The Beast - Fist Can Koozie
Sure, I'm on the receiving end of a knuckle sandwich...again...but at least at the fist of The Beast I can wash it down with an ice cold Bud Light Lime. What? BLL is why I keep getting sucker punched in the first place? Dude, are you kidding me? It's so good. A beer of epic artificially-citrus-flavored proportions. A giant in the world of refreshing alcoholic beverages, deserving of this gargantuan foam cooling koozie. Plus, anything darker gives me heartburn.
The Beast makes for a useful and apropos accessory at Comic Con after parties, angry protests, and Pfister Sisters concerts. Wielding the man-sized koozie may require several beers' worth of practice and finesse, so be sure to unleash it only when you are prepared take on a 12-pack.