Stink Yourself Slim Spray

By: on October 21, 2013
Sold Out from
Check It Out

Stink Yourself Slim is not a joke. It's not a gag gift or an Instructables project some dude made at home to give to the lardass who hogs all of the chocolate long johns when someone brings donuts to work. Yeah, I know. It has a skunk who looks like Peppy Le Pew on the bottle. And it's called Stink Yourself Slim. But it's real. It's made in Britain by businesswoman Alex Fontaine. And it's a (self-described) legitimate means of losing weight by enlisting the body's sense of smell to thwart food cravings.

Fontaine says she developed the idea for Stink Yourself Slim when she was at a party where someone vomited or farted or otherwise generated an odor so awful she lost her appetite. Given the fat-laden, calorically-dense spread on offer, it occurred to her that might not be such a bad thing. So she began researching the relationship between the nose's olfactory receptors and the areas of the brain controlling memory, motivation, and emotion.

What Fontaine found is that, from an evolutionary perspective, smell has always been vital to our eating habits and, in turn, survival. Our ancestors who ate nuts and berries straight from their source relied on nasal powers to direct them towards good (as in both healthy and non-poisonous) foods and away from bad ones. Today, our brains maintain the urge to judge an item as "good" or "bad" based on its smell. However, in the battle of Man v. Nature, Man has succeeded in developing foods that smell like they were kissed by a Baby Jesus-Angelina Jolie tag team, but defy nature's guidelines for real nutritional value. Man has gotten awesome at making Man fat.

Stink Yourself Slim aims to trick the brain into thinking foods that taste good, but are unhealthy, are actually foods that taste bad, that disgust us. Emitting the spray around problem foods or areas will allegedly signal the brain to move away from them.

I don't know if Stink Yourself Slim really smells like a skunk's rectal region, but I do know that, thankfully for those willing to risk trying it, users do not have to apply it as they would perfume, thereby making themselves reek as bad as whatever offensive venom the bottle contains. Fontaine recommends a few quick sprays of the scent around "danger cupboards" of fatty foods to eliminate the desire to snack between meals or eat out of boredom or emotional instability. So, like, theoretically if I had used Stink Yourself Slim I wouldn't have demolished 3 sleeves of Oreos when my friend Cornelius dissed me this weekend to make fucking gluten-free carob chip cookies with his new girlfriend. (Yes, they're still together. My attempts to break them up using the autofeed screwdriver were unsuccessful.)

While Stink Yourself Slim promises not to create lingering poot bomb smells, it is still recommended that weight loss crusaders use the spray only at home, and not at wedding receptions or holiday parties or buffets where thin people with willpower and restraint, plus fatties who don't care if they get diabetes and heart disease, might have to suffer through its pestilent smell as well.

Muchas danke to Geek Alerts.

Check it out

Naked 3D Fitness Scanner

$499 from Naked »

All you metric-driven, body-conscious visual learners out there, it's time to get Naked. And anyone else intrigued by the idea of using regular 3D body scans to track health and fitness, you might want to give this full-length...

Buy Now

The Fat Magnet

$2.40 from Amazon »

I know a lot of fat magnets. I bet you do too. Most of them look more like an ass in need of a run around the block than a reimagined dreidel though. But this Fat Magnet, the dreidel kind, is actually here to help the...

Check it out

ShapeScale 3D Body Scanner

$299 - $499 from ShapeScale »

ShapeScale says its 3D body scanner and fitness tracker is "like a magic mirror that allows you to time travel. See your present and past self from any angle." Hmmm, "magic mirror," huh? Something tells me my relationship...

Check it out

Diet Star Diet Belt

$19 from Donkey »

Here's a wearable health tracker for you. Super low tech. Even your mama can figure out how to use the Diet Star diet belt. And she's gonna need to because...

Buy Now

Fatworks Animal Fat Cooking Oils

$16.95 - $22.35 from Amazon »

I don't know much, but I do know that I would like some duck fat french fries. Yes please, Baby Jesus! A coupla spiralized russets, a sturdy saucepan, a big, fat wad of Fatworks kettle-rendered quack fat, and I don't...

Buy Now

Halo Top Eat-the-Whole-Pint Healthy Ice Cream

$3.99 - $5.99 from Amazon »

This is the Halo Top pitch: 240 to 280 calories per pint*, and it more than doesn't suck. In fact, get a jar of PB2, mix some of that powdery peanut butter goodness into a personal vat of Halo Top Chocolate, and you won't...

Buy Now

Pavlok - Habit-Breaking Shocking Wristband

$179.77 from Amazon »

If it's good enough for training the dog, it's good enough for training you. Pavlok thinks so anyway. And most people who were spanked as kids or repeatedly got hit in the face playing dodgeball would probably agree that...

Buy Now

Inflatable Chub Suits

$29.99 from Amazon »

WARNING: Keep Chub Suits away from fire. Ha! All I can think of after seeing these tub-o costumes and reading that line is the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Kids, take note: if you wear an inflatable Chub Suit this Halloween...

Check it out

GoBe Automatic Calorie Intake Tracker

$125 from Healbe »

Healbe calls its GoBe wristband a 100% automatic body manager. Like the scads of other fitness trackers available and forthcoming today, this means it detects and provides feedback on biometrics such as heart rate, blood...

Buy Now

High-Protein Bone Broth K-Cups

$8.99 from Amazon »

Beef. It's what's for...your morning cup of coffee. Healthy living champion LonoLife has put together a series of packable little K-cup soups and broths that brew quick & tasty in any compatible single-serve coffee maker....

Buy Now

Know Brainer - The Thinker's Coffee Creamer

$18 from Amazon »

Know Brainer hops on the food trend train--you know, paleo locomotive pulling ketogenic, intermittent fasting, Whole 30, and gluten-free boxcars--to bring us this "thinker's" coffee creamer. The individual, portion-controlled...

Buy Now

High-Protein 100% Bean Pasta

Sold Out from Amazon »

Make that Inordinately-High-Protein 100% Bean Pasta. That tastes surprisingly F'ing delicious. Each serving of Explore Asian's bean pastas--available in black bean, soybean, adzuki bean, and edamame & mung bean varieties--has...