Novelty

Astronaut Ice Cream Variety Pack

$27.95 from Amazon »

Astronaut ice cream was a rare treat, a novelty worthy of much wonder and awe when I was a kid. Now though, like 8lb bags of Lucky Charms marshmallows, and pretty much everything else, you can just buy it in bulk online...

FunkO's - Funko Pop Toy Cereal

FunkO's, an obviously-named line of breakfast cereals from the Funko Pop Toy creator, will hit shelves this July. The colorful and surely-sugar-packed O's will begin as a 6-character series, each sporting its Funko Pop...

Slice of Sauce - Sliced Ketchup Singles

Slice of Sauce is ketchup meets Kraft Singles meets Fruit Roll-Ups meets your burger. Your new and improved mess-free burger, since this dried tomato condiment trades in the globs of red goo for a solid, slim, slick...Slice...of...

Fuego Box Craft Hot Sauce Club

Light up some taste buds right alongside the Christmas tree or Menorah with a Fuego Box craft hot sauce club subscription for your favorite spice fiend. Dad or Gramps can't take the heat? No problem. Fuego has a Mellow...

Ranch Dressing Fountain

Hidden Valley began pouring on the Ranch dressing in fountain form last March, but I think it's much better suited for Thanksgiving, and the holiday season as a whole. What better gift for your party guests than an 18"...

Pumpkin Spice Spray-On Spice

$10.99 from Amazon »

I've been waiting to show you this can of Pumpkin Spice Spray-On Spice. Waiting for the season of PSL, and Pumpkin Spice everything else, to arrive. My coffee run this morning confirmed it has. Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin...

Zach's Sprayable Wing Sauce

I had the best grilled chicken wings I ever ate on Super Bowl Sunday in Charleston, SC this year. Then the next day I got grilled chicken wings at a different spot and they became the best chicken wings I ever ate. Charleston...

Dry Brew Coffee Chews

$17.99 from Amazon »

Dry Brew Coffee Chews are for those of us who can't tear ourselves away from the computer--or the Xbox--long enough to get our 3:00 cups o' pick-me-up. And those, such as runners and bikers, who don't have the space or...

CLR CFF Clear Coffee

$7.50 - $19 from CLR CFF »

For some coffee clears the mind, but for none does coffee clear the teeth. CLR CFF, perhaps inspired by 1992 and Pepsi's other face-palm moment, and certainly in an effort to pump your body with the physical effects of...

Cereal Motel Adult Cereals

$12.50 from Cereal Motel »

Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously...

Edible Chocolate Candles

$9.99 from Vat 19 »

Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles...

Dried Japanese Blowfish Fins

Fugu is what they call blowfish or pufferfish in Japan. It's also the name they use for the dish licensed chefs make from the adorable Dizzy Gillespie of the sea. And that's licensed not just as chefs, but specifically...

Know Brainer - The Thinker's Coffee Creamer

$18 from Amazon »

Know Brainer hops on the food trend train--you know, paleo locomotive pulling ketogenic, intermittent fasting, Whole 30, and gluten-free boxcars--to bring us this "thinker's" coffee creamer. The individual, portion-controlled...

20 Pounds of Japanese Wagyu Beef Filet Mignons

Sold Out from Amazon »

One look at these Japanese Wagyu beef filet mignons--their decadent marbling, their popped-cherry rosiness--and you're like, F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth? There goes my New Year's...

Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

Exotic Predator Jerky Gift Pack

$39.99 from Amazon »

Now this is the kind of snake bite I'll take any day: the one where I'm on the delivering end, and the python recipient is covered in teriyaki sauce, kissed with brown sugar, and dried with a touch of liquid smoke. The...

Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula

$24.99 from Amazon »

What's that you're eating? Antelope jerky? Pssshh! Amateur. Real men, men with balls as big as their 3 p.m. snack cravings, eat dehydrated zebra tarantulas. Straight from the can...

Paqui Carolina Reaper Madness Chip

Sold Out from Paqui »

Betcha can't eat just one. Maybe not even one bite. Paqui says its Carolina Reaper Madness Chip is made with the hottest chile pepper on earth, and possibly in all the circles of hell. It's so hot they package them in...

Russian Space Food

$58.99 from Amazon »

Tubes of Russian Space Food. Hmmm, those don't look suspicious at all. You know, it's not really a question of how much you're willing to pay for the chance to eat 3 authentic cosmonaut meals, but of whether or not your...

Cards Against Humanity Fortune Cookies

I like the fortunes that say things like, "Soon you will be sitting on top of the world," and "May you grow rich," followed by a series of lucky numbers that happen to coincide with those drawn during this week's Power...

Soylent Coffiest

$15.89 - $82 from Amazon »

A few years ago we got our first taste of Soylent, a meal replacement drink that essentially amounts to dog food for humans. (Yeah, yeah, or maybe...it is humans!) Day in, day out, Soylent tastes exactly the same, and...

Banana Flour

$10.99 from Amazon »

Paleo and gluten-free monkeys rejoice! You can now enjoy puffy, fluffy pancakes, peanut butter cookies, and rich, thick sausage gravy, or even just an extra shot of potassium in your morning smoothie, courtesy of the...

Satan's Blood Hot Sauce

$16.90 from Amazon »

Satan's Blood Hot Sauce comes in a "blood vial shaped bottle with 800,000 Scoville units of pepper extract." Yeah, I can see that. I can also see a cock & balls ready to spew a scorching, blinding, fiery-hot death onto...

BubbleLick Edible Boozy Bubbles

$19.99 from Amazon »

If I had a kid, BubbleLick-ing would be my father-son bonding activity of choice: he blows, I consume. It might be the only game you'll ever play as a parent that actually gets more fun the longer it drags on...