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Scorzie - Scoreboard Koozie

By: on June 07, 2012
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One fun thing to do while drinking is engage in games of low to moderate skill and athleticism. Likewise, one fun thing to do while engaging in such games is drink. Scorzie, then, is an obvious proponent of fun. A beer koozie-scoreboard enmeshment, the Scorzie's foam base and inner cylinder keep brews cool and hands dry, while its numerical, color-coded outer rings keep an honest tally of your unrivaled domination of the Summer 2012 Lawn Olympics.

Bocce Ball, Cornhole, beer pong, flip cup, that game with the ladder contraption and nunchuk balls, all sporting endeavors whose scores start getting as blurry as our vision 4 beers into the BBQ, now have an authoritative solution to a problem that has plagued history with innumerable threats, bar brawls and deaths by mace. Unlike chalk and human memory the Scorzie's 21-point rotating rings are precise, lasting, fair and resilient to bullshit. At last, the Koozie Nazi has arrived.

For those who prefer flexing different kinds of muscles, Scorzies will also keep track of non-physical pursuits, such as number of beers consumed, number of phone numbers received, and number of high-five-garnering applications of the phrase, "That's what she said."

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QB54 - Lawn Chair Football Game

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Get your tailgating season started as frikkin' early as NFL preseason with the QB54, an outdoor football game built around a pair of packable lawn chairs....

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Igloo Party Bar Cooler with LiddUp Lighting

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The Igloo Party Bar Cooler keeps the party lit up all night long courtesy of LiddUp technology. About 4 years ago, startup LiddUp sought crowdfunding for its own illuminated cooler. The campaign didn't quite hit its goal...

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Dual Beer Glass

$35 from Etsy »

At first I thought the Dual Beer Glass was intended for sampling two different types of beers at once, and I was like, How the dickens am I supposed to keep one from spilling all over my crotch when I'm drinking the other?...

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Biersafe Underground Beer Cooler

$67 - $117 from Biersafe »

The Biersafe Underground Beer Cooler is a smaller, simpler, and much cheaper version of a design I first saw in the eCool cooler. The Biersafe removes some of the nifty engineering of the eCool - like, instead of using...

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The Knockout Beer/Water/Gravity Bong

$40 from The Knockout »

I used to prefer my knockouts served as Fireball shots and right hooks, but this Knockout, a new twist on the beer bong, might leave those standards unconscious and bleeding from the ear on the floor. Designed for attachment...

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Rusticity Wood Balancing Game

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"Sure, Squirt, we can read Goodnight Moon. Just as soon as you get these wooden pegs aligned and balanced perfectly on this rocking moon disc! No, not just a couple - all of them! If you're going to be a surgeon and fund...

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Boob Cube

$9.50 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

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Snake Venom - World's (New) Strongest Beer

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At this time last year, the World's Strongest Beer was Armageddon, a 330 mL bottle of malt, hops, a little sweetness, and an awesome 65% ABV crafted by Scottish brewery Brewmeister. This year, the World's New Strongest...

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The PuttSkee - Skee Ball Golf

$499 from Amazon »

And the PuttSkee skee ball-golf hybrid even folds up into an oversized luggage / encyclopedia salesman-style rolling crate so you can hold tournaments next to the keg on Fridays at the office, turn it into a drinking...

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Contropiede Transparent Foosball Table

$16,100 from YLiving »

I wonder if the Contropiede Foosball Table's removal of color and opacity will make it easier or harder to keep my eye on the ball. (So I don't screw the game up for all the other kids who are trying to develop their...

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Porn: The Game!

$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw...

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Cannonball Beer Growler

$79 from Amazon »

BOOM! Father's Day gift for Dad, done. And your sister will never think to pair cannonballs and beer like Terracotta Republic did with this sweet ceramic growler, so even if you lost Mother's Day to her, you'll definitely...