Novelty

Eat a D**k - Anonymously Mail a Chocolate Penis (NSFW)

$26.99 from DicksByMail.com »

It might be made of chocolate, but this penis is sized like a d**k. Shaped like a d**k. Textured like a d**k. It's even certified organic like a d**k! And it's all boxed and ready for you to send to someone you think...

Bob Ross The Joy Of Cereal

$9.99 from FYE »

Now here are some happy little trees that are going to give me a happy little belly, 'cause the carefree plant life in this box of Bob Ross The Joy Of Cereal isn't made of oil paint, it's made of marshmallow! Mmmm, I'm...

Shiba Inu Dog Marshmallows

If the sight of a Shiba Inu makes you just want to squishitsface, well, how about sparing the dog's dignity and ability to breathe, and taking out your cuteness aggression on a set of Shiba Inu Dog Marshmallows? Come...

Cocoa Loco Choco Challenge

$19.95 from Fuego Box »

Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day better than a mini chocolate bar laced with a pepper hotter than the Carolina Reaper. The Cocoa Loco Choco Challenge from Fuego Box, in the spirit of Paqui's Carolina Reaper Madness...

24 Pounds of Cheese Wedding Cake

$439.99 from Costco »

Blushing brides, dashing grooms, say cheese! Redefining the meanings of both cheesecake and wedding cake is haute gourmet artisan bakery...Costco. The warehouse club's Sid Wainer & Son Cheese Lover wedding cake stacks...

MealEnders Signaling Lozenges for Appetite Control

$16.95 from Amazon »

MealEnders are "signaling lozenges" that help control appetite, curb cravings, and stop overeating at the end of meals when all you want is a big fat piece of pie. And then another. MealEnders are also the latest diet...

The Death Nut Challenge Version 2.0

$19.99 from Amazon »

Anyone who likes spicy foods and a challenge will be delighted to receive this carefully selected 5-pack of Death Nuts under the tree this year. And everyone else will be equally stoked for the post-gift-opening entertainment...

Carl the Drinking Chocolate Snowman

$38 from Amazon »

Carl, that's not snow, it's a pot of boiling milk. Yeah, Carl, I know it's pretty and white, but it's hot. Hot, Carl. And you're a chocolate snowman. Get near that thing and you'll...Carl! Carl, no! Car-Caaaarrrrllll!...

Pringles-Flavored Instant Ramen Noodles

Pringles-Flavored instant ramen noodles are coming! And! And! Ramen-flavored Pringles potato chips are coming! In honor of Pringles' 50th anniversary and Super Cup's 30th anniversary, the brands have teamed up on a mashup...

Astronaut Ice Cream Variety Pack

$27.95 from Amazon »

Astronaut ice cream was a rare treat, a novelty worthy of much wonder and awe when I was a kid. Now though, like 8lb bags of Lucky Charms marshmallows, and pretty much everything else, you can just buy it in bulk online...

FunkO's - Funko Pop Toy Cereal

FunkO's, an obviously-named line of breakfast cereals from the Funko Pop Toy creator, will hit shelves this July. The colorful and surely-sugar-packed O's will begin as a 6-character series, each sporting its Funko Pop...

Slice of Sauce - Sliced Ketchup Singles

Slice of Sauce is ketchup meets Kraft Singles meets Fruit Roll-Ups meets your burger. Your new and improved mess-free burger, since this dried tomato condiment trades in the globs of red goo for a solid, slim, slick...Slice...of...

Fuego Box Craft Hot Sauce Club

Light up some taste buds right alongside the Christmas tree or Menorah with a Fuego Box craft hot sauce club subscription for your favorite spice fiend. Dad or Gramps can't take the heat? No problem. Fuego has a Mellow...

Ranch Dressing Fountain

Hidden Valley began pouring on the Ranch dressing in fountain form last March, but I think it's much better suited for Thanksgiving, and the holiday season as a whole. What better gift for your party guests than an 18"...

Pumpkin Spice Spray-On Spice

$10.99 from Amazon »

I've been waiting to show you this can of Pumpkin Spice Spray-On Spice. Waiting for the season of PSL, and Pumpkin Spice everything else, to arrive. My coffee run this morning confirmed it has. Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin...

Zach's Sprayable Wing Sauce

Discontinued

I had the best grilled chicken wings I ever ate on Super Bowl Sunday in Charleston, SC this year. Then the next day I got grilled chicken wings at a different spot and they became the best chicken wings I ever ate. Charleston...

Dry Brew Coffee Chews

$17.99 from Amazon »

Dry Brew Coffee Chews are for those of us who can't tear ourselves away from the computer--or the Xbox--long enough to get our 3:00 cups o' pick-me-up. And those, such as runners and bikers, who don't have the space or...

CLR CFF Clear Coffee

$7.50 - $19 from CLR CFF »

For some coffee clears the mind, but for none does coffee clear the teeth. CLR CFF, perhaps inspired by 1992 and Pepsi's other face-palm moment, and certainly in an effort to pump your body with the physical effects of...

Cereal Motel Adult Cereals

$12.50 from Cereal Motel »

Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously...

Edible Chocolate Candles

$9.99 from Vat 19 »

Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles...

Dried Japanese Blowfish Fins

Fugu is what they call blowfish or pufferfish in Japan. It's also the name they use for the dish licensed chefs make from the adorable Dizzy Gillespie of the sea. And that's licensed not just as chefs, but specifically...

Know Brainer - The Thinker's Coffee Creamer

$18 from Amazon »

Know Brainer hops on the food trend train--you know, paleo locomotive pulling ketogenic, intermittent fasting, Whole 30, and gluten-free boxcars--to bring us this "thinker's" coffee creamer. The individual, portion-controlled...

20 Pounds of Japanese Wagyu Beef Filet Mignons

Sold Out from Amazon »

One look at these Japanese Wagyu beef filet mignons--their decadent marbling, their popped-cherry rosiness--and you're like, F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth? There goes my New Year's...

Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...