a real thing! It looks like this! Do you think it's called a lemon shark because it prefers lemons to human limbs or because it is particularly sour? Wikipedia says...wamp, wamp. Neither. It's just yellowish...

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Juicy Salif Citrus Squeezer

$49 - $100 from Amazon »

Oh holy arachnid! I'm not going to need a set of Samurai sword kitchen knives to exact retribution on that SOB onion, I'm going to need them to save myself from the Alessi Juicy Salif citrus-squeezing alien! And by "citrus-squeezing"...